Disclaimer: I have five bucks...do you think I own anything? Ten points if you said no.
"Where are we going first?" The black-haired trainer whined from his position on the couch. He was tired of listening to Pikachu slurp at his ketchup bottle. The only other noises were the gentle rumble of the engine mixed with the quiet voices of the adults, and the sound of chess pieces hitting the board.
Ash's mom looked at the map in her hands. "Well, we have plans to visit the museum in Pewter City first. To see the many fossils and other interesting exhibits."
Ash resumed staring at the ceiling, quiet for a while. He listened to another chess piece hit the smooth surface. Pikachu moaned, slinking back happily as he relinquished his hold on the empty ketchup bottle. Kadabra sent the mouse an annoyed glance as he moved a piece to another spot.
It wasn't long before Ash broke the silence. "I'm bored." Sabrina considered her options carefully before moving her knight. "Didn't you bring a Game Boy or something?"
"Yes, but it's in the bottom of the RV." The two psychics rolled their eyes and turned back to the game. Nothing was heard for a few minutes. Ash examined his fingernails, scraping the dirt out from under them. Then, he broke the silence, again.
"I'm still bored."
Sabrina's eye twitched; her pokemon looked annoyed. "Why don't you stop complaining and do something about it then?" She bit out between clenched teeth. The other trainer sat up and looked out the window of the RV. The gym leader turned back to the game of chess she and her pokemon were playing.
She looked at the board, as something wasn't right. She glared at her pokemon. "Did you cheat?"
"Kadabra."
"Liar. You moved my piece when I wasn't looking." Still her pokemon denied everything.
"Kadabra abra."
She and her pokemon spent the next five minutes arguing about who was lying, an almost visible haze surrounding both. Mr. Mime scooted to the front in the hopes of escaping a nuclear meltdown, mop and broom in hand. Ash turned from the window to watch with a mix of fear and amusement. Pikachu continued to lie on the floor in a semi comatose state induced by ketchup overload.
Suddenly the recreational vehicle gave a sharp jolt, ending the argument by tossing the pieces everywhere. Both psychics landed on their rear ends as they too were tossed. Ash fell onto the floor from the couch, his face smashing into the thin carpeting. Pikachu's ear twitched, but made no other movement.
"What the heck?" Sabrina demanded. She stood up, wiped at her pants, and went towards the front of the RV. The adults were already exiting the tacky mode of transportation. Ash soon joined them clustered around the front wheel of the RV. It had apparently blown. The other RVs pulled up behind the crippled vehicle.
Sabrina's dad bent down with a couple of tools and started to remove the useless wheel. "I can fix this."
Sabrina's mom wasn't so sure. "Are you sure? I can call somebody to fix it." Ed waved the suggestion off. "It isn't that big a deal."
"But Dad," Sabrina began. "Isn't that what you said about the VCR, the DVD player, the bicycle, and the lawn mower?" Her dad chose not to answer those questions, and instead began to awkwardly remove the tire. Pikachu finally exited the RV, and sat on top of Kadabra's head as everyone watched Sabrina's dad struggle with the tire. His hand slipped, and he jammed his fingers. His swearing filled the air, and Ash was forced to cover Pikachu's ears.
Sabrina leaned against the Pika RV, putting on a pair of sunglasses. "You'd better get comfortable," she said to the others. "The last time my dad tried to fix a car, we ended up stuck in the middle of nowhere for hours." Ash then proceeded in banging his head against the side of the RV. Sabrina and her pokemon watched him out of boredom.
The gym leader's mother approached the children. "Why don't you all go inside and watch TV or something?" Sabrina looked at her. "The battery would be dead before Dad even fixed the tire. Can't we call somebody?"
Both women turned their heads as another round of swearing filled the air. "Well..." Dawn finally said, "I guess I could always get them to say that they just happened to be driving by." Ash continued abusing the RV with his head. Pikachu thought this was a perfect time to annoy Kadabra by sitting on the psychic coyote's head.
"Are we there yet?" Meowth complained. A stray cushion spring poked him painfully in the back. Jessie jabbed her elbow into his side and growled, "For the millionth and last time, NO!"
James was sweating from the driver's seat, the lack of air conditioning obvious due to the sweat in the armpits of his t-shirt. "I can't see the twerps anywhere. They must have gone too far ahead." All three Rockets were tired, hungry, hot, and at the moment, dirt poor. Jessie shifted on the lumpy seat that poked her with springs. "I can't believe we spent all our food money on this hunk of scrap!"
Meowth looked at his human partners with sympathy. "But this was the only thing we could afford to follow the twerp. We can't afford the nicer RVs that have air conditioning and a bathroom."
The RV was a piece of work, in the worst sense of the meaning. It was a rusted silver shell on wheels, almost like a can of sardines. The tires were patched, the engine wouldn't start half the time if it was hot out, and the seats had springs sticking out of them. It had a tiny sink that put tiny sinks to shame. The faucet dripped; that is, if the RV even had water to begin with. There were also two beds, like closets, where there wasn't enough room to toss and turn in. And, like Meowth said, no bathrooms.
