CHAPTER 3: DISTANT MEMORIES

Robert smiled at his young wife. They had been unpacking for sometime and now she was resting on the divan. She lay stretched out. The sun was on her hair, but not on her face. She looked so beautiful lying there. He grabbed a blanket and laid it on her body. He could not tell if she was sleeping or not with her eyes closed as they were. Her breathing was soft and even. He smiled. His dear wife had fallen asleep. Good, he thought. She needs it. So much has happened today no wonder she is exhausted.

He sat down on the floor beside her. He smiled as he looked at their baggage cast about. He had let her tell him where things should go. Even though he had been married more than a year he still put things away as a bachelor she often would chide him.

He felt a soft hand come up and touch his shoulder and loose ponytail. He had stripped down to his linen shirt and breeches. The shirt hung loosely about his frame. He was barefoot, but the fire in the fireplace near by kept them warm.

He turned and the soft hand touched his face. He brought his hand up and held her hand to his cheek. It was cool. "My sleeping angel." He said softly. He brought the hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly.

She opened her eyes and smiled. "Have I slept long?" She asked.

"No." He said softly. He clasped her hand to his chest as he turned on his knees to look at her. He laid his head on her chest and looked at her. "You can rest more if you would like." He said tenderly.

"No. I must finish. I want this to feel like home."

He nodded and smiled. He lifted his head as she pulled herself to a sitting position. He helped her to her feet.

A knock came at the door. Robert smiled. "Yes?"

Iain and the maids walked in with the children. Both were sleeping. Robert showed them the other room.

Iain smiled at the couple. "We wanted to know if your charmin' maids could come help us." He asked.

"The babies are sleeping. I do not see why not." Amanda said.

The maids smiled and bowed. They left with the elder Bordon.

Mandy moved to the pile she had been working on. She dropped to her knees. She lifted one of her husband's shirts and something fell from it. It sparkled and caught her eye as it fell back. She looked down setting the shirt aside.

She lifted it. It was a silver heart. The initials CB and RB were engraved into it. Small green crystals were set in ivy leaf facets. It was beautiful. She opened it. Inside were two miniatures. One was clearly Robert, but the other was darker skinned that most Irish girls. She cocked her head to the side.

"Robert?" She inquired.

He cocked his head to the side as he walked to her. "Yes my love?" He asked.

She turned slightly to him. She lifted the locket in her hands opened. "Who is this? Is this your sister?" She asked. She was curious. She was pretty.

He froze and reeled against the memories that came into his head. They were so far in the past and yet very real to him. "No not my sister." He said quietly.

He walked over to the window and sat on the shelf before it. He drew a knee to his chest as he looked out. Amanda watched him. She watched as his eyes filled tears, but he wiped them away before they could fall.

She rose to her feet and went to his side. She sat down and touched his knee. "Robert?" She asked softly. She had hit a sore spot she knew. She wanted to ease his very real pain.

He jumped when she touched him. He was so lost in his thoughts he had not noticed her coming to him. He reached up and touched her hand gently. He caressed her fingers.

"Who was she?" She asked. "She was someone she loved." She said. "Someone you cared deeply for."

He sighed. "Yes." He admitted slowly.

She sat down and drew him into a hug. "Robert tell me. This is making you sad. Your pains are mine. Your joys are mine. Please talk to me." She begged.

He just stared out the window.

"Robert." She said softly. It hurt her to seem him so. "Please."

When that got nothing from him she made to leave him in his thoughts until he could sort them and talk to her.

He looked at her. "Alright." He whispered.

She sat back down slowly. He pulled her against him needing to feel her warmth and love as he began to tell his past.

"She was a Spanish girl I met while in the army. We wooed and married." He smiled sadly. "I was so proud that I had won her as I am now with you." He swallowed and seemed to be bracing himself. "She became with child. I had never felt so happy in my life. I was going to be a father." He said.

She knew he was talking about how he had felt now. She was very happy she had given two children.

He sighed and closed his eyes. "Some of the men were jealous of her being my wife." He said. He looked out the window.

"What happened Robert?" She looked at his face and knew. "She was taken from you." She said.

"Your brother and I were playing blind man's bluff with her. We heard a gunshot. Carol collapsed." Tears came from his eyes and rolled down. "She died in my arms. She and my unborn child. They were taken from me." He looked at her. "The bullet was supposed to have been for me." He looked at her sadly. "She took the bullet meant to kill me and I could not save her."

Amanda sensed he had been blaming himself for years. "William told me you had lost your lady friend, but he had not said your were married." She sighed. "You are not to blame." She said and bent. She kissed him. "You are a good man. I know you wish to switch her places, but God has now granted you a wife and children to help you heal."

He smiled tenderly. "You are as wise as you are beautiful." He said. He caressed her cheek. "Do you see why you are so dear to me?"

"Yes. It must have been hard on him having you in grief and me in the convent."

He looked at her and dried his tears. "He spoke often about how you were so quiet." He said. "He always felt he was losing you."

He looked at her. "I know what happened." He said softly. "Does it still…effect you? What that man did?" He held her face in his hands.

She looked at him. She became uncomfortable. "I still sometimes dream of it." She admitted softly.

He wrapped his arms about her and pulled her against him. "Do you want to talk about it? I shared my past secrets that have marred my past. Trust me." He said softly.

"I do." She said. She sighed. "He was so nice. Then he beat me and almost had me to get back at William for something in the past." She sighed. "Ban saved my life and my body."

Robert looked at her. "What did he do?" He asked.

Strangely it hurt to bring this to the surface and yet she felt relief in sharing with him the secrets she had even buried from her beloved brother.

"He beat me and said that it was all William's fault." She said softly. "He cut me. It hurt." She bit her lip against the memories.

"But he did not have you." Robert said.

"I don't know for sure." She answered. "I think he did not."

"Mandy he would have had your body, but never you." He said softly. "He would never have had your heart or soul. These you only give to me." He caressed he cheek with his large hand. "I know he did not have you in any case." He said tenderly. He bent forward and kissed her passionately. "I love you."

"Do you still love her?" She asked.

He sighed and met her eyes. "Yes. I will remember her always, but I have my second wife here to heal the pain of losing her."

She nodded. "Do not blame yourself for losing her." She said softly.

He embraced her tightly. "She will always be in my past, but you being here and talking about it…" He kissed her. "I love you."

She pulled back and lifted his hand. She laid the locket in his hand and closed his fingers about it. "Remember the happy times with her." She said. "As you would with me if I were killed."

Robert grabbed her by the shoulders. "Don't say such things." He said fiercely tender.

"Robert it…"

He laid a finger to her lips. "No." He said. His eyes froze her words.

She looked at him. He was being very firm. He did not want to loose her. She smiled and kissed his finger. "I love you." She whispered.

"And I you." He said as he wrapped her in a tight embrace before he moved to rise.

She moved and smiled at him. "I am the wife of a good man." She said.

He said nothing only looked at her in his tender way as he leaned down to pick some clothes from the floor.

She began to put things into piles for him to put in the places she said.