Denial Isn't a River in Egypt

By: Ceriadara

All that matters is that I want to reach out and pull him close and never let him go. ...What the HELL?! KaRe shonen-ai, possibly YuBo
A/N Oh. My. God.

Nyaaaaaaghmkasdojbfso jasdlknj BLARGH.

Hi there:3

So yeah. I have been having SO MUCH personal shit to sort out it's not even funny. From family health to emotional issues to friends to brothers to enemies to people-who-aren't-enemies-but-aren't-good-friends-at-all. Yeah.

BUT I AM WORKING ON THIS I SWEAR.

Mind you, the school uear is now upon us. Tests and homework and TEACHERS, oh my. So I'm giving up my last hour of freedom on this Monday (blech) night to bring this beloved chapter out of my head and onto the screen. If it stays in here any longer I'm afraid I'll break it.

Your most unfavorite author is back! Aren't you pleased!?

no? ...Just a simple question. -sniff-

Anyway, onto Denial!

- Management

P.S. Dedication, as always, to the lovely Kitten Koneko. I'm so sorry I haven't gotten back to you, but I've had so much crap...TT-TT I'm a horrid person and you must smack me with heavy books at the first opportunity. );

Chapter Two: For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic

Thunk.

"Ow."

Thunk.

"Ow."

Thunk.

"Ow."

I know that this is causing a mass genocide somewhere amidst my brain cells, but in my sad state I can't seem to bring myself to care very much.

Thunk.

"Ow."

Who'd've thought a hotel wall could do so much damage, eh?

Not me. Nope, not Kai.

Thunk.

"Ow."

My "ow"s are quickly disintegrating into indistinguishable whimpers of self-pity and pain, which rather makes sense as I've been doing this since Rei left...an hour ago.

Thunk.

"...Ow."

I think I'm breaking through the sheetrock, or at least making a dent in the oh-so-pretty creme wall. The crown molding came down on my head about a quarter of an hour ago...

I can see it on the floor as I lean my forehead against the wall. It'll probably be bruised tomorrow morning (damn you, Russian heritage!), but Yuri (bless his demonic little heart) taught me some pretty nice concealer tricks. ...See, the Abbey did benefit society!

Well, society meaning me. But still.

I throw myself back onto the mattress, tired of killing my mind. My eyes, I noticed absent (ha!) mindedly, are somewhat unfocused. I wonder if I have a concussion. Wouldn't be the first time I've given myself a head injury.

Hell, it wouldn't even be the first time I purposely injured myself. But that, my friends, is a story that reaches no one's ears but mine. So ha.

The pillow and cool sheets are a rather nice change after that constant wall-banging, and my bruised forehead does not complain as I sink my face into the soft feather pillow. The comforter feels like goose-down, which is wonderful; it's very soft, and I know for a fact that Rei adores it.

Rei...

My mind flashes to his face, the dull red flush rushing into his tanned cheeks, his amber eyes widening. His hand against his mouth. That nice, soft mouth...

Mental slap. Keep these thoughts PG.

...Maybe PG-13.

But still.

I mean, he's seen me in a towel before, and he hasn't been all that embarassed. We've gone to hot springs together (where we wore bathing suits, you perverts, get your minds out of the gutter - no, you can leave mine there, thank you).

So what's so different now?

Is it because he feels we're no longer close? To the point where he considers it a horrifying experience to walk in on me in a towel?

...Was I unattractive?

...Pfffffft. Yeah, right.

Me, unattractive.

HA!

Ahem.

Anyway.

It's not different from seeing me in a bathing suit, and we're still closer than he is with Takao and Blonde. I mean, he's seen Takao's ding-a-ling, for God's sake, and even then he didn't turn that red. Granted, the pig got into the water a few seconds later, but still. (And fangirls? Hate to disappoint you, but Santa's only got a small package.)

But still.

Why is he such a freaking enigma?

ARGH!

There is only one solution to this...

Thunk.

"Ow."

Thunk.

"Ow."

Thunk.

"Ow."

Thunk.

"...Um, Kai?"

"...Yes, Rei?"

"...You do know that that kills brain cells, right?"

"...Yes."

"..."

Thunk.

"Ow."

Thunk.

"Ow."

Thunk,

"Ow."

Th -

Suddenly, there is a slender, tanned, warm hand between my poor purple forehead and the wall. I look up to find concerned, gentle amber eyes looking down at me, a concerned frown on that beautiful little mouth of his. "You," he declares, taking my hand and leading me to the bed, "are a retard."

He lets go as I sink onto the mattress and turns to survey whatever damaged I have managed to cause. "Jesus, Kai. There's a freaking dent in the wall. How long did you do that?"

"...Started right after you left."

"Right after I - That was two hours ago!"

"Well, to be fair," I said, "I took a break halfway through."

"Kai!"

"No, really."

I hear him sigh, and then the mattress dips. My body rolls down the soft incline and collides with his. My head hurts far too much to comprehend much of anything at the moment, much less to look embarassed. I feel his gentle fingers graze the mottled skin on my forehead, and he sighs again. "Your head hurts? Bad?"

"Yeah."

"...I'll go get you some aspirin and Earl Grey."

"God bless."

When he returns, he comes baring a few pills, a tube of ointment, some kind of jar, and a cup of Earl Grey tea, balanced precariously in the crook of his arm. I try to move to help, but he shoots me a glare.

"Head on pillow now."

"Yes sir." What can I say? When he puts on The Voice, I listen. Without question. Always.

Bad things happen when you don't, you know.

He sets everything down on the table, and gently props my pillows up. "Okay, before you get the meds...how many fingers?"

"Two."

"Now?"

"Three."

"Follow my finger with your eyes."

"..."

"Okay, good. Just lemme take a look with the flash light..."

After I'm blinded, I see him smile. "Good...you don't seem to have a concussion, although you do have some serious bruising. And you kinda shook yourself up. Retard."

"You know you love me."

...Did he just blush!?

"Take your aspirin, you sadist."

"Yes, Mother."

"If you weren't an invalid I would smack you."

I roll my eyes and immediately stop when my head nearly explodes. "Ow."

"Oh yeah. Don't do that."

I try to glare, but the pounding behind my eyes is too strong, so I just seize the pills and my tea and drink like a madman. I don't like pills very much.

"Alright, you can lie back now."

He opens the jar, and a foul smell fills the room. I wince at the smell, which triggers a wave of pain. I see Rei give me a sympathetic glace. "This is excellent for healing skin cells."

"Great. What the hell does it do to your brain, village boy?"

He shooks me a wry look. "I see the painkillers are working."

"Because I'm back to my usual loving self?"

His laughter bubbles out.

"Yeah. Because you're back to your usual loving self."