To Choose Cake Over Sanity

by Nekohime Kitsuya

A group of OCs travel to Danny Phantom's world in order to destroy him...and THEN, all randomness breaks loose. AU, OCs, language, violence, Crackfic, egostabbing, pairings except for DS shifted every so often. DannySam.

13. Previously Bubbly and GREEN!

(EA/N: This one's for you, Dana. Stop bugging me.)

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Pre-story Omake:

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Elemia. She had a GINOURMOUSLY HUGE GARGANTUAN BIG crush on a boy named the Lexa.

One day, Elemia's friends decided to go to an amusement park named Six Flags. The Lexa was invited. Elemia refused to go on certain roller coasters because she is afraid of heights. The Lexa and Elemia's friends dragged and/or pushed her onto many rides. Elemia swore revenge.

Later, having evaluated the day, Elemia realized she sounded like a total wuss. Elemia was sad.

Then, Elemia remembered that after going on a water ride, she saw the Lexa shirtless. Elemia felt better.

Then, Elemia remembered that she had numerous pictures of the Lexa. Elemia felt better.

THEN, Elemia remembered that the Lexa was going to get a screenname. Elemia felt better. Then, Ralmal made fun of Elemia. Elemia was sad.

EDIT:

Two months after this omake was written, the Lexa actually did get a screenname…but Elemia did not IM him.

More EDITS:

After a while, Elemia did IM him, but only because she had to. And he was being a bigger ass than usual. Elemia told him so.

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Title: Previously Bubbly and GREEN

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Disclaimer: I own nothing in this fic except half of the plot. However, with that half comes goddess-like powers...Dance, puppets, dance!
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Previously…

"Maybe I should paint myself green….." said the Cats.

The Fiyerio gasped. "Please don't……that would disturb me in so many different ways."

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Now…..

"Deal with it," said the Cats.

"Hey, that's MY line," said the Ralmal.

"I love you, Lexa," said the Elemia happily.

Silence.

Everyone was staring at the Lexa.

"What?" he said. "Do I have something stuck in my teeth?"

"Yes" said the imaginary Celia, shielding her imaginary eyes.

"Clueless-yet beautiful" muttered the Elemia.

"Beautiful?" muttered the Salad.

"CLUELESSLY beautiful" corrected the Elemia.

"Well, the back of his head is," observed the Celia. Actually, the tape recording of her voice. The Celia had been missing for quite some time.

"This is more disturbing than the Cats becoming green……" muttered the Fiyerio.

"WHY are we muttering?" muttered the Ralmal.

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"I've done it!" yelled the Cats. "I have become GREEN!"

"YES!" cried the Wicked. Upon seeing Fiyerio's face filled with disdain, she muttered "Oh no…." without much enthusiasm.

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A few awkward moments later…..

"Where is the Celia?" Jake Long cried randomly.

Everyone shrugged.

"I think she's with the goat," said the Elemia.

The Jake Long sighed. "AGAIN?" He grabbed Elemia's baseball bat and head out for the goat's den.

"Baaaaaa...?" someone, or some goat, cried, following by screams of terror.

"OW THAT HURTS! AHHHHHH!"

Jake's voice could be heard throughout the campus, following silence.

All of a sudden, a great big fluffy blob appeared out of nowhere and landed on Andrew's head.

"Ow," is all he could muster.

And just like that, the blob became………..

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………THE PRINCIPAL!

"NO!" everyone cried.

"What do you want, Noto?" said Ralmal regrettably. She was still ticked that the Principal and fired her from the previous matchmaking job, even though she has a very successful business of her own, and the principal has………..a pigeon. She couldn't afford a flying monkey.

"I have brought my smartified device with me because I want to rub my evil intelligence in your puny little adolescent faces!" said the Principal.

"Your pigeon died, didn't it?" asked the Ralmal.

"No….there's nothing on TV." The Principal coughed. The Ralmal chose this moment to go to the little girl's room (important later), which was too far away from what was happening with the Principal.

"ANYWAYS, this device will make all of you yapping youngsters fall for the wrong people! Ay Kay Ay the first person you touch! AHAHAHAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

There was a silence. The Principal coughed again.

"Are you sick?" a muffled voice said. It was Andrew, and he was still being squished by the Principal's hynay.

Ignoring the 6.66666 repeating GPA boy, (EA/N: That number look like anything ominous to anybody else or is it just me?) she said, "This is the part where you all scream like girls and run around randomly." The Principal informed.

"Oh, okay." Said the Lexa. With that being said, the guys started running around in circles and screaming in high pitched shrilly voices, while the girls watched and covered their girlified ears. Even Elemia was slightly amused.

"What is THAT?" said the tape recording of the Celia. With that being said, the Principal blasted everyone with the device.

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By The Way….

The REAL Celia walked in arguing with a beat-up and very badly bruised Jake Long JUST as the Principal blasted everyone.

"I TOLD you, Jakey" said the Celia. "Weekends are WITH the goat!"

