A/N: OK! It's time for the next chapter! Warning! Lots of swearing in this chapter! I apologize for this taking so long. I had midterms and they have had me tied up! ON WITH IT!
They never thought this day would come. It was a day many kids from ages four to eighteen would dread. But it was also a day many parents would love. Yes, it was time to start school again. The kids had their school uniforms on, and were ready to go.
"Did you make everyone's lunches Shinji?" asked Misato.
"Yup. Everyone's is ready to go," the boy replied.
"I hope this will be somewhat interesting," said Zack. "School was a snore back in Canada and only certain schools had to wear uniforms." Zack had his weapon hidden underneath a very large uniform shirt.
"Well, we had best comply to avoid conflict," said Ivana. She had her firearm tucked underneath her skirt. "Remember Zack, you are only to use your firearm if there is someone who is threatening the lives of our fellow pilots."
"Yeah, yeah I know. Who would be stupid enough to carry a gun to school?"
"Come on you guys, we're gonna be late!" shouted Asuka from the outside hall. "I don't want to be late on the first day!"
Once everyone was ready to go, the five pilots left the complex for their first day at high school.
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NERV HQ – Elly's Room
Elly was getting ready for the first day at school. She made sure her uniform was in good order with the adjustments she made to it.
"Tight shirt? Check. Hemmed up skirt? Check."
Once she had gotten dressed, she proceeded to the NERV cafeteria to grab something to eat on the way. She took a minute to check the menu. Once she got what she wanted, she also made her way off to school.
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Tokyo-3 High School (Uniforms suck!)
After Zack had made a few wrong turns and Shinji nearly getting decked by a car, the pilots found their way to the high school.
"Wow. It's huge," said Shinji.
"Obviously. I've been through high school already," replied Asuka. "And every student from around here is here. So it's obviously going to be big."
"Nah! It ain't that impressive," said Zack. "Hopefully some girl will hem up their skirt and it'll get interesting around here."
"Well speak of the devil…" said Ivana
"Hey everyone!" It was Elly. And yes she had her skirt hemmed up. "Hi Shinji! Hi Zack!"
"Hey there," said Zack. "Wow, you're looking sexy!"
"Yea! I hemmed up my skirt because I hate it when it droops so low. Like why not just call it a dress?"
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Inside (No running!)
It was definitely crowded indeed. Misato had said there was something like 3,000 kids at this school. And the school was large enough to accommodate them all. They all decided to go to the cafeteria to find out what their respective homerooms would be.
After having Zack and Ivana clear a path for the others to get in, they entered the cafeteria. The student homerooms were placed on walls all round the school. Asuka, Shinji, Zack, Toji, and Elly fought their way through the crowd to figure out what their homeroom. Rei and Ivana asked politely to get through the crowd and they made it through.
"Well, looks like Shinji and I got some lady named Mrs. Sanosuke," said Asuka.
"My instructor's name is Mr. Masumoto," said Rei.
"Aww! I got some guy for Science called Mr. Pitts!" said Elly. "I bet he is the pits!"
"I got some woman called Miss Hatsurogo for Japanese," said Zack.
"I also got her too," said Ivana.
"Score!" said Toji. "I got the same teacher as you," he replied pointing at Zack and Ivana.
Something then caught Zack's eye. It was a name on the list. "Hey, any idea who Coach Thunder is?"
"According to the information I have accumulated, he is the head of the Physical Education Department. And he is also from America as well," said Ivana. "We all have his class, so we'll find out what he's like first hand."
Then the time had come for the kids to proceed to their respective homerooms. They were ready for whatever the day would have in store for them.
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Misato's Apartment
Misato was relieved. Finally, the kids were back at school! This would mean she would have the whole day to herself. And Pen-Pen would also have some peace and quiet. With the peace and quiet she had, she decided to watch some Jerry Springer. She couldn't read English, so the Japanese subtitles did just fine.
It was a funny show indeed. She could imagine herself on the Jerry Springer show, fighting with Ritsuko over who gets to live with Kaji. And Kaji admits he fell in love with Maya instead, triggering an all out free for all. She laughed at the thought of that. But she knew Kaji would never do that to her… she hoped.
She decided to call Ritsuko for a woman's day out. The phone rang twice before Ritsuko answered.
"Hello."
