To Choose Cake Over Sanity Chapter 15: Back to Basics, ALMOST, a danny phantom fanfic

Title: Part 1: Evil Cake and Pink Loathing
Warnings: AUs where everyone can hear what the narrarator thinks and what
everyone else thinks; dramatization; insanity; some WAFF; OOCness; and good
witches gone bad

A/N: Ralmal needs to learn more words to use in the place of 'cried' and 'said.' If no words are learned, I'm going to need a bigger thesaurus.
Also, this chapter is sponsored by Dana, who, though she hasn't been present in the story in quite a while, is a firm supporter of the Ele/Lex pairing even though whenever she brings it up, Elemia tells her to STFU! And for a fifty page update, I want cake.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the songs listed, even the Wicked ones (DO I
LOOK LIKE STEPHEN SHWARTZ TO YOU?) or Danny Phantom

"POP THE BUBBLE!!" Larie cried.

"YEAH!" everyone cried. They all held up sewing needles and advanced towards the bubble.

Glinda gasped then mentally slapped herself for not ordering the anti-needle bubble kit. "NO!" she cried.

All of a sudden, Cats jumped in front of the bubble. Sorry to burst your bubble, but no one pops MY Glinda!!

Glinda's punkish eyes became hearts. Oh Cats, you came BACK for me!! She said this after the heart eyes, obviously.

Elemia pulled out her screwdriver. "This is for the heart eyes. AND for surrendering your individuality for a guy!" She then stabbed out the Glinda's eyes.

"MY POPULAR LITTLE EYES! NO!" she cried, her eye sockets filling with Popular H2O.

"MY EARS! THEY'RE BLEEDING!" cried the Cats.

All of a sudden, the goat came into the room, searching for candy…YAY SUGAR! At this sight, the Celia's eyes brightened up!

"Oh my gosh, thank GOODNESS you're back!" she screamed, suffocating the goat in a coat, who arrived in a boat.

"What are the odds of that?" the Lexa wondered aloud.

"Jake Long sat on a nearby rock and started crying. This was very odd because they were in Salad's kitchen. How could there be a rock in her kitchen? I wasn't the interior designer for Salads kitchen, so I cant answer.

"Jake Long, I'm sorry man," Danny said, sympathizing with his evil Asian twin, interrupting the narrarator's thoughts, and patting Jake Long on the back. In THAT order.

Jake Long walked up to the stage, tears still flowing down his face. Everyone looked up from their needles (EA/N: Ooooh shiny…) and stared at the Asian Poser in silence.

"H-H-hit it, Paulina" he said, his voice cracking. Ralmal had to hit Larie under the table to keep her from laughing at the cracked voice. Paulina punched PLAY on the stereo and the technoness from Miracle by Cascada started to fill the icy silence that had befallen among the twenty-first century youngsters who-.

"We get the point," said Elemia, hefting her screwdriver threateningly.

Jake Long started singing like a gurl (RA/N: NO, I didn't just press on the 'u' key, I typed each 'u' individually.shifts eyes); he was too depressed to rap.

"Boy meets girl
You were my dream, my world
But I was blind
You cheated on me from behind…"

"With a goat, nonetheless," said the Lexa, his face twisting itself into his usual smug grin.

Elemia poked him. "Not helping…" she growled.

"So on my own
I feel so all alone
Though I know it's true
I'm still in love with you"

Here, everyone took part in the collective "AAAW!"

Celia was stroking the goat's fur, but she was watching her pairing in amusement.

"I need a miracle
I wanna be your guy
Give me a chance to see
That you are made for me
I need a miracle
Please let me be your dude"

Ralmal snickered. "Nice word choice…"

Elemia slammed her fist to the table and screeched, "IT DOESN'T FRIKKEN RHYME!!!"

"One day you'll see it can happen to me
I need a miracle
I wanna be your guy
Give me a chance to see
That you are made for me
I need a miracle
Please let me be your guy
One day you'll see it can happen to me
It can happen to me"

By now, the Celia was in the front row of the stage, gazing at her pairing with watery eyes. (EA/N: Apparently the amusement faded?) The goat took this chance to get away and cower in the corner.

"Day and night
I'm always by your side
Cause I know for sure
My love is real, my feelings pure
So take a try
No need to ask me why
Cause I know it's true
I'm still in love with you

I need a miracle..."

Everyone was silent.

"That was very…uh…depressing," Guy X said, trying to break the silence…that everyone had created by not speaking.

Ralmal put a reassuring arm on the Celia. The Celia broke down into tears. How did Ralmal know she was going to cry?? That will forever be a mystery. (EA/N: Maybe she's just psychic like that)

"I'm torn between two mammals!" she (the Celia) cried, (EA/N: there is far too much crying in this chapter…if this becomes emo on me, it's all Ralmal's fault.) sobbing through her tears. All the girls huddled around the Celia, offering Kleenex. The guys watched, silently sympathizing.

"Hey, when's lunch?" the Guan, who had not spoken in a while, asked.

Annie glared at him. "WHY am I with you? You have no feelings. YOU HAVE NO HEART!"

The Guan scoffed. "Do I look like I'm made out of tin?"

"Yes."

Jake was still on the stage, watching his love almost reduced herself into a puddle of salty tears, her faced covered by an expression of sadness mixed with embarrassment and shame.

"Whoa, when did I get so poetic?" asked the narrator.

Everyone was all "WE'RE IGNORING YOU! SO SHUT UP!!"

"I need to make this right," said the Celia. She got on the stage and wiped (EA/N: Originally it said 'whipped') her tears with her sleeve.

"H-h-hit it, Andrew," she said, her voice cracking. Ralmal had to hit Larie under the table again to keep her from laughing at the cracked voice. Andrew punched 'PLAY' on the stereo and the depressing angstiness from 'Unfaithful' by Rihanna filled the icy si-

"Okay, okay, we get it already!" groaned Elemia.

"Why does this seem familiar?" asked the Lexa.

Elemia just stared at him, wondering HOW in the world he scored a 1590 on his SAT test. She concluded thusly: the other ten points must have been from common sense questions.

"Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

He's more than a man"

"Damn straight," interjected Elemia, "he's a GOAT…or were you referring to the other? 'Cuz he's like a dragon or summat."

"And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other mammal"

"Word choices! Word choices!!!!" screeched the SonSwan. "PICK YOUR DAMN WORDS BETTER!"

Ignoring them all, which was hard in the case of the SonSwan, as she has amazing yelling technique, the Celia continued singing.

"I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore"

"Then stop," Ralmal said bluntly. "I mean, geez!"

"I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer…"

"Da Da DAN!" the Lexa uttered. (EA/N: it's pronounced 'dah dah duuuuun'… I think?) Ralmal shivered. Elemia wrapped her arms around her and started rocking back and forth. It was very scary.

"I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late

I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell"

Jake Long glared at the girls who had supposedly hung out with the Celia. They rocked on their heels and whistled and shifted their eyes, even though 90 of them were eyeless.

"Because we both know"

"Might wanna check on that," muttered Elemia.

Erstwhile, Jake had a huge question mark hovering over his head while he let out a "huh? Know what?"

"Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other mammal"

"That's sad, she left him for a goat," Guan said, laughing. Everyone glared at him, even though they were all laughing with him on the inside.

"I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore
Uh
Anymore (anymore)"

"Then don't!" repeated Ralmal, not understanding the purpose of this song.

"Sh…" everyone said. Ralmal shed.

"I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
And everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside

And I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer"

"Oh CEEL!!" Jake Long said, hugging the sobbing Celia.

"AAAAAW" everyone squealed whilst the junior collapsed into the freshman's arms.

"Its okay, they're both Asian," Elemia said, finally getting over the rocking the cradleness. (EA/N: WTF?)

'Not really,' she thought, 'just until they're happy again. Then I can crush their smug little faces. Mwahahahahaha.'

Everyone stared at Elemia.

"You didn't hear that right?" she asked somewhat sheepishly.

Everyone ignored her, indicating the intense feeling of shame they shared…Even though they were all secretly laughing on the inside.

Ha.