"I don't want my girlfriend cheating on me ANY day of the week!" Jake complained. What a babbling black-eyed baby.

What IS that?

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Okay then……

Ralmal chose this moment to return from the little girl's room, having missed out on everything. This is what she saw:

Salad was feeding Jake Long spinach puffs.

Larie was break-dancing with Guan. They broke every piece of furniture in Salad's house.

The Celia was cheering for Dash in a short cheerleader outfit as he pumped air into footballs and did pueruettes in a pink tutu he borrowed from Paulina.

Tucker was giving Paulina a foot rub, putting cucumbers on her eyes (and eating them himself. The cucumbers, not the eyes.) clipping her toenails, and painting her nails pink.

Annie was making a shirt that says 'mindless and careless' for the Lexa and a shirt that says 'i'm with mindless and careless' for herself. Lexa was peeling potatoes randomly.

Sam was gothing up the ever so preppy and ASIAN Andrew by dying his hair black while Andrew silently screamed for help. (EA/N: His hair is already black...logic error!)

Elemia was throwing pretty PINK flowers at Danny. While he caught them and ate them. (She prefers to be fluffy AND violent. And he prefers to be weird. And idiotic.)

The Wicked was painting the Cats' nails green. No, not green, FOREST green. There's a difference.

The Glinda was putting pink daisies in the Scarecrow's head and toss-tossing.

The Principal was taking pictures of everyone so she could use them for blackmail later.

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Ralmal was speechless. The Principal even got a pic of Ralmal being speechless.

"Honey," Larie said in a robotic-monotonic voice to Guan. "We broke Salad's last piece of furniture."

"Oh no," Guan replied, equally monotonic. "Whatever shall we do?"

"I love the puffs stuffed with spinach, Salad," Jake Long commented, again, monotoniously.

"Go Dash Go." Celia said without much enthusiasm. I would even have to say that she said that monotoniously.

"A little to the left Tuckery please" Paulina said monotonically. Now you know something's wrong-Paulina's using her manners.

"Here are our potatoes for our romantic evening, my love." The Lexa said to Annie robotically.

"You look great in black," Sam said to the Andrew, obviously, monotonically. "It brings out your eyes."

"All Asians have black eyes." Andrew commented. He was zapped by the Principal for his notorious comment.

"I mean-thank you so much for that breathtaking compliment."

"The flowers. They burn." Commented the Danny.

ZAP!

"Are you alright my little halfa?" Asked the Elemia.

"Yes. I mean, the flowers. They delight me. A lot."

"That's better." Said the Principal happily.

"OH MY GOSH! THE LEXA IS SO ADORABLE!" cried the Elemia happily.

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

"I mean-Danny you are so cute and ever so wonderful." She said monotoniously.

"That's nice to hear." Danny said, bored.

"Did you hear something my love?" asked the Lexa.

"No my precious Lexa, it was probably the wind." Replied the Annie.

"I love the green" commented the Cats (a/n: unless I say so, the people are talking like robots. Because remember-they are under spells….unless they get paired with who they are supposed to be paired with. Confusing? Deal with it. Now-ON WITH IT!)

"You better." Said the Wicked….uhh…wickedly.

ZAAAAPP!

"I mean-I'm glad you do my little Catsikins." She said, wincing.

"I…….love……the……flowers…….in……..my………head." said Fiyerio.

ZAP!

"What was THAT for?" he shouted monotoniously.

"I just felt like zapping you," replied the Principal.

"WHY?"

But sadly, the Principal was all "IGNORE!"

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"NO!" cried the Ralmal. "This is so wrong! GAAAAHHHHH!" She attacked the Principal and they wrestled on the ground. My lack of wrestling moves disables me to describe the fight. Use your imagination.

"Tell me what I have to do to cure them!" cried Ralmal.

"NEVER!" cried the Principal. The Ralmal punched the Principal in the stomach. This gave her time to get the machine and randomly press buttons, do an Irish jig, and continue pressing buttons.

"THIS ISN'T DOING ANYTHING!" Ralmal cried. She was knocked down by the Principal. Ralmal crawled on the floor slowly.

Then the Principal ripped off her boring-Principal-style clothes to reveal a silver midrift, silver micromini, silver highstockings, silver high heels, and a silver wig. Heck-the whole getup was silver.

And disturbing.

"MIS OJOS!" cried Ralmal, translating to "MY EYES!"

"Ohmygosh I think my eyes are bleeding!" said the Elemia.

The Principal grabbed the machine and zapped everyone again, Ralmal included.

Everyone collectively gasped. RALMAL WAS HIT!

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A couple gasps later…..

Ralmal was unaware of what the blast did. Remember, she was in the little girl's room. For those of you who forgot-shame on you and your short attention spans.

Ralmal jumped up. "GUYS! SNAP OUT OF IT!" She ran around in circles a little crazily. She snapped her fingers in front of Elemia's face.

