A/N: Hey guys there is the next installment. Hope you like it please review if you did.

Carla's Pov.

The last couple of days have been hard on everyone. I can't stop crying, Turk hasn't slept for more than five minutes each night, Elliot spends most of her time in the supply closet, the Janitor keeps mopping the same spot all day and all the interns walk around lost and confused all the time. All this because the one man who can make it all better is lying in bed, close to death and there's nothing any of us can do about it. I never even realized what an impact my little Bambi has made on everyone. I mean, I've been working here almost all my life now, and nothing has put such a cloud over the work place like JD being sick. It's not surprising though. From the day he walked in, something was different about this place. I found someone to care for, Laverne got someone to gossip with or about, Elliot found a friend and sometimes a boyfriend, Janitor found someone to torture and most of all Dr Cox found a protégé. Not to mention, many of the patients found an extremely caring Doctor. I've been talking to all of his patients and they keep asking about their Doctor Dorian. I mean, the girls all find him adorable, the kids think he's cool and the elder patients find him understanding. That's because he never did just want to treat illnesses, he wanted to help people. You'd think that's such a cliché and that all doctors claim to feel that way, but JD was the first one in a long time to stick to what he believed, and he made other people believe it too. Even someone as hard edged as Perry started to follow in his footsteps. I couldn't get him to soften up in all those years and JD did it so quickly. That day, when Perry started reading lines with one of his patients, it was all over the gossip mill. I was so proud of JD, he's helped two doctors that day, Turk and Perry. He always did stuff like that, always went the extra mile with not just his patients but his friends too. Its strange, JD inspires so many people around him, but he has no idea about it. His interns are always talking about what a wondersul teach he is and how he helps them even when he's swamped with work. Always concentrated too much on being a student to ever realize how great a teacher he really was. Oh look at me; I'm already talking in past tense, like he's already gone. Well he's not done and he damn well won't go anywhere if Carla Espinoza Turk has anything to say about it. We're family danmit; this is not gonna happen to us. I can't handle Turk without JD, I'll kill myself. Or better yet I'll kill him. Besides, he's my Izzie's Godfather, he's supposed to watch her grow like he always promises her. I need to go shove some pep talk down Kelso's throat, make him bump JD up the donor list. I'm sure this has already been done to death by all the other staff members but I'm nothing if not persuasive.

I'm about to do just that when I hear a loud banging noise from the wall behind the nurse station. Walking around, I realize that it's Dr Cox repeatedly smashing a chart against the wall.

"Perry?"

"Damnit Carla I can't do this."

"What are you talking about?"

"This..." points to Mr. Patella's room. "Never...Ne-he-ver in my life have I doubted for a second about the kind of doctor I am. Because by god I was the best this shit hole of a place ever had. And I knew it. I know that I don't show it all the time but I cared about each and every one of my patients. I worked my sad but pretty little butt off so that every one of my patients had a fighting chance to live and go back to their pathetic lives. But you know what; I can't say that about myself anymore. You know why. Because all of a sudden, these patients have become potential donors to me. All I can think of is, if this guy dies, Newbie can get his heart. If that girl goes into a coma and never wakes up, God dammed Angela can have a chance to live. So there it is Nurse Carla Espinoza, I can't even disconnect my personal feelings to actually do my job. There you have it; I've officially lost my mind." Oh poor Perry. He's mad at himself for caring too much. I can understand, lately, that's all I think about too.

"Perry listens to me. Stop beating yourself up because you care."

"I DON'T CARE. Why should I care about an annoying little girl like him? I…"

"Just stop ok. Who're you kidding? I've known you for over 14 years now; you think I didn't know from the very beginning that you were so proud of him that it scared you? That you always stayed a bit later than you should have to make sure he did ok? You think no one noticed that you actually bothered to listen to him when you cared two hoots about most other people's opinion. Just admit it, you care. It's ok to care."

"I can't Carla; I can't care and be the Doctor right now."

"Are you killing people Perry?"

"What? Why the hell would I do that?"

"Exactly, you can't stop being a doctor if you tried. You're worried about JD. That's normal. I can't even go into any coma patient's room without thinking about JD. I don't want these people to die; I just want my friend to live. It doesn't mean I'm going to kill someone to do it. But I'm not gonna sit here and beat myself up over wanting my friend to live. And neither should you."

"I don't know what to do. Ya know, that systematically pushing people away thing worked for me. I didn't care, and life didn't suck so much. God dammed Newbie has to push and push and irritate and bug the living Jesus out of me, all so that he can get some strange pleasure out of being a part of my life. And what good did that get him huh? I yell at him every single day of his working career, squash his self esteem, berate him, make fun of him, call him girls names and then when I'm finally ready to accept him as….something…I get him sick."