Due to the cramped nature of Team Rocket's transportation, Jessie had put Wobbuffet's pokeball in the glove compartment to prevent the blue blob from popping out and smothering someone.
"Hey, look there."
Jessie and Meowth looked out the window and spotted the three tacky RVs, parked along the side of the road. The adults of Team Twerp stood around the wheel of the first, where one was currently beating the tire with a monkey wrench. Jessie scanned the area in the hopes of seeing the trainers anywhere. She smirked when she saw the twerp hitting his head against the RV. "Pull over." She said.
James paled suddenly. "I can't!" He squealed. "The brakes won't work!" Jessie joined her male teammate in panicking. "What do you mean the breaks won't work!" She looked at the floor, where James's foot had the brake pushed all the way down to the floor. Meowth watched as the Twerps disappeared behind them fast.
"Looks like Team Rocket's driving off again!"
"Mooom, I'm hungry!" Max wailed, poking his head out his family's RV. May slammed a fist into the back of his head. "We're all hungry, stupid!" Max's eyes glistened with tears for a second. Then he began to bawl loudly. This irritated Sabrina, who sat on a blanket in the RV's shadow with Gary. Ash lay on top of the blanket, moaning every few minutes about the heat. Pikachu was still sitting on Kadabra's head. The small mouse was irritating the psychic with his body heat.
Finally, with the constant noise, Sabrina snapped. "SHUT UP!"
With everyone's attention, the psychic gave her father a run for his money, using every one of his swear words plus some little-known ones. She floated three feet above the ground, hair spread about her in a frenzy. The grass on the side of the road withered and died, and some nearby Pidgey flew off.
After her anger had diminished, Sabrina sunk back onto the blanket and began to sob. The other travelers looked to her father for answers. "She's very emotional right now..." He muttered, then proceeded to bang the tire with a wrench again. Several people drifted off to sleep in the midday humidity, the first being Sabrina.
Professor Oak finally took the initiative, seeing Max's hungry look. "How about I go and get some fast food? What do they want?" He asked, pointing to the two sleeping trainers on the blanket. May snorted. "Ash would eat dirt if he could." Dawn looked. "They both aren't picky; anything is okay."
After the professor left, May and Gary fell asleep. Max was bored, and that really wasn't a good thing when he was the only one awake. He looked to the front of the RV. The adults were busy being as bored as he was. The young boy snickered as he pulled out one of his mother's lipsticks, and made his way over to the sleeping trainers...
Professor Oak returned, an hour and a half later, bearing foodstuffs in bags. "I hope everyone's hungry!" He announced as he approached the still-sleeping people, stopping only when he spotted their faces. "Um...Wha?"
"Oh boy! Food!" Ash cheered, oblivious to the fact that he had flowers drawn on his face in lipstick. The others noticed, however, and only stopped snickering when they noticed the markings on each other as well. Gary crossed his arms, unable to see the scars that had been drawn on his cheeks, or the lightning bolt mark on his forehead. May squealed in the mirror when she saw that Max had drawn glasses around her eyes. Sabrina and Kadabra had matching red spots on their cheeks, almost like the ones on Pikachu's, and a heart around each eye.
Furious giggling grabbed everyone's attention, and Max flinched under the daggers he was receiving, dropping the lipstick. "We're going to kill you!" They shouted and gave chase. Ash merely watched them curiously. "Guess they aren't hungry..." He muttered to himself, then started on another cheeseburger.
"I've finally fixed that tire!"
Ash and Sabrina looked up from the card game they were playing with their pokemon. Sabrina's father stood in the doorway, holding up a monkey wrench in triumph with his banged up right hand.
"Oh joy." Sabrina rolled her eyes sarcastically. "And it only took six and a half hours..." She added with an undertone. Indeed, for the sun was sinking fast in the west, leaving few hours with which to continue driving. Sabrina's dad walked back to the driver's seat, and the RV roared to a start. Sabrina's mother was awoken from her position in the passenger seat, soon followed by Ash's mom. "Wha?"
"I fixed it." Dawn's eyes widened in amazement. "Really? Is this some kind of joke?"
Her husband's eye twitched in annoyance. "No it isn't..." Seeing her husband begin to drive off, she gasped. "What are you doing? We have to find a place to stay for the night." The gym leader's father once again waved the comment off. "Nonsense. I can probably make it to our next destination before dark."
So the RV drove off into the night, as two trainers and three pokemon braced themselves for one heck of a ride.
But what happened to Team Rocket? We may never know.
(To Be Continued...)
Next time, the group becomes subject to those extremely boring tours at the Pewter City Museum. But what does a mummy, its curse, and Team Rocket have to do with this? Find out next time.