Thanks to Jen for cleaning up this chap!
It was the day after they had slept together. Sara was sure she'd never be able to look at him without blushing; the worst part was that Linc was noticing…and commenting.
It started when Michael got out to pump gas, Linc turned in the drivers seat to smile at her. "So…get a good night's sleep."
She gave a polite smile, "Yeah-You?"
"Fine. You remember we're on the run right?" His smile widened.
"Little hard to forget, Lincoln." She responded losing her smile.
"So screaming out my brother's name isn't a very good idea." Lincoln cast a quick look at his brother before leaning closer, "But I am glad you have such fun. Kept me entertained."
Sara leaned forward with a smile, "You're a pervert." She slapped him lightly on the head.
"Oh trust me, sweetie, from what I heard last night I'm hardly the perv." He turned back in his seat.
The door opened and Michael stuck his head in, "I'm going to pay, does anyone want anything?"
"I'll pay…we can't risk you being recognized. We are on the run." She said aiming the last part at Linc. Sara reached for the door handle as Michael nodded confused but moved to get into the car.
"Hey Sara! Get me a coke!" Linc called lightly.
Sara sent him a glare then walked into the station.
"What'd I miss?" Michael looked to his brother.
"Dad was teasing Sara about your sexual escapades." LJ piped up from the back.
Both men turned in shock. LJ hadn't said a word since they picked him up. He had spent the entire night crying then staring blankly at the ceiling.
Lincoln stared at his son then sent his brother a questioning look.
Michael watched his nephew, Sara had told him not to make LJ feel awkward or make a big deal when he finally decided to speak.
"What first words," Michael muttered turning in his seat. "So you're teasing Sara?"
Linc tore his eyes off his son, "Don't worry, she's fine."
"I know she's fine." Michael smirked.
"She gives as good as she gets." Linc muttered tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
"Be nice to her." The younger brother ordered.
"Hey, man, if she's gonna be family she's gonna have to learn to live with it." Linc threw at his brother.
"Family?" Michael coughed, gripped the dashboard.
"You're gonna marry her, uncle Mike?" LJ asked, he laid his arms on his knees and leaned it.
"I-um-I don't-" Michael stumbled then ran a hand over his head. "Well-I mean-umm-I love her-but-um-"
"She's pretty hot dude, you'd be an idiot not to," Linc said glancing at his son for support. Lincoln gave a bright smile; this conversation was bringing LJ back.
"I don't know dad," LJ leaned in more, "I think she might have a thing for me. Yesterday when she was giving me that 'physical' I think she was getting a little fiesty!"
Michael dropped his hands and sent his nephew a death glare. "She was not!"
"I think I agree with LJ, Mike. I mean she's way to hot for you." Linc said.
Sara exited the station was a paper bag in her arms.
"Damn, she is hot." LJ watched her.
"Would you both please stop saying that?" Michael fumed.
"Here I thought you stood for truth and justices. Now you want us to lie?" Linc teased, LJ let out a laugh.
"Lie about what?" Sara asked, pulling open her door.
"Nothing," Michael said quickly.
"Michael wants us to stop saying you're hot." Linc turned to her.
Sara dropped into her seat, "Pardon me?"
"Michael-" Lincoln started again.
"Ok! Enough!" Michael slapped his brother's head.
Sara shook her head then dove into the bag, she turned to LJ.
"I wasn't sure what you would want so I just got you these," She pulled out a handful of candy. "Not very healthy for you, but-"
LJ smiled and accepted it, "Thanks Sara."
Sara stared in surprise, "Umm…Yeah."
"Where's my coke?" Linc asked as he started the car.
Sara smirked to herself and threw a bottle of water on his lap.
"What the hell is this?" He picked it up with one hand.
"Water." Sara said as she touched Michael lightly on the shoulder then handed his a granola bar.
"I wanted a coke." Linc tossed the water to Michael.
"I got a coke." Sara said pulling it out of the bag.
"Give it to me." Linc extended a hand to reach it.
Sara saw Michael smile at her in the rearview mirror.
"Michael did you want some?" She asked playfully.
Michael turned, "No thanks, Sara."
"Um…LJ?" she offered him the bottle.
LJ shook his head then ripped open a candy bar.
"Lucky me," She unscrewed the top and took a sip.