"ELEMIA! REMEMBER YOU LOVE THE LEXA!" She grabbed Danny's shoulders (IMPORTANT) and started shaking him. "AND YOU! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOVE THE ELEMIA, YOU'RE SUPPOS….." She stopped in mid-supposed. The spell had taken over.

"I love you Danny" said Ralmal monotoniously.

Collective Gasp!

"I love you too Ralmal," said the Danny, bored.

Da da da dun…………..

For once, no one told Lexa to shut up. They were all trying to run to the ones they loved so they could touch them.

"Whoah….." said the narrarator. "Where did THAT come from?"

"You sicko!" shouted Elemia.

"I love you Danny," repeated Ralmal, her eyes blank. "And it's okay that stuff grows under your bed."

"Thanks….wait, how did you know about that?" asked Danny.

Ralmal shifted her blank expressionless eyes. "I didn't….."

Meanwhile, everyone was in a pile trying to reach the person they loved….but many could not succeed. Sadly, Sam had nowhere to run. Poor Sam.

Eventually, this is what happened with everyone else:

Guan stepped on Elemia's arm.

Celia followed the back of Lexa's "gorgeous" head and was bumped into him by the Guan. (RA/N: No, she's not paired with Guan. Guan already touched Elemia. For all of you people smart enough to catch that-good for you! You're not completely stupid!) (EA/N: That was mean, Ralmal...I didn't get it...sniffle...

The Salad stepped on Dash's face, which was face-down on the ground.

The Andrew bumped into Larie and Larie bumped into Andrew. Ouch.

Annie stepped on Jake Long's eye. His left one, not the right one.

Tucker bumped into Sam because he was knocked over by Paulina's big mole. (The mole isn't cool enough to pass for a body part. By the way, Moles Are Hot!)

The adults were smart enough to not to jump into the pile of people. They simply poked each other slightly. The Wicked poked the Scarecrow and the Glinda poked the Cats. The Cats and the Scarecrow poked themselves. Duh.

"I love you……" everyone cried monotoniously and unanimously. I must say, this is very hard to do.

"Hey! I am left with no one!" cried Paulina. "This isn't fair!"

"I'll be with you Paulina," the Principal said.

The Paulina eyed her up and down. "Um, no thanks."

"Fine then you can be my new assistant."

"Do I get paid?"

"No."

"Okay."

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"Okay everyone, line up next to your pairing and march with me and Paulina to the pool!" everyone under the spell followed. The adults snuck off and jumped in the Principal's car and sped off somewhere. This is irrelevant, so I will continue with Paulina and the rest of the spellbound gang.

"I still want to be paired with someone!" Paulina cried. "I need someone to constantly tell me I'm beautiful!"

"Don't get your hopes up Paulina" said Elemia. "No one's that lonely."

"And desperate!" added Ralmal.

The Principal held up a mirror.

"OH my GOSH!" cried Paulina, touching the mirror. "Who's THIS beautiful face?" She continued modeling in front of the mirror, while Elemia and Ralmal gagged.

"Wow my two best friends got together" commented Danny monotonously. "Didn't see that coming." Ralmal blinked.

"Wait-NO THAT WASN'T SUPPSOSED TO HAPPEN!" she cried, being the crazy DxS fan that she is. She was zapped a very long time by the Principal. Paulina was too busy admiring herself in the mirror to take notice.

"Ow….." said Ralmal. She started crawling on the floor.

"Are you all right my love." Asked Danny in a bored expression.

"Leave me alone you…"

ZAP!

"GAAAAAHHH!" cried Ralmal. "That flippin' HURTS!" She curled up in a ball, wincing. Poor Ralmal.

"Danny…." Elemia said randomly. She was zapped and followed Ralmal's example and curled up into a ball. Except it was an ASIAN ball.

"Aren't you supposed to love me." Asked the Guan.

"You are hotttttt…." Said the Elemia. "With an infinite number of T's!"

"Excellent…." Whispered the Principal. She and Paulina did an evil laugh. They weren't very good at it, because everyone laughed at them instead of cowering in fear.

"Ralmal…….wake up……." Said the Danny. "She is not functioning. Someone get me a bucket of ice cold water."

"NOO!" cried the Principal. Before anyone could stop him, the Danny poured water on Ralmal.

The Ralmal opened her eyes. "Danny you idiot-that water's flippin' COLD!" She then proceeded to beat up Danny. Poor Danny. She even threw him in the pool.

"AKH! COLD! Salad, how cold is your pool?" he cried.

"The same temperature as the Principal's heart."

ZAP!

"OW……..!" cried the Salad.

Randomly, Tucker threw Sam in the pool.

"TUCKER YOU IDIOT!" she cried. "WHAT WAS THAT?"

"MY line," Ralmal said shivering.

"What? Ralmal was doing it!" Tucker protested.

Everyone picked up their paired up fake pairing and was about to throw them in the pool when-

-the Principal blew her whistle. LOUDLY.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I THINK MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!" cried the Elemia.

"ALL OF YOU, to your rooms!" the Principal cried.

"Hey, it's MY house," commented the Salad.

