Chapter Title: Meeting the Danny Phantom Characters and Mindless Violence
Warnings: Grammatically-correct Crack, AU, OCs, Violence
A/N: Written with my co-author, Ralmal, who refuses to create an account on And in this story, I am Elemia.
Also, some people are referred to as 'the :their name here: ' . This is because it sounds much more natural to me that way... So, whenever someone is referred to as 'the :their name here: ' , ignore the 'the' and then it's just their name...YAY!

Disclaimer: If I owned Danny Phantom, Danny would have ended up saying "I'm going GAY" at some point in the story. But I don't, so all you haters can relax.
Previously:

The previous chapter had very little to do with this one. Thus, it shouldn't matter if I don't put stuff from the previous chapter here, neh?

Out of the blue, the Lexa announced, "I changed my mind…I actually love…THE CELIA!"

Suddenly, an asian sophomore who was shorter than the Lexa, Elemia, and Ralmal popped in out of nowhere. Sparing a glance toward the odd male standing in front of her, she asked, "Who are you?"

Upon seeing her, the Lexa promptly glomped her, yelling, "I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE you!" Unfortunately for the hapless, almost-having-a-fro-but-not-really the Lexa, the Celia didn't get it at all. But he didn't notice, because he's denser than gold.

Erstwhile, the Lexa took out a picture of Danny, Paulina, and Tucker. But before you go jumping to conclusions, Danny and Tucker were already in the picture. Paulina's face was just taped over Sam's face, because Paulina would not be caught dead with them. This is obvious…or is it? "Sorry, guys," the Lexa whispered as he ripped the picture in half.

In another world…

Paulina, Tucker, and Danny all doubled up at the same moment, screeching, "NOOO! THE PAAAAAAAAIIIIIN!"

But back to the OCs…

Elemia, it seemed, was doing her best imitation of an actress in a drama.
…
A Korean drama. Or maybe even a Chinese drama. She was never that great at acting, anyway.

"You!" she cried, pointing a quivering finger at the Celia. "Celia, you betrayed me!"

Celia, ever the blond (but not really, she's asian), retorted with her most favorite phrase in the world: "Say WHAT?"

Completely ignoring the only other asian character to appear in this story so far, the Elemia began crying. "I've been betrayed by someone I've known for all of two months!"

Ralmal, having no pity for either one, and not really caring about the Lexa, said, "What is that?"

Celia, suddenly aware of her impending doom, shrieked, "I did nothing!"

But it was too late, for Elemia clawed her eyes out. With her short, stubby, nails. You people out there, please remember: chewing your nails is bad for them. You people who chew your nails, good for you! I'm one of you, anyway.

With a pitiful "AAAh my EYES," the Celia fell unconscious on the floor. But can you blame her?

…and then the Lexa walked in…did he leave? The world may never know…I wasn't paying attention. Were you?

Anyways, upon walking in, he began listing his demands…stupid inflated-ego. "I need the Fenton Thermos! Or shall I say…the Sushi thermos!" As an afterthought, he added, "and I need a sidekick," while rolling his eyes in a bored way.

Suddenly alert, Elemia jumped up and down, crying, "ME! PICK ME!"

And thus, she was picked…

…Although that decision was questioned after she annoyed the living heck out of everyone nearby with the weird heart-shaped anime eyes.

Continuing down his list, which eventually unrolled out the door, Lexa resumed his businesslike demeanor. That is to say, he acted like a king come home from war.

"I need someone to monitor the Fentasush and work in the lab!"

This became Ralmal's job…but she only accepted it after he gave her ten twizzlers.

And there were other, less important demands, like a mountain of chewy gobstoppers. No, not gobstoppers. Chewy gobstoppers. That is to say, jawbreakers that do not break your jaw because they are filled with chewy stuff. This is an oxymoron.

Coughing imperiously, as his inflated-ego had not yet returned to its normal size (that would be, of course, the size of an Olympic swimming pool), the Lexa said "Okay, team. We have one goal…to defeat Danny Phantom and his little friends."

Ralmal, ever the cynical Danny Phantom addict, questioned him. "Uhhh….why?"

This was, of course a good question…it made his ego shrink a bit…HA! Squirm, you little bugger, squirm! Uh…sorry.