"Hey Ritsuko."
"What do you want Misato?"
"Oh I was just thinking we should enjoy the first day without the kids and just hang out for the day. What do you say Rits?"
Ritsuko paused for a moment to think, Misato had assumed. She could overhear Ritsuko saying something to Maya before coming back on.
"Okay. Let's do it! Where do you want to go? Any place but a bar would be nice."
"Oh I know just the place we can go."
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Food and Nutrition Class
The teacher seemed like a nice person according to Asuka. Mrs. Sanosuke was a woman who appeared to be in her early forties. But Asuka's worst fears were confirmed when her and Shinji came to this class. Shinji was the only male in the class. Asuka then decided she would have to take some extra measures to make sure the other girls kept their "whorish" hands off Shinji.
They also learned that each student would be issued a laptop that they could use for the school year. The teacher then told them the course outline for the school year. They would have class for Monday to Thursday, and then they would cook a recipe for Friday. There were 3 ovens in the classroom as well.
The kids had also quickly downloaded an instant messenger service as well. And yes, they were already chatting over the service. And were already chatting.
A/N: All the kids have Instant Messenger names. Here they are:
Shinji: 01
Asuka: Red Sexy Babe
Rei: Rei
Toji: King of the Jocks
Ivana: Bolshevik
Zack: Pimp Mastah Z
Elly: Think Pink
Hikari: ILT
Kensuke: Nuke U
Oh yeah, and any chats on the messenger service will be in script format. I apologize for any inconveniences.
Red Sexy Babe: Hey Shinji, are you enjoying this class?
01: It's okay I guess. I love cooking, and this could also be a chance to learn some new recipes.
Red Sexy Babe: Like you need to know enough recipes. I'm the one that needs to be in this class.
01: I guess this'll be an easy credit. Now that I think about it, Misato should be in this class.
Red Sexy Babe: Haha! Misato would fail this class though. Unless the recipes are all about how to brew different types of beer.
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Math Class
Math seemed to be fine for Rei. All it simply was was numbers and how they can be manipulated to achieve results. Mr. Masumoto was a man who appeared to be half-bald and in his late forties. And apparently, he was VERY boring according to the other students.
Rei received her laptop from the teacher, and quickly learned the computer's different functions. Once she learned the functions, she listened as Mr. Masumoto explained the course's outline for the semester. Rei noticed as the students were looking very drowsy as the teacher continued to talk away. Some students had even fallen asleep. Rei just could not understand how the man was boring. He just seemed very monotone.
"And that's the outline for this class. Does anyone have any questions? Anyone? Anyone?"
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Japanese Class
Miss Hatsurogo would be what many teenage boys would refer to as hot. She was indeed a heartthrob. When the students came into the class, they would just look at her and drop their jaws. She was wearing a pink tank top with blue short shorts and appeared to be in her mid-twenties. She was laid back in her chair as the students were coming in.
Zack took a seat in the front row. Toji took the seat next to him. Ivana had taken the seat in one of the middle rows of the class. From the way the class was apparently seated, all the boys were sitting in the front rows, whereas all the girls were sitting in the back rows.
Miss Hatsurogo slowly got out of her chair and the guys just drooled at her movement.
'Wow. She's hotter than Mt. St. Helen,' thought Zack to himself.
She seemed to either be oblivious or enjoyed the snickers she was getting from all the guys. "Welcome to my Japanese class," she said in a seductive voice. "This is the academic level, so I'll expect you all to work… very hard."
Once the laptops were passed out, she began to explain the course outline. While she was doing this, Zack and Toji began to talk over the instant messenger service.
Pimp Mastah Z: What do you think of the teacher?
King of the Jocks: She's hot! Hotter than a London Broil!
Pimp Mastah Z: Yeah! Dreams really do come true!
King of the Jocks: You think you could bag her?
Bolshevik: I thought you were going to "bag" Elly.
Pimp Mastah Z: Whoa! Where'd you come from?
Bolshevik: I've been here the entire time.
Pimp Mastah Z: Bag? Don't you think that's a strong word?
Bolshevik: Knowing you… no.
Pimp Mastah Z: That's not nice.
King of the Jocks: Why don't you just ask her out?
Pimp Mastah Z: I'll do it when it's convenient for me.