Sara woke up to the sun streaming through her shades. She pulled the pillow tighter into her face and took a deep breath. She inhaled then froze, why did her pillow smell like Michael? She jerked herself up. She was sitting in his little room, in his bed.
Sara looked around then sighed, "Right-"
She had been in Panama for two days now. And for a vacation she was exhausted. LJ hadn't left her side for a moment; he'd been excited showing her how to surf then attempting to teach her. No matter where they went Sara felt Michael's eyes burn into her. They hadn't spoken directly to each other since the first day. It wasn't that she had been avoiding him, as it was that she to get her bearings before another confrontation.
Sara pulled herself out of his bed and stared at the little desk that sat in front of the window. It was covered in notebooks that were placed evenly. She couldn't help but smile even his clutter was organized. She spotted a notebook with 'House blueprints' written on it. Sara grabbed it and flipped it open.
The inside pages were covered in hand drawn blueprints with notes written in all corners.
Sara studied a page that appeared to be an extravagant living room, and then lifted her eyes to read the notes.
"A white carpet would look good but I'll let her decided."
Sara flinched. 'Her'? She prayed she was reading old blueprints that he had created for a client.
She turned the page to see a bedroom. Sara stared at the page before her in awe. It was the most stunning work she had ever seen. It was a master bedroom with it's own balcony, bathroom and a walk in closest. The bathroom could be a spa resort, a shower and a Jacuzzi; two sinks were just the beginning of his plans. Sara forced herself to read the notes, "Cream for the bathroom, but dark colors for the bedroom. Her favorite colors: Dark red, brown, forest green."
She flipped the page to see sketches of three children's rooms. 'Close enough we'll hear,'
Sara stomach clenched. She knew what this was.
She turned the page again; this time it was a lay out of backyard. 'The dog will need plenty of space to run; don't forget to put doggy door in kitchen. Maybe a dog isn't such a good idea-knowing her she'll probably want the damn thing to sleep with us when it gets scared and I'm not sharing her.'
Sara reread the sentence slamming the book closed and pulling in close to her chest. She extended it a little so she could stare at it. And there it was. Right on the center of the cover, "My dream house for Sara,"
How did she miss it? Sara hugged the book and laid her face on it. She allowed herself to cry. This is what she had been afraid of. That he still loved her, that he loved her as much as she loved him.
"Sara?" LJ was standing in the doorway.
Sara nearly dropped the notebook, "LJ-"
LJ stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.
"He worked on those for hours. Sometimes he didn't sleep, it was kinda scary." LJ looked at the book. "He even set aside some money for it. But he never did anything more on it."
Sara looked down at it, "It's so detailed."
"He's like that." LJ muttered. "He's always devoted to the people he loves. Hell I think if he didn't have those notebooks he would have started tattooing his legs or something."
Sara let out a chuckle, "You're funny LJ."
"Anyways I just wanted to say goodbye if you were up."
"Goodbye?" Sara asked setting down the book.
LJ nodded, "Dad and I are going to town for the day. I would offer to have you come but we're going to a bad part of town."
Sara walked over to LJ, "Your sweet. Thanks. I'll be fine here alone."
LJ looked at his feet for a moment then back at her, "You won't be alone. Uncle Mike is going to be staying with you."
"Oh," Sara took a step back. "That's ok."
"Are you sure? Cause I could probably-" LJ started.
"LJ," Sara placed a hand on his shoulder. "You brought me down here for this. It'll be ok. I promise. I won't throw your uncle in the ocean and watch him drown or anything."
LJ smirked, "Not really what I'm worried about but that's good to know."
"Get out of here," She smiled.
"See ya tonight," LJ said as he closed the door behind him.
Sara walked over to the bed and dropped back in. She was going to have to face Michael today. If she liked it or not it was going to happened. Sara stared at the desk; she wondered how many of those notepads were full of the evidence of his love for her.
Sara flopped back onto the bed. Michael's room was nearly bare but the things that were in it had its place, everything was organized. Sara had no doubt that the house had been like that at one point. Before she told him about their child. She closed her eyes. She had seen the living room when she first walked in. She had seen the bottles and the file. The bottles scared her more. Michael wasn't the type to let go-he needed to be in control.
The fact that he had been drinking told her how much pain her words had wounded him-just how much he was in pain. Sara fought back tears.
Twenty minutes later Sara left the bathroom in search of Michael. She wanted to get this over with so she could decide her future.