"Come on, Celia, you can do it," Jake Long said encouragingly.

The Celia shrank against the wall. "I can't…" she whined.

The Jake grabbed her shoulders and stared into her eyes. "Yes, you can, I have faith in you!"

"What are you, God?" the Elemia asked just as she popped in. (EA/N: Neither part of this makes sense.)

The Celia took a deep breath. "Okay," she said. Jake Long kissed her on the cheek and she walked towards the Ashley.

"Um, Ash?" she began, twisting her hands together awkwardly.

"BAHAH?!" bleated the goat, his face blanching visibly (EA/N: WTF?!?).

"Imsorrybutwehavetobreakup!" the Celia yelled.

"Bah?" questioned, tilting his head at the Celia confusedly.

"I'm…sorry...we...have...to...breakup!" she muttered though clenched teeth. 'Geez, he's so cute when he's brainless and questioning,' the Celia thought, 'with his horns and hairy face, and THOSE BEAUTIFULLY CUTORABLE PAWS!! OH YES!'

"Ahem!" she heard someone cough behind her pointedly. It was Jake Long, glaring at her. Apparently, he had heard the Celia's unfaithful thoughts.

"Im sorry, but we may never be together in this lifetime!" she said, tearing her teary eyes away from her lover. She didn't see the goat do a little happy dance. When she turned around, he regained his position as heartbroken lover.

"B-Bye," she whispered, walking away from her goat. The Jake put his arm around her and they walked back into the house, only to find everyone...

MEANWHILE…

Olivia and Dana popped in as they left.

"This may be a random thought…" began Olivia.

"DON'T SAY IT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SAY IT!!!" screamed Dana, obviously in some sort of panic."

Ignoring her, Olivia launched right into one of her most quoted phrases. "How DOES one :coughcough: with a goat, anyway?"

"She had to do it anyway…" sighed Dana.

"I mean, if you're a guy, it's a different story. So how does a girl:coughcough: with a goat, anyway?"

"We're not going to get into it."

"But the implications!"

"I said NO!"

We return you to your story in progress.

...planning their overnight campout!

Ralmal looked over at the two Asians entering the room. "GUYS GUESS WHAT!"

"What?"

"Guy X's dad knows a guy who knows this guy who knows this guy who knows this guy who knows this guy who knows this guy who knows this guy's cousin…"

"Actually," interrupted Elemia, pushing her glasses up like the nerd she is inside (and outside, now) "Guy X's dad knows a guy whose cousin knows a girl who knows another guy whose grandfather's aunt's half-sister's brother's cousin's boyfriend's nephew's fiancée's illegitimate daughter's heir's friend's neighbor knows this other guy whose great-grandnephew-twice-removed-on-the-great-grandmother's-side's sister's manslave's quarter-brother's cousin's…"

"ON WITH IT!!" the two confused Asians cried, afraid of the fact that Elemia was apparently channeling the Lexa's spirit…sorta.

"...who owns a campsite!" squealed Ralmal, dancing around the room happily while Guy X laughed.

"You guys wanna go?" he asked.

"Yes," said Celia, packing her bags.

"No," said the Jake, NOT packing his bags.

:Insert COLLECTIVE GASP!:

Everyone glared at the Asian who was still trying to be a white guy trying to be a black guy…but no one glared more than the Ralmal.

"YOU…" she snarled, giving him a full-on glare.

The Jake gulped. "O-O-Okay," he said, with a cracked voice, AGAIN!!

The Larie laughed. "Are you still going through puberty?"

"Oh my gosh, Guy X! This is beautiful!" Ralmal cried.

"I'm beautiful," Paulina cried, trying to catch Guy Xs attention. "almost beautifully flawless!"

Ralmal glared. "You have two guys who are after you already. Leave Guy X alone."

Paulina glared at her. "But I was just using them." She pouted.

"WHAT?" screeched Andrew, who had been wheeling in Paulina's cart of luggage.

"What else is new?" asked Tucker, completely resigned to his fate.

Ralmal dropped her bags and glared.

Paulina jumped off her cart of luggage that she had been sitting on and glared.

COLLECTIVE GLARE!

"Um…ANYWAYS" cried Guy X. "Lets ignore the icy tension…I'm going to call off roomies!!

"Never say roomies again," growled Elemia, filling in for Ralmal. Usually, Ralmal would jump in with a sarcastic remark, but she was too busy glaring at Paulina.

Guy X whipped out a pad of paper from his hood and started calling off names.

"The Lexa and the Danny"

"Oh no…" Danny whimpered with a deer-in-the-headlights look.

"OH YES!" shouted the Lexa. Everyone stared at him. He coughed. I mean, no. His face mirrored Dannys headlight look. Even though he looks nothing like the Danny.

Guy X continued. "The Celia and Elemia."

The Celia and the Elemia high-fived each other. "ASIANS UNITE!" they cried.

The non-Asians, and indeed, a few of the Asians as well, glared at them.

Guy Xs eyes popped out of his head, even though no one could see.

"And…uh…Ralmal and pleasedonthurtme…Paulina.

"WHAT?" they screeched, with mirrored images of horror.

"Deal with it," said the Celia.

"I cant!" Ralmal cried. "She's too shallow and slow!"

"She doesn't worship me!" Paulina cried.

Then, the crickets started chirping. Night had befallen upon them, so it was okay. (EA/N: Ya know, I could have SWORN those crickets had been killed and eaten some time ago…)

"Seriously, WHEN are we going to eat?" asked the ravenous Guan.

"I brought cake!" cried the Glinda, pulling out a yellow cake with pink frosting.

"CAKE!" screamed Elemia. She grabbed a handful and stuffed the cake into her (slightly foaming) mouth. The Glinda stared at her in disgust.

"How rude," she sniffed. "Right, Catsikins?"

The Cats didn't answer. He was too busy stuffing his face with cake.

The hungry people (Ralmal and Guan and the Jake Long and the Danny) took a slice. Everyone else just watched. They were all on diets…even the guys. It was kind of sad.

"Eat some, Paulina," Danny suggested. "It's really good! He put the cake underneath her nose.

"No," affirmed Paulina, even though her mouth was watering. "I have to watch my figure. Her eyes followed the cake as Danny shrugged and ate some more.

Ralmal looked at her untouched cake and stared evilly at Paulina. She then stepped on Paulina's foot. "OW!" Paulina shouted. With Paulina's mouth hanging open, Ralmal seized her one opportunity and stuffed the cake into Paulina's mouth. Everyone's collective jaw dropped to the floor.

Paulina, defeated, fell to the floor, whimpering.

"Oh no" she said, swallowing, silently, secretly savoring the cake. (RA/N: ALLITERATION IS FUNN!) "That's two more pounds. NO!"

Glinda looked at her funny. "What do you think I am, crazy? There is no sugar or fat in this cake."

Paulina slowly looked up at the sparkly blonde. "GIVE ME THE CAKE!" she shouted. She pushed everyone out of the way and advanced her way towards the massive desert. She started shoving cake at 114 miles per hour into her mouth.

"Actually, it's more like 115 miles per hour," corrected the ego-infested Lexa.

The Elemia punched in some random numbers into her calculator. She made the creepy anime heart eyes, ONCE AGAIN! "That's correct, my love…" she said softly.

"Wha??" asked the Lexa, having clearly missing the last half of the sentence.

"Nothing, nothing."

"Wait, how can cake have no fat or sugar in it?" asked the Andrew curiously.

Glinda pulled out her glasses and put them on the bridge of her nose. She pulled down an overhead that just so happened to be conveniently placed near her. The lights dimmed, even though they were outside, and a spotlight landed on Glinda.

She pointed to a bunch of diagrams. "Blah blah blah blah..." she said.

"Blah?" asked Andrew.

The Glinda nodded. "Blah! Blah blah blah!"

The Andrew nodded his head and finished with a dashing toss-toss.

The Glinda stared at him. "No," she said, packing up her diagrams.

"WHAT DID SHE SAY?" asked Paulina, clinging to Andrew.

"How am I supposed to know?" he said, shrugging. "I don't speak girl."

