"So let me clarify this. Even though the war is over, and this Lord person is dead, we still cannot go back to our home? Why not?" Petunia seemed furious. It had been about three days since the war had ended and they still had not left their captive home.
"Madam Dursley, just because the war is over and Lord Voldemort has died, that does not mean the danger has passed! We may have reduced his forces but the most dangerous and vicious Death Eaters are still very much alive! They still pose just as much of a threat as ever before. Even more so now, they have no master left to serve or to contain them whatsoever. They act of their own accord. They want vengeance. And at any rate, we told you your house was broken into. We are almost certain that they have set traps there and it will take a few weeks before we can sort it all out." Hestias temper was risings as well. It was like watching two times bombs waiting to blow up.
"A few weeks? Why can it not be done sooner? We have been prisoners for a year now and we want to go home! They said my home was broken into days after we vacated it! Why has nothing been done yet?" She 'pulled a Vernon' and started to go purple in between all her sputtering and shouts. 'I wish she'd just shut up so we can find out what is actually going on. Stupid woman.' Dudley thought darkly.
"Madam Dursley hold your tongue! You know we sustained heavy losses that night our selves. Need I remind you that we just came out of a war! Your vacant house was hardly a thought in anyone's mind. Before anyone thinks of breaking curses on houses, or relocating those in hiding we intend to mourn our losses. In the midst of the war, everyone of our fighters who was taken from us had to be pushed out of our minds, for the greater good. More important things had to be done. Now that the war is finished we will grieve accordingly! Now as I have told you, you will be leaving this house for another safe house. Your nephew has sportingly agreed to take you in until such time comes that your house becomes fit for inhabitance. You should be thankful we don't dump you on the streets. And if I hear a whisper of you acting less that gracious house guests then you'll join your husband in the cage!" Hestia's temper now matched that of the day she turned Vernon in to a hamster.
"Now gather your things. You'll be moving within the hour. Quickly now!" She spat. As she whirled away, her clock spun in a menacing way and Dudley knew better than to ask questions.
"Mum, lets just get ready. It'll just be easier. And maybe we can convince Harry to get something done about the house sooner!" He tried to sway his mother by showing her what she could personally gain form the situation, and saw her demeanor quickly change.
"Oh yes Diddykins, wonderful idea! Now mind you get it all, if you leave anything I doubt you'll ever see it again." She added darkly.
"Ahh, here we are. Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Mind we've had to go to a lot of trouble so that you lot would be able to see the place, used to have more muggle repelling charms than any other wizarding home in Britain. You can see the place alright, cant you?" Dedulas asked. Dudley did not know where they were, they had taken a port-key, which is something he knew he wasn't looking forward to doing again.
"Erm, yeah I can see it. Where are we exactly?" He asked sheepishly.
"London, of course. This is he house Harry inherited from his god father. Used to be headquarters, until Albus died that is. Now its all Harry's. Up we go now."
Dudley followed him up the stairs to the door. It had this enormously creepy knocker with a small but deadly look snake. After knocking with the knocker, he almost had a heart attack when he heard the faintest little hiss some form the knocker.
And then the door swung open and this ghastly little creature was standing in front of the. Dudley recognized it from when that old bloke told Harry about his inheritance. It had been kicking and screaming about 'not serving the Potter brat' on his living room floor almost two years previously. Never the less, it seemed to have changed it's personality since then because it gave them all a toothy grin.
"Mr. Diggle, these must be Master Harry's relatives? Yes, come in, come in. Kreacher will take your things to your rooms." After ushering them into the hall and looking at the number of visitors he seemed to notice that they were one short, "Does Master Harry not have an uncle coming as well? Kreacher was told to prepare for three guests, not two.
"Oh no, he is right over there Kreacher," said Hestia cheerfully as she gestured to the cage cradles in his mothers arms. "Got a bit out of hand, that one did." she added with a smirk.
"You will turn him back w-won't you? He can't stay like this forever! You said you would do it!" Sobbed his mother, hugging the cage where his hamster of a father was imprisoned.
"I'll leave it up to Harry, I daresay he will have something to say on the matter. And in any case the poor child could do with a laugh. Now remember this is a full out wizarding house, not like that squibs house we were staying in before. The house has hundred of years worth of magical heirlooms and instruments lying about, so do not touch anything. Things will be quite different from your muggle house. Things in here are enchanted, they can talk and many things in here can kill you. And I'd advise you to be quiet in the halls. You do not want to wake Mrs. Black up. She's a right foul cow, that one. Oh, remember the portraits can talk—" But she was cut off as a hearty laugh came from the wall, where a vaguely familiar young man with blazing red hair stood laughing with a handsome older man.
"Hello, Hello and welcome to Harry's house. I daresay you might remember me? In any case I'm Fred Weasley. I've met you all of course. Hi, Duddykins." The picture laughed out. With a pang of horror Dudley remembered; this was the one who had given him that awful candy while he was on his diet. It had made his tongue grow enormously.
