Title: What You Didn't Understand, You Do Now

Author: Varu

Diclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Claimer: All characters used in this fiction are either my own or used by permission of the owners.

Warnings: Darkfic/Noncon, Het.

The rain had come down harder and sooner than she had thought it was going to, drenching her to the bone. Her clothes all stuck to her skin and to make it worse, the wind had picked up and she was freezing. Mika had been in water country for 3 days now on that stupid mission and it looked like she was going to be here a fourth.

"Achuu!" She suddenly sneezed. Lovely, now she was going to get sick. Looking around the old broken houses of the poor city, she tried to find one that maybe she recongnized, but nothing was familar in these times. Ever since the fall of the great shinobi lords and overthrowing of the unified village's leader, Neji, everything had turned to hell. Missions were hardly conducted, the economy was fallen, almost all acadmeys were closed and so many good people had been broken or used or killed. Like her wife's mother, Varu who died protecting her children and family, a true tragidy. No one ever knew what happened to Xaos after that...He kind of dissapeared.

Lightning struck above her again, lighting up the sky and drawing Mika back from her thoughts. Thinking no more on the loss of their lives and paying it all very little more attention from that point, Mika ducked onto a haphazard porch to try to avoid the rain and wiped her face with the back of her hand to get the water from her eyes. When seeing was a possiblilty again, Mika gazed about the dark homes nearby that ended with a sigh and the realization she knew no one out here.

She really needed to find somewhere to stay though, she couldn't sleep outside like she had the last few days. She would catch her death that way. Honestly, the forests were safer than the cities now-a-days but unless she could build a housing or find one to sleep in (whether it was inside or out) she was fucked.

Her eyes moved from house to house again looking for an inn or something but as before, all that met them was more and more closed up, dark houses. Near giving up Mika turned south, about to step back into the pouring rain when a fearful shape dashed by on the other side of the street, slinking like a shadow ittself. Fear creep into her seeing the damp, dark form run alongside the side of that far house but reminded herself...it could have been anything, stop being paranoid.

But the dark creature, all she could tell is it was a creature and not a human, stopped walking like it noticed her fear and turned its large head directly at her. Her heart stopped as two green eyes gleened out, staring at her so very nightmarish. Just then, lightning struck again revealing the creature to be a large, dark wolf. All she had needed was that quick flash to see him; a full formed, adult wolf that by no means looked starved or weak. She quickly looked left and right, searching for an escape in case the beast found her to be good prey but to her eternal surprise, the wolf did nothing; just stared at her for a long time. It seemed as though it recognized her too, even if that was impossible. But still after she found an out, Mika didn't have the guts to take it with his piercing gaze pinning her thin and shivering form motionless.

So she waited, looking back as her fear flowed from her; she was sure the wolf could smell it on her body by now. The wolf seemed to look at his surroundings then begin across the puddle ridden street, making his way her direction. The difference was, the hound didn't seem to be stalking her like prey, just approaching her in a hurry.

She held her breath, waiting for his attack that didn't come. The wolf gave a small wuff then turned back away from her and started down the road. She stood in shock watching him, not sure if that wolf had wanted her to follow it or not. She must be crazy to think that. The wolf turned back about 20 feet down from her and growled. Mika's feet moved from under her with that, finding herself following the beast with the most beautiful green eyes she had ever seen.

The two walked through the city to the forest. The further from the town she walked, the more fear pitted in her belly.

'What am I doing...he's probably just so smart, he's leading me away and going to EAT me' Mika thought and paniced to herself. She kept her eyes on the wolf's back the whole time, keeping some distance between their bodies until finally, about a half mile's walk in the massive shower, they reached a cave. It was black as pitch and the wolf trotted right in but Mika stopped, cowering away from the frightening entrance.

She thought she should bolt for it when a thought washed over her: What was really more frightening anymore, the wolf? Or the people of these times. The wolf would at worst kill and eat her. The people however...they would do much worse. And he didn't eat her by now so...giving it a chance, the girl waited no longer and with a huge rumbling of the sky, Mika walked in after the wolf.

Her senses weren't as good as other shinobi and she stumbled over a few rocks in the dark as she tred in past the entrance and into the nothingness before her.

"Um..wolfy...where are you?" Mika whispered, feeling lost and more frightened, again second guessing her decisions, but as before, the wolf gave a wuff ahead of her and coaxed her forward. She followed the sound and swallowed the lump in her throat. She tripped up many times, stubbing her toe twice, nearly twisted her ankle and smacked her forehead into a low ledge of rock before finally getting a glipse of any sign of light which was emitting softly from the back of the cave. The light was a beckon, moving her feet much faster which she surprisingly didn't hit anything else before reaching it.