Paulina responded by hitting him.

"OW!" he whined.

Suddenly, someone screamed. It sounded like, indeed, a girl.

Andrew ran over to everyone. "Are you guys okay?" he asked the girls. (RA/N:I believe that this is an oxymoron.) (EA/N: If that was supposed to be a joke, I don't get it…)

"It wasn't us," said Ralmal, a bit disgustedly.

"It was him," Elemia announced, pointing at Danny. He was on the floor, twitching.

"No, Danny!" cried Sam, who hasn't been mentioned in a while. (EA/N: Dang, we even forgot to assign her to a roomie. What are THE odds, eh?) "Are you okay?"

The Danny looked at her. "Yes, I'm just peachy."

The Sam glared at the Glinda. "What did you put in the cake?"

Glinda sighed. "I told that tall scary-looking Asian boy already. I put in a cup of flour, two eggs, a bottle of blonde hair dye, some…"

"WHAT?" screamed Sam, slightly shocked.

"You look surprised," Glinda said stupidly. "Why do you think I'm so blonde?'

Danny emerged from his state of twitching. Everyone gasped.

"I'm going blonde!" he shouted dramatically, his yellow hair moving in some otherworldly wind unfelt by everyone else, and indeed their collective hairs. (EA/N: OTHERWORLDLY WIIIIIIIIIIND!!!!)

"This is so wrong!" cried the Guan, Jake, and Elemia.

"I like my dark mackdaddy hair, yo!"

"How will I woo Annie with yellow hair?"

"NO!"

These lines were said by Jake, Guan, and Elemia, respectively. (EA/N: In the original version, Ralmal put 'Guan, Jake, and Elemia' which makes very little sense compared to what I changed it to. Muahaha…damn, maybe I am channeling the Lexa. Ho shit…) Although I probably didn't have to tell you that. It was pretty obvious who said what.

Elemia grabbed Glinda. "I can't be blonde! I'm an Asian, for crying out loud! What will my parents say?"

"Look, honey, if you read the fine print on the contract you signed before eating my scrumdidlioushious cake, I cannot and will not be held responsible for the side affects the consumer might acquire in the midst of eating the cake."

Glinda whipped her brow. (EA/N: Yeah, I was gonna change 'whipped'…but it's too funny)

Confused?

Here's what happened while people were shoving cake down their greedy, greedy throats…the greedy bastards.

Glinda popped up right in front of the Lexa and said, "Gee, I need someone to sign these waivers for those people who are eating…"

The Lexa was a bit busy fantasizing about eating cake.

"Someone who is intelligent…"

He was still mostly focused on the cake at this point, though his unconscious mind was picking this part up rather well.

"Gee, if these waiver's don't get signed soon, I'm going to have to stop them from eating cake…"

At this point, the Lexa grabbed the waivers and signed them, fearing the wrath of an Elemia deprived of cake.

'I wonder why I have the sudden urge to kill the Lexa…' thought Elemia. Then she kept eating.

"Whoo! That's the most I've said at once!" she cried jubilantly.

"It's also the last sentence you'll ever say!" Elemia cried murderously as she started pulling Glinda's hair.

"MEEP!" Glinda screamed, girlishly kicking the blonde Asian. Lexa and Cats broke up the fight and held them apart from each other.

"It's not my fault!" Glinda cried, sobbing into the Cats' arms. I'm just trying to make the world a better place! The Cats comforted the Glinda while she weakly smiled at Elemia.

"FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING CAKE TOO!" screamed Elemia. (EA/N: Sorry, Ralmal. Couldn't resist.) "AND YOU!" she screeched, turning her rage upon the Lexa. "YOU SIGNED THE FUCKING WAIVER, DIDN'T YOU?!?"

"Ho shit…" muttered the Lexa, just before Elemia began pulling weapons out of hammerspace and attacking him.

'I feel bad for the glasses-wearing blonde one. She obviously has some sort of hatred towards blondes, and I shouldn't force her to become one of her enemies. Maybe should apologize…NOT! This is only the beginning of my evil plan to Galindafy the world! Once I make enough cake, everyone will just have to surrender to the goodness of it all! And they will all become BLONDE! And I will be ruler of all! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Everyone was staring at the Glinda, whose weak smile and suddenly become so wicked that even the Witch was scared. She was hiding behind the Scarecrow, which probably wouldn't have helped her much: he's brainless, shallow, and made out of straw for the sake of the agnostic's god! Someone could just stick a torch in his face and he'd be burnt to a crisp in six seconds flat!

"Okay, we get the point," said scarecrow, uh, said.

Meanwhile, everyone was still staring at the Glinda with shocked faces. "Uh…I'm good?!" she said lamely, shifting her eyeless eyes.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"You really are good!" cried the Salad.

"How do you do it?" cried the Celia.

"Will you teach me?" cried the Larie.

"Glinda laughed her girly laugh. In order, thanks, I was born with it, and no, I will not, she then skipped like the girly girl she pretends to be to the Mess Hall, to make another cake.

DA DA DA DUN.

"I NEVER SIGNED ANYTHING!" wailed Elemia, once Glinda was out of earshot.

"A little late there, Ele, dont you think?" Guan said, oblivious to the fact that Elemia's feelings were hurt. The Lexa put a reassuring arm around the Elemia.

"It's just hair, let it go…" he said, trying to be comforting (and failing miserably). The Elemia glared evilly at the Lexa.

Then Elemia began muttering some more stuff regarding the Lexa, but the Authoress-Ralmal felt that it was too scary for the readers and might possibly scar the children for life, so she censored it.

"Oh no, my hair's the brightest!" Paulina shrieked, almost fainting at the sight of her neon hair.

"Probably because you ate the most," Andrew said unsympathetically. He doesn't like his girls fat. He's probably the shallowest boy there. (And when you take into account the personalities of the guys we're talking about, well…that's saying something. I'm looking at YOU, Fiyerio.)

Ralmal was trying not to laugh at Paulina. But sadly, her laugh could be heard by everyone.

Hey, I said trying, didn't I?

Paulina glared at the brunette. "Why I oughta..." She started advancing towards

Ralmal.

"EEP!" Ralmal cried. She hid behind Guy X, who whipped out a random stick just randomly placed next to him and started doing exaggerated karate moves at Paulina. The blonde-Hispanic-Korean-Chinese girl-squirrel flinched.

"I learned that from Jake Long," he whispered to Ralmal, obviously very proud of himself.

Ralmal rolled her eyes. "I can tell," she murmured.

"I want the top bunk!"

"No, I do!"

The two girls glared at each other.

"Look, I'm already blonde, can I just please get what I want?" Paulina asked, refusing to just get over her hair.

"No!" Ralmal steamed. "You always get what you want! Do you have any idea how sad Tucker is? Stop leading him on!" Gasp! Ralmal actually feels sorry for the techno geek? (EA/N: Does she mean sad sad or pathetic sad?)

"Well, it's not my fault I'm so pretty and popular!" Paulina said vainly. "I bet even Guy X likes me! So just get over it."

Ralmal gasped. "No, you get over it!"

"No you!"

This went on for hours. The constant bickering, the constant yelling, heck, the whole thing was constant.

"Why did that stupid Guy X put us in the same room?" Paulina lamented.

"He's not stupid, you're stupid!" Ralmal snapped back.

"No, you are!"

"No you!"

Suddenly, someone banged on the door. It was Guy X. The girls shut up as he entered the room.

"How's everything going in here?" he asked cheerily.

"Fine…just fine." Ralmal said through gritted teeth.

"We...couldn't be happier." Paulina muttered.

Guy Xs face brightened up, even though neither girl could see. "Great!" he said. He left, humming some bad show tune.

"Geek!"

"Snob!"

Both girls were writing in their diaries in opposite corners. Clearly, they were trying to stay as far away from each other as possible.

Paulina: Dearest most darlingest Kitsikins

Ralmal: My dear diary

Then both started scribbling furiously.

Both: There's been some confusion over bunking here at camp.

Ralmal: But of course, I'll still be nice to Guy Xeven though he stuck me here with that pink psycho!