"I re-remember y-ou" was all he could manage to say.
"So you're the muggles eh. I've been wanting to meet you for a long time. Sirius Black, Harry's convicted murderer of a god father. I'll be having words with you lot before you leave. I don't like the way you treated my god son over the years. I'll have none of your nonsense in my house at least." He looked angry but at the same time like he was having great fun. Then foot steps came from down the hall.
"Sirius who's here? Is it the Dursleys?" rang Harry's voice. Theer was something different about it. It was sort of deader, without much emotion. When Harry himself came into view his face matched his voice. He looked like he had lived an eternity in the year since they had last met. He looked even scrawnier than Dudley had ever seen him, with numerous cuts and wound all over his body. He seemed to be walking with a limp.
"Ahh... Welcome to my house. I hope you'll find yourselves at home, though I know you won't so let's forget the niceties. Wait, where's uncle Vernon?" he asked. It was the fisrt bit of emotion he'd allowed into his voice, surprised.
Hestia broke into a grin. "He's right there Harry, dear. In the cage." With this Harry, and the two men in the portraits roared with laughter until you could see tears even in the painted eyes Fred and Sirius.
"That's bloody brilliant. Hestia I might hazard a guess that this was your handiwork? How long's he been like this?" He asked, the grin still spread over his gaunt and scarred face.
"Oh since sometime mid March. You know how I won't hear a word against you, dear. He just said one too many stupid things and I figured this would solve my problem. And it did, much easier hiding muggles who are scarred out of their wits that they'll be turned into hamsters as well." She said mischievously. "But me and Dedulas will have to be off. We are meeting Kingsley in an hour to discuss some, er, funeral arrangements. Any specific things you'd like Fred?"
"Yes, on my head stone can you put here like Forge, the better half of Gred and Forge. I think George would find it hole-y amusing." Said Fred in a light and airy voice. "Ha-ha, I must admit, hole-y has grown on me somewhat." He added to Harry.
"Well I must say your mother may have different thoughts on the matter, but if I can wangle it, I'll try. Good bye Harry, stay in touch. If you need anything, just write!" She said, sweeping Harry into a great bear hug. Then she and Dedulas Diggle waved to Dudley and his mother and swept form the house without another word.
"Erm, right. So I'll show you around. Firstly, this is Kreacher, my house elf. He does the cooking and cleaning and can help you with your things. If he doesn't like what your doing to the house, he'll be at you with the frying pan. I've given him permission," he added, shooting Petunia a dark look as she squirmed uncomfortably under his gaze. She thrown frying pans at Harry numerous times throughout his childhood, often times for no good reason other than some half-assed lie Dudley himself had told to get him in trouble.
" Well kitchens in the basement, bathroom is through the portrait of the snake and the mouse. Don't look at it for too long or the snake takes a liking to you and follows you around. I can talk him into stopping, but when he follows, he really follows. Hours at a time. And don't go into any other rooms than that. You don't know what is there and I don't either. I haven't had much time to live here so I'm still exploring. Also you will not be the only guests staying here. The Weasleys will be in London for the funerals this week, they'll be staying here. Hermione owled me and said she's found her parents in Australia and they'll be along in a day or two, they just need to get their affairs in order. They'll only be staying here for a week or so, until the curses on their house can be broken. And before you ask, they get it first because they weren't insufferably annoying captives who complained the whole ruddy time and its much easier in their situation. They're muggles as well, dentists, the both of them, but you'll have nothing in common. They love that Hermione is a witch. Think magic is wonderful. Couldn't be prouder." He said in a low, dangerous voice. Dudley knew he was still resentful for all the times they had told him he was a freak for being a wizard.
"Are you hungry? Kreacher is just serving dinner. Mince-meat pies, roast duck, noodles, mashed potatoes, treacle tart, and some other things. He's an excellent cook, I can't watch him or I end up eating half the meal before its even done so I don't know what else is on the menu." He already sounded tired of their company and they hadn't said a word to him yet. Or maybe he was just tired in general.
"Could you turn Vernon back into a man? I'd like to seem him; he's been a hamster for months now. That woman refused to turn him back until she saw fit. Please, Harry?" She added the last part when she noticed that Harry hardly seemed to care.
"Alright but if he starts to complain, I swear I'll put him back for good. You hear that uncle Vernon? My house, my rules. Finite Incantatem" and with a lazy wave of his wand, the cage and hamster vanished and Vernon Dursley was sprawled out on the floor looking much thinner and quite disheveled.
"Its about ruddy time! Been a bloody hamster for months! That stupid cow—" his rant ended prematurely when he was interrupted
"Shut your trap unless you want to spend a few years in a cage. I'm not fussy, that cage was bigger for your fat little hamster self that that cupboard was for me." Harry snarled. This immediately put a look of pure horror on Vernon's face and he hurriedly hugged his wife and son, never taking his eyes off Harry.
"Now lets eat before dinner gets cold."