"Deal with it."

"My…….. shiver …….LINE….. shiver ……." Shivered the Ralmal.

"Here my love. Take my coat." Said the Danny, putting his coat on Ralmal.

The Ralmal stared at him. "The spell is OVER you idiot."

The Danny shifted his eyes. "Yeah….I knew that…."

Elemia stabbed out his eyes.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOT AGAIN!"

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Nighttime…………Ralmal's room

The Ralmal was drying her hair.

"KEEP IT DOWN!" cried the Tucker from the room next door. "I'm TRYING to catch up on my beauty sleep!"

The Ralmal kicked the wall. "All the sleep in the WORLD won't help you."

There was a silence.

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Twenty-one minutes later…..

"HEY!" Tucker protested, finally getting the diss.

Ralmal ignored him.

Tucker continued protesting.

Ralmal knocked on Tucker's door.

Tucker opened the door.

Ralmal slapped him.

Tucker closed the door.

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Randomly……

"OHMYGOSH! HIS NECK IS GLOWING!" cried the Lexa fangirls. In other words, Elemia.

She was blasted by the Principal for checking out the Lexa's neck.

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Wow…….ANYWAYS…….

Ralmal knocked on Danny's door.

"Danny open the door." She said. Getting no response, she just walked in.

How rude.

Danny was staring out his window with a totally MUSHY dreamy look on his face.

Ralmal snickered. "What, dreaming about Tucker again?"

Danny snapped out of his trance. "NO….." he said while shifting his eyes.

"Wait, didn't Elemia poke your eyes out?"

Silence.

"ANYWAYS………..I brought back your coat." Ralmal remarked randomly. "Oh and by the way, that whole thing with you and me-it never happened. Bring it up and I will chop off your arm."

Danny cowered in fear in a corner. "Um, okay……."

"So………" Ralmal said mischievously. "What were you thinking about if not Tucker?"

"WHY do you assume I'm thinking about Sam all the time?"
Ralmal lifted an eyebrow. "I never said you were."

Danny shifted his eyes. HOW he did without eyes is still a mystery. "Uh……..riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight."

"Why don't you go outside….." Ralmal suggested. "She's alone by the pool."

"How did she get passed the Paulincipal (Paulina+Principal for you slow people) sushi force field?" Danny asked, amazed.

Ralmal stared at him blankly. "She used her ghost powers……."

"Ohhhh…" he said. "Then how do I get passed it?"

Ralmal started banging her head against the wall. "See, THIS is why we can NEVER mention the spell to ANYONE. No one will give me respect if they thought I liked an idiot."

"What are you trying to say?" asked Danny sadly. "Are you breaking up with me?" He started crying and reached for his rather PINK and queer hanky.

"I rest my case." Ralmal remarked, randomly rolling her eyes.

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Randomly, once again……

"Who is HE?" Annie said, pointing to the Jake Long. This is sad because this is the boy she is supposed to be in love with according to the Principal.

The Jake Long started rapping. "J to the A to the K to the E...i'm the mack daddy dragon of NYC...ya heard?"
The Elemia narrowed her eyes. "WIT?"

BTW, the Principal was too busy snoring too zap anyone. And Paulina was too vain to wake up the Principal. She kept looking at the mirror and kissing it. Seriously, it was on the verge of breaking.

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Outside, by the pool………

Sam was walking along the edge of pool, thinking about Danny, NOT Tucker. She didn't notice Danny and Ralmal behind the tree, watching her.

"Okay, GO!" Ralmal said as she pushed Danny.

"Stop hitting me!" Danny cried. They had a Cats fight.

"Cats?" Cats said randomly.

"NO…….." Ralmal said. "Cats…..there's a difference!"

"Okay!" he said enthusiastically, oblivious to the stupidity of it all.

"Hey, when did you get here?" Danny asked.

"We went to the gas station!" cried Glinda, ignoring Danny's question. "IT WAS AWESOME! The best date of my life!"

Silence.

"You REALLY don't get out much do you?" asked Ralmal.

"What are you talking about?" cried Glinda. "I am pop-U-LAR!"

Silence.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight…." Said Ralmal.

"When I was with Fiyero, he never took me anywhere…I'm GLAD he cheated on me!" Glinda said triumphly.

"No you're not." Ralmal commented bluntly. Glinda gladly glared at her. Ralmal sheepishly smiled sweetly.

"Okay, I'm going!" cried Danny. He started walking behind Sam. Sam was too DENSE to figure out that he was right behind her.

"Oh Danny-I no longer love Tucker! I love you and always will! I'm sorry I say you're an idiot-even if you are."

Ralmal was laughing behind the tree, along with Glinda and the Cats.

The Sam continued. "Oh Danny, I wish we could be together! I wish we could just run away and NOT bring Tucker!"

"This is getting really cheesy." Said the Cats.

"SHHHH!" cried Ralmal and the Glinda. The Cats shhhhed.

"I LOVE YOU DANNY!" Sam cried.

