"SEVERUS!" Voldemort bellowed, "I have the perfect plan! Come to me and I'll grace you with my presence while we discuss it over a box of Chocolate Cauldrons."

"Coming my Lord," Snape said, rolling his eyes discretely before he entered the room.

"What is Dumbledore's favorite type of jam?!" Voldemort asked excitedly.

"Erm- what?" I asked, puzzled.

"You heard me!" Voldemort screeched, "What is Dumbledore's favorite type of jam?"

"Raspberry," Snape said, still unsure as to what this had to do with Lord Voldemort taking control of the wizarding world.

"How do I know you aren't lying?!" Voldemort questioned skeptically, staring into Snape's eyes. Snape didn't even bother to use Occlumency. He had nothing to hide regarding this matter. Every year, at the start of the term, the Hogwarts staff played "getting to know you" games, mainly to introduce the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher to everyone, and to find out usless pieces of information about their colleagues. Snape never thought any of it would come in handy.

"Good, good," Voldemort murmured, conjuring a jar of Raspberry jam and a little gift card to stick on it.

"Sir, may I ask you why you're sending Dumbledore a jar of jam.?" Snape enquired.

"Don't question my decision!!" Voldemort yelled angrily, "just give this to Dumbledore at the start of term this week.

"Of course, Master, "Snape said obediantly.

The first school day of the year had arrived for Severus Snape, as well as for his students and fellow teachers. Snape could see the students arriving outside of his window, giving him a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"It's going to be a long school year," he mumbled to himself.

"Well hello, Severus!" a jolly voice said behind him. Turning around he saw that it was Dumbledore, poking his head through the door and walking in.

"Knocking is greatly appreciated, Headmaster," Snape said, remembering that he had been modeling his new dress robes while singing a song by The Weird Sisters a few moments ago.

"What's this?" Dumbledore asked, ignoring Snape's comment and jumping onto the bed to pick up the bottle of Raspberry jam. "Raspberry jam?! My favorite! Oh Severus, you're so thoughtful!"

"Oh, don't open that," Snape cautioned, "you see, it's from-"

"Hmmm, a little dusty though," Dumbledore said as he wiped the jar on his robe.

Suddenly there was an enormous puff of pink smoke around Dumbledore. Then Voldemort's ugly voice filled Snape's small room. The letter he attached must have been a howler, Snape thought.

"HELLOOOO TUMBLY DUMBLY! HAVE FUN AT YOUR FEAST! YOU CAN THANK ME LATER FOR YOUR WONDERFUL ATTIRE!!"

Completely confused and unable to see because of the pink smoke, Snape tripped over a stack of textbooks, smacked into Dumbledore who was in the middle of all the pink smoke, uttered some very obscene words, then, when the smoke cleared away a bit, Snape understood what Voldemort was talking about.

Dumbledore was covered in fluffy, hot-pink, footy pajamas. Snape had the urge to collapse on the bed laughing, but then decided that this was a serious matter.

"No worries," said Dumbledore, quickly flipping his wand at himself. Both Snape and Dumbledore were unsure why this didn't work, when the words "NICE TRY ALB" appeared across the front of the pajamas.

Unable to remove them with magic, force, or Turkish pop music, Snape reluctantly gave Dumbledore his darkest, heaviest, and most sinister looking robe to wear over it. This act had a strange side effect. Although the robe did completely cover the pink pajamas, Dumbledore's long silvery hair and beard wear instantly braided and knotted into dreadlocks. Dumbledore actually looked quite pleased with himself. Swinging his long dreads over his shoulder he cheerfully said,

"Come along Severus! we don't want to be late!"

Puzzled at why the Dark Lord was using such random magic, Snape followed Dumbledore out the door, but then quickly backtracked to check himself in the mirror. He fixed a menacing expression on his face.

This is sure to scare the first years, he thought. Excellent.

"You do know what this means don't you?" Dumbledore whispered to Snape during dinner.

"What what means?" Snape asked.

"This," Dumbledore hissed, pulling up the sleeve of his Snape's long black robe, revealing the fluffy pink pajamas.

"That You-Know-Who needs some 'special care' and has completely lost it?" Snape answered.

"NO!" Dumbledore said, "This means war!"

"War?" Snape questioned, "do you want me to alert Lupin, or Mad-Eye?" still confused at how pink pajamas could mean war.

"No, no, no," Dumbledore said. "nothing like that, but I will need your help."

"Okay..." Snape said, trying to pretend he knew what Dumbledore was talking about.

"Meet me in my office later tonight," Dumbledore said.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::later tonight::::

"Alright Severus, we're going to start off simply, then see if we have to move up to a higher level of trickery," Dumbledore said.

"Err... sure Headmaster," Snape said.

"So give this to the Voldmiester when you see him next ok?"

"Sure," Snape said, staring at the package that lay before him.

"Ahhh, hello Severus," the familiar voice drawled.

"Hello, my Lord," Snape said as he sat across the table from Voldemort. "I have a package for you," Snape said.

Completely unsure as to what was to happen Snape braced himself for the worst. He found that this letter was a howler as well. Dumbledore's voice echoed through the house.

"HOLAAAA MOLDY OLDY VOLDY! THESE ARE ONLY THE PRINTS! I HAVE THE ORIGINALS IN MY OFFICE!! HAVE A NICE DAY!!! LOVE, ALBUS"

Glancing across the table, (thankfully there was no smoke this time) Snape saw what Voldemort's eyes were fixed upon. Voldemort quickly set them on fire with his wand, but not before Snape saw that they involved Voldemort in a dress, surrounded by several bottles of Firewhiskey.

"HERE! Give this to him!" Voldemort squealed as he whipped a piece of parchment out of his pocket and gave it to Snape.

"Right away Sir," Snape mumbled.

Snape spent the next few days passing notes and howlers, pranks, jinxed and charmed items, and even a smelly old non-magical boot from the river. Finally Snape was fed up.

"Dumbledore!" Snape said, "I am a teacher and a member of the Order of the Pheonix. Not a messenger for two dillusional old men! I have to go and fail some fourth years now, so find someone else to do your dirty work."

Seeing as Dumbledore didn't have another spy working for Voldemort who could quietly slip in and give Voldemort the "present" Dumbledore decided to go himself.