Last time on LGG:

"Well, whatever you say... everything's about you, after all." Hermione gave a nod.

"Agreed. Now, for our lovely trio of trendsetters... I think I know just the thing. And, good news is, it's already prepared."

"I'm intrigued. Do tell."

"Well," Hermione started, "Remember that potion I was making for Harry and Ron?" Draco thought for a moment, then a smirk crept onto his face.

"Indeed."

~*~*~*~

CHAPTER THIRTY SIX: Cat Fight

Lavender Brown walked speedily through the halls of Hogwarts, searching for... well, anyone who might lead her to the whereabouts of her best friend. As luck would have it, Parvarti Patil was the first to make their way into her line of vision, as she read through a Witch Weekly and tried to charm her hair shiny.

"Parv! You'll never guess what I found out!" Parvarti, startled, looked up to see Lavender running toward her at full speed.

"What? Ooh, gossip? Tell me, tell me!" Lavender stepped up to her friend and whispered the news of the prefect engagement into her ear. "No... way..." She nodded exaggeratedly. "This is too good... who should we tell first?"

"Well, see... thing is... Ronnikins doesn't want them together... and what's the perfect way to break up a couple?" Parvarti nodded, smirking.

"Ex's..." Lavender grinned.

"Yep. I think we need to make a little stop at the Slytherin Common room." Both girls giggled and started off down the hall, although it was mere moments before Parvarti stopped. "What?"

"Do we know where the Slytherin common room... is?" Lavender bit her lip.

"Drat..." she mumbled, then shrugged. "Maybe Harry knows... he is Head Boy... and I bet he'd love our plan."

"Ooh, I can't wait!"

~*~*~*~

Hermione, who was pacing across the mini-common room while she waited for her potion to reheat, suddenly stopped in her tracks, face dropped.

"Draco," she said softly and he looked up from the essay he was proofreading.

"Hm?"

"I've just thought of something..." He gave a nod.

"Yes... and?"

"Well... Harry knows about us... which means he'll tell Ron... and Ron will tell Lavender... and... Lavender will tell EVERYONE."

"And... your point? What does it really matter who knows?" Hermione bit her lip, shaking her head.

"I guess you're right... but I dunno... is that really a good thing?" Draco shrugged slightly.

"I guess not... but I don't think it's really a very bad thing. Hm... I kind of like the idea of telling the world." Hermione gave him a brief smile, and went back to pacing, but it wasn't thirty seconds before a sharp 'Ting!' rang through the room. "It's done?" Draco asked and Hermione nodded, smirking.

"Oh, you bet it's done. Now... where to hide it... oh, yes... perfect," she mumbled to herself, then disappeared into her room, coming out with three unopened bottles of expensive lotions. For as long as she could remember, Ginny had given her hoards or lotions and creams, trying to make her more 'feminine'. Oh, how she would regret that.

Draco watched impassively as Hermione opened each bottle, poured in a good few drops, and magically resealed them, shaking the potion into the mix. She looked quite smug as she summoned three school owls, who came bounding through the window only moments later, and sent the bottles off with each. Clapping her hands together as if they were dusty, Hermione smirked quite broadly and started toward Draco, who set aside his near perfect essay.

"What exactly does it do, again?" he asked, and Hermione gave him a pouty look.

"Didn't I tell you?" she questioned as she settled herself on his lap, and Draco smiled.

"Probably." Hermione smirked.

"Basically? They'll get severe acne wherever they test out their free samples. And, the best part is, they'll think it's an allergic reaction or something... but it'll last three weeks." Draco nodded, keeping a poker face as Hermione crept her fingers up his chest and began undoing his tie.

"Smart," he complimented, and Hermione smiled.

"Thank you." She spoke softly, leaving just enough time to slowly inhale before pressing her lips to his. Draco wasted no time before he responded.

~*~*~*~

Hermione was not surprised to see that she got quite a few glances as she toddled from one class to another, hand in hand with Draco. News such as theirs in a school like Hogwarts traveled like wildfire. It did please her, however, to see that Lavender, Ginny, Hannah, Padma and Parvarti were all missing in action. She smirked to herself. Lavender must have shared.

The couple received no more than looks for most of the day and it was afternoon that anyone decided to speak to them. Unsurprisingly, it was Pansy who cornered Hermione as she waited for Draco outside DADA.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" she asked, stomping right up to the prefect with fiery eyes. Hermione, startled, turned to her.

