DISCLAIMER: Sadly I don't own them. I'm just playing with them, I'll give them back relatively clean, Disney, I promise!
Alex awoke with that same feeling of apprehension each and every day since she'd almost literally landed in Jack Sparrows lap. She'd lie there in the bunk style bed her eyes squeezed tightly shut in case her dreams may have sent her somewhere else. She'd been doing it for at least three days now, and every time she opened her eyes, it was the same cabin, same ship, same crew and of course same Captain whether he was inhabiting the cabin at the time or not.
Alex had found that a ship quickly gained a monotonous flurry of activity that with exception of the wind and land stayed relatively the same, with the conversation alternating subjects every two hours or so. She had thought the gossip that went on around her old restaurant's kitchen was bad, there was nothing worse than hearing pirates gossip about other pirates on other ships saying that 'One-eyed so-and-so' was definitely sleeping with the whore from Tortuga, no not the dark haired one with no front teeth and a fondness for yellow, the blonde one with all those tattoos of sex positions, yes that one who never wears pantaloons. Honestly!
Luckily her cooking had become a hit, stewed and steamed fish was becoming the norm, with Alex hesitating to kill the resident goat just yet. There was only so much you could do with goat's meat and she personally didn't want to try and do a roast masterpiece in a wooden ship. She was keen however to get a hold on the blood to cook up several black puddings.
So she would lay there in the mornings, fighting the need to get up until necessary. Apart from her culinary skills she didn't really have much to offer the ship, and even then she only needed to make a simple midday meal and put her effort into dinner.
"Alex, luv?" He hadn't burst in that time; Captain Jack Sparrow had learnt to knock. She grinned at the memory as she finally spilled out from underneath the covers in the direction of door.
"Y' decent, luv?" He called again just before she opened the door.
"Like you would care, Jack, if I said no you'd be in here faster than the Pearl on a Spanish merchant ship." She'd begun to learn the lingo and shorthand, it was really quite fun.
"I'd like to keep all me bits intact for when we finally consummate this union of you and I, luv. If I have to wait outside me own bloody door, then so be it."
Alex had threatened him two days ago. He's barged in looking for some map or something only to stumble on her pulling on one of his shirts, three suggestive smirks and one subtle flick of a filleting knife later; he left, without the map but not without his manhood.
"Pity, you'd make a good eunuch, always wanted a husband who could sing."
Jacks answering look went from deeply wounded to humorous.
"I can sing if you want luv," he took a deep breath and Alex braced herself, "yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me!"
It was then she decided to give his two chin braid a good sharp yank downwards, he managed to stop singing.
"Ye've got to look at that nasty streak in yer luv. You could really hurt someone."
Alex walked towards the ever increasing pile of dirty clothes and began shifting through to find a shirt that wasn't encrusted with salt or food stains, she failed.
"What do you mean could, Jack?"
He held his hands up in defeat. And grabbing the bits and bobbles he needed quickly, carefully avoiding the open box of knives quickly exited stage left. Leaving her, much in the same state she'd begun at, only now she was out of bed, which meant she should probably think about heading down to the galley and to her kitchen boy.
"Young man, you put down that bottle of run this instant!" She'd caught him red handed. Tom stood there in shock a bushel full of carrots next to him, a half empty bottle of run held limply in one hand. It was not even eleven according to her body clock and the master of the sun, Gibbs, and there he was, getting toasted.
"Boy, you'd better come up with something really good to avoid me cutting off an ear or something. You don't even know how hard it was for me to filch that bottle from jack to begin with?" The sloshed boy suddenly paled when he realised he was not only drinking the designated 'cooking rum' but it had formerly been owned by the captain.
"I was only testing it!" He protested putting bottle down and holding his hands up as he saw her hand twitching for a knife. Stalking over she grabbed him by his ear, and twisted.
"I ought to tell Jack. I ought to throw you out of my kitchen."
Tom pales as she began her tirade, then she stopped and smiled.
"I don't think I need you down here today, Tom. Go up on deck and join the boys in swabbing. I'll be fine."
His face was one of shock; working down in the galley compared to anywhere else on the ship was easy and relaxed.
"I'm sorry, Alex."
