A/n: Edited. Italics are the diary entries. This chapter is just meant to be silly. I'm not going to edit this one really. I'm going to fix tiny mistakes.

Disclaimer-I wish but it's not true. I can't ever own it.

Music box: 9: Dear Diary, A Creative Writing Piece

It was a perfectly normal day at the office. Paper work, bullets, more paper work and more bullets. A perfectly normal day.

"I am done for the day." Riza stated yawning. She was tired and wanted to go home. Last night she had to drag Roy and Hughes home at 2:00 am in the morning because they were "dwrunk" as they termed it last night.

"Hawkeye. Get some rest." Roy told her as she walked out of the room. He laughed, evilly time for his evil plan. It wasn't really evil but still he knew if Riza found out he would be told to jump out a window 50 feet up and with a gun pointed to his head. He walked up to Riza's desk and rummaged through her drawers till he found his prize. "My diary, keep out." He read with drool dripping down his mouth. Roy quickly called over his co-workers and showed this to them.

"Read it all ready!" Havoc urged and the other men agreed.

Roy flipped through the pages and stopped.

"Dear Diary,

I have met the famous flame alchemist, Roy Mustang. He is pretty hot but very perverted his ambitions are very heartwarming and I swore to follow them expect the whole wearing mini-skirts thing. If that happens he won't live other day to see me in one.

Your truly

Riza Hawkeye,

p.s. Note I do not like Roy Mustang. I can't fall in love with heartwarming, perverted, ladies man who is a complete idiot. Nope, I am too smart for him. Women crawl all over him like ants on a cake.

p.p.s. I also met Roy's best friend Maes Hughes. He's a goofy sort of man who loves his wife with undying devotion. It's really touching how much that man loves his wife even for an idiot."

The men could not help but laugh. "I guess you're not smart enough to date her, sir." Havoc giggled like a five year old given candy.

"Shut up! She did say I was hot! Ha-ha! Score one for me!" Roy replied trying to hide his smile. Hughes was crying the river like tears.

"She's the only one who has even thought that! I do love my wife with undying devotion!" Cain grabbed the diary and stopped at a very amusing entry.

"Dear Diary,

I have met the other officers. Nothing but a group of complete fools. Havoc is a love starved idiot and Brenda is boring. Now Cain, he's alright maybe not as stupid as the others. I really hope so because I don't want to be surrounded by dimwits. Mustang tried to avoid his paperwork. I have to point a gun to his head. I got a date tomorrow. I wish Roy would ask me out, so I could say no and break his heart like he has done to so many women. That horrible, evil and horrible womanizer trying to break my heart? Not a chance.

Love,

Riza Hawkeye"

"Is this really Hawkeye's diary? Maybe I should ask her out even though she's say no….." Hughes grinned as Roy's voice trailed away.

"Why not? Your wife awaits you, Roy Mustang."

"We can't get married. We're both in the military."

"I hate you." Hughes pouted and Havoc took the diary form Cain's hands.

"Tortured my coworkers……. I tortured them again…….Tortured…………..almost killed……" he said as he read through the pages. The men gulped twice. One for the scarred memories of dodging bullets and the other for the future bullets to come. Hughes pried the diary out of Havoc's hand.

"Here's one of the later ones after we met the Ed and Al.

Dear diary,

For this stupid job what have I given up? So much have I given and so much as be taken but not one "Thank you" do I get. I have to sleep with men to get Roy Mustang promoted and it's not fun. I'll tell you that much. Now I'll have to sleep with double the men to make sure Al and Ed don't get into that much trouble. I hate this job!

Love,

Riza Hawkeye

p.s. I rather sleep with Roy than the other men I have slept with before.

"Did I hear right? Hawkeye sleeps with people and to get you promoted!" Hughes pointed his finger at Roy and was laughing harder then any of the men.

"At least she wants to sleep with me!" He argued, his vein twitching. The other men were laughing too hard to understand a word he was saying. "Give me that!" He grabbed the journal and flipped to the last page.

"Dear Diary,

You STUPID, IDIOTS! Every word I wrote before is a lie! I never slept with anyone to get Roy Mustang promoted! The only thing not a lie is that you're all IDIOTS and that this is not my REAL diary! IF YOU EVER READ SOMETHING OF MINE AGAIN, YOU WILL BE FOUND IN THE NEAREST RIVER RIGGED WITH BULLETS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

Love,

Riza Hawkeye"

"What a relief!" Roy breathed slowly. The other men sweat dropped and then gulped.

"Found in the nearest river rigged with bullets?" Havoc asked shakily. The men cowered at the thought. Then Riza walked back into the room. "I forgot my jacket……Oh, I see you read my little creative writing piece. How do you like it?"