"What…"

"Oh no…don't try to rationalize this one, this is Ben all over again and you know it. This is why he was supposed to stay the hell away in the first place. He was supposed to live in magic kingdom with all the pretty ponies, puppies and Disney characters. Not get his heart ripped out on a daily basis and then have it entirely fail on him. This is old Perry Pare Pare's personal nightmare and I sucked him right into it. People who get close to me suffer Carla. That's how its always been and that's what's happening now."

I can't listen to any of this nonsense anymore. Quietly, I pull Perry to the side, where no one can see us, and give him a tight hug. When he finally stop trying to pull away, he rests his curly head my shoulder and lets me rub his back like my mother used to.

"Shhhh…its ok." I whisper softly. We just stand there for a while, until he calms down a bit. Then slowly pulling away. He nods.

"Thank you." There is still so much pain in his eyes, but he seems a lot more 'together' now.

"You ok?" I ask, in my typical motherly voice.

"Yea, I should get back to work." With that, he takes his leave and goes back to his patients.

I just stand there, watching him leave for a few minutes. I didn't realize how hard Perry was taking this. I'm just so used to his detached exterior that I sometimes forget that big old golden heart behind all the yelling, screaming and ranting. It makes sense though. Any idiot can see that JD is as much as son to him as he is a father to JD. I know he won't ever admit it, but there is love, pride and fear there, that only a father can have for a son. He's as good a mentor and JD wanted him to be. I wish he'd get the courage to tell JD that though, it would mean the world to him.

With these thoughts in my head, I make my way to Dr Kelso's office. Although, I don't have to go far because he is walking right towards me.

"Nurse Turkleton! I was just looking for you. How's our sport doing?"

"Not so great sir. We need a donor really soon. Actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"I know, the whole hospital seems to be on my case about it. I'm not a magician dammit. All I have is Ted's heart. See if you can convince him to donate. Maybe all the cuing in the corner will finally stop. What do you say Ted? That's a better way to commit suicide than you normally do."

"I resent that." Came Ted's meek voice from behind Dr Kelso. Poor guy, I don't know ho he takes all that abuse.

"Dr. Kelso, first of all, stop harassing Ted, secondly, Put JD as top priority on that list if you can."

"Nurse Turkleton, what makes young Dorian any more important than any other medically insured patient? Are you asking me to play God?"

"No, I'm asking you to make a professional choice. His needs is more severe because it's urgent, and he's a doctor in this hospital. You save him once, he saves countless lives every day. And if you really want to talk business, he's saving you the trouble of hiring and training more doctors, because god knows, you'll have to find someone darn good to make up for JD's loss."

"I don't have time for this right now. I was looking for you because I need you to send in a pretty face down to room ten, there's a board member in there that might need some extra TLC. Tell Dr Dor…tell someone to get in there now and defuse a possible hostile situation. If you need me, I'm not here." With that, he left me hanging. But I could tell that it was nothing I said but his own realization that he too had come to depend on JD's caring nature just like the rest of us. He's gonna bump JD up that donor's list for sure.

……………………

JD

If anyone knows anything about suffering, it's me. Not because I'm lying in bed, sweating from the effort of turning onto my side, not because I might possible die, not even because I'm really bored but because the Janitor is driving me crazy! He's been mopping on that same exact spot right outside my window for the past four hours, and he keeps staring at me. The worst part is, I don't know if he's planning to torture me or cry on my shoulder. He sure is working up the momentum to do something, but I swear to god if he "almost" comes into my room and then goes back out one more time, I'm just gonna jump out of bed and yell at him no matter what happens next. I mean, every time he turns this way and starts walking, I feel the anticipation in my body, I prepare myself and then he goes back to mopping again. I'm getting a cardio work out right here. Besides, six years of drilling fear into me has done its work, I can never trust the Janitor, and this is probably his plan all along. Get me all worked up and then do nothing. He's such an evil genius, if I weren't the victim I'd probably be congratulating him. Why sir, why do you torture a man so…annoyingly. If I have to be fair, he probably doesn't know how to handle himself around me. I mean do you tease a guy like you've always done, do you tell him that you're sorry after years and years of relentless torture, do you make friends with him finally or carry your threat to torture him till his dying breath. It must all be confusing. I don't know what would suck more, to have him irritate me when I already feel like crap, or to have him be nice and confirm the fear that I truly am dying. I mean there is just no other way the Janitor will ever be nice to me unless he's sure of the fact. If it helps, we're all dying eventually Janitor, why don't you be nicer in normal circumstances? I'm getting ahead of myself, he hasn't even tried to do anything yet. I can't be sure of his motive. There's only one way to settle this.

"Janitor, can you come in here for a minute?" I say, loud enough that he can hear me, but not so much that it's a yell.

"Yea, what do you want?" He's talking as if he just happened to be there and that I was disturbing him, Oh Pa-lease!

"Look whatever you have planned for me in that square head of yours. Just do it and go back to your job ok. I can't take it anymore."

"What're you talking about." Great, now he's making me look like an idiot. Wonderful!

"You know what I'm talking about. You've been standing outside my room for the past four hours."