Sara found Michael in his hammock in the yard. He was laying bare chested in a pair of pants with a book propped up on his chest.
Sara stared in awe for a moment; she hadn't seen his bare chest since the day in the infirmary. That brought up a whole other topic of heartache. She dropped her eyes to the sandals on her feet then back up. She gasped her hands together and took a step forward.
"Good morning," She said.
Michael jumped, his book sliding to the ground, his body jerking almost falling in suit.
"Shit," Michael muttered balancing himself on the hammock.
A hand flew to her mouth, "I'm so sorry." She whispered, holding a giggle.
Michael threw his feet over the side of the seat and reached for his book, he cast her a wry grin. "It's ok."
Sara smiled, she looked quickly around for a place to sit. She saw a little bench under a tree, a few feet from Michael's hammock.
"Do you mind?" she looked to the beach.
Michael shook his head savagely, "Of course not."
He watched her as she arranged herself on the chair then looked out to the ocean. Michael stared at her for a full minute before he pulled himself back on the swing then closed his book over his chest.
"Did you sleep well? I tried to keep Lincoln quiet, but whenever you mix booze and trying to teach LJ card games…well it doesn't go over very well." He smiled looking sideways at her.
"I know-I heard." They both chuckled. "LJ's a good kid, and for all his mistakes, Lincoln loves him that's all that really matters."
"I agree." Michael watched her out of the corner of his eye.
Sara leaned against the tree and stared out at the water, Michael turned his gaze away from her. For a moment both felt as if everything had fallen into place.
"So I hear you're my body guard for the day." Sara muttered looking sideways at him with a grin.
"Linc convinced LJ to relinquish the duty for a few hours." Michael agreed lightly.
Sara looked at his chest, the tattoos always amazed her, she had seen thousands of tattoos before but this was so different. Sara lifted her eyes to his face and found him watching her. She turned her face quickly, desperately trying to hide her blush
"What are you reading?" It was the only thing she could think of.
"War and Peace." He answered lifting the book to show her.
Sara looked back to see his bookmark hanging out near the end
"You're kidding."
"Second time around. Only gets better." He grinned
Sara laughed. "Ok-now I know you're weird."
"It's a good book," Michael defended himself, "You should read it."
Sara lifted a hand, "No, thank you. I started reading it when I was growing up, I think I made it past the first page."
Michael smiled, "Well if you ever want to finish it, you know where to find it."
Sara twisted her hands uncomfortably. That conversation was over. She heard Michael move in his hammock, trying to find just the right place.
"Nice hammock. Doesn't look to comfortable." She said. A second later she wanted to bite off her tongue. Hammocks were sore subjects with her-with them. She couldn't even look at one in the store without thinking of him
"All hammocks are comfortable, it's in their design." He doesn't seem to mind the topic, as long as they keep up the banter he doesn't seem to care if they talk about the weather.
"If you say so." She agreed quickly, anything to get off that subject.
He must have noticed her sudden shyness, he choose the next topic. It was something he had been biting at the edges to ask her about. "LJ also mentioned you found my blueprints."
"I'm sorry-I was honestly just looking for a tissue-" She muttered quickly, embarrassed that he knew. She stared at the ground.
"It's alright Sara. They were meant for you." He said gently.
"I still should have read them. They were private." She didn't want to think about what he had just said. 'They were meant for you' it made her heart jump and her stomach ache.
"You know I started them in Fox River. During the riots is when I started thinking about the layout. It wasn't easy…took me a while. I actually spent that train ride to Chicago-do you remember the train ride?" he stopped himself mid sentence.
"When I tried to kill Kellermen?" She smiled, "Yeah I remember the train ride."
It wasn't the only thing she remember…in fact Kellermen was barely part of her memory of that trip. That dirty bathroom consumed her thoughts. That dirty bathroom brought her more happiness then she ever experienced before or after consumed her thoughts.
"Well I was working on it then too." He muttered, hurt that she had thought of Kellerman.
Sara looked up at him, he was hurt that she wouldn't even knowledge them anymore. Sara felt her own guilt attack her again. He had spent the last two years planning their dream house; he had even started planning before their first kiss. And she treated him like he meant nothing to her. She dropped her head into her hands; she could feel Michael watching her. She bit back tears and looked up.
"I wanted a girl. So I could name her after my mom. But if it had been a boy I think I would have named him after you or your father or Lincoln-I don't know who." She blurted.