"Why, hello, Pansy. How've you been?" With a snort-like laugh, Pansy slapped Hermione hard. An explosion of pain burned across her cheek, so severe Hermione dropped all her books on the ground and clutched her face. It seemed the contact, which was ironically on her left side (damn the surplus of right-handed people), had nullified the charm Narcissa had used and added Pansy's slap to Lucius'. Hermione looked up at her attacker, who stood straight and pointedly, with watery eyes. "Bitch..." she hissed. "You will pay for that." Pansy laughed.

"Oh, you think I'm finished with you?" Pansy asked before backhanding her foe on the other side. At this, Hermione only let a muffled hum suggesting she felt any pain. It was nowhere near as fierce as her other side. She did, however, move her right hand to hold her right cheek, allowing her left hand to be completely visible... including her ring. Pansy glared and wretched her hand away. "Give me that. It rightfully belongs to me," she stated, pulling the ring from Hermione's finger and trying her best to slip it on her own, which was much less feminine and thin. Satisfied with passing it beyond the first knuckle, Pansy crossed her arms, as if in victory.

"You sure as hell better give that back to me," Hermione demanded, ignoring the pain in her jaw with each word she spoke, and started to advance on her assailant. Pansy laughed.

"Make me." Taking that as an open invitation, Hermione pounced on Pansy, who was unfortunately standing in front of a staircase. Together, they rolled down one flight and, being stronger, Hermione ended up on top. She wasted no time before starting to strangle the girl below her, who wiggled about frantically, but was no such match for the Gryffindor. Hermione, in anger, clenched her teeth... which proved to be a big mistake. Her jaw popped, sending a splitting pain across her left cheek so white hot she was forced to remove her hands from Pansy to cradle her face. This gave the blonde the upper hand, and she rolled above Hermione, slapping her once more. Discovering that her left cheek seemed to be Hermione's Achilles heel, Pansy continued to inflict pain upon it, over and over, until she was finally stopped. By a livid Draco Malfoy. After taking a moments account of the situation, Draco grabbed Pansy's wrist, just as she reeled back to direct another punch, and pulled the girl off his girlfriend.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Pansy?" he screeched before moving to make sure Hermione was all right. He spoke softly, asking of her well being, and she gave a soft nod, holding her left cheek while the other was wet with silent tears. Assured that she was at least, for the time being, not in emergency condition, Draco helped Hermione up before turning to his housemate. Pansy didn't even cower. "You better start talking, Parkinson."

"I am just taking back what that bitch stole, Drakey. What is rightfully mine."

"I belong to no one," Draco countered, "Least of all you."

"But you DO, Malfoy, and I've got the papers to prove it. In eleven months time, whether you like it or not, we will be wed. Until then, I shall keep the statement that says so," she assured, lifting her left hand and wiggling her fingers. Draco narrowed his eyes and held out his hand.

"Give me that," he demanded, but Pansy clenched her fist and held it to her chest.

"No. It's mine. It was meant for me, I know it. You'll love me if I have to force it out of you." Draco, setting his jaw, took a step closer to her.

"Do not make me harm you, Parkinson. However unladylike you may seem, you are still a woman, and it would tarnish my record to have to use force, but I will, if necessary. Now, give. Me. That." Being that Draco was much taller and broader than Pansy, as well as much more capable of causing her great pain, she couldn't help but be intimidated.

"Fine," she agreed, however reluctantly, and, with unquestionable effort, slipped the ring from her finger and placed it in his hand. "But I'll write to my father. You won't get away with this." Draco smirked and leaned his face an inch or so closer.

"Watch me." Pansy, as she was so fond of doing, slapped him across the face and stormed back up the stairs, hand on her hip as if it pained her... which it very well might have. She had rolled down the stairs, after all. Once Pansy was gone, Draco returned to Hermione, who still wasn't speaking, and held a painless face as the tears rolled down her cheeks. Draco frowned, slipping the ring back on her finger. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, taking hold of her shoulders. Hermione shook her head, looking down, and Draco sighed. "I'll kill her... I will." Again, she shook her head. Deciding it wouldn't hurt to have one more day for their Unicorn project, Draco led Hermione to the hospital wing.

