Responsibility
Life, it seemed, held little value to those who wanted nothing more than to prove their valour in battle. It must have been boredom that drove them to sharpen their swords before they sharpened their wits. Five circlings. It had been five circlings since she had taken up the mission to realign the new selski hunting grounds and to help rechart the selski migration.
Apart from changing the hunting grounds and mediating between clans. She had been forced to police the new trade routes. Trading was not a new concept to the Icecarls. Ever since the Veil peeled at the seams and sunlight disrupted several parts of the eco system, food was becoming scarce since most of the older selski fell through the ice. This tragedy incurred desperate attempts on trade caravans by some of the smaller clans and most outcasts were now being hired as dangerous mercenaries for these desperate clans.
Since the natural order was disrupted and since the Mountain of Light was now open to all people by decree of the new Emperor, many Icecarls were confused as to where their allegiances laid. Such a sad notion to absorb. Milla had always thought that her people were so very strong. Was it really true that they were nothing but warmongers? She hoped against all hope that it wasn't true. However, looking back at her own past, she couldn't help but feel thwarted. She herself had aspired to be a shield maiden. What was a shield maiden if not a warrior?
Sighing in frustration, Milla broke from her brooding state as she heard marching footfalls coming down the hall to her door. A knock came and Milla casually called for whomever it was to enter. It was no doubt another young cadet sent to report that they were nearing the foothills of the Mountain of Light.
"Enter," Milla said lazily.
In came a young cadet. She saluted nervously and bowed her head slightly. Milla smiled inwardly at her correct guess yet she kept her face set in an unreadable expression. Cadets were very impressionable and if they were taught the freedom of expressing themselves disrespectfully in front of superiors, then they would be unruly and hard to control when they became shield maidens.
"Report," Milla said firmly despite the fact that she had her legs crossed and casually draped on the desk and was leaning back in her selski skin armchair.
"Yes Shield Chief," said the cadet referring to Milla's new title. "We are approaching the foot hills of the Mountain of Light. The patrols you sent out have spotted no signs of any enemies along the ghalt roads or the rockier terrains,"
"There were no signs of recent traps or concealed camps. I heard intelligence scouts were sent to investigate as well. Have they returned?" Milla asked.
"Yes they have. They reported nothing out of the ordinary," said the cadet.
Milla detected a slight tone of doubt in her tone and was interested. Call it boredom or an over cautious nature, Milla decided to pry further.
"Something else you wanted to add?" Milla asked rolling her head to gaze at the young cadet.
The girl paused as she made the mistake of meeting Milla's steely gaze. She hesitated as if battling over the decision of whether it was important enough to tell the Shield Chief her opinions. Milla saw the defeat in the young cadet before she stiffened and answered.
"It's nothing of any major concern Shield Chief," the girl replied.
Milla was unconvinced but knew she wasn't going to get an answer from the cadet without rattling the poor girl's nerves. Milla was, after all, the rumoured living legend who defied her ethics and journeyed to forbidden lands only to come back as a traitor and as a saviour to her people. One wrong word was amplified a hundred fold. How many times would it multiply on a rigid cadet?
Milla sighed inwardly at how history was edited to preserve the greater ideal that she was a legend. In reality, she was really just a pawn of the Crones. While given certain privacy and liberties in her duties, Milla was nothing more than a chained wreska. All she could really do was blindly lead her herd of devoted followers to what the Crones saw was a better future. Milla saw it differently. She saw nothing but a bunch of old hags sending the younger generations into the unknown to be buffers and shields for any misfortunes. It was a simple case of trial and error with them. It was the blind leading the blind.
"Shield Chief? We'll be landing soon," said the cadet stiffly.
Milla had focused her gaze back to the ceiling and was thinking about dismissing the cadet when she suddenly felt a pang of guilt or was it pity? Milla looked over the cadet with her piercing gaze and found that it was pity. Such young talents wasted on a feud that was centuries old. What Milla did when she fought Sharrakor was becoming a joke. Had all her efforts been in vain? Had she saved people who were too blind or too old fashioned to lead? Did she save countless lives to be used like puppets in a scheme that was beyond them? Milla sighed only this time outwardly. It seemed that she wore her guilt like thick armour to protect herself from criticism.