"I'm a janitor Dorian. Incase you forgot. I stand around a lot, what's your point? Something wrong with that? Are you trying to make me feel insignificant Doctor Boy…"

"Janitor! Please, just stop playing mind games ok, I'm tired; I can't keep up with you today. I really don't feel like looking over my shoulder today, just in case you're after me again. Frankly, I don't even have the strength right now to move my neck, so whatever you want to do, just do it and leave me be." I sound so weak all of a sudden. God, just talking is tiring today. Not good.

"Listen, I wasn't playing mind games." He seems to go al solemn on me. Oh no, this is going to get serious. I know I'm a sensi, but I'm not sure I'm ready for this.

"I've standing outside because…I'mkeeepingwatch."

"What?" I'm steeling broth?

"I'm keeping watch outside your door OK. I keep thinking that I'll be somewhere else and you'll need someone and no one will be there, so I'm keeping watch. There are you happy now?"

Aw that is so sweet. The janitor does care. This isn't so bad, I can take this. In fact I've never been happier. Finally, I've managed to make the Janitor my friend, even though he'll probably never admit that part.

"Thanks. I'm ok though. You don't have to." I love that he care so much, but Kelso will give him hell for not doing his job.

"I know…I just have to ok." I can't argue with that logic. It looks like he's having a touch time with this.

"If you're gonna be cleaning that one spot out there that's probably the cleanest it's ever been, you might as well keep me company."

"I could do that. But don't expect me to be nice to you."

"I would never dream of it." Yes I would, in fact I have many times. You played catch with me in the parking lot.

"Wanna watch TV?"

"I thought it wasn't working."

"Of course its working. You should know me better than that. Why would I unhook a TV that was actually not working, especially for you."

"Of course. What was I thinking?" He made me miss heroes last night! I'm going to kill him!

"Anyway, I think the rerun from Gilmore Girls is on." Ok maybe I won't

"How'd you know I like that show?"

"Dorian come on. I know everything about you. You know that. I even know about your secret dream about becoming a pole dancer." How does he do that? No one knows about that. Oh well, at least we're bonding. This is good. Everything is looking up already. All I need is a donor and my life will be perfect again.

……………………

Things aren't looking so good anymore. It's been 6 days since my collapse, I've been hooked to every machine, gone through every test and seen by every doctor possible and nothing seems to have come out of it. There is no donor yet and I'm still on my way to kingdom come. My friends have become extremely depressing. Doctor Cox hasn't spoken to me in a while but when I do see him, he's yelling and screaming at someone. Carla and Elliot bursts into tears regularly, Janitor still keeps watch outside my room all the time and Turk is in complete denial. Actually hanging out with Turk is the easiest, even though he's a bit to chipper, at least he's not constantly reminding me that I'm dying.

Even so, m plan to "live it up" isn't really working since I feel like crap and have basically been practicing the art of lying horizontal for the past 6 days. So, I've decided that I need to become a bit more practical in my approach. I have to set my affairs in order. That's why I've called Ted over to write my will. Only thing is, Ted's already an emotional wreck in life, this is going to be an excruciating process. More for me than him, he whines a lot when he's depressed.

"Ok Ted, I want all the money in my back account to be transferred to the care of Chris Turk, as guardian for Isabella Turk."

"Awe JD that is so beautiful. I wish I had a best friend. Or a friend even. I hate my life." Sometimes I wonder how Ted got to the age he is without committing suicide. Or without making someone else want to in the least.

"That's not true Ted, we're all your friends." Well it's true, he's part of the family, even though he's not the greatest pep talker in the world. We sill love him and his sad ways.

"Awe that's really sweet JD. I wish you weren't the one writing this will."

"Yea…Anyway moving on. I want all to give Dr Cox my scooter, Elliot should get my Grandma's necklace and my apartment with everything in it. Turk should also keep Rowdy and my white pony."

"Anything else?"

"Oh yea and give the janitor all my journals. I finally figured out how he knew everything about me."

"How?"

"Never mind."

"Ok. Well, I'm going to go and get this documented. If you want to add or change anything else. Let me know."

"Thanks Ted."

"No thank you. Finally someone needs me for something other than suing people." I smile at that. Ted's got this way of saying things that's so funny but you're never sure if he's serious of joking. Gotta love him for that.

Now that I'm all alone, it starting to hit me. I just wrote my will. This is really happening. It's so surreal. I feel like I'm watching myself on TV, and the character who plays me is dying. I feel sad for him, for the things he's leaving behind, but I don't really connect with him. Maybe because I still haven't let go of hope, even after facing the facts. I still want to fight till my dying breath. I have a good life, and I'm not giving it up without a fight. Not when I have a happy future to look forward to, with my friends, with Elliot. I'm not giving up. Not now, not ever.

A/N Next chapter is going to be about JD getting to go home for the night with the gang. Tell what you thought of this chapter in your review, and I'll try and post that up quickly.