And as she took her last quickened steps, the small light became a full, flickering one that filled a small room at the very back of the cave. It was clean and primitive and definately a human's living area. There was a make shift bed on the leftside with torn blankets and some furs layed over the dry rock, a stack of partially folded clothes near the foot of it and a collection of shinobi traps and weapons stewn on the other side.

The wolf was standing near the bed watching her look about the room with a tame look on its face and after Mika took in all the look and views of the tiny room she turned her eyes back to the wolf's as well. They observed each other for a long while. Apparantly deciding something, the wolf flicked his tail 'tick-tock' once to either side then wuffed again. He pawed the bed and then trotted off passed her and out of sight into the mouth of the darkness behind her, his long thick fur brushing against her bare side. Mika stood stunned for a time, following the wolf's form with her eyes for as long as she could still see him then when he went from sight she turned her back to the void of the cave and to the bed and thought it was best if she did get some sleep. She thought that's what the wolf was getting at anyway when he had pawed the bed.

Four or five steps was all it took to reach the bedding and turned on her heels, dropping quietly to perch on the hard bed. Either hand plopped onto the covers on either side of her and she breathed out, relaxing and letting the drain of the day start to fall from her shoulders. She closed her eyes and tipped her fair head back. As she rest motionless and relaxed for a short time, Mika's fingers caught the feel of coarse hairs tickling her skin. Wolf hair. There was an abundance of fur on this bed, and with it she realized that even if this was a human looking den, this was in fact just a wolf den now. Maybe the previous owner had left it. A shiver ran through her body then and she pulled back up to attention, remembering she was soaked and going to catch a cold or a fever if she didn't get out of the clothes she was wearing.

Mika dragged her hands from the soft blanket and reached to the edge of her black shirt, riding high on her ribcage as is and peeled it off her body adn over her head. She tossed the piece to the floor, too tired to care to lay it flat then brought her hands back to her chilled skin and did the same to her black pants and purple panties. She then dropped her shinobi pouches near the bedside and crawled under the top two blankets and layed on her back.

It wasn't comfortable and the rock hurt but it was better than outside or that city. It was dry and shortly, was warm. Mika hadn't known how tired she was and the girl knocked out only minutes after she first closed her eyes.

Sometime during the night however, the dark gray wolf returned. The sound of his nails clicking against the rock woke her as she was sleeping attentivly and very lightly like any good shinobi should. She focused to keep her breathing even and slow as if she was still asleep but she lay with her eyes open, facing the wall and listening in.

The clicking ended as the wolf moved into the room and seemed to settle on the other side, sitting down. She strained to listen for his movement and couldn't quite understand what she was hearing only moments later..like fur ruffling then it was gone. Her curoiusity got to her after long minutes of silence and as quietly as she could, the girl turned her head to look out, her cheek pressed hard to the rock floor.

Every part of her jumped at the sight. It wasn't a wolf anymore, it was a man. A naked man sitting with his knees up and elbows hooked at either one with hands clasped in the front to keep them from falling open. His head was turned so his profile was easily seen in the dim light.

Xaos. He was alive.

The joy at seeing him was almost enough to make her move until she caught a glimpse of his eyes.

His eyes alone froze her. They were...well they couldn't be explained as anything else but mad; Empty, hollow madness. She looked at him nearly gap mouthed, feeling utterly shocked though she supposed she shouldn't be. Her view, however, was quickly distracted as he raised his hand to his face, bringing a crumpled piece of paper before her eyes, held fast with two fingers. She watched confused as his expression changed from hollow to sorrowful and not meekly so. The look from his eyes now was one of such pain and loss. Anguish was slashed across his features so evidently it was like someone had written it in perminant marker over his forehead.

'So then the paper must be a picture', she assumed to herself, mentaly speaking rather than verbally.

The thought came to her then that maybe she should go back to sleep and let him be; speak to him in the morning but that every instant, Xaos spoke to her.

"Mika..right?" He spoke no more than a whisper but enough for her to hear his voice was cracked and rough like he hadn't spoken in months.

She didn't know how to respond other than a quick nod but If he had seen it, he didnt show it Minutes stretched on in silence before either moved an inch but when someone did, it was him. He dropped his arm and lowered the picture from his face, placing it down tenderly beside his bare hip then closed his weary green eyes with a sigh and leaned his head back against the stone wall. And as before, the two sat in silence. The only change for the next 30 minutes was small flickers of light against stone emitted from the dying fire in the center of the room.