Milla stood up in a fluid motion. She was determined to change her fate and the fate of many others. 'How?' was the question. Would she defy her leaders like she did last time or would she find another way? In a well-practiced manner, she strapped on her selski hide armour and her sword belt. After pulling on her silver Ursek furs and systematically checking all her hidden knives were in place, she finally reached for the beautifully carved bone ornament but paused with her hand hovering over the neckpiece. It had been presented to her by the Crone host to symbolise her new station as Shield Chief. Milla pick it up and held it for a moment. She had worn it for five circlings without a second thought as to what it really symbolised.
It was always just a necessary piece of equipment to her. Now it symbolised a collar like the one wreska wore. Gripping it in contempt, she placed it back onto the mantle where she stared at it for what seemed like eternity. She simple stood there blank to all other emotions but the slow burning rage growing in the pit of her stomach.
"You…girl…" Milla said in a steely voice. "What is your name?"
Taken by surprise, the girl stuttered.
"Me? Um…Kira…" she said stupidly.
"Kira huh?" Milla thought for a moment before she shuffled through a few scrolls on her desk.
Milla found the one she was looking for and laid it out on the desk after flinging aside some suspicious and seedy reports. She proceeded to read the scroll allowed.
"Cadet Kira…Formerly of the eastern clan, the Far Raiders. Transferred to my patrol by high recommendation. Notable outstanding skills including vast weaponry use and advanced rovkir breathing patterns. Requires guidance and supervised responsibilities in squad leadership. Flaws include a failure to work with others and a slight desire for the heat of battle,"
Milla faced Kira as she smiled slowly after reading the last comment of the report.
"Hardly things I would call flaws," Milla said slowly.
The cadet seemed flustered at the remarks made about her in what were clearly confidential reports on promising cadets. She didn't show her shock at all, which made Milla smile inwardly.
"She reminds me of me back when I was young…" Milla thought nostalgically.
Deliberately testing the cadet's mettle, Milla slowly rolled the report back up as she glared at Kira. She was doing well. Most cadets would have melted under such a stare.
"Kira; let me give you some advice. When you think something is worth saying then never hesitate. You would not hesitate to defend yourself from a pack of perwals would you? So in light of what I just said; tell me what you were about to say," Milla said easing her glare.
"Yes Shield Chief." Kira said slightly impassioned "I was about to say that the reports that the intelligence scouts gave me seemed untrustworthy," Kira said stiffly but confidently.
"A serious accusation. Are you telling me that my hand picked intelligence team are lying to me?" Milla asked sternly.
After a moment of consideration, Kira answered.
"I would stake my life on it,"
The words were spoken without hesitation or fear. Milla let out a short chortle. Kira was proving to be very useful.
"You have nerve. I like that. I could use a girl like you in my pack on the escort mission to the Castle of Light," Milla said.
Kira clapped her knuckles and bowed her head deeply in appreciation.
"I would be honoured, Shield Chief,"
Milla noted her zest but continued.
"Currently aboard our ship is a young Crone named Dreil. She is in our charge. We are to escort her to the Castle to join the embassy there. Reliable reports have told me that this Crone is somewhat special. Why? I don't know. I don't necessarily care, however I do care about innocent blood being spilt. Make no mistake we're in the middle of a battle between feuding Crones and we are the pawns. That does not mean we will be deceived into spending our lives to do their bidding. So what do you think? Do you still want to know more?"
Kira nodded earnestly. Milla nodded in approval.
"Needless to say, I have a plan to deal with any trouble we will encounter along the way. You will play a major part in those plans," Milla said tapping the scroll with Kira's report on the edge of the desk.
"What will you have me do?" Kira asked.
Milla smiled as she unravelled the scroll and quoted it aloud.
"…'Requires guidance and supervised responsibilities in squad leadership...'" Milla said aloud.
Kira looked puzzled. Milla saw this and took a moment to explain the plan or at least give the girl a rough idea.
