Ermm…I didn't want to write 'four months later…' so this is basically a choppy chapter taking place sometime in the middle of the next four months, so yeah…WARNING: EMONESS follows in this chapter.

Disclaimer: I would love to own Gaara, but Naruto, not so much. I guess it's good that I don't, then.

Finding a job was difficult. There was only one thing she was built for, and it was being a shinobi. But when she was deprived of that, at least for a few months, she found herself totally inadequate to fill any other job position.

Kimiko soon found herself waitressing at some fancy restaurant, and stumbled to make small talk with customers. Because of this, she was downgraded to janitorial services, where she was much more comfortable. It had soothing routine: wash the floors, clean the tables, wash the dishes, empty the garbage. She felt like she was repeating a drill, as she had done in lonely training years ago.

But when she received her pay check, she was dismayed and panicked. Immediately, she searched for another job. Delivering food was perfect for her speed. But the food tended to be so cooled down by the ride, whipping through the air; she was demoted again to the kitchen, in charge of the most basic dishes.

Working was frustrating, and she dreaded getting up in the morning. But she hardly slept anyway, and instead she stared out the window at the dark star-speckled sky, thinking of her past. She hadn't cried in eight years…until she returned to her six-year-old self.

One month after the funeral, her mother asked if she wanted to go for a walk. This was unusual, to say the least. Even before her father…left, her mother had never been very outdoors-y and preferred to stay inside and cook. And she had also never wanted to do much with her daughter. Kimiko was suspicious.

As they crossed a bridge that sat high above a deep gorge, Suzuku stopped and stared down into the abyss, the mist smearing the bottom so it was impossible to see where the earth closed up. Returning to her mother's side, the little girl peered over the edge of the bridge.

"Don't lean so far, you might fall in," Suzuku murmured, yanking her daughter back. She looked down at Kimiko, thinking hard. Even at that tender age, the girl knew to keep her tongue.

"Kimi, I want you to know…you've been very strong for the past month, and I need you to keep being strong. I don't want you to give up or become depressed, and I think you already know how much he loved you…how much he loved us." By now, the tears were gathering and spilling over. "Oh, god, I loved him so much. Why did it have to be him? Why won't they tell me anything?" Kimiko hugged her mother, because it seemed to be the right thing to do. She always needed her parents to hold her and comfort her when she was hurt, and now her mother was hurting, and it was her responsibility to hold her.

Suzuku stood up, and pulled her wedding ring off, handing it to her daughter.

"I want you to keep this. It's from him to me to you. I hope you remember how much we loved you…" As Kimiko wondered what that could possibly mean, Suzuku Uwenaka threw herself off the bridge.

A scream ripped its way out of her throat as the young girl started to climb the railing, ready to follow her mother. But a cloaked ANBU shinobi appeared out of nowhere, and pulled her back. As Kimiko hit the ground hard, the masked stranger pulled out a chain and whipped it into the abyss at the growing-fainter form of Suzuku. Kimiko crawled to the edge and saw the chain snake through the air towards her mother, who deftly pulled out a kunai and deflected it. She had never used a kunai before in her life.

Screaming again, crying again, Kimiko was taken home by the ANBU operative, and left there. When she calmed down, she wondered why a trained shinobi had been tracking her and her mother.

Later she would find out her mother was considered severely depressed, and her father's friends were worried about her. They still couldn't stop her. And not one of them cared enough to adopt the newly orphaned Kimiko.

After a while, the young girl started to wear the ring on a necklace that she hid under her shirt. And she started to hide her heart as well.

Kimiko blinked the tears out of her eyes, and as she did, she noticed a shadow moving in the dark. Tensing, she pulled a senbon from her sleeve and shifted her position, but the moon revealed nothing in the night. Writing it off as her mind playing tricks, she turned from the window.

…

Gaara wondered if she cried every night, and felt bad that she had no one to comfort her. He wondered if anyone had felt bad for him, all those years ago.