Mika decided to sit up then, unable to stay quiet anymore and even less willing to go back to sleep. Besides, he was still her father-in-law, was he not?

"Xaos..." She began, her honey toned voice echoed oddly in the gray room, "We all thought you were dead..."

But he didn't stur, just sat as he was.

She thought a few seconds then tried again, "No one saw you leave. We all just assumed you HAD died, I mean, they took you off the bingo book months ago." But as before, Xaos didn't seem to listen to her words.

His endless silence started to prick her nerves though. Maybe she should try something a little more personal, maybe then he'd react. There had been...certain rumors about him. Ones no one had liked to talk about anymore but to some, they never left their minds; always an unspoken mentioned his name. Things about his wife and what he did...or didn't do about her death. Licking her dry lips, Mika leaned forward to perhaps try and get his attention more.

"Well then, what about Varu? You know what happened to her?" Those words did do something as she thought, however. The man across the room tensed faintly and cracked his eyes open enough to glare at her dangerously. Mika had, had to comfort her wife for months over the loss of her mother. Had heard all the stories Remika wasn't afriad to tell about Xaos. Partof her wanted him to hurt for what he had done but part of her desperately wanted to hear the words weren't true.

"Why didn't you do anything? Why did you just let her die?" She hadn't meant to but as she spoke, her volume had increased, echoing louder against the stone. His glare had turned to venom but she hadn't noticed, far too busy speaking what she never got the chance to.

"Didn't you care?" Her next words though were too much. She didn't even feel the air change or even get the chance to blink before Xaos was across the room and on her. His callosed hand gripped her face and covered her purple hued lips and with such ease and strength, cracked her skull savagely against the stone wall behind her.

Pain shot through her body followed by a wave of nausia. Blood started to trickle down the back of her neck and tears fell from her eyes as she dizzily looked at his, his scruffy face only a mere few inches from her own.

"Shut. Up." He growled, a sound both human and wolf but neither one or the other alone. Pain and fear pulsed through her as she stared at his hating eyes. They were so green, maybe jade and were wolf-kin; so familar but now so different. He hated her, he hated everything, it was painfully obvious.

Sooner than she expected, not that she thought he was going to spare her at all, he dropped his hand away from her mouth and clambered away from her, curling up to his knees about 10 feet away.

Mika shivered and swallowed down, forcing herself to relax. She brought her right hand up to the back of her head and felt how wet it was, coating her fingers with the slick red blood still leeking from her wound.

Now, Mika had always been a caring girl, a loving one and meant well but for all her kindness, and a smart girl but no one would have vouched for that today. She should have shut up there and dropped it but she didn't, sure to herself she needed answers and maybe...if he just opened up she could bring him back to his senses. If she had stayed silent then, it may have spared her, but lifting her chin defiantly she spoke again to him, blindly ignoring the rage that had just confronted her moments before.

"Xaos...please. It was hard for all of us but talk to me. Were the rumors true? What really happened during the overthrow?" He stayed mercifully quiet as she spoke which she foolishly mistook for opening up, "Why did you leave us, why did you leave her? Protecting her was your job! They killed her and you just ran away!" Xaos's body shook from restraint, his last bit of humanity stretching to the breaking point but she still didn't take heed.

"You let her die, didn't you!?" It was too late though. She had spoken too much to stop what she started and like a blur, he was on her, much faster than she could respond. His strong hands wrapped around her throat and slammed her body and back flat onto the rock floor, shattering two ribs on impact and all she could do is shreik in intense and sudden agony.

His eyes were filled with rage and hatred as his hands tightening on her throat with the intent to kill.

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!" He screamed, shaking her body under him hatefully. "I fought for her!! I tore apart more of those TRAITORS than ANY of YOU!! I didn't leave her!!"

His voice hiccupped once as water filled his eyes. The memory haunted him every day and every night, beating him to near insanity. "I WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME...SAW HER EYES BEG ME, HEARD HER SCREAM TO SAVE OUR BOY!!!!" His breath hissed out from between clenched teeth and sharpened canines. She could feel spit on her face from his enraged words and his tears drop onto her cheek. His next words weren't screamed anymore though, loathing and mourned but not screaming.

"The truth?!" He spat. "The truth is I couldn't stop them... They caught me while I was trying to save my son. Bound me, cut me off from my chakra and dragged me back to watch them k-kill him and her both. They pulled Kaelas over by his hair and slit his throat over her, letting his blood pour over her face and chest! Made her watch the life leave his eyes! But they didn't just kill her next, no, they broke her.."