Bolshevik: There's no shame in saying you're nervous.
Pimp Mastah Z: I ain't nervous!
Bolshevik: Then prove it. Ask her out after school. Otherwise admit your cowardice.
Pimp Mastah Z: Fine! I ain't scared. I'll bring it on you Commy!
King of the Jocks: Whoa! That's dangerous ground!
Bolshevik: We shall see…
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Science Class
The day so far had been terrible for Elly. She was in a class with no students she had known or seen before. And the teacher was actually Dr. Pitts. And he made sure that everyone knew that he was to be called Dr. Pitts.
Elly knew she was in trouble. After explaining the course outline and receiving her laptop computer he had handed out a test on the periodic table of the elements. And what? Elly knew maybe two, or three of the twenty elements she was required to know. Turns out she only knew one of the elements. Then Dr. Pitts told her to her face that she was going to fail the class miserably.
This just wasn't her day.
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Gym Class (The storm is brewing)
It had been a long day. The rest of the classes had come and gone. And now it was time for the final class of the day. The Physical Education Class, code named: The Thunderstorm. And as NERV had willed it, all the EVA pilots had gym class at the end of the day. Rumours had been going around that the teacher for this class was the worst thing that had ever happened to this school. Once they had all gotten dressed into their gym clothes, which they had bought prior to the start of the school year, they and the rest of the students were sitting on the grass, Hikari and Kensuke included.
"Why is this class called the Thunderstorm?" asked Zack.
"Rumours have been going around about this guy," replied Kensuke. "This teacher's supposed to be as bad as an army general. Maybe worse."
"Coach Thunder? That says a lot," said Elly.
"Well, the only way to know is to find out," said Asuka.
Just then, everyone turned in the direction of the school and gasped. A man was coming. A huge man. Absolutely massive. He had to be over seven feet tall. And his muscles made him look like a tank. Everyone was just frozen by the look on the guy. And the look wasn't friendly.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKERS DOING SITTING ON THE GRASS? GET THE HELL OFF YOUR ASSES AND PAY ATTENTION!" his voice boomed over the field.
Everyone quickly got up off their feet quickly and snapped to attention.
The man spoke once more. "Okay! I am Coach Thunder! You may only call me Coach, Sir, or Coach Thunder! Got me?
"Yes sir!" everyone said in unison.
"Good!" he yelled. "You'll get your outlines at the end of class! Saves my breath and less time for you runts to slack!"
After taking a quick attendance, he then pointed to the running track. "NOW! I WANNA SEE SOME LAPS!" The short pause only made the coach angrier. "MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASSES NOW!"
Everyone quickly snapped to running. It was generally assumed that it was suicide to ask how many laps they were doing. After about eight laps, everyone was fairly tired out; even Zack and Ivana were beginning to reach their limits.
Ivana decided to test Coach Thunder's patience. "Coach? Exactly how many laps are we to do?"
Coach Thunder looked like his head just erupted. "LOOK BITCH, DID I SAY YOU COULD ASK QUESTIONS?"
"You never said we couldn't," replied Ivana with a smirk.
"ALL RIGHT, JUST FOR THIS BITCH'S ATTITUDE, EVERYONE GETS 10 EXTRA LAPS!"
Ivana quickly then replied again. "You never even told us how many laps we had to do."
"GUESS WHAT? EVERYONE ELSE, YOU ALL GET 5! YOU!" he said pointing at Ivana. "YOU WILL RUN YOUR FUCKING ASS OFF UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!" he boomed again.
'Man,' thought Zack. 'Is she crazy? I value my life!'
Coach Thunder then focused his attention on the others. "All of you do pushups until I say stop!"
With a groan, the rest of the class started to pump out pushups. Rei was able to keep an average, steady pace with her pushups. Shinji was able to keep a steady rhythm, but was very slow. Asuka was tiring quickly, but pushed herself so she could match Rei. Toji and Zack were pumping pushups out like no tomorrow. Elly was trying fake her way through. And she was caught by Coach Thunder!
"Okay little girl. How come you can't do real pushups like everyone else?" he asked.
"It's too damn hard!" she replied.
He stared directly at her. He moved towards her very sternly. Then boomed. "IT'S TOO HARD? I'LL SHOW YOU TOO HARD! GET BACK IN THE PUSHUP POSITION!"