"I Take Thee At Thy Word!" Danny cried, TRYING to be hip and Elizabetheran.

It didn't work.

"AAGGHH!" Sam cried, once realizing Danny was right behind her. This caused them to fall into the pool.

The Ralmal was laughing. "That was AWESOME!" She and Glinda high-fived each other. Cats was filing his nails. Men-they have no emotions.

"You got THAT right," said the Elemia.

The Ralmal looked surprised. "When did you get here?"

The Elemia shifted her eyes. "Shhhh…." She said, darting her eyes back and forth.

"OkaAY then….."

"What was THAAAAT?" the two misfits cried. They stared at each other and started laughing.

"You're wet." said the Danny.

"You're hott." Said Sam.

The Danny fangirls walked in. Obviously, they were too stubborn and DENSE to figure out that Danny would never go out with one of them, even Lexa.

"Only 2 't's?" They cried. "Pathetic!"

Ralmal got a hose and hosed them down. They melted again.

Glinda shook her head. "Ralmal, it's not nice to melt people."

"B-b-but, they were blocking my view," protested Ralmal.

Suddenly, a conveniently placed orchestra pit popped out of nowhere, being led, of course, by the Cats.

"Isn't he dreeeeeeeeeamy when he conducts?" the Glinda said, uh, dreamily.

Ralmal glanced at the Cats. He was moving his arms like a chicken that had just caught bird flu. "Oh yeah…." Said the Ralmal sarcastically. "He's a keeper…."

Collective gag!

Of course, the orchestra pit means that singing is required! So on with it!

Sam:

Kiss me too fiercely
Hold me to tight
I need help believing
You're with me tonight
My wildest dreamings
Could not forsee
Lying beside you
With you wanting me!

And just for this moment
As long as you're mine.
I've lost all resistance
And crossed the border line
And if it turns out
It's over too fast.
I'll make every last moment last
As long as you're mine.

"Whoah" said Ralmal.

"Where is Lexa, I want him to see this!" cried Elemia.

"Hinting at something, Ele?" Ralmal asked. Elemia shifted her eyes.

Danny:
Maybe I'm brainless

Sam laughed. "I know I may call you brainless sometimes, but deep down, I know you're not! I WUV YOU DANNAY!"

"AWWW" said Ralmal. Danny continued singing.

Maybe I'm wise

Sam narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't push it." She said.

Danny, oblivious to the dissing, continued singing.

But you've got me seeing
through different eyes
Somehow I've fallen under your spell
And somehow I'm feeling
It's up that I fell.

"WHAT?" cried Elemia. Ralmal just shrugged.

Both:

Every moment as long as mine
I'll wake up my body
And make up for lost time
say there's no future
for us as a pair
and though i may know
I don't care!

'I don't care about a lot of things." Said Cats, still conducting. Everyone ignored him.

Just for this moment
As long as your mine
Come be how you want to
And see how bright we shine
Borrow the moonlight
Until it is through
And know I'll be here
Holding you-oo
as long as you're mine!

Randomly, Sam started cackling.

"WHOAH!" cried Elemia and Ralmal.

Danny shook her. "What is it?" he asked.

Sam's laugh subsided. "It's just, for the first time…I feel……WICKED!"

SPLASH!

All of a sudden, the Witch and the scarecrow popped out of nowhere. "Hey, that's MY line." Said the Witch. "It's what makes me who I am!"

"Why does that song sound familiar?" asked the Scarecrow densely. The Witch hit him with her broomstick that she had gotten back from the dead, I MEAN, unconscious Scout.

"OW!" he cried.

"You didn't even feel that! You're made out of straw!"

"Oh yeah…I forgot."

All of a sudden, everyone else from the house came along with the principal. She blew her whistle loudly. Danny and Sam surfaced and broke apart from their kiss, blushing like crazy. Ralmal was too busy hatching her plan to go "AWWW" or "WHOAH…." All of a sudden (this is the AWESOME plan guyz), the adults and Ralmal and Tucker threw everyone in the pool, including the principal.

"WHAAAAAAA?" cried everyone.

"I'm MELTING I'm MELTING!" cried the Principal.

"STOP TRYING TO BE LIKE ME!" cried the Witch.

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The Next Day…..

Everyone was sitting at the breakfast table, eating waffles and/or pancakes. Everyone was free from the spell, and they were free to love whoever they wanted. Except Paulina…she still loves herself….or maybe that isn't from the spell….no one will know for sure………

The Salad was passing out syrup to everyone. The Principal was sitting in the corner with a blanket covering her, and icepack on her hollow head, and her feet in a warm bucket filled with water. Salad dumped syrup on her head. (The principal's, not her own head.)

The principal was practically reduced to a puddle of tears. (What is up with puddles guyz…?) "Oh Salad….even YOU turned against me. And you never get mad at everyone!" The Principal let out a big boohoo.

"MMMM…" she said. "This syrup is good!"