Ralmal began violently stabbing the paper.

Paulina: But of course, I'll rise above it!

Both: For I know that's how you'd want me to respond. Yes, there's been some confusion for you see, my bunk-mate is…

Paulina had to write frivolously to keep up with the music that had just randomly started playing by the Cats, who had so rudely entered in without an invite.

Paulina: Unusuallyandexceedinglypeculiarandaltogetherquiteimpossibletodescribe

Ralmal looked up from her dairy to glance at her archenemy. She needed the perfect word to describe her. Once the lightbulb above her dinged, she laughed.

Ralmal: Blonde.

Paulina, hearing Ralmal's laugh, crumpled up a piece of paper and threw it at her. Ralmal slammed her diary shut, stormed up to the thrower, and looked the half-Korean half-Chinese/Hispanic in the eyes. Paulina followed suit.

Except that Ralmal is fully 100 percent Persian.

"You guys need to start singing!" ordered the Cats. The two girls stared at the overly-enthusiastic blonde forty-year-old orchestra teacher. I have to go to the bathroom!!"

Ralmal rolled her eyes. The pink punk (Paulina) started singing.

"What is this feeling?
So sudden and new?"

(Ralmal)

"I felt it the moment

I laid eyes on you"

(Paulina)

"My pulse is rushing"

(Ralmal)

"My head is reeling"

(Paulina)

"My face is flushing"

"Whoa there…" Ralmal said, stepping a few inches back from the flush-faced girl.

"Seriously, what IS that?" asked Elemia, who had randomly popped in between lines five and six. "Are you guys in love or something?"

"EW" said Ralmal.

Paulina blinked. "Then what are we singing about?"

Elemia and Ralmal stared at the girl in disbelief. "You're kidding, right?" they chorused.

Paulina shifted her eyes. "Yes!"

"Right..." said Elemia, adamant in her disbelief.

"ON WITH IT!!" the Cats screeched. "I really have to go!"

For the sake of their conductor's bladder and their hardwood floor, the two girls continued singing.

"What is this feeling?

Fervid as a flame,
Does it have a name?
Yes!

Loathing
Unadulterated loathing"

(Paulina)

"For your face"

(Ralmal)

"Your voice"

(Paulina)

"Your clothing"

"This is your shirt…" Ralmal objected.

Paulina eyed Ralmal's pink shirt and shifted her eyes. "Uhh...WAIT, WHY WOULD YOU STEAL MY SHIRT??"

Ralmal shrugged. "There was nothing on TV."

Elemia stuck her head back onstage (well, technically, she went with it. After all, it's not like she ripped off her head). "All's fair in peace and boredom."

"Fair enough," said Paulina shrugging.

"THE QUOTE! IT IS MUTILATED!" shrieked the Lexa, clawing at his head with hit blunt nails (not claws, as it would seem).

"Get over it," said everyone else.

"Okay."

(Both)

"Let's just say - I loathe it all
Ev'ry little trait, however small
Makes my very flesh begin to crawl
With simple utter loathing

There's a strange exhilaration
In such total detestation
It's so pure, so strong!

Though I do admit it came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be loathing
Loathing you
My whole life long!"

At perfect timing, Andrew and Tucker entered the room, along with the other campers, in their sleepwear.

"Lexa, WHY are you wearing fuzzy hello kitty bunny slippers?" asked Elemia.

The Lexa shifted his brown eyes. "I'm not…" He said, shifting his fuzzy feet.

"Although you do look cute in them…"

"Thanks, Ele!" The Lexa smiled at the Elemia while she turned the same shade as Paulina's outfit. (Which was pink, if you didn't know.) What is this? Elemia/Lexa fluff?? No nonchalantness? WHOA...!

Andrew and Tucker jumped behind Paulina, showing their loyalty and love for her.

Everyone else just stood there.

"I'll give you guys candy!" Ralmal shouted. Everyone else scurried behind Ralmal, glaring at the ruthless pink punk (still Paulina) and her brainwashed and/or love-struck followers.

(Andrew and Tucker)

"Dear Paulina, you are just too hot
How do you stand it? I simply could not!
She's a terror! She's a Tartar!
We don't mean to show a bias,
But Paulina, you're a martyr!"

(EA/N: Ralmal, you're a genius. I'm going to be humming that all day now)

"What the heck is a tartar?" asked a rather confused Danny.

"You idiot!" screamed Sam, hitting him. "Its uh...seriously, what IS that?"

"My line!" Ralmal cried.

The Lexa pulled out his brain and searched through it for his vocabulary cranium. Yes, you heard me right. CRANIUM!

"Ahem." Lexa cleared his throat in what he considered a regal fashion. "Tartar: a person regarded as ferocious or violent," he recited. "Or: a salt used especially in baking powder."

"I am NOT a grain of salt!" screeched the Ralmal.

(Paulina, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulders)

"Well, these things are sent to try us!"

(Andrew and Tucker)

"Poor Paulina, forced to reside

With someone so disgustingified"

"Ralmal is NOT disgustingified!" Guy X protested gallantly. Everyone stared at him as Ralmal blushed and looked at her koala slippers. KOALAS!

"UH…" said the Guy X, shifting his hidden eyes while searching for an alibi. ALIBIS!

"KEEP SINGING!" shouted the Cats, determined to finish the song so he could relieve himself in the little girls' room…in the WHATNOW?

(Andrew and Tucker)

"We just want to tell you:
We're both on your side!
We share your:"

(All…not necessarily in any order)

"Loathing!"

"What is this feeling
So sudden and new?"

"Unadulterated loathing"

"I felt the moment"

"for her face, her voice"

"I laid eyes on you"

"Her clothing"

"My pulse is rushing

My head is reeling"

"Let's just say:
We loathe it all!"

"Oh, what is this feeling?"

"Ev'ry little trait however small"

"Does it have a name?"

"Makes our very flesh
Begin to crawl"

"Yes…"

"Ah!" cried the Danny. Everyone stared at him.

"What? It's the next line…"

(ALL…again, a bit confusing if you haven't got the song)

"Loathing!"

"There's a strange exhilaration"

"Loathing!"

"In such total detestation!"

"Loathing!"

"So pure, so strong!"

"Loathing!" shouted the Scarecrow (Fiyerio).

Everyone else, most of them having seen Wicked, slowly shook their heads in shame…because it's the WRONG WORD!

(Andrew and Tucker)

"So strong!"

"This is probably the most dragged on song in the world," noticed the Elemia.

"I don't care," the Cats remarked. "I'm getting paid by the minute!"

At this point Andrew and Tucker were forced to throw the Cats another penny.

(Paulina and Ralmal)

"Though I do admit it came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last

And I will be loathing
For forever loathing
Truly deeply…"

(All)

"Loathing you
My whole

Life long!"

Paulina pulled out her compact mirror and started staring at it. At such a weird
time, too. Ralmal snuck up behind her.

"Boo!"

Paulina jumped and hit her head on the ceiling. "AH!" Ralmal cracked up.

Andrew and Tucker ran up to Paulina. "Are you alright, my love?" they asked in unison. UNISON!

Andrew stared at Tucker strangely.

"What?" he said. "Everyone here knows I love your girlfriend. I'm that obvious." He finished with a proud smile.

Elemia clapped her hands in delight. "Do it again, Ralmal!" she squealed, in the voice of a little obnoxious kid voice begging for candy.

Ralmal resigned herself to her task and jumped behind Paulina again.

"Boo!"

"Ahh!"

"Boo!"

"Ah!!"

"Boo!"

"AH!"

"BOO!"

"AH!!! THATS ENOUGH!!"

"STOP SINGING!!' cried the Cats. He then scurried off to the outhouse…seconds later, the entire cast heard him as he screamed like very few little girls are able to sing. Truly, he is talented. A raccoon flew out and Cats slammed the door shut once again. But then
it toppled over. Everyone watched this amusing yet disturbing scene unfold.

"That was the longest omake ever!" Guy X complained.

"I'm not even sure that was an omake…" Ralmal commented. "I'm still not sure what they are!

