Ch. 4- Eavesdropping and a Map

A/N: okay, so here's chapter 4, I know I take a while between updates, but between school and work I just don't have the free time I would like, but I'm going to start work on the next chapter within the next few days. As for you Sunshine fans- I am SOOOO sorry about the long long wait on the sequel. I know I keep saying that it will be up soon and I promise, I'm working on it! Just keep waiting patiently, I swear it's coming:p okay, enough of my excuses, on with the story!

DISCLAIMER: So, I keep forgetting to put this in here, but honestly if any of you think I'm JK Rowling, well then you need to go and get help.

Tell me all that you've thrown away

Find out games you don't wanna play

You are the only one that needs to know

Dirty Little Secret- All-American Rejects

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I crept up to the seventh year boys' dormitory and opened the door. I stepped in, marveling at how messy four boys could be. Honestly, I don't think any of them had heard of cleaning or pick up. I picked out Sirius' bed, which was by a window, and started to go through his wardrobe, trunk, and various items that lay around his four poster. As I opened a drawer, I found a spare piece of parchment that looked as old as Dumbledore. I picked up and turned it over curiously in my hands. It was blank and I almost wrote it off as nothing- but then my curiosity got the better of me and I pulled my wand out. I tapped the parchment with it, but nothing happened. I frowned and was about to put it down when another idea popped into my head.

"Adira Pogue demands this parchment to show any enchantments it may be hiding," I said defiantly. I know it seemed crazy, but knowing these guys, nothing was impossible. And, to my amazement, words began to write themselves upon the paper as though an invisible hand were holding the pen.

Mr. Moony would like to warn Miss Adira that Messers Padfoot and Prongs, while being charming wizards, are not above punishing those who like to meddle in other people's business- and to please put this parchment down and save herself while she still can.

Mr. Prongs would like to comment that Miss Adira is quite pretty and begs her not to take offense to the fact that if she is caught she will have to suffer the consequences…

Mr. Padfoot agrees with Mr. Prongs and would like to add that it would be a shame to have to hex and/or curse such an appealing and rather charming girl for prying into matters that she shouldn't.

Mr. Wormtail would like to wish Miss Adira a good day and advises her to go play dress up like all the other girls.

I stared at the parchment for a minute, rereading the statements. I recognized the names- it was what the Marauders were always calling each other by. And the comments certainly fit the personalities of each name. But before I could explore the map any further, I heard voices drawing closer to the room. I cursed Zoey- she was supposed to warn me if they came back! I tapped the parchment a final time and to my relief it wiped itself clean. I stuffed it back into the drawer and cast about for a place to hide. The door started to open and I threw myself under Sirius' bed.

"Alright, let's just find Moony and Wormtail and get out of here," I heard James' voice say, "I'm hungry and I could eat a dragon right about now."

"I could always eat a dragon- three in fact," I heard Sirius cheekily reply.

I wondered what they were doing up here if they looking for Remus and Peter. I heard Sirius open a drawer a second later the old piece of parchment dropped down my head. Sirius bent down and for a second I thought I was caught for sure. But he simply picked it up and I let out a breath as he straightened again, not seeing me at all.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," I heard his voice and then: "They're in the library- big surprise. Well, we'd better go and rescue Moony; he's probably pulling his toe nails out trying to get Wormtail to comprehend charms."

"Yeah," James agreed, "let's go."

"Mischief managed."

I heard the door open and then close again. I rolled out from under Sirius' bed and stood up, straightening my robes. The parchment was on Sirius' bed and I picked it up. I looked at it, wondering how the bloody hell they could know where Remus and Peter were just from this blank piece of paper. Then I remembered that Sirius had said something-

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," I said, but nothing happened. Was I doing something wrong? I looked at the parchment and then drew my wand out once more. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," I repeated, this time tapping the parchment. Then, to my immense amazement lines began to weave all over the surface. I watched until I suddenly realized that it was a map- and not just a map, a map of Hogwarts.