Salad rolled her greenafied eyes. And headed back to the table. Everyone was staring at the one they loved. Salad was staring at Tucker, who was staring at Paulina, I MEAN, Salad. Paulina was staring into her compact mirror. The Elemia was staring at Lexa and Lexa……oh NO A GRAY HAIR!

"Ahem…" said Elemia.

"What?" the narrartor said, frazzled by his one strand of gray hair.

"ON WITH IT! I WANNA KNOW WHO HE LOVES!" cried Elemia. "YOU INSOLENT NO GOOD MAN!"

The narrartor started crying. At Elemia's screaming and his midlife crisis.

Elemia's eyes turned to its normal color. "Oh, I'm sorry, PLEASE forgive me! YOU KNOW ABOUT MY BIPOLOR ISSUES!"

"Okay, I'll sniff continue." Said the narrator.

The Celia was-

"NO, YOU LEFT OFF WITH LEXA!" cried Elemia.

The narrator slapped Elemia. "SHUT UP AND LET ME DO MY JOB!" he cried. He tied Elemia onto her chair and blindfolded her so she couldn't stare at the Lexa. She was on the nerve of dying, I'm telling you.

Anyways, Ralmal took this opportunity to steal waffles from everyone's plates and hide under the table to eat.

"MWAHAHAHA!" cried Ralmal. "Who needs 'love' anyways? I'm happy being single! In fact….." She jumped from underneath the table, causing everyone to jump and stare at the brown-haired Persian. She got up on the stage randomly and yes, conveniently placed next to Salad's stove. She didn't notice the hooded figure enter the room…..

"HIT IT TUCKER!" Ralmal cried, taking her travel-sized microphone out of her front pocket. Tucker hit PLAY on HIS travel-sized stereo and the music to "Single" by Natasha Bedingfield started playing. (Yes, Ralmal sings a lot of songs by the Bedingfield, but DEAL with it already!)

Ah yeah that's right
All you single people out there
This is for you

Everyone just blinked at her. The hooded figure raised his hooded hand, but Ralmal didn't notice. "Shame on all of you…" said Ralmal. She continued.

I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me
(Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)

"YES!" everyone cried. Ralmal glared at them but continued.

No I don't need another half to make me whole

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be

Ah yeah Uh Huh that's right

Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)

Guiltily, everyone shook off their pairings' arm and sank in his or her chair in shame and embarrassment. The hooded figure laughed.

I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

Everything in it's right time everything in it's right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way it's my way
Eh I like it this way

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't
'Til then I'm single

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

All of a sudden, the stove caught on fire. "AHHH!" Ralmal cried. She jumped off the stage and was about to hit the floor when the hooded figure caught her. Everyone huddled around.

"Are you alright, Ralmal?" asked Larie, the best friend.

"Do you want some pancakes?" asked Salad, the nicest one.

"Does this mean we're breaking up?" asked Danny, the stupid one.

Ralmal glared at him. "WE WERE NEVER TOGETHER!" she cried. She was still in the hooded figure's arms. "Um…..you can put me down now." She said, her face red. The hooded figure obeyed, equally red, even though no one could see under the hood.

"Um, thanks….who are you?" Ralmal asked. Everyone huddled around. "CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME SPACE?" asked Ralmal. Everyone huddled around closer.

"Hey, Ralmal! Don't you remember me?" said the hooded figure.

Ralmal gasped. "HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? STALKER!" She whipped out her baseball bat.

The hooded figure backed away. "Still as threatening as ever, huh, Ralmal?" he said.

Ralmal dropped her bat. "Guy X?" she asked, peering into the hooded face no one could see. The hooded figure nodded.

"OHMY GOSH! HIIIIIIIIIII!" Ralmal cried, hugging the figure.

Meanwhile, everyone was all "?"

"That's Guy X, Ralmal's best friend from kindergarten." Explained Danny. "He disappeared when he was in second grade and Ralmal hasn't heard from him since."

"I thought I was her best friend!" Larie cried.

"You still are." Said Ralmal.

"Uh, Danny, how do you know all that?" Elemia asked.

"I read her diary!" Danny cried proudly.

Everyone stared at him. Guy X glanced at him weirdly. Ralmal glared at him.

"Nice….." Sam said.

--------------------

"…….so that's why I decided to come back." Guy X said. All the girls were drooling by the time he was finished speaking. (No, we will never know why he came back, you can tell me if you know, because I don't). Even Ralmal was impressed, but she managed to remain drool-free.

"That was fascinating, Guy X!" cried Celia.

"HEY!" cried Jake Long.

"Totally cool!" cried Larie.

"HEY!" cried Da Dash.

"You're hot!" cried Paulina.

"HEEEY!" cried Andrew and Tucker.

Guy X stared at Paulina. "Um….thanks….I think." Ralmal rolled her eyes.

Paulina scooted closer to him. "Why don't you dump Ralmal and hang out with me instead?"

"We're not together!" Ralmal protested. Guy X just stared at the latina girl.

"I mean, I'm so pretty and Pop-UUUU-ler! I mean, LAR."