Suddenly, she looked straight at him, and he cursed silently, slipping further in the shadow disappearing like only a shinobi can. Why did he feel the need to hide? She wasn't the type to make a big deal out of it.

Gaara closed his eyes and knew he would be sleeping tonight.

…

Kimiko barely scraped up enough money for rent, but there was no way in hell she was asking anyone for money, least of all the three people she actually knew in Suna. Determined, she took on endless shifts and did odd jobs, and tried to feel at home in her empty apartment at night.

She had nothing to do one night, so she took out a brush and some different-coloured ink, and started writing on the blank walls. Something told her it wasn't the most responsible thing to do, but she couldn't stop herself, and the colours and shapes that took form were more than enough to fill the bleak chasm she was feeling.

Suddenly, she was writing the kanji for love, right in the middle of the room. Staring at the character, she tried not to think of her mother or father…or Gaara, who was suddenly tied to that word as well. She blushed, and strictly told herself it was only because love was written on his forehead.

Dropping the brush, she climbed onto the roof of the apartment building and counted the stars until she fell asleep.

…

The days turned into weeks into months. She reflected on the events leading up to this period of waiting and wasted energy. Before she would train when she felt sad. Now she went to workplace #1 to earn extra cash, workplace #2 for an impromptu cooking lesson, or she drew something on her wall (which the landlord had stared at for a long time, then looked at her curiously, and left without a word).

She never saw Kankurou or Temari, and she hadn't seen Gaara since that one night. She knew they were preoccupied with missions and Kazekage duties, respectively, and she longed to join the ranks of shinobi. Just a few more months, she told herself impatiently.

So, which event had started it all? What had led her to this fate, this moment in the right now?

Even though she told herself it started with the Raikage, she knew it was her. She had changed after losing her parents. She had fallen.

Everyday, she trained for ten to fifteen hours, just because there was nothing else to do. She became obsessed with becoming a true kunoichi. She wanted to follow her father's footsteps. She wanted to be as strong as her mother. She wanted to have some kind of meaning, a purpose, a direction in life.

She spent countless months training, screaming silently to be stronger, to work harder. She was angry at everyone, and frustrated with her weakness, and devastated and lonely and she wanted to die. But she wouldn't, not yet. She wouldn't follow her mother's path. She didn't want people to see her as an unstable reflection of her mother. She wanted to be more.

Even after her accident, she was up and walking within a month, and back to training. It was entirely maddening to have to return to square one, her body not responding, so she pushed herself further to the edge.

When she graduated early, people had stopped talking to her. Her three-person-team, led by a jounin, were just slowing her down, and they all knew it. When she was ten, her jounin mentor talked to the Raikage, apparently. She had strived to be a great kunoichi, and now he was making her into a nameless, faceless tool. She couldn't even kill herself then, because someone was always watching her.

She had become necessary, but she still had no direction. There was nowhere to go from there, only where the Raikage led her on chains. And now she was free.

But what kind of freedom was this? She wanted to scream and tear her hair out; she needed to do something, anything!

And still, was there a secret part of her that really wanted to serve Suna? To protect the one person who had stopped and looked past her eyes and cared enough to rescue her? She sighed and retreated back into silence and emotionless façade. She was too tired to think about this.

…

Had four months passed already? Four days ago, Temari had helped him prepare for the citizenship ceremony. She had to leave, but reassured him it would be fine. He didn't need that encouragement, but it was nice to feel he was finding love from his sister. And Kankurou, though he tried to be a man about his feelings.

Gaara had never performed a citizenship ritual before, and he couldn't help but feel some kind of tension between he and Kimiko. At that time, he was to inexperienced to know that it was a connection, not tension.

The ceremony was short, and boring. There was no one there, but two witnesses (a minister and one ANBU) to authorize the event. Even though she was difficult to read, Gaara saw Kimiko stiffen when the ANBU entered the room. He couldn't imagine why - she must've had to work with them before, as the Raikage's pet.