His hands loosened on Mika's neck then, even to breathe but not even close to enough for her to escape, forcing himself to not kill her yet and give her air. He was so lost in the memories now too, living it all again in his head.

"One at a time, they mounted her...raping her again and again. They violated every part of her and rode her til she was begging for it to stop. My Varu...BEGGING!! Begging me to save her!!" His frame shuddered with revolusion and long-endured pain. "But even then, they didn't stop and didn't kill her til she stopped fighting, tears running from her eyes...looking at me and limp..broken in their hands and...he...kissed her lips before tearing her throat out with his bare hand."

By now, his voice had fallen to a harsh whisper, toned like the dead. He stayed over her unmoving for so long, tears flowing from his clenched eyes and sobs wracked his body. Mika dared not even breath now, staring up at Xaos. He was gone, his mind anyway she could see that and she wasn't sure what to say..so afriad to set off the timebomb he was again and this time, get killed. Minutes stretched on endlessly until all his tears had dried and his closed eyes seemed relaxed along with the rest of his features. Maybe..he was going to let her go now but as if he read her mind, his eyes opened. Green to blue and all the human left in him was gone.

"Xao.." She never even got to finish as his hands grabbed both her wrists in one hand and snapped either like twigs with a gruesome cracking sound.

Mika screamed out in agony, vomit welling in her throat that she managed to swallow back down before choking on it. Xaos's body was like a weapon itsself, honed, powerful and dangerous and he wasn't going to restain one bit of it on the girl.

"And you think I did nothing. You and everyone else. Believe what you want...I'll let you feel her pain." He spoke to her with such calm, as if he wasn't even fazed by his actions in the least. And with that, he grabbed Mika's bare side and turned her over, letting go of her useless hands for only a minute to press her belly into the hard rock floor then regrab her and pull back on her broken wrists once more, causing emmense pain to flow through the helples girl.

Mika cried and pleaded for him to stop the whole time though, begging him not to do this to her, telling him to be better than them but it all fell on deaf ears. His hands were relentless and brutal, twisting her broken bones and tearing muscle. Sobs wracked her body as the hand that had turned her over pushed her bare legs open suddenly.

Mika's body screamed in protest, not wanting to believe him to do this to her. 'Please' she begged endlessly, like a mantra.

"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, NO, PLEASE!!"

The man over her ignored her still though, closing his emerald eyes and brought his free hand to the soft flesh hanging between his legs. He pictured things that were much too private and beautiful for such an act but without them, he could never get aroused enough to give this girl what she deserved and began to pull at his shaft. He loved her, his wife. He hadn't let himself think of her in this way ever since that day but pleaded in his mind she would forgive him for using their beautiful memories to arouse him to touch another. And those memories were so private and wonderful indeed. The feel of her soft, scarred breasts in his hands. He could still feel them if he thought about it enough. He could also still feel her pouted lips over his penis. His dick twitched at that. She really could swallow him completely. Yes. Then there was the sweet taste of her pussy, the feel of her folds moving to his tongue and the heat of her hole as he pushed into her as far as he could and how she moaned from that. That last thought brought his cock to full arousal and he pulled away from his memories, putting them back onto his mental shelves and locking the door once again. His love for her would never fade but right now was no place to show that love.

Steeling his heart again, Xaos looked down at the shivering girl benieth him, tearing him back to reality instantly. The lingering sorrow hiding away behind the rage bubbling like poisen at his mind again. Knowing waiting was pointless, he pressed the tip of his hard rod against the entrance of the girl's pussy and grabbed her hip with his hand, lifting up her buttocks for an easy angle.

Right before he pushed into her though, he leaned over her and pulled up on her arms. "Feel her pain..my pain...They raped her just to get to me. Just like this..." His voice was like venom when he spoke and ignoring her pleads, pushed forward, sheathing his cock in her completely and tore her flesh because she had only ever been taken by one other male before.

Mika's whole body arched in pain "PLEAASE S-STOP!" She begged, hiccups fouling her words. But he didn't listen, just flexed his hips, withdrawing his cock then slammed it into her again and again. The blood from the tear made the thrusts smoother, more slick and her blood soon coated his dick completely, dripping down his balls and onto the lightly blanketed rock floor beneith them.

