Pieces Chapter 9

Title chapter: Tattered and Torn

Title: Pieces

Author: OLIVIAplusALEX4eva

Summary: Alex gets a call that she has been waiting for. It took two years but she's back and hoping to rekindle her relationship with a certain brunette. Will it happen? Will they both get over their insecurities? Lot more chapters to come! Contains Femmeslash.

Rating: Rated T, for now. May change to M for Mature

Genre: Drama / Romance

Warnings: Contains femmeslash between two consenting adult females.

Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine... just wishful thinking on my part.

Chapter 9

Olivia's P.O.V.

I have to stay strong... for Elliot. For Elliot.

Standing outside Elliot's emergency room door, I take a minute to gather my bearings. Wiping the errant tears from my face, I knock on the door softly.

After a few seconds the door opens and Kathy is standing before me looking extremely pallid. I reach out and touch her shoulder, giving her much needed assurance. Contrary to popular belief amongst the squads, Kathy is one of our friends. Us being Alex and I.

Word around the police stations, I'm talking about everyone excluding Special Victims, is that Kathy, known as Stabler's wife, is jealous of me. Envious because Elliot and I are so close.

She knows that we love each other in a sibling sort of way. She knows that we have a close bond – a bond she'll never quite share with him, because we're not lovers and we'll never be – and she respects that.

She respects our partnership because she knows that's all it'll ever come to. Plus, it should ease her mind that I'm a Pussy-Chaser and not Strictly-Dickly. I made the mistake once – sleeping with Cassidy, mind you that I was completely wasted out of my mind – and he was the first and last man I've slept with.

Besides, I've settled down with Alex and I find myself 100 percent contented with that.

Trying to keep a conforming look of fortitude, I walked into the room. Instantly I am blinded by the expected, familiar bright shade of white. White walls, white tiled floor, white bedsheets and blankets, even white curtains that were drawn closed to block out the intruding sunlight.

I look over at Elliot limply laying on the bed, asleep. I think.

His head is obviously bandaged and IV's are hooked up to his almost lifeless, exhausted-looking body.

The only lifelike movement from him is slightly laboured breathing. The expression written on his face is of pure aftershock; dark and shadowy.

Tears pooled in my eyes as I held Kathy's gaze. "How bad is his head injury?"

Kathy abruptly started sobbing and blindly reached out for my grasp.

I could tell her legs wouldn't be able to support her so I quickly strided over to her, wrapping my arms around her middle, purposely holding her up.

She buried her face into my chest, crying her eyes out. I rested my chin on top of her head and let my salty tears fall freely.

"The doctor said the wound to his head is serious, that he lost too much blood. They did a transfusion. The doctor left to examine his x-rays right before I called you. The doctor also said that he might go through a fugue," Kathy mumbled darkly, looking back towards Elliot.

She slowly pulled away, brushing the errant tears from her face.

"Elliot's a strong man. He'll get through it, Kathy. Don't you worry."

"Even if he does make it through he probably won't be able to work anymore. You might have to break in a new partner."

I don't say anything to this.

Sighing, I pinched the bridge of my nose, begging myself to keep my composure.

A heavy silence filled the stale room.

The only noises were annoying, high-pitched beeps coming from the life-support machine. Then again, as long as that particular machine keeps beeping, the longer Elliot lives, even if it be in a hospital.

I guided Kathy to a chair that sat just off to the side of the room and tried to comfort her by sitting on the arm of the chair rubbing Kathy's back while she cried silently.

Just as I got off the chair's arm, the doctor walked in.

"Mrs. Stabler?" Kathy stood up, wiping her tears.

"Yes, Doctor?"

"Please call me Margaret."

"Okay, Margaret. So, how bad is it?"

Another sypathetic forlorn look, "He's in a deep coma; so deep that it's slim-to-none that he'll wake. He's in a terrible amount of pain, almsot unbearable. He has a collapsed lung, failing kidney, and he has had a stroke. The collapsed lung from, my guess, is being beaten whilest raped, and the failed kidney because of the low blood flow through the body before someone found him. I think the stroke was stress-induced and was a completely random attack," Margaret annouced softly, but professionally, "I know it's unprofessional for me to give advice to a patient's family but this is an extraordinary case. I think you should take him off of life-support. There's so much damage that he'll never recover, and if he does then he'll be in pain for the rest of his life, which it's highly doubtful that he'll even wake up to begin with." And with that, Margaret closed the door leaving us to deal with the news.

Kathy's hand flew up to her mouth in shock and her body began to tremble. I walked over to her and embraced her in a hug. She wrapped her arms around me and cried hot, scalding tears. I led her to the chair and laid her in my lap, her head resting on my shoulder.

She cried until she fell into an exhausted, fitful sleep.

I took the spared time to call and update Alex.

"Benson-Cabot residence."

"Al, baby, it's not good."

And so I filled her in, the gruesome details of my partner's – my best friend's – condition.

"Mrs. Stabler? Ms. Benson? Can you follow me, please," Margaret pleaded uncomfortably.