Elly did as she was told and reassumed her position. Thunder then placed a 10 pound weight on her back. Elly winced at the weight.
"YOU WANT HARD? THAT'S HARD! YOU WILL KEEP GOING UNTIL YOU DO 10 PUSHUPS!" he yelled at her.
Elly tried, but she couldn't get off the ground. "It's too hard! I ain't some fucking machine!"
"OH YOU GONNA CRY? YOU WANT YOUR MOMMY?"
"Fuck you!" she replied. She began to try to do the 10 pushups. She wasn't about to let some stuck up jerk get the better of her, even if the weight on her back made it harder. She tried her hardest, and finally she pushed herself up once. "One!" she shouted with a bit of triumph in her voice.
The rest of the class ensued with Coach Thunder making everyone do all sorts of drills. He told Ivana that she could stop fifteen minutes after he tormented Elly. Elly made it through all ten of the pushups. Hikari and Rei had to carry her back to the change room.
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Hot springs (Look both ways before crossing the street.)
"What the fuck crawled up his ass and died, came back from the dead only to die again?" said Zack as he relaxed in the boys tub.
"Who knows what's going through his mind?" said Toji. "That Coach Thunder is a lunatic as far as I'm concerned."
"That guy was a walking bomb," said Kensuke. "He needs anger management!"
"Hey Shinji, you've been relatively silent about this," said Zack. "What's your opinion?"
Shinji fumbled a bit for an answer. Obviously his mind was not on the asshole known as their coach. "Uhh, I think that if I try not to think about it, it may not be that bad."
"C'mon! It's obviously bad! He's almost as bad as your old man is!" replied Zack. "But at least your old man acts more mature than that steroid-induced idiot."
"I think the term is "'roid rage'," said Kensuke.
"So Shinji," said Toji. "If you weren't thinking about Coach Thunderbitch, what were you thinking about?"
Shinji started to get scared. "Nothing really. I wasn't thinking about anything."
"I know what you're thinking of," replied Zack with a grin. "You're thinking of Asuka. You wanna share a hot spring with her! Admit it!"
Shinji's face turned red. Obviously, in his mind, he knew that wasn't his thought, but Zack's suggestion intruded into his mind, and filled his thoughts with images he found clearly uncomfortable. He had to counter! Fast! "I see why… Asuka kicked your balls into your head!" he finally said.
Zack was shocked at the remark. This also got Toji and Kensuke laughing at Zack.
Toji was laughing the loudest. "You got sacked by the Devil Incarnate!"
"You're cursed now!" said Kensuke.
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Girls Spring
"I can't feel my back," said Elly. "If I still can't feel it soon, I'm going to see Dr. Akagi."
"I don't think he has a heart," said Hikari. "No man is that twisted, except for a twisted lunatic."
"He seems to be a very angry man," said Rei.
"No comment," said Ivana.
"By the way Asuka," Elly started. "What do you think of the great calamity that teaches our gym class?"
Asuka was trying not to think about anything except relax in the springs. So Elly's question caught her completely off guard. "Why would you ask me an obvious question? Of course the guy is in serious need of anger management!"
Elly just gave her a weird look. "Asuka, just because you have a college diploma, doesn't mean you can fool everybody. I know what you're thinking. You want to share a spring with Shinji!"
By now Asuka was really mad. "Look you dirty little girl. I have a lot more sense than that, and I pray Shinji does too. So get your mind out of the gutter!"
"Okay. Take a joke." 'Who do you think you're fooling Asuka? I'm a master in the art of deception. I bet nothing would have pleased you more. Ah, I can feel my back coming back to me…'
A/N: And there you have it. Sort of a rush. But I haven't updated in so long. Hopefully I'll be back on schedule soon.
Also, I might plan some side stories based on this fic and its pairings. I'm calling "Zany Antics" if it takes off. Mostly, it's the zany antics our pilots go through. But this will be different. You, as the reader, get to decide what kind of silly and/or romantic scene will happen in each "Zany Antic".
I have a few rules though.
The pairings MUST be based on Shinji x Asuka, Kaji x Misato, Zack x Elly, Toji x Hikari should you use pairings
Must be based on my fic
You may suggest a story, but you must vote on the others.
Laugh out loud.
And that's all for now. Until 38, be cool!