"Currently on board the ship we have had a lot of transfers. Thanes, shield maidens and more cadets. You've noticed this have you not?" Milla asked.
"Yes. I've noticed a lot of familiar faces. The transfers are mostly from the Far Raiders," Kira replied.
"This girl is sharp…" Milla thought happily.
"Good observation. If you've noticed this then you've also noticed a lot of unfamiliar faces that have been recently transferred and they seem to keep to themselves," Milla continued.
Kira nodded in thought.
"My plan is to lure these seedy traitors out of the main crew and deal with them. As it stands though, there are more of them than there is of us right now. I've already sent a messenger to the Ruin Ship and have asked for aid but the real battle will begin long before they would be able to arrive so I need a small trustworthy force to "accompany" the Crone and her "bodyguards" to keep a watchful eye on any odd behaviour until I can take out most of the traitors,"
Kira opened her mouth to speak but caught herself. Milla caught this reaction and frowned slightly before speaking sternly.
"Never hesitate. Lives are lost when leaders hesitate. You will be in charge of a small hand of talented youths such as yourself. They know their place in this plan already but are leaderless. If you are to lead them then make sure you keep them alive. This is the duty and heavy responsibility given to all leaders. Should anyone under your command die, due to your hesitation or lack of concentration, it is a guilt you will have to live with; and believe me it is not something you want to bear,"
"Yes Shield Chief," Kira said in a resolved tone.
"Good. Now what was it you wanted to ask?"
"I was about to ask how you would pull this plan off if the enemy knew that you weren't leading the escort? Surely, the enemy will know something is wrong if you aren't there," Kira said voicing her concern.
Milla smiled at her sharp wit. If she were to survive this mission then she would be at Shield Maiden status in a matter of circlings. Such a smart girl was rare. Most cadets only followed orders. On the rare occasion, a cadet would question them. Kira was such a cadet. A much-appreciated cadet to be sure. In answer to her question, Milla handed Kira the report about herself and pointed at an obscure footnote.
"Has an uncanny resemblance to the former War Chief…"
Milla took the bone neckpiece and handed it to a very surprised cadet. Milla then shrugged off her Ursek furs and draped it over Kira. She then proceeded to lead her to a mirror. After helping Kira with the neckpiece, Milla fussed over Kira's hair.
"My hair is slightly shorter. I must cut a bit off the end," Milla explained.
Kira was still shocked by her part in the plan to react normally to the comment. After a few quick adjustments, Milla nodded in satisfaction. Staring back at her through the mirror was a twin.
"Now that we have you looking like me, it is up to you to act like me. The first step to doing that is not to hesitate. You must pretend to be the Shield Chief for a time. The Shield Chief is never shy in giving orders nor is she prone to prolonged stares. Remember, don't give anyone any reason to doubt you're me. If in doubt, use your face mask or stand at a distance but don't give away the illusion," Milla said handing Kira a piece of scroll.
"Here are the names of the hand under your command. I trust you know them already but you should let them know your part in all this. They are your support. Rely on them and don't do things without letting them know. Together you stand a chance to fight another day. Now go. You have until we dock to make your preparations. Do it discreetly. You can pick up my sword belt, the neckpiece and my coat later. For now go and inform your squad," Milla ordered.
After peering at the names on the scroll, Kira saluted and hid the piece of scroll in the folds of her furs before taking her leave. Milla watched as the girl left. She saw fear and anxiety in her eyes but she also saw determination and hidden confidence. Milla trusted a lot of this plan to this girl. She could only hope that Kira wouldn't crack under the pressure.
Turning to the mirror, Milla finally let out a shaky breath. Suddenly she was consumed by doubt. She started to see flaws in her plans but then she silently reminded herself of her vow. She would not play into the Crones game. She would protect Dreil and she would make sure she would do whatever it was she had to do in the castle. It was the first step to freeing herself from the Crone's invisible hold on her. The burning resolve found itself in her stomach again and Milla nodded to herself in the mirror.
"I will free myself and others from their grip," she reaffirmed aloud.
However, she needed to be prepared for the guilt of any losses if the plan were to go wrong. That was her duty. That was her responsibility.