"It's a…" but Elemia's voice was cut off by the sound of a blender churning. The Ralmal will never know what an omake is…its so sad.

"Fruit smoothies all around!" announced the Lexa, passing said smoothies out to everyone.

The four teens chugged down their fruit smoothies. CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!

"That's enough!" Everyone shouted at the narrator, even though she is only an intern and is paid only a pittance for her trouble…when she DOES get paid…which isn't often.

Suddenly, a bubbly Glinda ran into the room while a sleepy Cats followed closely behind.

"Whats up, Glind?" asked the Lex, rhetorically. "Sit so I can hook you up with a smooth!"

"Stop cutting your words!" said Ralmal.

"I'm not, Ral," he said, whereupon Ralmal conjured up a hammer from the ever-lovely hammerspace and hit him with it for calling her 'Ral.'

But the Glind did not sit. "Catsikins has a boat!! Fits up to a hundred people! We should all take a cruise!"

"Great!" they all said, except Ralmal. She stared into her smoothie.

"What is it Ralmal?" asked the ever-perceptive Guy X.

"I don't think my parents will let me go," she explained sadly.

COLLECTIVE GASP!

"I have to call them first to get perMISHon," she clarified, seeing a few angry faces in the crowd.

"Okay," said Glinda, whipping out her sparkly cell phone/mp3 player.

"Nice bling," mentioned the Lexa.

Here, Elemia punched him for saying 'bling.'

Ralmal punched in numbers and put it on speakerphone. Everyone huddled around closer to hear what was going to happen.

RING...RING

"Hello?" a woman's voice answered.

"Mom?" asked Ralmal.

"Yes," the woman identified as Ralmal's mom said.

"Hey, can I-" but she was cut off by Glinda.

"Hello, Mrs. Ralmal's Momsy," she said perkily into the phone. "This is Glinda the Good speaking."

"Galinda?"

"No ma'am, GLINDA, the GA is silent." She huffed a little.

"Okay…"

"We would really love it if Ralmal could come with us on a cruise with her friends! What do you say?"

"Let me speak with Ralmal…"

Glinda handed the phone to Ralmal and winked.

"Mom?" Ralmal asked again, even though the person had already been identified as her mother several times before.

"Honey, will there be any adult supervision on this boat?" Ralmal's mom asked seriously.

"Yes," Ralmal said. "There will be the good bubbly witch you just spoke to and the robotic blonde orchestra conductor…"

Glinda cut her off. "…and a green witch and a talking scarecrow," she finished happily.

Elemia rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that'll go over well."

"A talking scarecrow?" Ralmal's mom repeated pensievely. "Okay, then you can go."

Everyone stared at Ralmal with eyes that resembled these things question marks. Ralmal just shrugged.

"Well, what do you know," Elemia said. She noisily slurped the remains of her smoothie while she spoke. This is very hard to do.

Glinda continued speaking. "Just so we're in the clear, you understand that they might die on the ship. A storm might hit and they might all topple into the ocean, spiraling to their watery deaths."

"Nice Glinda," Elemia said sarcastically. "Like they're gonna let her go NOW." Ralmal looked deflated.

There was silence on the other line. "Uh...yeah, about that…" Ralmal's mom started.

Glinda cut in. "Just so we're clear, just so we're clear," she repeated sagely.

"Shut up Glinda," Ralmal snarled. "You sound like a parrot."

Guy X spoke into the phone. "Mrs. Ralmal's mom, we'll all be fine, I'll look out for Ralmal."

Ralmal smiled and turned pink. "AW…" everyone said. Lexa stared at the Elemia. Elemia stared at the Lexa. They both blushed, silently praying that the each would look out for the other just in case they did in fact die. (EA/N: …)

"Fine, great," said the Ralmal's mom. "Have fun."

Title: Part 2: Oxymorons, actual morons, and the Not-So-Innocent Dorothy

Warnings: major OOCness; over-usage of oxymorons; messed up WAFF

A/N: This is how we apologize for lack of updates: we post two chapters in one.

Disclaimer: Don't own it...

"Look at the view!"

"It's beautiful!"

"The ocean is so blue!"

"Okay okay…we get the point: it looks nice," Elemia said, effectively ruining the moment.

"Why so glum, chum?" asked the Celia in a voice that was FAR too perky for the moment.

"I'm sorry, just a mild case of PMS."

"There's no such thing as mild PMS," said the Celia.

"Hey, that's an oxymoron!"

The Celia brightened up. "Yeah, it is!"

The temporarily bipolar Elemia narrowed her eyes. "I hate those things."

Thus, everyone began speaking in oxymorons to annoy the living heck out of Elemia.

"Anarchy Rules!" (Danny)

"Hey, do you like my healthy tan?" (Paulina)

"No, I don't, its pretty ugly." (The Ralmal)

"I want some Kosher ham!" (The Larie, who was, indeed, Jewish.)

"Hey guys, you want to see my loose tights?!" (The Lexa)

"FOR THE LOVE OF THE AGNOSTIC'S GOD, NO!!" Everyone cried.

"Danny, can you get me some meatless meat?" (Sam)

"We're in the middle of nowhere, but would you like some jumbo shrimp?" (Danny)

"I WANT SOME WHITE CHOCOLATE!" (The Celia)

"Yo G, Icy Hot tastes pretty good, try that." (The Jake)

"That shit ain't good for ya..." muttered Elemia.

"I failed Basic Calculus." (Da Dash)

"I'm from the Middle East!" (Ralmal)

"The boat's still moving even though we dropped the big black thing…" (Scarecrow)

"You dimwit, that's the anchor!" (Witch)

"Same difference" (Still the Scarecrow)

"I am NOT gay! I'm just queerly straight!" (The Lexa)

"You're just plain old queer," remarked the Guan, who was not participating.

The Lexa looked hurt.

"My my, you're one sensitive guy aren't you Guan?" (The Ralmal)

Everyone (the girls) laughed at that one.

"I don't get it," said all the guys.

"I'm sensing an opposite attraction, wouldn't you agree, Paulina?" (Tucker)

"No," said the Paulina, who was out of oxymorons.

"Stop hitting on my girl, she wants deeply shallow people!" (the Cats)

"I'm a good witch!" (Glinda)

"Microsoft works!" (Danny) (EA/N: Hell yes! NERD JOKES!!!)

"ARGGH!" screamed Elemia. She then proceeded to stab the Celia, who started it all. The Celia was twitching on the floor while the other sitting pedestrians slowly shrank in fear.

"Never again," said the Elemia. Then she mentally slapped all of them with her mad mind-bitch-slapping skills.

And hardly anyone spoke an oxymoron again.

"OHMYGOSH! A storm is coming!" screamed the Celia in a state of panic.

And, indeed, a storm was coming their way.

"I told you we might die," muttered the Glinda.

"Glinda, you brainless sparkly bubble," the Witch shouted angrily. "Why'd you make me come on this trip?!? I'm getting seasick!"

"Well, you've always been green." Having heard the muttered sentence, the Witch glared at Glinda.

"What? Glinda asked stupidly.

"Just because you're normal colored doesn't give you the ri-WHOA!!" They were knocked over to the side of the boat, while everyone else followed suit. Its not like they had a choice, really. It was one heck of a storm.

"Ow, that flippin hurts!" cried Andrew.

"Everyone, inside!" ordered the Cats.

Thus, everyone entered inside the cabin of the boat. Everyone that is, except Lexa.

"Lexa, get in here now!" ordered Elemia.

"Aww…my uggs are on the other side of the boat!"

"Forget your stupid uggs and get in here before you die!"

"Aw man!" he whined, sauntering inside.

"Hey, that's my line, said the Jake, ticked that anyone would steal his phrase.

All of a sudden, thunder hit and everything went black.

"W-w-where are we?" asked the Ralmal.

"I don't know," said Guy X, helping her up.

"Where is my Danny, where is he?!" screeched Sam.

A hand shot up freakily from the sand. The person underneath the sand coughed.

"Oh Danny!" cried Sam, pulling out the blonde Danny. She started hugging the nearly lifeless form of the boy she loved. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, yeah." He smiled at her. "Thanks for pulling me out of that sandy death-bed."