~*~*~*~

"Oh dear, now... what's happened?" Madam Pomfrey asked as she saw her favorite student enter her hospital in tears, escorted by a very grown up Draco Malfoy. She hadn't seen him since his third year... and he was much less of a scrawny nothing now... Madam Pomfrey, although a staff member, was very up to date on Hogwarts gossip, and knew all about their engagement. To be quite honest, she'd suspected it to be mere rumor... there was no way Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy would ever be more than classmates. Even friendship was preposterous.

"She was attacked," Draco provided, moving the hand on her back. Madam Pomfrey wasted no time getting Hermione onto a cot and beginning to examine her.

"By what, exactly?"

"Pansy Parkinson," Draco again provided, as Hermione didn't seem willing to speak at all. Pomfrey shook her head, continuing her work.

"Where does it hurt the most, love?" Hermione brought her fingertips to gently graze over her cheek, leaving a burning path in their wake. "And have you had injury here in the last fourteen days or so?" Hermione glanced to Draco, who just looked incredibly guilty, then nodded. "How long?"

"Eight days," Hermione forced out, looking as if speaking was very painful indeed, and trying to move her mouth as little as possible.

"Hm..." Pomfrey said, "And what happened at this time?"

"Attacked," Hermione said softly, and, to the lifted eyebrow of Pomfrey, "Ex-boyfriend." Hermione ignored the head spin she got from Draco, instead focusing on Madam Pomfrey. The nurse sighed and set a charm on her patient, which greatly eased Hermione's pain, and she sighed. "Thank you... that's much better."

"It's only temporary. I need to know exactly what happened." Hermione nodded softly. "How bad was this original injury."

"Like a black eye, but more here," Hermione said, gesturing to her face. "And much more painful." Pomfrey nodded.

"And who treated you?"

"Mrs. Narcissa Malfoy. She's qualified." Pomfrey nodded.

"Yes, I know. Now, tell me about this recent incident." It surprised Draco that Pomfrey didn't inquire about why Hermione might be in close vicinity to his mother, but he shrugged it off as professional courtesy.

"Well, the first time she hit me... it was like an explosion... much more pain than there should have been, by any means." Pomfrey nodded.

"I assumed as much. Magical medicine isn't entirely foolproof, Hermione... it takes a while to become permanent. While in most cases, one doesn't break their leg a second time within two weeks, so it isn't a problem. You simply didn't wait long enough to pick a fight," she stated with a wink, suggesting she didn't believe Hermione had started it at all. It didn't take a genius to figure out what it was probably about, in any means. After another simple charm, Pomfrey gave a nod. "You're free to go, just don't let anyone hit you for a while... or I daresay it'll be quite dreadful. I'll alert Professor Dumbledore of this fight as well." Hermione nodded, hopping down from the bed, and immediately taking Draco's hand.

"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey," she said, and started out, smiling up at her fiancé.

"Oh, and Miss Granger..." Hermione turned slightly. "Do come and visit me, won't you?" She smiled.

"I was planning on it, Madam Pomfrey."

~*~

Draco didn't take his eyes off Hermione for a very long time. She knew of this, of course, but let him alone for the majority. After a good five minutes, she couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" Hermione asked, smiling softly and looking up at Draco, who was wearing an expressionless face.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She nodded, squeezing his hand slightly.

"I'm fine, Draco, honestly. Madam Pomfrey knows what she's doing," Hermione answered, but it didn't seem to ease Draco in the slightest.

"Why did you lie?" Hermione looked confused.

"To who?"

"Pomfrey. About Lucius." She gave half a smile.

"She knows about Ewan, of course; I had to have some sort of doctor... and she knows what happened to him, except that I just told her the father did it, to save myself the aggravation of explaining the whole situation and making her think poorly of me. It just seemed logical that I could blame it on Froth, whom she couldn't do anything to, than tell her it was Lucius... whom she could get in trouble." Draco nodded softly.

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are, but none of it was your fault, so stop feeling guilty. Or I'll have to kick you," she mocked, gaining a smirk from her boyfriend, but it only lasted a moment.

"Pansy was my fault."

"How do you figure?"

"Well, the fight was about me, wasn't it?" Hermione nodded.

"I'll grant you that, but is it your fault you were betrothed to an obsessive, misguided, psychopathic bitch? No. And, it's not like it wasn't expected." Draco looked surprised.

