Charlie looked around. "Back to me? Why don't I try something safe… I've never slept with a brother."

Fred and George looked embarrassed, but not terribly embarrassed, and said in explanation, "We're twins who do everything together…"

McGonagall drank, "He was only my step-brother… and our parents introduced us the next morning. We didn't talk to each other for months after that."

Ginny drank. All the Weasley boys looked at each other in suspicion. Finally, Bill said, "I didn't do it."

Charlie looked relieved. "Me neither."

"Not us!" chimed in Fred and George.

They turned to look at Ginny in dread. "Not… ickle Ronnikins?" asked Fred with trepidation.

"No, Percy," she stated.

"Incest seems to be a Weasley trait," snipped Snape.

Mad-Eye Moody choked, which made everyone realize that he too was drinking.

"I retract my prior statement," Snape said dryly.

Fred said viciously, still angry at Snape, "I've never gotten off with a potions ingredient during class."

McGonagall gasped, "How unprofessional of you Severus!"

He sneered at her, "Don't tell me you've never been tempted."

Tonks, who by this time was rapidly approaching oblivion, slurred out "I've never propositioned… no… that's not right… prop… proposit… proposed! That's it! I've never proposed to anyone!"

Draco drank. "Oh, who?" asked Ginny. Draco didn't respond.

Dumbledore drank. "I loved Sybil very dearly once."

McGonagall looked very upset. "You proposed to her and not to me? Albus, how could you?"

"I'll make it up to you, Minnie," Albus said, conjuring up a bouquet of flowers. McGonagall accepted them, and stood up. She swayed, and nearly fell over, but Albus caught her. The collision, however, caused fur-lined handcuffs to fall out of McGonagall's robes.

Someone wolf-whistled.

"Wild thing!" said Harry, to their exiting backs. McGonagall looked back at him and winked.

"Something tells me that that relationship is going to be a little rocky," said Sirius after they had departed.

"Fleur and I, at least, are very happily married," said Bill as he drank.

"I thought she proposed," interjected Harry.

"What about your lovers on the side?" asked Charlie.

"Fleur and I both know that a little bit of dabbling is healthy for a relationship. I don't begrudge it when she has a little fun, and she doesn't begrudge me."

Moody drank, and began to cry silently. "Molly… why did you say no? Why did you choose Arthur over me?"

The Weasley boys looked horrified. "You… and Mum!?"

Ginny said, "Don't I look like my mother?"

"Yes…" answered Mad-Eye tentatively.

"Then what are you waiting for?" asked Ginny, "Let's go!"

Tonks, finally overcome by the alcohol, turned bright purple with neon green and orange striped hair, a falcon's beak, and bright yellow eyes, and passed out. Harry levitated her out of the room, because she was just a little scary to look at.

George, horrified by the events that had just occurred, moved his mouth soundlessly, and gasped like a fish out of water. "I'm just too scarred by that image to come up with anything."

"But it's your turn!" whined Harry, who was miraculously still almost completely sober.

"I've never… er… done it with myself," said George.

Draco drank. "My mother wanted to name me Narcissus, you know."

Harry laughed. "I stole Hermione's Time Turner to see what it would be like…

"My turn," said Remus, crawling out from under the table.

"Why were you under there?" asked Bill.

"No reason…" answered Lupin evasively. Sirius looked at Remus askance.

"You were always weird about tables, Moony."

"Well, at least I've never been proposed to by Lucius Malfoy!" Lupin responded.

Sirius drank. Harry did too. "He likes me almost as much as Firenze does. That's why I said no when you proposed, Draco. It would just be awkward. And besides, you were good, but your father is better."

"Is he really better than me?" asked Draco, crestfallen.

"Honestly, Draco, yes."

"I'm sorry, Draco," said Snape, "But I have to agree with Potter on this one."

"At least no one has ever cried after sex with me because I was bad," he snapped at Snape.

"You swore that everything I told you during sex would be confidential!" said Snape. "Besides, it was Potter, and what does it matter if Potter cried?"

"HARRY?" asked Remus.

"Not me," said Harry, "He wasn't great, but he wasn't that bad. He probably improved with time."

"You mean… James?!" asked Sirius, looking as if someone had kicked his favorite puppy, "What blackmail did you have over him?"

"If I tell you, he'll come back from the grave and haunt me," said Snape.

"I can't believe... Jamie… you… It just isn't … It doesn't make sense!" spluttered Sirius, "I've never heard anything so horrifying in my entire life!"

Harry drank to that.

"What did you hear?" everyone asked.

"Believe me," said Harry, "you don't want to know."