We get up from the chairs seated in the hospital's lobby and follow Margaret into a deserted room quietly.

She puts a hand on Kathy's shaking shoulder and asks her to sit. Kathy and I comply, silently questioning the doctor.

With a sigh, Mararet answers our unvoiced concerns, "Elliot, Mr. Stabler, passed away ten minutes ago. He went in his sleep unexpectedly." Her voice falters, "T-there was nothing we could do; I'm sorry."

Elliot's P.O.V.

So... much... pain. Oh god. My head...

Staring at the white above.
Can't tell if I'm alive or am I dead.
Or if it's in my head?
Where'd I go wrong?

Where's the music coming from? Is it all in my head? Ah, blinding pain... so terrible.

Staring at the white above one day
I closed my eyes and here I am.
A cold unhappy man.
I've come to realize the life I have I hate.
The pulse I need is slowly fading until I've lost it all.
I've been waiting for an inspiration.
For a chance I never got to take.
Before it's much to late.
Where'd I go wrong?

Kathy?

Olivia?

Where's everybody?

Where am I?

Why does my head hurt so much?

Where's the boy that used to run?
Could it be he's up and gone away?
He seems so far away. And all the things I could have done.
Could it be they've up and gone away?
They seem so far away.
It feels as if the boy in me has left and been replaced
with a cheap and bitter imposter of myself.
I must find the one that used to be.
Approach him slow don't be afraid to say,
"Can he come out and play?"
Where'd I go wrong?

I'm so sorry, but I've got to let go, Kathy. I love you Kathy, Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie, and Dickie. I love you Olivia and Alex. You too, Fin, Munch, and Captain.

Olivia's P.O.V.

After I've dropped Kathy off at her house to stay with her kids I decide to head home. There's nothing left for me to do. There's nothing I can do.

I can't believe Elliot died...

He gave up. He let his life slip through his calloused hands. Why?

I always loved you, Elliot. You were my best friend, on a platonic-based relation, of course.

How could you leave me?

Leave us?

I'll never forget you.

Kill Me
Tattered and torn
Something aches
Tattered and torn
Bad things slither
Tattered and torn
My floors are burning down
Tattered and torn
And I can't find a window

Tears are freely flowing down my face as I'm driving. I leave them unchecked, not bothering to wipe them away.

What's the point?

Tattered and torn
This is medieval
Tattered and torn
This is cerebral
Tattered and torn
Suffocated
Tattered and torn
Melodramatic

Tattered and torn
Driven to the verge of
Tattered and torn
I make you my enemy
The nerves you sever
Tattered and torn
Can serve you better

Tattered and torn
In the blink of an eye
Tattered and torn
In the space of a second
Tattered and torn
Open my wrists
Tattered and torn
Give me my lessons

Tearing myself apart
From the things that make me hurt!

Sighing, I turn the tuning dial to the radio and immediately find another song. Of course, it had to remind me of my life.

Why do they make music that people can relate to? It's so pointless, to me, to listen to music. It just makes me melancholy.

I just want to get away from my life, not be reminded of it. Off all the hardships, the ache, the pain, and the heinous crimes.

WHY??

Giving in to what has got me
Feeling claustrophobic, scarred
Severed me from all emotion
Life is just too fucking hard
SNAP! Your face was all it took
Cuz this need ain't doin' me no good
Fall on my face, but can't you see?
This fucking life is KILLING ME!

I've been asked how I deal with my job. It's not my job, it's my life.

I can't help it, I've had to be suspended before for too much Over Time.

Alex understands my reasons for justifying my working schedule.

She understands, she loves.

I love her, so very much.

Tearing me inside

Too far gone, I'm catatonic
Leaving you to criticize
Empty shell and running naked
All alone... lobotomized
Back and forth between my hang-ups
It isn't easy to be hated
Where do ya go? Whaddya do?
Simpleton, impromptu, crazy eight
I never cared, not once
Gotta get away!

Tearing me inside

I wasn't promised a thing
YOU KEEP MOCKING ME
But you will never again
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT - AFTER YOU'RE GONE

GONE...

The pulse I need is slowly fading until I've lost it all.

R&R! please. The first song is Up and Gone by Hoobastank. The second song is Tattered and Torn by SlipKnot. Finally, the third song is Me Inside by SlipKnot. I wanted to make this an emotional chapter, hence Elliot's almost-unexpected death. I'm going to get flames for this, but oh well... it's my story. Just so you know, I really don't care for Elliot that much. Well, obviously, lol. Alex is going to give me shit over this chappy next week at school... lol. Hope you enjoyed... well, not Elliot's death – that'd be too cold. Happy Turkey Day.

I swear, if Olivia dies in that upcoming car crash then I'm never watching L&O: SVU again, well... old reruns only. I doubt Wolf'll kill off one of the main characters... that'd be the end of his show. Besides, wasn't Elliot and Olivia supposed to kiss this season?(ALEX NEEDS TO COME BACK!!!) I'm not sure--don't kill me if I'm wrong.