Battle for a riceball

Chapter 14: Shattered

He thought he knew what it felt to be angry. He thought he knew how it felt to be sad, unwanted. At that moment, he felt his heart shatter. He never believed that he would feel so-lonely.

Kyo Sohma was standing at the entrance of the kitchen, watching in awe as Tohru and Yuki kissed. He took a few steps back- as if he was afraid. Looking at them crushed him. He couldn't stand it anymore, he silently walked back upstairs. He couldn't even feel his legs anymore, he practically stumbled over on his way back to his room.

He held his hand up to his forehead and felt himself burning up, and he was starting to feel dizzy. Kyo fell to the ground, clutching his chest he felt a horrible knot in his stomach...He didn't want to loose Tohru. He didn't want that damn rat to steal her from him.

His right hand grasping the ground, he made his hand to a fist in anger. Of all the times that he had lost to Yuki in martial arts…..He had also lost to him for the fight with Tohru. Of all the times that he had lost in martial arts with Yuki, he didn't think it hurt as much as loosing Tohru. It felt like his heart was being squeezed and wrung out like an worn-out sponge.

All the feelings I failed to show Tohru…I was too late. That damn rat beat me..once again. Dammit! Why does this feel so…so…damn lonely?

He remembered the past, when he found out that Yuki and Tohru had kissed during the dance. It bothered him at the moment, but not as much as this. He knew that Tohru had made up her mind. She had chosen that damn Yuki over him. He clenched his teeth in anger and felt a single tear roll down his cheek.

When was the last time I cried? I don't even remember. Dammit….I feel like an idiot. I don't think I can stand to even look at Tohru anymore. I feel so alone…knowing that..I have lost her…

Kyo felt another tear roll down his cheek. He blinked and clenched his teeth in anger.

Stop.

Stop crying.

You're crying because you're scrawny and cowardly and filled with self-pity…Yuki and Tohru. You should be happy for them.

Kyo was fighting with his inner self. How could he be happy for losing someone he loved so much?

I should be happy for them…they love each other, and Tohru is happy.

Tohru is happy.

Right?

I should be happy…too.

"K-Kyo? Can I come in?" A sweet voice called from outside his door. It was Tohru. He flinched at the sound of her voice. There was a pause of silence as Kyo's eyes widen in shock. He didn't know what to say-or do. He froze in his spot, just staring at the door.

"Kyo are you okay!?" Tohru wondered a loud.

"No, I think I'm going to sleep right now. I don't feel good," Kyo lied.

"Kyo! What's wrong do you need some medicine?! I'll make you some tea!" Tohru cried worriedly from behind the door. Kyo just sighed.

"No, I just want to sleep," he hinted for her to leave.

"O-Okay. Kyo, I hope you feel better," she whispered worriedly. She seemed slightly hurt by the harsh tone Kyo was using towards her, but he didn't care at the moment.

She hurt him too.

What he was going through…

Was much worse.

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Kyo felt cold, he was shivering cold. He felt frozen and wet. He raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Wake up you stupid cat," Yuki stood by his bedside with an empty jug in his hand. Kyo peered up at the window noticing that it was late in the afternoon. He started back at Yuki, his vision clearing up a bit. He snapped to reality.

"ARGH! YOU DAMN RAT!" Kyo seemed furious, he sat up.

"You're making Tohru worry. You never wake up this late, what's wrong with you stupid cat?" Yuki muttered harshly. Kyo put a hand across his face.

"That's none of your business, you damn rat," Kyo spat.

"Whatever, just get up before Tohru gets more worried," Yuki sighed.

"Why the hell did you have to wake me up with a jug of water dammit! Couldn't you have poked me in the shoulder or something!?" Kyo barked.

"Tohru tried to do that, but you obviously didn't feel it," Yuki muttered.

"Get outta my room you damn rat!" Kyo muttered harshly. Yuki merely shrugged as he exited the angry cat's room.

Tohru. I can't get her out of my head. I love her so much- I can't stand it. I can't stand losing this fight against that damn rat Yuki.

Kyo got up to his feet and yawned. He made his way out, to find himself looking at a very worried Tohru. Her bright blue eyes, angelic face, she looked adorable. Kyo snapped out of his thoughts and quickly turned away.

"Kyo! I'm so glad you're awake! Do you feel better?" she put her hand against his forehead, making him blush.

"You're kind of warm Kyo, are you feeling better?" she repeated her question. He felt like the tears were going to fall out again. He felt a knot in his throat.

"Y-Yeah," he choked out. He swallowed hard before quickly walking away.

"Wait Kyo! Would you like some-" Tohru couldn't finish her sentence before Kyo had already disappeared.

I can't even stand to look at her without feeling like my heart is being stepped on.

Kyo sighed, making a few strands of orange hair fall to his face.

"I hate this," he muttered a loud.

Kyo turned around, and his cat ears perked up as soon as he heard some whispering coming from Shigure's room.

"Yes, but I don't want to leave Tohru alone," he heard Yuki's voice mutter.

"I understand that Yuki, but Akito will be suspicious if you miss out on the New Year's banquet again," Shigure pointed out.

"I know, but I really don't want to leave her all by herself," Yuki protested.

"Don't worry, I doubt Kyo is going to the banquet this year. He never liked it. I'm sure Tohru will have some company," Shigure muttered. Kyo felt like his heart just jumped. Yuki would be leaving for 3 days. That means Kyo would have 3 days to tell Tohru how he felt.

"Even worse! I can't leave Tohru with that stupid cat! Won't Akito get suspicious if Kyo isn't there? Why don't you force him to go!?" Yuki sounded furious.

"The cat of the zodiac does not belong in the banquet. You know that Yuki. Akito doesn't care whether Kyo decides to come or not. He certainly will get furious if you decide to skip this year's banquet," Shigure explained.

"Fine I'll go, but I'll try to make Tohru stay somewhere else while I'm gone. I don't want her to stay with that stupid cat," he muttered. Kyo felt like he wanted to strangle Yuki, but he sighed and continued listening.

"Alright then, maybe you should contact one of her friends. That creepy psychic girl perhaps?" Shigure suggested.

"Yeah, I'll try that," Yuki nodded his head in agreement. Kyo sank to his knees. He couldn't let that happen.

That damn rat isn't taking her away. I'm not giving up.

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Poor Kyo…..

How will this story turn out? Haha. I have it all planned out, but for now I hope you're enjoying it!

Special thanks to all the people who have reviewed! It makes me so happy!
Special thanks to: gemstonex318! Her long, detailed review made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Thank you so much!