I looked over the map, noticing that they were hundreds of tiny dots moving all over it, along with names. I looked up where the Gryffindor boys' tower was- sure enough a little dot labeled Adira Pogue was there. I looked to where the library was and they were Remus and Peter. I marveled at the map, wondering how in the world they had come upon it. Then I saw at the top a proclamation:

Messers. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

Purveyors of Aid to Magical Mischief-Makers

are proud to present

The Marauder's Map

I couldn't believe that they had made it- this was absolute brilliance. As I looked around the map I could see it was very intricately detailed and it must've taken a considerable amount of time to make.

"Mischief managed," I said, tapping the parchment again to see what the second incantation was for. The map wiped it self clean and it became the blank paper it had been before. I stowed it in my robes and continued my search. I found a list of wizarding bands, some Qudditch ticket stubs, and in his trunk some books of muggle poetry. The poetry surprised me because I hadn't pegged Sirius as the literate type- especially in muggle books. I nicked one of the books- the complete works of Emily Dickinson, whoever that was- and headed back down to the Common Room.

"There you are!" Zoey exclaimed, jumping up. There wasn't anyone else in the Common Room as they were all at dinner.

"Yes, well, I was kind of interrupted, now wasn't I?" I said sarcastically. "But I did get some stuff- you're going to flip! C'mon." I added grabbing her by the arm and dashing back up to our room.

"So he's a poetry junkie? Who would've guessed?" She said flipping through the Emily Dickinson book. "But what's with the ratty parchment?"

"Oh, this is no ordinary parchment," I said pulling my wand out. "It seems our dear Marauders are far more brilliant than we give them credit for."

"What are on about, eh?" She asked confused.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," I said tapping the parchment. I watch Zoey's reaction as the map appeared.

"Bloody hell," She said softly, "is that what I think it is?"

"Yep, it a complete map of Hogwarts that shows where anybody is at any given time," I confirmed proudly. "This little beauty is going to be of immense help."

"Yes, it is," She said an evil glint in her eyes. "Now we don't have to worry about where they are at every second- we'll already know."

"Revenge is a sweet, sweet thing," I said leaning back into my pillows.

"Yes it is," She said still marveling at the match. I closed my eyes just relaxing when a thought hit me.

"Wait a second," I said and she looked up at me, "they're going notice this missing for sure. I mean, they use it to find each other. We can't keep it- they'll eventually figure out that we have it."

"Well, piss, that does pose a problem, doesn't it?" She said frowning. "Okay, let's keep it for few days and then we'll return it- it may come in handy."

"Fine, but we can't keep it for long."

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Sure enough the next day I could tell that the Marauders were in a frenzy. All of them were on the edge and without warning would start to go through everything in their bags. I felt kind of bad for making them freak out, but we needed the map for just a few more days. There was an opportunity coming up and we were going to need to know exactly where Sirius was and when.

"Hey, James, you looked kind of frazzled," I commented at lunch as he banged his head on the table. "Are you alright?"

"Er, yeah, I'll be fine," He muttered continuing to bang his head. "I just lost something that can't be replaced and it would be bloody grand if I could find it."

I didn't press him for more information for fear that I would slip up about something. Instead I gave James a sympathetic pat on the head and ate my lunch. As I was making my way to charms Sirius stopped me.

"You haven't happened to see a ratty old spare bit of parchment have you?" He asked and I gave him an alarmed look, which he must have mistaken as confusion. "Oh, well, it's just that I've had it for ages and it would be a shame to lose it now," He added hastily, turning red.

"Er, well, I haven't seen it," I said shrugging and trying to keep my voice at normal level. "Sorry."

"It's alright," He said shaking his head. "Are you headed to Charms?"

"It looks that way doesn't it?" I said cheekily, raising an eyebrow.

"Well then, miss, allow me to be your most noble escort," He said straightening up and offering me his arm, bent at the elbow. I took it, laughing at him.

"You are so bizarre," I chuckled and he grinned down at me.

That night Zoey and I were talking about our next plan of action. We knew for sure that Sirius would be alone this Friday night, as James as head boy duty with Lily and Remus and Peter had a tutoring session. I had been reading the Emily Dickinson book so that I could bring up a common topic of "interest" and found that I actually quite liked her work. Zoey explained to me how muggles have all these groups, like cults, and they called them religion. Only they have a whole bunch of them and new ones are always popping up. Anyways, Emily Dickinson was brought up in a very religious house and therefore a lot of her poetry is about this guy they call "God" and she questions his existence and all of this other stuff. It's very interesting and, once I understood about "God" and all of that, very profound.