"Anything for you, Danny."

"AW…" Ralmal squealed in fangirlish glee. Everyone else was too busy looking for any sign of where they could possibly be to notice the WAFF.

"GEEZ, where ARE we?" cried the Cats, poking the Glinda. She was too busy staring at a sign with her mouth hanging open to respond.

"Glinda, what's the matter with you?" asked the Witch. "You look like you've seen a-OH GEEZ!" Her face suddenly mirrored the Glinda's state of astonishment.

"You know, not all ghosts are evil," said the Danny, obviously miffed.

"What is wrong with you people?" asked the Scarecrow. "All this sign says is 'Welcome to Oz.' Whats so scary about tha-WHOA!"

You can only guess what he did then.

"You can read?" asked Ralmal.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" everyone else cried (collectively), not getting it.

"Oh…"

"…my…"

"…Ozness."

These lines were said by the three Ozians. (DUH WHO ELSE WILL IT BE?) I will not say the order of who said what line because it is not significant. Probably the last sentence was not significant either, but oh well.

Suddenly, a flash of lightening knocked them all unconscious.

Everyone was still recovering from the random flash of lightening.

"What in Oz was that?" cried the Scarecrow.

"Are we still at the Oz?" asked the Cats, who knew all about the Oz WHICH I DO NOT OWN.

"NO…" the Witch wailed. "We're in some deserted field, no where NEAR Oz!" She started crying. "I WANT TO GO BACK TO OZ! THERES NO PLACE LIKE HOME!"

They could all hear the Dorothy in their heads saying "Hey, MY line."

"You don't mean…" Glinda said, shocked. "KANSAS!!" (from this point on, we apologize to any Kansasians out there.)

The Glinda gasped. "NO CABLE!"

"NO DECENT EDUCATION!"

"NO SHOPPING MALLS!" Realizing this, the Glinda fainted. Cats caught her and he whipped out his emergency credit card and held it against Glinda's nose.

"THIS CAN BE YOURS IF YOU WAKE UP…PLEASE BUBBLYKINS…" pleaded the Cats. "...I NEED YOU…" (EA/N: O dear lord that sounds creepy…)

"Meh," said the Elemia, obviously creeped out by the messed up WAFF (Don't say I didn't warn you)

"I just noticed that Cats is forty and Glinda is like twenty." Ralmal commented.

"EW," the Celia screeched. "That's like the Ashton and the Demi Moore."

"What is THAT?"

"I don't know, what is that?"

"The heck?"

"STOP!" cried the Paulina, not getting it.

"Look, a house," the Larie observed. "AND I AM STILL AS ATHELETIC AS YOU, DASH!!"

"GET OVER IT!!" was the collective scream.

"Let's go inside," said the Elemia, the ever-so adventurous one. Thus, they all knocked the door down.

A red-haired girl was sitting there as the teen heroes knocked down said door.

"Geez, you guys could have knocked..." she said, sadly surveying the shattered splinters scattered about. (EA/N: Damn my alliteration is good.)

"We did…" said Danny, a mischievous gleam in his eye socket. "We knocked the door down!!"

"Smooth," said Sam sarcastically. What is this? Alliteration? Without underlining? BLASPHEMY!

"Who might you be?" Ralmal asked, trying to be polite.

The girl stood up and staggered over to them. She was wearing a blue mini skirt with a matching blue tube top and four-inch heels.

"Are you going to a party?" asked the Celia.

"The girl scoffed. "NO…this is my day outfit...don't you know anything?"

"We know that you look like a-" started the Elemia, but sadly, the Ralmal clasped a hand over her mouth before she could utter a single insult. (EA/N: Starts with a W, ends with a HORE. Starts with a S, ends with a LUT. Starts with a D, ends with an ANA. Just kidding, Dana. We love you…not like that…minds out of the gutters, children, minds OUT of the gutters.)

"Sorry," Ralmal said.

The girl rolled her eyes. "Whatever, goody-two-shoes."

"Ralmal gasped. "OH NO YOU DIDN'T!" she shouted, snapping her fingers in a ghetto tone. Elemia tried following suit, but failed. Not everyone can be as ghetto as Ralmal, who is not ghetto at all.

Everyone else was like '?'

"Man, you're cute!" said the Lexa, staring at the mysterious girl. He made the heart eyes.

The Elemia whacked him. "Staring is still not nice she muttered."

"Who are you?" asked the Larie, being blunt.

"I AM THE 2006 DOROTHY!!" the girl shouted, throwing her Fist of Righteousness ™ in the air.

COLLECTIVE GASP!

"SO YOU'RE THE ONE THAT DROPPED A HOUSE ON MY SISTER!" The Witch shouted, pointing a shaky finger at the 2006 Dorothy.

"Seriously, you need to get over it," said the Dorothy. She is NOT innocent like she portrayed herself as in the Wizard of Oz…that whole 'I'm so sorry I dropped a house on your sister' line was so sarcastic that it came off as innocent.

"I refuse to get over it!" the Witch shouted, throwing a few Fist of Righteousness ™ s of her own..

The Lexa winked at the Dorothy. "Hey..." he begain.

"EW, GET OFF ME YOU NASTY!" she screamed, shaking him off her. The Lexa cowered in a corner while his ever-so loyal friends tried to comfort him.

Sadly, no one moved.

"You're cute though" she said, fluttering her eyelashes at the Danny.

"BACK OFF, YOU!" cried the Sam jealous/protectively. She grabbed Elemia's screwdriver and drove them through the 2006 Dorothy's less-than-innocent eyes maliciously.

"AH MY EYES!!" Dorothy wailed.

"I give this eye-stabbing a 8.67516 out of 10," said Elemia, holding up a very large sign with many decimals. "You need more stabbity-stab anger, less Oh-em-gee-you-stole-my-bee-eff-biznatch anger."

"DON'T TALK TO MY DANNY EVER AGAIN!" cried the over-protective Sam, ignoring Elemia completely.

"I'm flattered?" asked Danny cautiously.

"MY BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL EYES!" cried the 2006 Dorothy.

It was at this point that Tucker randomly decided to say "...blood and veins and tears…OH MY!"

"Seriously, you need to get over it," the Witch commented sarcastically (and ironically).

"OH! DIS!!" cried the ever-so obsessed dissers, Guy X and Ralmal.

Paulina blinked. "Wait, was that a diss? I couldn't tell."

But The Dissers were all 'IGNORE!'

"WE NEED TO STRAIGHTEN THIS OUT RIGHT NOW!!" shouted the Glinda, who had miraculously regained consciousness. She peered into the 2006 Dorothy's face.

"ARE YOU A GOOD WITCH OR A BAD WITCH?"

"Whoa, calm down," the Larie, who had officially made it her hobby to tell people to calm down, said condescendingly.

"I AM CALM!"

"I'm not a witch," protested the 2006 Dorothy. Witches are old and ugly and have wrinkles!

"I DO NOT HAVE WRINKLES!" Glinda and Elphaba shouted together.

"Are you saying you're young, beautiful, and wrinkle-free? snapped the Witch (who is Elphaba), taking offense.

The 2006 Dorothy rolled her eyes. "Duh…"

"I like her," said the Paulina.

All of a sudden, a blonde dog WALKED into the room. Yes, you heard me, WALKED.

"What up, D?"

Practically everyone fainted.

"DID THE DOG JUST TALK?" is the general idea of what was interjected once they recovered.

The 2006 Dorothy stared at them. "Man, you guys are really dumb. If you guys went to my school, Kansas High…"

"How original," said the Elemia, rolling her eyes. (EA/N: Ironically, my initial reaction, in RL, was to roll my eyes. How amazing it is that Ralmal can forsee my reactions. :rolls eyes: )

The 2006 Dorothy continued. "...you'd be really smart. Why if every school had the brain, the heart, the courage of Kansas High, then education would truly be a magical place!"

Everyone was silent. The blonde dog tugged on the Dorothy's mini skirt. 'Stop it, Tutu!" she scolded.