He stared at her for a moment, shocked that she brought up their child. It was only a matter of time but he hadn't expected it to be like this.
"I don't think we could have handled another boy around here." He allowed himself a smile.
Sara smiled in return. "A girl would have been nice…."He paused, "On the other hand-dating."
"Umm…. yeah and the teenage years-" Sara agreed, allowing herself to wonder.
"In Panama…"Michael added.
"That would have been tough." Sara said softly.
"I'd kill anyone who came within five feet of her." He said suddenly realizing how true that was.
"She would have been allowed to date, Michael." Sara sighed light heartedly.
"But only guys I pre-approved. And LJ could go with them-"
"You're horrible!" Sara laughed.
Michael turned to her, "We could have made it work though."
Sara dropped her eyes back to the ground. "I know."
"Do you think we still could?" he eyed her.
"I don't know. We can't just forget-" she stumbled, seconds before it had been light, almost relaxing, the tension was back again and she hated it.
"I'm not asking you to forget, I'm just asking for a second chance to prove how much I love you." He said softly, he moved his legs off the swing to face her.
"You know my favorite colours." She looked up at him
Michael blinked at the sudden change of topics. "Of course I do."
"I never told you them." She stated.
"I guessed."
"How? I know you're a genius but you can't guess someone's favorite colour." She was mad at him she realized. When did he get to know her so well?
"I studied your outfits back in the infirmary. The colours you would match together, the style you liked best." he began to explain-his tone gentle.
"Ok-ok I get it." She waved a hand for him to stop then stood herself. She took a few feet away from him, "I loved the blueprints. They're everything I ever wanted."
"Sara-" he stood and came up behind her.
He didn't touch her but she still felt her skin heat.
"I'm afraid that I'll forget her." Sara curled her arms around herself.
Michael rested both hands on either of her shoulders, "Sara," he turned her gently, "You won't." he saw the tears run down her face, he pulled her into his arms, "Sara we won't. No matter what happens to us we won't forget our child."
"But if I stay-" she gasped, "If I stay will you-I'll be-"
Michael tightened his arms around her, "You're holding on to the pain as much as you're holding on to her, Sara. Do you think she would want to be remember along with all the pain?"
Sara wrapped her arms around his back pulling herself closer to him.
She released a sob as he buried himself in her shoulder, "Sara-"
Michael allowed her to sob into his shoulder for what felt like forever. He placed light kisses on her brow as her tears rolled down his body. He stroked her hair, trying to calm her. Yet a part of him was relieved with the break down. She had let him in.
"I won't let you walk away, Sara." He whispered into her ear. "I can't,"
Sara rested her chin on his shoulder as her tears subsided. "I know."
"I won't let you go back just to live in pain. We won't forget get him or her, Sara. We can't." He leaned back so he could rest his forehead on her's. "It was our first child."
Sara stroked his neck with her hands; she gave a little smile at his tone.
"But we can't live in the past. I have. I've been living in my sins for the past two years and its cost me you. I won't do it again, and I won't let you either." His hot breath hit her mouth. Michael studied her mouth, he could feel himself falling, he wasn't going to be able to resist for too much longer.
"I'm scared Michael." She met his eyes sadly. "We didn't exactly have a good start-"
"I don't care, Sara. I've been living with so much, guilt, anger, sadness, regret—fear. I can't do it anymore. I just want to live with you. Let everything else go." He lifted a hand to stroke her cheek.
"Can we do that?" She whispered, a tear fell from her eye.
"We have to try." He ran a thumb under her eye.
Sara lifted her eyes to his, "No more games? No more lies?"
"No more leaving." He added. "No matter what happens we stay together. We fight it out together."
Sara smiled, perhaps the first genuine smile she had in two years. "Now there's a plan that could work."
Michael smirked, "And I didn't even need to get a tattoo." He leaned in to her.
Sara met him half way, and parted her lips welcoming him as her arms linked together holding her tightly against him.
The moment their lips pressed together Sara felt a wave of relief, it was like coming home. It was gentle a kiss that promised, for the first time, they would have a future.
She pulled away and gave a laugh, "About that hammock-"
"Yeah," he was gasping, his eyes on her swollen lips.
"Is there room for two?"
Ok so I'm working on a second part for this. I've already got some ideas written down so keep your eyes open-and if you have anything ideas of your own-please let me know.
Thanks for reading and commenting!