Well, anyway, Zoey and I were working out exactly how to approach him and what to say and all. I was actually looking forward to this. Partly because I wanted to see what was up with all of the poetry- whether it was just for show to impress girls or if Sirius was really into it- and partly because I rather enjoyed our banter and conversations. In a totally business like way, of course.

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"Hey stranger," I said plopping down next to Sirius on Friday. "You look very lonesome."

It was true- he was just kind of sitting on a couch in the Common Room staring off into space and looking like a lost puppy. Kind of pathetic, really.

"Yes, well, all of my mates have abandoned me," He said dramatically and I rolled my eyes. "Okay, so Remus offered to let me join them in the library, but honestly if I were seen in there it might ruin my reputation."

"And you just didn't want to help him drill nails into his head as he tries to tutor Peter, right?" I asked and he looked at me.

"Something like that," He said a smirk now playing on his lips. "Are you doing anything right now?"

"Not in particular," I said shaking my head.

"Good, you have been delegated the task of keeping me company," He said standing up. "C'mon, let's take a walk."

I got up and followed him out of the portrait hole. We walked outside and made our way to the lake. It was cold, as it was December. The sun was just beginning to set and it bathed everything a redish-orange in its dying rays.

"So, Adira tell me something that you love about Hogwarts," He said suddenly.

"You know, Sirius, you can call me Addi," I said resisting the urge to twitch. "In fact, I prefer it."

"Sadly, you shall always be little Adira Iris, the girl I was forced to dance and socialize with," He replied shaking his head. "And stop trying to change the subject."

"Why do want to know?" I asked curiously.

"I dunno, it just seemed like a good conversation topic, I suppose." He said shrugging. "Now, tell me something that you love about this place."

"I love the sunsets," I said, looking at the horizon through the trees. "It's the most beautiful time of day here. My favorite place to watch is from is the highest Astronomy tower."

"Yeah, they are pretty, aren't they," Sirius agreed. "Like a jewel that's just out of your reach," He added and one of Emily Dickinson's poems came to mind.

"I held a Jewel in my fingers --

And went to sleep --

The day was warm, and winds were prosy --

I said "Twill keep" --

I woke – and child my honest fingers

The Gem was gone –

And now, an Amethyst remembrance

Is all I own --." I recited and Sirius looked at me impressed.

"Dickinson, very good," He said nodding. "I didn't know you liked poetry."

"I must confess that I have only recently discovered it," I said smiling at him, as we started to make our way around the edge of the lake. "But I have come to love it- well Dickinson anyways. It's the only book I've got of poetry."

"I have that book- it seems that I've misplaced that too," He replied and I bit my lip. "But I have others as well, if you would like to borrow them."

"Was your book the complete works?" I asked as casually as I could.

"Yes, it was. Why?" He asked frowning slightly.

"Well, the book I have is one I found in the Common Room one night. It was just lying on one of the tables and I happened to pick it up," I said hoping to god he didn't remember where he really left it.

"Merlin, that has to be the best thing I've heard all day," He said laughing. "That was one of my favorite books in the world. Only, don't tell anyone about it- it would ruin my image you know," He added mock seriously.

"Yes, you wouldn't want people knowing that you can actually read, now would you?" I said laughing too.

"Hey, be nice," He reprimanded giving me a little push.

"You know, I'd never have pegged you as the poetic type," I said as we continued to walk along the lake's shores.

"Well, there are a lot of things that you don't know about me," He replied with a slight shrug.

"Like what?"

"Like the poetry thing," He said looking out across the lake. "Let's see, the fact that I really do care about what people think about me and I guess being the most sought after guy in the school is a way for me to secure my insecurities. Most of the girls I date are usually just faces to me, but I like the feeling of having someone there. So, I just keep going through them."

"How's that working out for you?" I asked looking up at him.