"Hey, MY line." Said Glinda.

Paulina ignored the toss-tossing blonde. "I'm a goddess!" She cried. By now, Andrew and Tucker were on the floor, fainting and drooling from the insanity from it all.

Finally, Guy X spoke. "It's not nice to lie, Paulina."

Everyone was silent.

"OH-OH-OH!" Ralmal cried. "Paulina got BURNED!"

After getting it, everyone else laughed. Ralmal high-fived Guy X. Guy X looked pleased. Paulina had a confused look on her face.

Tucker and Andrew woke up. "She IS a goddess!" they both cried.

Paulina jumped into Andrew's arms. "Oh thank you, sweetie!" she cried.

"What about me?" Tucker asked.

Paulina stared at him. "I don't know, what about you?"

"I don't know."

--------------------

My first omake…..Please don't hurt me…..I'm still not sure WHAT an omake IS..

"It's time for poetry! With the Ralmal and the Celia!" cried the Scarecrow.

The crickets started cricketing.

"Thank you thank you…please, hold your applause!" cried Celia.

Then, everyone started clapping.

"We wrote a Wicked sonnet in Creative Writing class! CUZ WE CAN!" cried Ralmal.

"It's called 'Something Wicked This Way Comes'" supplied the Celia.

"OR 'Look! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's WICKED!'" cried Ralmal.

"That's a long alternative title!" cried Elemia.

"YOU'RE a long alternative title!" said Paulina, who was trying to become a better disser to impress Guy X.

Elemia stared at her. "What?" she asked.

"SHHHHH…" said Guy X. "I'm trying to listen!"

Elemia smiled evilly. "You like her, don't you?"

"Who, Celia?"

"No, nitwit, Ralmal."

Guy X brought his hood closer to his face. "Nooooo……" he said, his face turning a shade of red not available in a box of Crayola.

"YEAH…whatever….." Elemia said. Heheh…. She thought. Sweet Sweet Revenge…..

"Elemia, stop thinking to yourself and listen!" Ralmal cried.

"Note: Neema is Ralmal's cousin. He takes pleasure in doing toss toss, it's kinda weird…..anyways, here we go!" cried Celia.

Our goal in this world is to wickafy

Many people like Larie the Groaner

Those like Neema should less Galindafy

Quick, the Larie would soon be a loner

"Hey!" protested Larie.

The best musical ever is Wicked.

Dancing peanuts in flashes of green light.

The best part was when Wicked turned liquid.

"Hey!" protested the Witch.

My friend's fav part was the kick-butt catfight.

"That was my favorite part too…." Said the blonde in a pink bubble.

Over the dumb scarecrow named Fiyero.

"Hey!" protested Fiyero. "I'm not dumb!"

"What's two plus two?" asked Ralmal.

Fiyero counted on his fingers. "I don't have that many fingers" he said.

The pink and green start an ultimate clash.

But Doctor Dillamond was our hero.

"I LOVE THE GOAT!" cried Celia.

"When will this end?" cried Jake.

It was sad that he went by in a flash.

Basically, we drove the Ele crazy

"Yeah, you guyz did…." She said. "You guyz wouldn't stop asking me QUESTIONS!"

"It's not my fault I was deprived of the Wizard of Ozness as a young wee one!" Ralmal cried.

It is unfortunate that it was hazy.

(EA/N: I feel inferior because Ralmal is capable of writing a sonnet and I cannot...)

--------------------

Later…………

"What was THAT?" everyone cried.

"Your mom" said Ralmal.

"Your PHAT mom" said Celia.

"With a P-H!" supplied Larie.

The crickets started chirping again……..it wasn't even noon yet. Seriously, are those crickets jetlagged or just plain stupid?

All of a sudden, the principal popped out from the laundry hamper.

"MWAHAHAHAH!"

Everyone fainted.

The End.

HAHAHA Just kidding……

"I am here to expose the Cats!"

Everyone randomly regained consiousness. Glinda stared at the Cats. "What is she talking about, honey?"

The Cats shifted his eyes. "I don't know, my cute bubblekins!"

COLLECTIVE GAG!

By now, I believe everyone is sick of gagging up mucus at the same time as everyone else, but that didn't stop them from doing it again.

COLLECTIVE GAG!

The Principal held up a picture. "BEHOLD!"

Everyone cringed in fear. It was a picture of the Principal's back hair.

"Wrong photo!" She held up another one. "BEHOLD!"

Everyone cringed and collective gagged again. It was a picture of the Lexa in his spandex dancing.

"OOPS!" She held up a picture. It was a picture of Cats and his….wife…cutting a wedding cake.

Glinda cringed. "Cats, you told me you weren't married to your wife anymore!"

"How can you not be married to your wife?" The Cats questioned.

Glinda pulled out a rose-scented hanky and started wiping her eyes. "Why can't the men in my life be committed to ME?"

"You're too intimidating…" said the scarecrow.

"You're too shallow…." Said another random guy.

"You're too pink…" said ANOTHER random guy.