"I didn't expect it," he admitted, and Hermione laughed.

"Really? Well, I guess that says something about you then, doesn't it?" Ignoring this comment, which was given with a smirk, Draco continued in his questioning.

"So what was that about coming back for a... visit?" he asked, "Who visits the hospital wing?"

"Me," Hermione answered, "In third or forth year, I made up my mind that I wanted to be a Medi-witch... and I spent all spare time not used up in the library, in the hospital. I stopped really believing I would be one when I got pregnant... but now I'm baby-less and I have no idea what I'm going to do," she thought out loud, eyes trained on the ground. "Narcissa thinks I should pursue the field... but I just don't know. How many people actually grow up to live their dreams, anyway? I never dreamt I'd have a baby under my belt and be engaged at seventeen."

"But I bet you dreamt of a Prince Charming... and look how that turned out," Draco stated, trying to cheer her up. It seemed to work, as Hermione laughed out loud.

"Yes, yes..." She sighed, "But elsewise... what do you think?"

"I think you should do whatever makes you happy, and that doesn't mean let Mum and Pomfrey influence you. Whatever you want is fine with me." Hermione looked up at him as if completely amazed, but Draco was looking ahead as if his words were trite and commonplace.

"You mean it?" He looked surprised, moving his gaze back to her eyes.

"Of course." She shook her head slowly.

"That has got to be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me," Hermione mused, eyes turning back ahead, and Draco laughed, placing a kiss on her temple.

"What about I love you?" Hermione giggled.

"Oh yes... that was nice too."

~*~*~*~

"Hey!" called a voice, stopping Ron in his tracks. He was on his way back from the library, where he'd been sent by Harry to spy on Granger while he checked his dormitories. It had never crossed Ron's mind that it was more likely Harry was checking for Hannah than Hermione. "Weasley!" called the voice again, and Ron looked around, searching for its source. There was a frustrated sigh from somewhere to his left, and moments later, Pansy Parkinson stepped into the light, coming toward him. "Are you blind?"

"Sorry..." he said, quite confused, but it was soon to get worse. When Pansy was close enough, she kissed him full on the lips. Ron, although surprised, wasted no time in savoring the little miracle the porn god had bestowed upon him. When they broke away, Ron was breathing raggedly and Pansy smirked.

"Bet you liked that, didn't you?" Ron could do nothing but nod his head, much like a dog. "Bet you'd like a little more, hm?" Again, he nodded, this time coming in as if to kiss her again. "Op, bop, bop, bop... not so fast." He gave a strangled groan.

"How much?" Pansy, although pleased with his offer, shook her head.

"I'll give you a freebee on one condition," she stated and Ron's ears perked up. "I have to take pictures." Ron laughed.

"Hell, that's fine with me," he agreed, lunging again, but Pansy stopped him.

"I think you're missing the point here. Don't you even want to know why?"

"Not particularly." Pansy sighed.

"I think you should know, just so you don't get the wrong impression. I have devised a plan to get Drakey back from Gran-whore and I need this to help." Ron looked slightly confused.

"Alright... can I ask you something?" Pansy looked up, as if bored. "Why not Harry?" She laughed.

"I wouldn't sleep with Wonder boy even IF you paid me." This caused a smug grin to spread across Ron's lips.

"You find me more desirable than Harry?" Pansy was about to laugh and say something along the lines of 'hardly'... but something made her look Ron over. He really wasn't all that bad... and, complimenting could put him under her control... yes...

"Oh, very much so..." she replied seductively, taking a step forward and running a finger down his cheek. "Meet me in the Astronomy tower... I have detention until ten, so... how about midnight tonight..." Ron visibly swallowed and nodded. Pansy smiled. "There's a good Gryffindor," she said, followed by a sultry kiss to his pouty lips. When they broke apart this time, Ron questioned her.

"What was that for?" She smiled, bringing her lips close to his ear.

"Insurance."

~*~

A/N This fic is going to hell, isn't it? I just keep adding crap in... and it doesn't fit... and it sounds stupid... Someone, just shoot me now. Or burn this manuscript. Something. Please. It was so good at the beginning, too... :o(

Fanfiction is being an arse and not letting me on, so whenever it decides to get back up, I'm not going to waste time on PRFs.