"Not so well, the fakeness of it all has finally caught up with me." He replied. "I'm sick of using girls and I know what they all say about me. It's not like I planned on being a play wizard or gaining that reputation, it just sort of happened. But I want something real- someone that means something. I dunno if I'll ever find it, but I think I'm starting to figure out how to look for it."

As crazy as it sounds, I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn't know if it was something I had eaten or if it was because I was growing fond of Sirius. But I couldn't be having feelings for him- I didn't believe in that kind of stuff and besides, I hated him, didn't I?

"Well, at least you've stopped using those poor girls," I said breaking out of my thoughts. "They actually thought that they had a chance at being you're one and only."

"They were going to have to find out sooner or later," He said shrugging. "What about you?" He asked after a minute.

"What?"

"I know you went out with that bloke from Ravenclaw," He said delicately, "but you don't seem to date that much. Are you holding out for Mr. Perfect?"

"Mr. Perfect?" I said quirking an eyebrow at him. "I don't believe in that rubbish. I don't think there will ever be a 'perfect' guy for me."

"Why not?" He asked curiously.

"It's complicated," I said trying to find the right words. "My parents had an arranged marriage, you know. They work together as a team, of course, but they don't love each other. They have never shown any real passion or concern for each other- just a mutual loyalty to Voldemort. I'm expected to follow in the tradition of my family and marry some rich pure blood and make my parents proud."

"Are you going to follow through with it?" He asked and there was something in his voice that I couldn't quite place- like disappointment.

"I hope to be gone by the time they pick out a husband worthy of me." I replied shaking my head. "But still, I don't exactly have the most positive view on love."

"Adira, you're not your parents," Sirius said turning towards me; we had stopped walking. "They may have not had love, but you still can. Just because you've been taught that marriage is a business and not something done out of love doesn't mean that it's true."

"You don't understand, Sirius," I said looking away from him. "It's not just my parents and yours and all of the other pure bloods. Do you know why Roger dumped me?"

"No."

"I wasn't good enough for him," I said willing myself not to cry- especially in front of him. "He was cheating on me with some other girl…tell me, Sirius, how is that suppose to make me believe in love. If I had been enough for him he wouldn't have needed some other girl- he wouldn't have needed any other girls."

"Do you really believe that?" He asked hesitantly. "It's not your fault that he cheated, Adira. It's his fault for failing to see how great and talented and amazing you are. He's not worth your time- you deserve better than that."

"Yeah, I suppose, but it just hurts, you know?" I said looking back up at him. "I haven't dated since then for that reason- I'm scared of getting hurt again. That and I haven't had a good enough offer yet."

"Any guy would be lucky to have you, don't you ever let anyone tell you differently," He said sternly.

"Thank you, Sirius," I said smiling at him.

"That's what I'm here for," He said pulling me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and I felt something I hadn't felt for a long time- safe.

This, in itself, was weird because I hadn't honestly planned on telling him about Roger or my parents; although I suspect he probably already knew about my parents. It was the truth and he hadn't been obnoxious, arrogant Black, but sweet and concerned Sirius. As I breathed in his scent I warned myself that if I wasn't careful I would start to act like one of those love sick teens- and that was the last thing I needed.

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The next night I snuck back up to the boys' dorm, after checking to make sure that they were gone. I wiped the map before I went, just in case, and then made my way up the stairs. I was still thinking about what Sirius had said last night and trying to tell myself that I was going to get in too deep and therefore I needed to get my head back in the game.

Before I left, I opened Sirius' trunk and pulled out another book of poetry- this one was black and leather bound, with no title. As I flipped it opened I saw that it was handwritten. I read through a few pages, seeing that some of the poems were cited and some weren't. The ones that weren't were quite good, actually. For example:

I looked to the heavens above

Asking it to complete my world

And, alas, it showed me a great love

In the form of the most brilliant girl

Now I am at a loss of what to say

And I've no clue as to what to do

But I will find her, some how some way

And then my heart will be whole, not broken in two

I knew I should have been leaving, but I was too mesmerized by the little book to care. I was pretty sure that Sirius had written those poems and I marveled at how good they were. It was like he was this completely different person when you got past his outside demeanor.