There was a long, enduring silence which was eventually broken by Elemia's calm statement. "OH DEAR LORD IT SOUNDS LIKE BAD FANFICTION! MUST FLAME! MUST FLAME!" If the irony is lost on you, I suggest you start reading less fanfictions and learn more about the internet. Failing that, I hear the devil only charges your IMMORTAL SOUL for a life.

"That was the worst form of advertising I've ever heard in my life!" the Witch said.

"I've heard it before, but where?" asked the Scarecrow, stabbing his brain with his (strawy) fist.

"Man, you really are brainless," the 2006 Dorothy commented.

"I WANT TO GO CLUBBING!" cried the Larie.

"Let's GO!" was the general consensus.

"Can I come?" asked the 2006 Dorothy.

"NO!!" came the general shout, as all had cultivated some form of dislike towards the…no wait, I'm not allowed to say those words yet. Starts with a W, ends with a HORE!

She started sobbing in a corner, along with the Lexa, who was still sobbing from the 2006 Dorothy's rejection.

"Yo, Homies, can I come?" asked the Tutu.

"HECK YES!" everyone cheered.

And thus, they all went out the door, to the nearest club where they danced the night away. . . . . and yes, the 2006 Dorothy followed them, who was followed by the drooling Lexa. Can't people take no for an answer?

"Sing a Mariah Carey song!" Ralmal ordered, jabbing Elemia (painfully!) with her elbow.

"I am NOT singing a song by the Mariah!" Elemia protested.

Mariah Carey popped in randomly.

"What do you have against the Careyness?" she asked in a totally OOC fashion.. Elemia responded by stabbing her eyes out with one of her omnipresent screwdrivers.

"Dang it…" she said. "I should have insured my eyes for one million dollars instead of my legs!"

"LOOK GUYS, I HAVE MARIAH CAREYS EYES!" Elemia shouted happily.

"I WANT A PIECE!" everyone shouted in slightly-malicious fangirly glee.

Elemia divided the diva's eyes and handed everybody a piece, while the other people at the club gagged.

GAG!

All of a sudden, the music to Mariah Carey's song, 'Its Like That' filled the Club's speakers. Elemia had no choice but to sing. She ripped off her angsty clothes to reveal her tennis-style black short dress. (EA/N: The clothes are emo? What?)

"Whoa," said the Lexa.

Elemia blushed. "You have to sing with me Lexa, for revenge for the Hips Don't Lie…"

Everyone gagged as they remembered the Lexa's past performance.

The Lexa:

"Dis is, the point when I need everybody get to the dance floor
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
Da da da da, I like that y'all (that y'all)
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
Like da da da da, I like that y'all (that y'all) MC"

Elemia:

"I came to have a party
Open up the Bacardi
Feeling so hot tamale
Boy, I know you watchin' me
So what's it gonna be?
Purple taking me higher"

PURPLE!! cried the Ralmal happily.

Funny how a typo turns into a joke, isn't it?

"I'm lifted and I like it
Boy, you got me inspired
Baby, come and get it
If you're really feelin me

Cuz it's my night

No stress, no fights
I'm leavin it all behind
No tears, no time to cry
Just makin the most of life

Everybody is livin it up
All the fellas keep lookin' at us (cuz)
Me and my girls on the floor like what
While the DJ keeps on spinnin the cut
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
It's like da da da da, I like that y'all (that y'all)
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
It's like da da da da, I like that y'all (that y'all)

You like this and you know it
Caution, it's so explosive
Them chickens is ash and I'm lotion
Baby, come and get it
Let me give you what you need

It's a special occasion
Ele's emancipation"

"ALLITERATION!!" everyone shouted…but it was really just Ralmal with a loudspeaker.

"A cause for celebration
I ain't gonna let nobody's drama bother me

Cuz it's my night
No stress, no fights
I'm leavin it all behind
No tears (no tears), no time to cry
Just makin the most of life

Everybody is livin it up
All the fellas keep lookin at us (cuz)
Me and my girls on the floor like what
While the DJ keeps on spinnin the cut

It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
It's like da da da da, I like that y'all (that y'all)
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
It's like da da da da, I like that y'all (that y'all)

Cuz it's my night (it's my, it's my night)
No stress, no fights
I'm leaving it all behind
No tears (no tears), no time to cry
Baby, I'm making the most of life

Everybody is livin it up (I said everybody)
All the fellas keep lookin at us (lookin at us)
Me and my girls on the floor like what
While the DJ keeps on spinning the cut

This is my night"

The Lexa:

"Let's Go Now (what), let's go now (what)
Here we go now (what), here we go now (what)
Let's Go Now (what), let's go now (what)
Here we go now (what), here we go now (what)"

(The Lexa and the Elemia)

Let's Go Now (what), let's go now (what)
Here we go now (what), here we go now (what)
Let's Go Now (what), let's go now (what)

Here we go now (what), here we go now (what)"

"What was that?" cried the Celia.

The Elemia shifted her eyes. "I so didn't enjoy that," she said, surprising everyone by telling the truth. In her head, though, there was a little chibi-Ele going 'Singing with the Lexa…is not quite…so bad…'

All of a sudden, the DJ ripped off his face (EW) to reveal

..THE PRINCIPAL!

COLLECTIVE GASP!

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she cackled.

"What do you want?" Guy X asked, standing in front of everyone, including Ralmal.

Silently, the Noto grabbed the Ralmal and the Elemia and disappeared into a puff of pink smoke. The girls' screams were swallowed by the smokeness. Everyone just stood there, dumbfounded.

"WE HAVE TO SAVE THEM!" cried Guy X and the Lexa, who had gotten over the 2006 Dorothy.

What will happen now? Will Guy X and the Lexa succeed in rescuing their loved ones – I MEAN, their ever-so faithful friends? Will the 2006 Dorothy drop a house on Glinda this time? Will the Larie ever be mentioned more than five times in the next chapter? Will Glinda succeed in making everyone blonde? Will Paulina and Ralmal ever become friends? And WILL THE ELEMIA EVER CONFESS HER LOVE FOR THE LEXA?

Find out soon!! (Maybe not so soon on the last one)

Elemia's Omake

I Bring to Thee: "Dreams" (with singing! lol)

Believe it or Not, I dreamed this...random, i know...

The Celia's Dream:

The Celia:
They say he do a little of this
He do a little of that
He's always in trouble, and I heard
He ain't nothing but a pimp
He got a lot of chicks
He's always in the club
And they say he think he's slick
He got a lot of chips
He's so messed up, I heard
He's been locked up Find Somebody else
He ain't nothing but a thug
So what
So what
So what
So what

Jake Long: And they say I'm a

Ralmal: WHAT?

Jake: I'm a

Elemia: EW!

Jake: I'm a freak
I got a different girl every day of the week
You too smart to
You'd be a dummy to believe
That stuff that you heard
That they say about me
They say I done this
They said I done that
But all of it's fiction none of it's facts
But you don't be hearing that about your love
You let it go in one ear and out the other
The he say, she say, they say, I heard
The beef ain't, we can't let it get on our nerves
She miserable, she just want you to be
Like her misery needs company
So don't listen to that vine of grapes there
Nothing but liars hating I bet
They wouldn't mind trading places
With you by my side in my Mercedes

Jake:
Mo' money mo' problems
Life of a legend
Haters throw salt like rice at a wedding
So what, that's your cousin
That don't mean nothing
Her like missing in a tight of affection
You get, you just blind to the facts
See the lies, just obvious drives for attention
You to the fine just supply your suspicious
But listen, say you love me
Gotta trust me
Why you stress this high school mess
Break up never, they just jealous
Drama for your mama, mean mug for your brother
I'm the author of the book nigga judge by the cover, yes
I-I been to jail, yes
I-I'm grinding for real and
I'm positive, they talking negative pimp
They hate to see you doing better then them, so

Elemia: Ladies and gentlemen! The Celia!)