"You're too pink…" said the scarecrow.

"Dude, I just said that…" said the second random guy.

Glinda stood up and jumped on the stage. She ripped off her sparkly blue dress to reveal a punk outfit. It was all BLACK and there was no sign of pink anywhere.

"Hit it, Goat." She said. The Goat pressed PLAY and the music to "Crowded" by Jeannie Ortega filled the room. A spotlight landed on the Glinda and smoke oozed everywhere.

"Whoah…" said the Cats.

Danny started rapping….

Glinda the Good…gone bad
Imma show you how it's supposed to be done, uh

"This is for you, Cats!" Glinda shouted.

Don't get me started, it's getting kinda crowded in here
Back up off me, I'm feeling like I'm suffocating
Now here's my problem, I'm not gonna be your chick on the side
Forget about it, you know damn well it wouldn't be right
I don't know what you been thinking bout me
Did you think this was gonna be that easy?
Heck no you must be going crazy

Why don't you get out of my life, get out of my sight
Get off of my back.
Why don't you get back to your world, Go back to your girl
I think you owe her.
I know what's going on
I won't be second to none
Back up cause you're crowding my space
You need to get out of my face

Let's be honest I'm not the type of chick you can use
And if you want it, if you want it you'll have to choose
Oh I've been through this, been cheated on I know how it feels

The Scarecrow gasped. "Who would DO such a shallow and self-absorbed thing?" he asked.

"You," deadpanned the Witch.

What I know that, you wouldn't do the same to me.

I don't know what you been thinking bout me

Did you think this was gonna be that easy?

Hell no you must be going crazy

Why don't you get out of my life, get out of my sight
Get off of my back.
Why don't you get back to your world, Go back to your girl
I think you owe her.
I know what's going on
I won't be second to none
Back up cause you're crowding my space
You need to get out of my faceWhy don't you get out of my life, get out of my sight
Get off of my back.
Why don't you get back to your world, Go back to your girl
I think you owe her.
I know what's going on
I won't be second to none
Back up cause you're crowding my space
You need to get out of my face

Get out of my life, get out of my sight, get off of my back
Cause you're crowding my space
You need to get out of my face.

"Ouch…." Said Cats. "That stings."

"Geez….who knew Glinda was so……..BAD." the Scarecrow said, staring at the punkified good witch.

The Witch glared at him. "Hey, I'm the wicked one here!"

"Call me when you leave your wife," Glinda said. She then spit on Cats' new Gucci Uggs and made a bubble around her. The bubble got smaller and smaller and smaller until…

"POP THE BUBBLE!" Larie cried.

"YEAH!" everyone cried. They all held up sewing needles and advanced towards the bubble.

Glinda gasped then mentally slapped herself for not ordering the anti-needle bubble kit. "NOOOO!" she cried.

All of a sudden, Cats jumped in front of the bubble. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but no one pops MY Glinda!"

I know, weird ending, but what can you DO?

--------------------

OMAKE TIME...IN ORCHESTRA!

"Does anyone know anything about Bach?" asked the Cats, proudly standing on top of the podium.

Ralmal raised her hand while everyone else just stared at the Cats with anime-style drops of sweat. This story has been repeated bajillion times before.

"Anyone besides Ralmal?"

All of a sudden, the Elemia stood up on top of her chair. It's pretty amazing how someone who's not in orchestra managed to sneak back in without being caught. "THE BACH IS SOME DEAD GUY!"

Ralmal rolled her eyes. "Nice..."

--------------------

NEXT...AN OMAKE INSIDE AN OMAKE...IN SOPHOMORE HONORS ENGLISH!

The SonSwan was passing back essays to the sad and failing students. She walked up to the front of the class.

"Guys, to put it nicely...YOUR ESSAYS SUCKED!"

Half the class cowered in the corner. THe SonSwan continued.

"No matter what, all people need to be loved" She gagged. "WHO WROTE THIS CRAP!"

Ralmal jumped up from her seat and stood on the teacher's desk. "I DID!"

Collective Gasp!

All of a sudden, the Elemia ran in. "Sorry I'm late..."

The teacher almost fainted. "THOSE SHORTS ARE MINE!" she cried out.

Everyone pointed at Ralmal and the Elemia. "CHEATERS!" They shouted. After that, tomatoes and failed essays were thrown.

"MY NEW SHIRT!" cried the SonSwan, who was caught in the midfire.

"MY SANITY!" cried Ralmal.

"My sanity was lost a couple chapters back." said the Elemia. The Ralmal gave her a weird look. "Oh right...MY SHORTS!"

"MY THESIS!" cried the Lexa, who stupidly walked in the middle of the throwing to get a pass to the girls' bathroom. Yes you heard correctly.

"YOU HAVE NO THESIS!" cried the Elemia.

"BACH IS NOT DEAD! HE LIVES IN OUR HEARTS!" Cats cried, who magically appeared out of nowhere.

"I HAVE NO HEART!" said the Boq.

"NOT YOU!"

"Oh."