"Because…because…because I said so!" Brushing off Ralmal's protests that that was not a reasonable reason, he continues, "Now, first we need to go into their world. We're gonna need some help…"

Suddenly, Ralmal's friend, Larie, appeared, much in the same manner as the Celia had appeared earlier. "I'll do it," Larie volunteered.

Before anyone could respond, however, their attention was drawn to the Celia, who had woken up. Just like that. You couldn't hear or see it, but I snapped while saying it. No, no, my fingers, not my sanity.

"OH MY GOD IT FREAKING HURTS."

Still miffed, Elemia replied, "That's what you get for betraying me!"

"But I didn't do anything!"

"Says you," Elemia rebuffed.

"Yes, she did say." Ralmal commented. "What is that?"

Interrupting them all while annoying them to no end, the Lexa began something that could only be described as…speshul. "I'm going gh-…Oh, wait, DP took that line…Freakin' line stealer…"

Randomly, they all skipped off to the Lexa's house. Yes, they skipped. Like little girls with balloons...

At the Lexa's House

Ralmal, having appointed herself leader, was making complicated diagrams and flow charts on sheets of notebook paper randomly spread across the room. "Okay, so here are the people who are on the mission to destroy Danny Phantom and his friends: Me, the Lexa, Elemia, the Celia (who has no eyes) and Larie." Turning away from the rest, she mumbled, "For now…" but it was wasted, because everyone heard her.

Lexa, bewildered, asked, "What was that?" but received in return only Ralmal's nonchalant "Nothing…nothing…"

Elemia then said, "Okay, let's go down to the Sushi Lab." This surprised everyone because it was the first time they had been in the Lexa's house. How did she know about the Sushi lab? Must be a sidekick thing.

Ignoring the breaking of the fourth wall, they walked down to the Sushi lab, which was, in clichéd fashion, in the basement.

Whilst they were walking down the stairs, the Celia remarked, "This lab is so zesty."

The crickets chose this moment to begin chirping, but this made no sense, because it was, for some obscure reason, noon.

Providing some much-needed sarcasm to the scene, Larie muttered, "Riiiiiiiight." (I was being sarcastic about needing sarcasm, by the way.)

"Here," said Ralmal, pointing to some random object, "is the Sushie portal."

Without further ado, she opened the portal, which was like a ghost portal, but it was purple, not green.

Seeing the color of the purple, Ralmal and Celia cheered, "Yeah! Purple!"

Larie, all too used to this sort of behavior, sighed, "You guys are way too obsessed with purple." Lexa and Elemia nodded, sweat-dropping at the sight of the two capering about in their happiness.

Lexa, his ego having recovered, decided to begin his weirdo ritual again. "Okay, I'm going Oresush! (A/N: OMGWTF?)" And so, he…transformed…

…whilst Elemia looked on with her creepy heart-shaped anime eyes.

Lexa, being the anime-hater he was (A/N: I don't like anime-haters…they make me sad.), said, "Elemia, what is with your eyes?" but as was becoming a growing trend, Elemia said only, "Nothing…nothing…" in a nonchalant way.

Giving up, Lexa sighed, "Let's just go."

And so, everybody jumped in.

A Few Minutes Later…

Ralmal, being the avid Danny Phantom fan she was, commented, "Hey, we are in the Amity Park!"

Elemia, who was not such an avid Danny Phantom fan, said, "The where now?" but was ignored. Poor Elemia.

Because she was such an attention-seeking angsteh teen, Elemia pulled the Celia's hair out of the ponytail it was in and snapped a picture with a digital camera that appeared from thin air. "Yay! My life is validated!" she gloated, having taken said picture.

The Lexa/Oresush was simply staring at the Celia, saying something along the lines of "Oooh Miii…God…"

Whereupon Elemia promptly smacked him, chastising him with a firm, "Staring isn't nice."

Ralmal was silent, but she was laughing…at Elemia. Poor Elemia.

Larie, having missed out on the inside jokes, asked, "What's going on here?"

Ralmal then began to describe their location in detail. "We were at Amity Park. Yet for some undisclosed reason, we started walking…Hey! We are in front of a school…Wait…I can't see the name of it…Celia, can you see it?"

Depressed, the Celia sobbed, "I can't even see my hands!" It was angsteh…

Larie, squinting off into the distance, said, "It says…Casper High."

Then, they all heard the sound of someone going "Da da da dun…"

Elemia, being extremely paranoid, wheeled about before asking, "Oresush, was that you?"