After the ceremony, Gaara was left to confer with the newly christened Suna citizen in his office. There, he gave her a forehead protector with Suna's symbol.

"I have a team ready, and I hope you'll be ready for the Chuunin Exams next month. You do want to retake them, right? You were doing quite well before…certain events terminated your eligibility." Kimiko nodded slowly. He hoped he wasn't pressuring her. The last thing he wanted to do was become another repressive tyrant like her former master.

"Alright, there's Akio Koizumi and Yukio Hatoyama. Specializing in weapons and fire-based attacks, respectively. You can meet them tomorrow, here." Gaara paused. He felt he should say something. Something like, 'Welcome to Suna.' Something warm and hospitable. Instead he just stared into her eyes and wondered why.

…

Akio was actually very kind, though some might look down on him as being clumsy and awkward. Not a good combination with weapons, yet he handled them deftly and with an air of grace. Yukio reminded her of one shinobi she had observed during the last Chuunin Exams - Naruto Uzumaki. He was loud, brash, ruled by emotion, and friendly. His overbearing personality, she sensed, would clash with her quiet apathy.

Even though this was her team, she was already analyzing them and inventing battle strategies - if push came to shove, she was confident in her ability to beat them. On the other hand, she devised strategies to cover their flaws.

She could only hope for co-operation, not friendship.

TIMESKIP (A/N: yes, I am very lazy right now…but seriously, did you want me to cover the entire Exam? Hello, boring…)

Two months later, she was being congratulated by Temari and Kankurou, who had thrown her a party for becoming chuunin. By party, she meant more like taking her out for dinner, and inviting exactly one person along - Gaara - which she felt was very generous of them, seeing as they barely knew her.

Upon bringing up this topic, Temari laughed nervously and Kankurou grinned.

"We wanted to, uh, welcome you to Suna - and since you didn't know anyone but us, we thought we should congratulate you properly." Temari clapped her hands once, with a devious grin.

"Speaking of which; we got you presents." And the two siblings of the Kazekage whipped out two wrapped packages from seemingly thin air. Kimiko blushed and felt a warm glow of gratitude.

Temari had gotten her a lava lamp, which she and her brother laughed at hysterically. She explained that all bachelors needed a lava lamp, and Kimiko accepted it without question. Kankurou had given her an empty box (was it supposed to be funny?) with a card that read 'Your new bed is waiting at home!' Apparently Temari had filled him in on the empty-apartment thing. Kimiko smiled genuinely and thanked both of them.

Temari looked at Gaara inquisitively.

"I told you to bring something," she scolded him. Gaara, who had basically sat in the corner, observing the conversation, glared back at her.

"I did bring something," he said quietly, and pulled out a small red box. He handed it to Kimiko, and she felt their fingers brush. Heat rising to her cheeks, she lifted the lid and saw a little charm on a black leather cord. She already saw it hanging next to a ring, hidden near her heart.

It was an hourglass, miniscule but easily recognized, and filled with sand that Gaara explained came from his gourd. Kimiko smiled at him, but his siblings looked disgusted.

"Ew, Gaara! You put blood into that sand!" Temari squealed. Again, the Kazekage glared at his sister, exasperated.

"It's so that if she gets lost, I can find her," he said so quietly they could barely hear him. There may have been a red hue on his cheeks, but if there was it was only slight. Kimiko hid a smile and repeated her thanks. She would like to know that someone was looking for her.

…

How symbolic - an hourglass. Sand trickling out until there was stillness, time expired. And how strange it was he giving it to that one. With stone eyes, it watched his time slipping through the crack, indifferent to his approaching death and yet reflecting upon the folly of humans that they sacrifice themselves for the sake of their absurd dreams.

…

Wow, this chapter is…weird…please review!!!!!!!!