She lifted and eyebrow and nodded, "I think after one day not working down in the galley and you will be."
He walked dejectedly out of the galley and she grabbed the bottle for a long swig. Pirates, she thought, can even leave my cooking supplies alone.
Gibbs stood down on deck looking up at Jack. He'd been in a curious mood, one moment he would have a smile on his face and then the next he was sullen or offended. It didn't take a smart man to know he was thinking about his wife, Alex. Now she was something different. She didn't give into the Captain's charms, nor did she completely reject him. Gibbs found it all highly amusing, finally there was a woman who would Jack would have to work to get into her good graces. His walk and smile didn't do anything to affect her; she simply snorted something about Tortuga whores and went right back to work.
"Gibbs!" He looked up to see Jack calling him and moved quickly up to the helm.
"Aye, Jack. What do you see?"
The Captain pointed simply to Tom, lifting an eyebrow.
"Alex has sent her kitchen boy on deck, to work."
Gibbs commented, though he was confused about why the boy wasn't picking up a fishing pole.
"Yes, which makes me wonder what mood she's in; the boy's obviously done something wrong." Jack thought for a second stroking his chin and lifted a finger.
"I've got it! It's got something to do with Rum."
Gibbs gave Jack a confused look and took hold of the wheel as Jack began to head down towards the galley.
"Not everything has to do with Rum, Jack."
He didn't think he'd heard him as he disappeared below decks.
Jack paused at the last few steps before he waltzed into the galley, he heard angry murmuring, angry female murmuring. This was not good.
"Bloody pirates! Can't let one bloody thing go can they? A bunch of selfish old hens that's what they are."
Alex was the source of the murmuring he deduces as he slowly descended the last few steps into the lair of the fire breathing dragon… wife. His plan to be sneaky was a good one, he was Captain Jack Sparrow, he could be as sneaky as he- damn those squeaky boards.
"You."
She hissed sharply as she whirled round knife in one hand and half empty bottle of rum in the other.
"All this is your fault, Jack!"
He paled at the sight of Alex in full blown fury, almost as bad as, he paused for a second, nope, definitely scarier than the Kraken.
"Alex, luv what's wrong?"
He was shifting from foot to foot trying to decide if he should attempted to console her thus attaining the Rum or stand back and thus avoid the knife.
"You, the whole lot of you. Oh, don't mind me cooking for you everyday, but won't even allow me to keep one bottle of that god forsaken Rum of yours for cooking."
Jack looked at the bottle, and reached for it without thinking.
"That's one of mine-"
Narrowing her eyes she drew back and threw the knife, it wedged itself quite happily into the wall next to Jack's head.
"Don't you even start you cirrhotic livered, bead wearing buffoon. I'm not in the mood."
And with that she quite happily smashed the bottle on the ground and stalked past him.
Alex stormed across the deck aware that obviously quite a few of the crew had managed to hear her shouting. She eyed them one by one, daring them to comment. She was stuck on this damn ship without any personal space and there was no way she was going to have her actions challenged, unless of course that lead to a full blown verbal argument with Jack possibly following physical argument, which mean ripped clothes and warm skin and why did she always think about make-up sex at the most inopportune times?
Right amazingly enough I have gotten a reasonable amount of review so if I can… if you don't care just stop reading… now.
DugaDugabowbow: Thanks a lot, thanks for the review, please keep reading.
soaringphoenix86: Ah yes that evil Liz and Jack moment. I've got a cunning plan for that. So cunning that I won't tell you, that's how cunning it is. And if you don't watch Blackadder that humour was lost on you. Thanks for the private poke; you got me into an update, again. Not a long one but eh. Oh, and yes, Uni is hell.
IrishLily: Thanks for the update and of course she rocks. There's nothing better than a good woman to get a cute pirate onto his knees and actually work to get a woman for once. dreamy sigh
LovelyPink: Look! I'm updating, just like you asked. Thanks for the review and I hope you keep reading.
hieilover014: Yes, yes she is. That will not change; I think she enjoys making him squirm.
Dragonlass: Wow, two reviews from you. I'm all shocked. I did change the rating. It may go back later but them again my plans for the story have changed so much since I started it who can say?