Oresush replied, "No…" but everyone could see that his eyes were darting around suspiciously.

"Let's go in…" Larie began. Suddenly, she gasped and screeched (no, not at the same time), "Oh em gee!"

Everyone turned to face her, and asked, "What?"

Somewhat abashedly, she said, "I just noticed something. Oresush, why are you wearing Uggs?"

Oresush, wearing a deer-in-the-headlights expression on his face and a pair of fluffy pink Uggs on his feet, said nothing, but everyone knew that inside, he was saying something like "They're comfy and I like them and the fact that I spent more money on these shoes than the authoress spent on her computer makes me feel superior." Erstwhile, everyone else was thinking something along the lines of "Uggs are ugly and way overpriced." (A/N: I don't like Uggs…)

"Let's go inside," the Celia said, "It's time for Biology." This statement did not make sense to everyone else, because they were all freshmen and the Celia was a sophomore. How did she get into Honors Bio? She should be in chemistry.

After they all spent a good five minutes pondering this breakage of the fourth wall, the Oresush transformed (Into the Lexa, for those of you who weren't paying attention). Thereupon, Elemia stared at him with heart-shaped eyes.

"Okay," said the Lexa nervously, "you've got to stop doing that."

Anyways, they all walked into the biology classroom, which was room number 2420. The ones that could see then saw Sam sitting there.

But they didn't have long to ponder this as the Celia suddenly shouted, "WHAT IS GOING ON? WHY AM I HERE?"

Sam, having noticed the OCs (how could you not, with that kind of an outburst?), let out a faint "Woah…"

Larie chose this moment to say, "Like, oh my gosh."

Elemia commented, "This place looks familiar."

Ralmal gave her a flat look and said, "It's DP's school…What is wrong with you?"

Elemia replyed, "His school? What is that?"

Not to be outdone, Ralmal said, "The heck?"

Lexa, with another one of his trademark 'confused' expressions, said "Wait…did you just steal each others' phrases?"

Elemia, her eyes darting to and fro suspiciously said, "No…"

The Celia then said, "Say WHAT?"

Elemia patted her on the back, murmuring, "Wrong timing…but you'll get it next time."

Everyone else just laughed their heads off. Poor the Celia.

"Who the heck are you guys?" said Sam.

Everyone from Amazon East turned around and said, "You're still here?" Amazingly, this was done all at once.

"Like, who's the short dude?" Sam said.

"I'm the Lexa" he said. "More intelligent than you will ever be!" You see what I mean about egos?

"Thanks…I think" Sam said quizzically.

Ralmal asked, "Who's our teacher?"

"The Vlad," Sam said, with no hesitation.

Everyone except Larie gasped.

"Who's the Vlad?" Larie asked.

"So much to learn, so little time," Ralmal said airily.

At that moment, the Vlad walked in, putting an end to any and all conversations in the room.

"Hello, students!" he greeted. Suddenly his ghost sense went off. All pretenses of kindness left as he demanded, "OKAY! Who's the ghost?"

All the OCs then stared at the Lexa, because he was the halfa.

The Lexa said, "Uh…"

But it was too late.

"YOU!" cried the Vlad. "TELL ME THE SQUARE ROOT OF 144!"

"But this is Biology," the Lexa whined.

"JUST DO IT" the Vlad ordered.

"12" the Lexa said, sure of himself.

The Vlad shouted, "NO! F!"

"What?"

"That is an incorrect answer, Lexa. You fail."

"WHAT KIND OF TWisTED WORLD IS THIS?"

Sam jumped up shouting, "I know the answer! COOKIE!"

"Correct," said the Vlad.

"WHAT?" cried the Lexa. "I demand to see my lawyer! I –"

But the bell rang then, cutting off all his arguments.

"Guys," said Sam. "I have Orchestra next…With the shallow witch. I mean, Paulina. Are you guys coming?"

Everyone said something in the affirmative, including Elemia, who said "Something in the affirmative." Yes, those quotation marks are in the right spots.

Elemia turned to the only male in the whole group and said, "Lexa, I thought you were in band." But he did not answer, for he was staring at the Celia. (A/N: TT.TT poor Elemia)

"Whatever," said Sam, "Let's go."

Then, they walked down to Orchestra. No, they ran down! And Ralmal tripped a lot.

"You're late" said Mr. Cats, the orchestra director.