The Celia:
Some people don't like it
'Cause you hang out in the streets
But you're my boyfriend
You've always been here for me
This love is serious
No matter what people think
I'm gon' be here for you
And I don't care what they say
Some people don't like it
'Cause you hang out in the streets
But you're my boyfriend
You've always been here for me
I like the thug in you
No matter what people think
I'm gon' be here for you
And I don't care what they say
He do a little of this
He do a little of that
He's always in trouble, and I heard
He ain't nothing but a pimp
He got a lot of chicks
He's always in the club
And they say he think he's slick
He got a lot of chips
He's so messed up, I heard
He's been locked up Find Somebody else
He ain't nothing but a thug
So what
So what
So what
So what

Elemia: ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Tucker's Dream(lol):

...Paulina is standing off to one side...

Tucker:
The young boy just turned 16
And I got 64's and hot bikes that I rock
Keep 3 or 4 sweeties on my clock,
But all that swinging in that bikini just make 'em dizzy.
Slow all the traffic down to a complete stop,
'cause you speaking that slang that I talk.
That sassy tempo with that walk,
Maybe the reason that all this teenies may never see me. Momma you may be 3 years older but you hot (gimme that)
You be talking like you like what I got (gimme that)
I know you like it how I lean in the 'lac,
You could be in the back saying (gimme, gimme, gimme) Momma you may be 3 years older but you hot (gimme that)
You be talking like you like what I got (gimme that)
I know you like it how I lean in the 'lac,
You could be in the back saying (gimme, gimme, gimme) Ma, take a break, let me explain to you,
What ya body got a young boy ready to do.
If you take a chance to let me put them things on you,
I could show you why I make them straight A's in school.
I'm a HUSTLA! Trust my frame and age.
Got you thinking that I'm just too young to turn your page.
I can PICTURE! Us switching lanes in the coupe
With you on the phone screaming my name. Momma you may be 3 years older but you hot (gimme that)
You be talking like you like what I got (gimme that)
I know you like it how I lean in the 'lac,
You could be in the back saying (gimme, gimme, gimme)

Elemia: HAHA...Tucker...you WISH!

Salad Appeareth!

Salad: sniffle you always liked her more...didn't you... sniffle
Tucker: um...uh.. guilt!
Salad: sniffle sniffle sniffle
Tucker: uh...
Salad: STUPID! :hits him with her calculator and runs away, crying:

Elemia's Dream(random this is): Here's hoping nobody from Chinese school reads this fic

WARNING: Doesn't make sense if you're not asian.

WARNING: Doesn't make sense if you're not Asain, not Chinese, and haven't heard the song before.

Elemia:
tian tian dou xu yao ni ai,
wo de xing shi you ni cai,
I love you,
wo jiu shi yao ni rang wo mei tian dou jing cai

Irvin:
Woah...wo-a-a-oh...

Elemia:twitch:
tian tian ba ta gua zhui bian
dao di shen me shi zhen ai
I love you
dao di you ji fen shuo de bi xiang xiang geng kuai

Guan:
shi wo men gang qing feng fu tai kang kai
hai shi shang tian ang pai
shi wo men ben lai jiu shi na yi ban
hai shi she bu de tai guai
shi na yi chi yue ding le mei you lai
rang wo ku de xiang xiao hai
shi wo men ji zhe zheng ming wo chun zai
hai shi bu ai hui fa dai baby

Elemia+Guan:
bu de bu ai,

Guan:
bu zhi kuai le chong he er lai,

Elemia+Guan:
bu de bu ai,

Guan:
fang xia bei shang chong he er lai,

Elemia+Guan
bu de bu ai,

Guan:
fou zhi wo jiu shi qu wei lai

Elemia+Guan:
hai xiang shen me you qi bu neng zhi ji shi bai
ke shi mei tian dou guo de jing cai

Elemia:
tian tian dou xu yao ni ai
wo de xing zhi you ni zai
I love you
wo jiu shi yao ni rang wo mei tian dou jing cai

Irvin: Woah-wo-a-o-oh...

Elemia:
tian tian ba ta gua zhui bian
dao di shen me shi zhen ai
I love you
dao di you ji fen shuo de bi xiang xiang geng kuai

Brandon:
I ask my girlfriend how you been
qu le ji hui
wo chong lai mei you xiang guo ai qing hui bian de ru chi wu nai,
shi ming yun ma, nan dao nan guo shi shang tian de an pai,
mei ban fa,
tian tian de mei tian de xing shi dao di you shui lai pei,
wo cheng xin, ni cheng yi
dan zhou wei rao ren huan jin shi zhong rang wo men wu fa zai zhi li zhi you xiang lian
wo jin cai, ni fa dai,
liang ke xin bu an de yao bai,
ying gai you de wei lai,
shi fou zhen ne na me wu fa qi dai
she bu de zai shang hai,
you're my girl my girl my friend
how much I love you

Brandon+Guan:
So, so much, baby...

Brandon:
kan zhe ni ai chou
yao wo ru he zhen me cheng shou mian dui
I'm sorry you're my sweetheart
my love
my one and only baby

Elemia+Guan:
bu de bu ai,

Guan:
bu zhi kuai le chong he er lai,

Elemia+Guan:
bu de bu ai, Guan:
fang xia bei shang chong he er lai,

Elemia+Guan
bu de bu ai,

Guan:
fou zhi wo jiu shi qu wei lai

Elemia+Guan:
hai xiang shen me you qi bu neng zhi ji shi bai
ke shi mei tian dou guo de jing cai

Guan:
hui bu hui you yi dian wu nai

Elemia:
hui bu hui you yi dian tai kuai

Guan+Elemia:
ke shi ni gei wo de ai
rang wo yang cheng le yi lai

Irvin+Guan:
xing zhong chong man ai de jie pai

Elemia:
tian tian dou xu yao ni ai
wo de xing shui you ni zai
I love you
wo jiu shi yao rang ni mei tian dou jing cai

Irvin:
Woah...wo-a-o-oh...

Elemia:
tian tian ba ta gua zhui bian
dao di shen me shi zhen ai
I love you
dao di you ji fen shuo de bi xiang xiang geng kuai

Elemia: um...sappy chinese song...and it could only be done right by my chinese class!!
Ralmal: I thought we were over the Guan already
Elemia: ...it's JUST a song...
Ralmal: riiiiiiiight...

Salad's Dream:

Salad:
I am really special cuz there's only one of me
look at my smile, I'm so damn happy, other people are jealous of me
when I'm sad and lonely, I like to sing this song
it cheers me up and shows me that I won't be sad for long

oh oh oh

I'm so happy, I can barely breathe
puppy dogs and sugar frogs and kittens, baby teeth
watch out all you mothers, I'm happy, it's hardcore
happy as a coupon for a $20 whore

ha-ha-ha haha

I'm really happy, I'm sugar coated me,
happy, good, anger, bad, that's my philosophy

I can't do this, man. I'm not happy.

I am really special, cuz there's only one of me
Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy, other people are jealous of me
These are my lovehandles, and this is my spout,
but if you tip me over, then mama said knock you out

I am special, I am happy, I am gonna heave
welcome to my happy world, now get your shit and leave
I am happy, I am good, I am...

I'm Outta Here! Screw You!

Dash's Dream:

Tucker:
Here we are
Dear old friends
You and I, drunk again
Laughs have been had
Tears have been shed
Maybe the whisky has gone to my head
But if I were gay
I would give you my heart
And if I were gay
You'd be my work of art
And if I were gay
We would swim in romance
But I'm not gay..
So get your hand out of my pants

It's not that I dont care
I do
I just dont see myself IN you
Another time another scene
I'd be right BEHIND you
if you know what i mean
Cuz if I were gay
I would give you my soul
And if I were gay
I would give you my whole...being
And if I were gay
We would tear down the walls
But I'm Not gay
So won't you stop cupping my Ba... Hand

We've never hugged
We've never kissed
I've never been intimate with your fist
You have opened brand new doors
Get over here and drop ... your ...
Drawers

Elemia: What in the...
Ralmal: No swearing.Elemia: god:beeep: why the :beeeep: can't I :beeep: swear? i mean, it's not like i :beeeep: say :beeep: in every :beeeep: sentence!
Ralmal: (heard it before it was edited) ...oh my lord...