Stifled giggling from the corner of the room drew the attention of the seated wizards and witches. Madam Hooch and Madam Pomphrey were sitting in a corner, virtually on each others laps. "Let's go flying!" said Hooch, "Then we can go skinny-dipping in the Lake!"

"Yes, let's!" agreed Poppy, kissing Hooch on the cheek. They stood up, and threw their arms around each other's shoulders as they staggered out the door, singing the lyrics of "The Weird Sisters" songs as they went.

Sirius stretched. "I'll deal with you later, Snape… It's my turn. I've never tried to do it with a book," he said.

Hermione tried to sink down inconspicuously in her chair, but her glass rose in front of her face and started spinning. "Fine," she sighed, as she grasped it, and then took a small sip.

"What book?" asked Sirius, holding in laughter.

"Hogwarts: A History, if you must know," she replied icily.

"Figures," Ron whispered to Harry, "I always knew she was in love with that book."

Bill grinned ferociously at Charlie, "It's my turn, which means revenge at last!" he exclaimed. "I've never done a strip tease in front of all my co-workers, and the Ministry inspectors who were there!"

"I should never have told you that," said Charlie.

"Don't worry," said Bill, "Even if you hadn't, all your co-workers also told me."

Charlie's reply was interrupted because at that point it was noticed that Professor Dumbledore was drinking. Everyone turned green with disgust.

Albus chuckled, "I was young once, too."

Harry, the first to recover from this most horrifying image, perhaps because he had had sex with far more horrifying things, announced, quite soberly, "My turn. Hmm… I haven't had sex with…" he paused. "Hmm… what haven't I had sex with?" he asked himself, and the room at large. "Ah! I've never done it in my animagus form!" he exclaimed triumphantly after some time.

McGonagall lifted her glass, and took a large swallow. "Minerva! Are you telling us that those rumors about you and Mrs. Norris were true?" asked Sprout, appalled. Minerva grinned unrepentantly.

"What can I say? Kitties like to play!" she giggled, "That rhymes!"

"I've never stolen anything from my potions cabinet," Snape glared at Harry.

"Now that just defeats the purpose of the game ahem ancient custom!" complained Dumbledore, duly drinking from his glass.

"Albus!" he squawked dangerously.

Fred and George tapped their glasses together, said "Cheers!" and then drank. Dobby drank. Snape grew more and more incensed as Harry continued not to drink. Hermione drank surreptitiously, hoping that in his rage, Snape wouldn't notice. Finally, resigned to the fact that Harry had not actually ever stolen any ingredients, he turned to sneer at Hermione.

"Don't think I didn't see you, Miss Granger," he snarled in a deep voice. She blushed, embarrassed and angry.

Dumbledore headed off the coming confrontation, "Now, Severus, that really didn't count. That entirely defeated the purpose. Go again."

"Fine," he grumbled. "To dispel the rumors about it, I've never fucked or been fucked by Voldemort."

"Who would?" asked Ron.

McGonagall and Harry drank at the same time. Everyone looked at McGonagall in shock. "He was Head Boy when I was Head Girl. He was charming, charismatic, attractive…" she trailed off dreamily.

"Harry?" Ron asked tentatively. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"It was his idea!" explained Harry, "One minute we were fighting, and the next he was snogging me! And I figured, 'Hey, what the hell?' so we did it. It wasn't the best of places. There was a tree root digging into my back the entire time… But he wasn't bad. He wasn't bad at all. You missed out, Snape. I mean, he did all the other Death Eaters. Sent me memories through the scar link. I'm sort of sad he's gone… the man was a sex god!"

There was shocked silence.

Then there was more shocked silence.

Finally, the silence was broken by Hagrid, who was moaning in his sleep. "Yes, Fluffy… mm… Oh, Aragog… yes…. So good… Right there, Sandy!"

"Who was Sandy?" asked Ron, turning quite green, "I know what the other two were."

"Oh, he was one of the Blast-ended Skrewts," replied Harry cheerfully, "Hagrid adored him, and vice-versa."

"I'll take Hagrid back to his hut," volunteered Hermione eagerly.

"Very well," said Dumbledore, "You may go."

"Dobby will be happy to be helping Mistress Hermione!" Dobby squeaked. Hermione quickly levitated Hagrid, and exited the room, staggering slightly, and leaning on Dobby's shoulder.

"What do you want to bet that they're not just going to take Hagrid back to his hut?" Fred wiggled his eyebrows.

Firenze stood by the edge of the forest, next to a dark, shadowy figure, watching Hermione and Dobby stumble down to Hagrid's hut, laughing and joking as they went.

"Mars bright!" said the figure next to him.

"Yes, Grawp, it is indeed. As is Saturn," he said pensively, "That means that I should go join the drunken revel currently going on in the Room of Requirement."

"Frenz leavin'?" Grawp asked sadly. "Why?"

"Mars is bright tonight," replied Firenze, trotting away.

Grawp tore up a tree in anger, then had a bright idea, "Grawp go visit Hermy!"