Celia whined, "But we're five minutes early!"

"Oh yeah, that's right, the Celia. Um…sit down."

Paulina sat down in Elemia's eat.

"Hey, you're in my seat!" Pausing for dramatic effect, Elemia added, "The heck?I am the Concert Master here!" (In Amazon East, Elemia was indeed the Concert Master.)

The Celia and Ralmal laughed out loud at Elemia's predicament.

Larie, not being musical, said "You are?"

The Lexa, ignoring all comments previously made, said, "OhmygoditsPaulina."

Paulina said, "the HECK?" and thus Elemia hated her more, because that was her phrase.

The Lexa, still stuck in his lala-land, said, "andtheCeliatoo…"

The Celia said, "say WHAT?" but Elemia didn't care, because it was the Celia's phrase, and the Celia had said it, so everything was good.

But Elemia was jealous, and many anime-style veins were popping out on her forehead.

"What is this murderous aura I feel?" said the Celia, backing away subconsciously from Elemia.

Mr. Cats, becoming impatient, ordered, "Sit down or I will make you play until your arms fall off!"

Everyone sat down promptly.

"Paulina, why don't you lead us in a heart-warming piece?" said Mr. Cats, having a strange bipolar moment.

Paulina, still sitting on the floor, said in a kiss-up, syrupy voice, "Sure, Mr. Cats."

She promptly played Twinkle, Twinkle, Litte Star.

Sam gagged.

Most people were silent.

Elemia said, "I think my ears are bleeding."

"YEAH! WOOHOO!" cheered Larie.

Mr. Cats wiped tears from his eyes and said, "That was so beautiful," before turning to blow his nose. On his tie. 'Twas gross.

Ralmal said, "WHAT? Well, I have something to say…GLOBS!"

There was a collective silence.

"Uh…right…" that was the Lexa.

"Elemia, what is wrong with you?" continued Ralmal.

"I did nothing!" Elemia cried out defensively.

"Suuuure…" Ralmal said, clearly sarcastic.

"Wiiiii!" cried Larie. Nobody could tell if she was happy, saying something beginning with the word 'we,' or naming the new Nintendo controller. I kid you not.

Ralmal turned to Paulina and asked, "Hey Paulina, wanna hang out with us?"

Everyone cried "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" dramatically…but it was too late…

…For Paulina chirped, "Okay!"

Everyone sighed pathetically.

Paulina said, "Hi, Sam," before standing up to sit next to said goth-girl. Elemia stole her chair while she was doing so. Elemia then did a happy dance…while seated.

"We're going to be best friends," Paulina continued.

Sam said, with creepy anime-style heart eyes, "I'd rather be with MY best friend…"

"What?" said Paulina, but received only Sam's nonchalant "Nothing…nothing…" for her trouble.

The bell then rang.

"Have a great day," Mr. Cats said, as the teens strolled out the door.

"It's time for homeroom," said the Celia, who did not run into anything or anyone as she walked down the hallway. Obviously she was using the force.

Ralmal said, "Mr. Cats' last sentence was completely unnecessary."

Elemia, ignoring all comments, said, "YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE CONCERT MASTER!"

"And you should know, because you only got there because of your solo." Ralmal commented.

"NOT HELPING!" cried Elemia. "Besides, I got there by my second audition, didn't I?"

"I wish I could see." Said the Celia.

"Paulina's piece was beautiful," said the Lexa, pretending that he knew what the heck he was talking about.

"Indeed," said Larie, who was deceiving herself in a similar way.

"Well, I say it sucked." Said Elemia, convinced she was right. "Anybody else?"

"Me," voted Ralmal.

Pushing glasses up, but failing miserably because of her lack of glasses, the Celia said, "Well, rather I thought her intonation was a bit flat and her shifting was a bit slow. Try it again, but with more intonation, and make it as legato as you can. Also, count precisely in your head. One-and-two-and, one-e-and-a two-e-and-a."

Everyone said, "…"

"That was MY line," said Mr. Cats.

Suddenly, everyone turned around to see said Orchestra teacher standing right behind them, only his face had fallen off, revealing a robotic interior, and his eye looked like a a camera.

"Didn't we…"

"…Just leave…"

"…orchestra?"

Those remarks came from Ralmal, Elemia, and the Celia, respectively…but with no respect toward Mr. Cats.