And then as luck would have had it, the guys were coming back up the stairs. I had to have had the worst timing in the world. I had barely managed to throw the book in Sirius' trunk, close the lid, and jump under his bed when the door opened.

"Yeah, mate and then she told me I wasn't as bad as she thought I was and when I asked her if we could hang out again she didn't say no!" I could hear James saying. So his date with Lily had gone over well, that was good. "And to think I owe it all to Addi- I could hug that girl to death."

"Yeah, well, I'm just happy the Evans chase is finally over," Sirius said and I could just see him rolling his eyes.

"Well, speaking of Adira, how's that going Padfoot?" Remus asked and I held my breath.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Moony," Sirius said off handedly.

"Oh come off it, you've been talking about her constantly, ever since she started being nice to you," James scoffed and Remus laughed.

"Shove off," He said and I heard him throw something at James. "She's nice, I mean, I dunno if there's anything more there or not."

"Do you want there to be?" Remus asked and I thought about how I really shouldn't be hearing this, and yet somehow I wanted to.

"Well…yeah, I suppose I do," He said after a minute. "I've never been around someone like her before. She's refreshing and she doesn't take my shit, which is a nice change."

"Well, you should probably tell her that," James said pointedly. "She's not going to wait forever."

"Yes, but what if she doesn't feel the same way?" He asked and I heard something in his voice that I had never heard before- uncertainty.

"And what if she does?" Remus countered. I could see someone's shoes pacing beside the bed. "Padfoot, you'll never know if you don't even try."

"Besides, when have you ever worried about a girl not liking you?" James said as though he were crazy. "When have you ever been nervous?"

"This is different, Prongs," Sirius said exasperated. "Those girls have never meant something to me, they were just someone to hold close and whisper sweet nothings to. They were just faces. I don't want to screw this up and I don't want to humiliate myself."

"Oh Merlin, Padfoot, you haven't…" Remus said all of sudden.

"Haven't what?"

"You haven't fallen for her, have you?" He finished sounding incredulous.

"No! I mean…well…" Sirius said quickly and then stopped. "Maybe I have, I dunno."

"Well, then, you should probably get a move on, because eventually she's going to be taken by someone else," James said sounding somewhat amused.

"Yeah and if you wait you'll start to sound like poor Prongs over here before Lily agreed to give him a chance," Remus added. "And I am telling you right now that I can not and will not handle another Prongs."

"Fine, I'll think about it," He said finally. "But how would I tell her- and when?" He asked as an afterthought.

"Hm…wait! I've got it!" James exclaimed after a minute. "I'll invite her to the ball my parents always hold for Christmas- and then you can make your move."

"Actually, that could work," Remus said sounding surprised. "You can whisk her away with you amazing dancing skills. I mean, we all know you're the best dancer out of any of us."

"Yeah, maybe," Sirius replied thoughtfully and I wondered if he was thinking back to the times where we had been forced to be partners. "I'll think about it."

"Alright, let's get out of here- Peter will be looking for me soon," Remus said and I heard them move to the door. "Love the guy and all, but he is driving me crazy with this tutoring."

The door closed and I crawled out from under the bed. So, the plan had been working, Sirius was falling for me. For some reason this affected me more than it should have. Sure I was happy that he liked me and all, but it went deeper than that. I couldn't understand why I felt torn over this whole thing. I couldn't like Sirius, I just couldn't! I didn't fall for guys- not even Roger. Sure he had been my boyfriend for a long time, but that didn't mean I was in love. And I sure as bloody hell couldn't be in love with Sirius. It just isn't possible, I told myself forcefully, stop being so stupid and just stick to the plan.

When I finally got back up to the girls dorm Zoey and I started to plan out things for vacation. I was staying at her house, as I was less than welcome at mine. I told her about the ball and what Sirius had said. We looked over our notes and this was definitely ahead of our schedule. After break I would pull the switch and Sirius wouldn't know what had hit him.

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alrighty, there it is! We get to meet Addi's parents and Zoey's family next chapter and then it's the ball. and hey, if you really want to motivate me- or tell me how horrible it is- just click that purple button that says "review" and drop me a line! ;p