TITLE: Can't get you out of my head

AUTHOR: caz

EMAIL: Meridian is the main one but it relates to a lot other episodes as well.

SEASON/ SEQUEL: It's set kinda a few months after meridian so… no Daniel (but no Jonas yet)

RATING: PG (to be on the safe side)

SUMMARY: Yet more Tok'ra technology, what could possibly go wrong this time?

AUTHOR'S NOTES: a bit of a soppy self-indulgent chapter, what can I say? I'm a die-hard romantic. Also I am sorry it has taken so long to finish this. Thank you for all the great reviews!

'Mmmm… what a beautiful night.'

'Yeah, it's so clear, lucky night for us to be stargazing sir.'

'I'm just full of good ideas!'

'Full of something all right!'

They were outside of the base but still within the base's perimeter and they had been walking for a considerable while. It was quite cold, hence the clear sky for stargazing. Sam had her arms folded and Jack was swinging his arms as he strode on ahead.

'When did you become so sarcastic?'

'Ask yourself sir.'

'I don't know where you could possible get the idea that I'm sarcastic Carter.' He smiled his charming cheeky grin and Sam looked down at the ground, then smiled herself.

'Here.' Jack stopped. They were at the top of a large-ish hill that was part of the Cheyenne complex, the same spot that Daniel had sent the message to the Nox for the Tolans. You could see the sky for miles and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. They were far enough from the base, and the rest of civilisation, that there was no light pollution. The usually visible stars glistened like large diamonds against a velvet backdrop and those stars that were usually invisible glinted like silver dust across the sky. They both lay down on their backs on the cold damp grass.

'Oh my god.'

'What?'

'I can see Ursa Minor.'

'Yeah, it's beautiful.'

'It's so amazing to think that we are looking at a hydrostatic equilibrium between the heat and turbulence generated by the fusion in the star formation process, and the gravitational pressure of the universe. I mean…'

'Carter!!!!'

'What?'

'Stop it!!!!'

'Stop what?'

'That!!!!!'

'What?'

'The science thing!!!'

'But it's fascinating!'

'No. It's beautiful.'

'I…'

'Look, forget the science, forget the Just look.'

'Ok.'

'See? There's Orion.'

'I wish we could do this more often.'

'What? Lie on cold damp ground? We do that a lot!'

'No. I mean stargaze.'

'Charlie loved to look at the stars. I would take him up onto the roof and we would sit for hours. I would tell him the names and he begged me to make up stories about them.'

Carter sat up and turned to look at Jack, he didn't turn to look at her though, he just carried on looking at the stars.

'I can't even begin to imagine what you went through.'

'I'll never forget the sound. I knew straight away. There was so much blood, you would think I would be used to it, but this was different. Sarah never forgave me. I never forgave myself. She never said it was my fault but we both knew it was. After she left, I just shut down. Then one day I was asked to go on a dangerous mission.'

'Abydos.'

'I thought, I hoped, it would be the last.' He paused, sighed and closed his eyes. On opening them, he began again. 'Then I met Daniel.'

'You didn't like him at first.'

'No, I didn't not like him, I wanted to thump him.'

'But that changed.'

'Yeah, it did.'

'I can't believe he's gone.'

'He's not really…'

'Is he here? With us?'

'No.'

'Then he's gone, just like always.'

'Carter?' Jack sat up and turned to his right so he was looking at Carter who was sitting hugging her knees.

'Why does this always happen? I feel like everything I touch just turns to dust. Mum, Martouf, Nareem, Orlin, Daniel. So many times when I have felt like I was losing you or Teal'c or Cassie… I just… I…' Carter collapsed sobbing, her blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight. Jack's face was wrought with concern and he pulled Sam towards him and held her tight.

'I don't know what I would do without you.'

'Well you'd get more work done for a start.'

She pulled back a little and looked into his dark eyes.

'I mean it. Every time we step through that gate I pray that I won't loose you.'

Jack put a hand to her cheek and used his thumb to wipe away a tear.

'You'll never loose me because then I would loose you and I'll never let that happen.'

'Sometimes I wish…'

'I know.'

'We keep tip-toeing around it.'

'I know.'

'It's so hard sometimes.'

'I know.' Jack had taken his hand away from her face and was gazing at the ground, her eyes were fixed on him.

'I love you.'

'I… what?' He turned, surprised, and looked into her eyes.

'I had to say that.'

'You know that after tonight things will go back to normal.'

'I know, that's why I had to tell you that now.' Jack lay back down and held his right arm out.

'Come here.'

Carter lay snuggled into him, with her head on his chest. He put his arm around her.

'So if you love me, how come you seem to have an admirer on every planet?'

'I can't help it if I'm popular!'

'You mean a flirt!'

'Well… what about you and Anise?'

'You know how I feel about that…'

'And Lara?'

'That was different! I thought I was never coming home!'

'And Kynthia?'

'She drugged me!!!'

They both smiled and lay there for a while.

"Carter?"

"Mmmm?"

"I love you too."