Middle of Story Random Omake:

Mr. Cats looked at them and said, "Good evening gentlemen. All your base are belong to us. You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha."

Elemia was amused by this, having recently (and belatedly) discovering the All Your Base phenomenon. But everybody else ran away.

This never happened, 'tis an extra scene...that comes back later.

Having reached homeroom, Elemia said excitedly, "Who's in our class?"

A blond-haired teen with abnormally large shoulders said "ME!" and upon seeing Larie said, "I loooooooove you."

"Who are you?" said Larie.

"I am Da Dash. I am a lovely blond jock who just failed my spelling test. I spelled cat wrong. I spelled it K-A-T. What's wrong with that?"

The Lexa said, "The K is supposed to be a C."

"I don't even know who you are and I still don't like you." Said Da Dash, cracking his knuckles menacingly.

"Dash," said Ralmal, "as much as it pains me to say this, wanna hang with us?"

"Only if Larie will be there," he said, his eyes turning into hearts (not to be confused with the heart-shaped anime-style eyes, of course).

"Who are you?" said Larie.

But then the bell rang, and nobody cared.

"I can't see! I can't see! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" said the eyeless girl (the Celia). She tripped and fell on her face and Elemia stepped on her on her way out the door.

"Uh…ooops, said Elemia. "Next-stop, Spanish! Español rocks my socks off!"

Sam, tired of having no dialogue, said, "You've all forgotten me, haven't you?"

"Sorry but we are too bubbly – " (Elemia)

"and eyeless – " (the Celia)

"and bored – " (Ralmal)

"and smart – " (the Lexa)

"and speshul – " (Da Dash)

"and almost flawless – " (Paulina)

"and athletic –" (Larie)

"To care about whatever's going on with you." (everyone, in unison.)

"Well, I'll go hang out with Danny then…" said Sam sadly.

"Oh Em Gee, Danny?" said the Lexa, "Is he cute?" his eyes then turned to hearts. (A/N: just a reminder, the Lexa is male.)

Elemia said, "Proving, once again, that he is the ultimate fangirl."

The Celia said, "What is that?"

Elemia said, "What is that?"

Ralmal said, "What is that? What is wrong with you?"

The Celia said, "Say WHAT?"

Da Dash said, "Uh…I can't spell wath…whet?...wait…"

"Am I the only smart one here?" said the Lexa.

"Noo, I'm smart too!" replyed Ralmal.

"Riiiight." The Lexa said, with no limit to the mockery.

"SHUT UP, YOU!" she cried, strangling him. Hell hath no fury as a women scorned.

Sam said, "We can prove this. What is the Pythagorean theorem?"

Ralmal then said, "B squared plus A squared equals C squared."

"I can say it better…A squared plus B squared equals C squared." He said.

"I'm sorry to say this, Lexa," said Sam, "but Ralmal is right."

"YES!" cried Ralmal.

"But it's the same," he whimpered.

Then, it was time for the daily announcements.

"I will destroy anyone who is not from Amity Park…Mwahahahaha……have a great day." Said the mysterious voice.

There was silence in the homeroom.

"We should probably go to Spanish," said Sam.

"Who was that?" inquired Ralmal.

Sam said, "I'll tell you later."

-

In Spanish:

"Why is Jazz the teacher?" asked Larie.

"Because I'm smarter than the teacher," said Danny Phantom's older sister. "Everyone, take out your textbooks and conjugate the verbs on pages 45-67 in both present-tense and the preiterate."

Everyone cried, "WHAT?"

"I like her…" said the Lexa, his eyes turning into hearts.

"Who are you?" asked Jazz.

Ralmal said, a crazed glint in her eye, "You are my idol…Give me your brain."

"Um…how about…NO."

"Wanna hang with us, then?"

"I'll join you guys later. I'm teaching AP Calculus after this."

There was a collective silence…which was broken by the Lexa, who said, "Everyone, please meet my future wife."

Elemia shouted, "Shut up!" jealously, while strangling him with the remains of the Celia's hair tie.

The bell rang, yet again.

"Okay, Sam," said Larie. "Tell us, who was that on the intercom?"

Sam, her eyes darting about suspiciously, said, "It was…Danny."

:Collective Gasp:

A/N: Oh, yes, a randomly placed cliffhanger. But it matters not, because nobody reads this story and reviews:sob: Mean you are to me!