His breath picked up and he groaned but there was no real pleasure in this for him. The body felt and betrayed the mind and heart soon but he reminded himself this was a lesson and no matter how many times he came, it wasn't real betrayal. His hand held tight to her wrists, pulling back further, starting to pull the arms from their sockets. His cock pulsed and throbbed inside of her, seeking release from the endless pounding he was giving the girl but he denied himself that, not done with her. He stopped suddenly, holding her still and leaned down over her like before.

Sweat dripped from his chest onto her back as he whispered vile and full of hate in her ear.

"Then they switched holes..." Mika's strength kicked back up to full, trying to fight him with all her strength.

"XAOS PLEASE NO!!!" She screamed into the blankets under her, writhing against his stronger hold fruitlessly. "P-please..." She whimpered between broken tears.

His ears heard her words but they couldn't reach his broken heart. His hand held fast to his cock as he slid the flesh out of her and pushed the slippery tip to her anus. She was clenching her muscles hard, he could see her fighting to keep him out. She didn't want this, it seemed, more than anything and the thought sickly amused him that maybe she was seeing a taste of how bad his love had, had it. He didn't wait for her to relax or accept it and pushed against her with a grunt, forcablly shoving the head of his dick passed the tight ring of muscle. If it was possible for her screams to get louder, he thought they just had.They amplified to blood curtling and mixed with painful sobs, wracking her body up. But none of it could detur him. She had to understand before she could pass judgement.

His solid, darkened hand that was holding her wrists finally let go and moved to grip her hips along with the other, digging into her skin with his long, dirty fingernails and both of her thin arms fell unless to the ground beside her. He pulled the girl's backside towards him at the same time he pushed forward, tearing her internal muscle and slicking his now throbbing cock with slippery, smooth blood. The extra lubricant made it much easier to slip passed her overtightened muscles that were screaming in protest to the forced entry.Though dispite the tearing, the muscles remained tight and clenched, only letting him get in about halfway.

Xaos growled angrily and pulled back until only the very tip was still in her then thrust forward again hard. This time she gave in, unable to fight against the brute force and his cock then slipped fully into her tiny asshole: soft cheeks firmly pressed to hard male hips.

At once it became evident he had to pause though. The physical pleasure of her tight anus was so strong he bit his lip until it bleed, fighting off his so close orgasm. Some sticky seed had escaped into her but he held back with a gasp. The girl didn't even move anymore, he noted, just lay limply down except for her rump perched high in the air. Her eyes were open and empty and tears flowed from the corners like little rivers, damping the bit of cloth under her head. He turned his eyes back away from her face, looking down at where they were connected. He had let sympathy invade his mind and felt the gentlier side of him, the part that loved his children and his wife tell him to stop. It told him he was no better than the ones that took away his beloved.

"That's not true!!" He yelled out suddenly into the chilled cave, causing the girl below him to shiver anew. "I won't kill her in the end! I'm teaching her a lesson!! Shut UP XAOS!" He bellowed and grit his teeth, intent on defeating himself now. The wave of need had passed and with new found deturmination, he pierced her hips with his nails and slid back, her tight walls pulling at the smooth skin of his erection then viciously drove his dick back into her, sheathing within her entirely and made a slap sound from his balls hitting her damp pussy.

He didn't relent then, pushing and pulling, fucking the girl wildly which had started the screams from her again. Her should be useless hands clawed at the ground and weakly tried to save the girl from her captor. His breath hissed from between his teeth and his chest rose and fell faster and faster as his cock pumped in and out of her faster and faster. Blood trailed down the outsides of her pale, quivering legs from the nails digging further and further into her skin and more dripped down his balls and some from her pussy onto the ground.

The pressure of release built up again within him but he hardly noticed it as pleasure and after many more hard, painful thrusts into her, not only was blood coating his cock now but his white, hot cum was streaked into the red over his skin. He shook violently from the release and reached around to her neck and pricked his nails in. His voice couldn't stay calm as his body spasmed and shot into the sobbing girl.

"T-then they tore her throat out...and she d-d..." He couldn't quite say it, tears choking him up and with that, he pushed her down and away from her. He let her neck go instead of killing the girl and weakly crawled from her, not even caring to keep from stepping on her and to the otherside of the cave where she first found him upon waking.

Xaos leaned his sweat covered back against the cold stone wall and drew his knees to his chest, leaving the blood and sweat and cum to dry on his skin without a care. Mika couldn't move, couldn't barely breathe and she was terrified to even budge in case he decided yet to kill her. Her face had laid down after he moved out and away from her so she was facing his direction. The most she could do was close her eyes to stop seeing him but the last thing she noticed was him picking up the picture he had been holding before and begin to cry.