Lupin smirked at Sirius, "I've never walked around looking like a girl, wearing a sparkly purple mini-skirt with my hair done up in bright pink pigtails for an entire week."
"Dammit!" exclaimed Sirius, "I knew I forgot someone when I was Obliviating!"
A couple people shook their heads as if to clear their minds. "Now that you mention it, I remember that too!" said McGonagall.
"Don't forget the fake breasts and low-cut shirt," added Snape maliciously. "That was hot," he added under his breath. Harry, who was sitting next to Snape, pretended not to hear. Sirius looked very very mad. Especially when Lupin added,
"I still have pictures."
"You traitor!" exclaimed Sirius.
Pomphrey cleared her throat. "I've never been mistaken for someone's pet cat."
"Poppy! I trusted you with that!" screeched McGonagall.
"Now, now, settle down," said Dumbledore.
"Listen to Dumbledore," sneered Draco Malfoy, "We wouldn't want you to start a catfight." His only response was a cold look. "I've never done it with a Weasley," he said superiorly.
Harry drank. Five times. "Harry?" asked Remus.
"What? One drink for each Weasley!"
Ginny sobbed, "I was saving myself for you, and you've gone and had sex with all of my brothers?!"
"Not all," responded Harry, "I haven't had sex with Percy."
"Did I mean so little to you then, that you would deny that we made love?" Neville asked Ginny broken-heartedly.
"Was I that bad?" asked Remus.
"What about me?" Hermione interjected indignantly, "You told me I was your one and only!"
"You said you loved my Devil's Snare!" said Sprout.
"If you didn't actually have sex with me," said Snape silkily, "Can I have my money back?"
The Weasley boys all looked ready to kill Snape at that comment. Fred and George began whispering furiously, Charlie hit his fist against his palm, Bill started twirling his wand with a homicidal grin on his face, and Ron began kicking Snape under the table. Very very hard.
"Calm down, boys. It's only a game ahem an ancient Muggle custom," said Dumbledore, "I do believe it's your turn, Pomona."
Sprout turned to McGonagall with a smile on her face. "There's something I've always wanted to know..." she said, "I've never had sex with Dumbledore." McGonagall drank. So did Harry. And Trelawney. All eyes turned to Harry first.
"Harry? You've had sex with Albus?" asked Sirius, voicing the thought that was in everyone's head.
"Not Albus Dumbledore, Aberforth Dumbledore," responded Harry, "He's actually quite good. And he doesn't look nearly as old as Professor Dumbledore here."
Everyone heaved a sigh of relief. Then all eyes turned to Trelawney. "Aberforth Dumbledore?" Sprout asked.
"No, Albus Dumbledore!" hiccupped Trelawney. McGonagall stood up and pushed back her chair. She marched over to where Dumbledore was sitting, and slapped him soundly. Then she turned to the unfortunate Trelawney.
"You have crossed me for the last time!" she said coldly, brandishing her wand.
"No, don't hurt me!" shouted Trelawney, "I See with my Inner Eye that you will not hurt me!"
"Oh, really?" snarled McGonagall, "See this!" She sent a bright blue jet of flame at Trelawney. Trelawney slumped to the floor, unconscious, just as the flames were about to hit her. "Remove her!" Minerva commanded the room at large. Trelawney vanished.
"I See with my Inner Eye that Trelawney will not be coming back down from her tower for a long time," snickered Harry.
"Professor Trelawney, Harry," reproved Dumbledore.
"I've had sex with her, I can call her whatever I damn well please," Harry snapped.