Dinner was an interesting affair, to say the least. 'Well the conversations good, even if he barely acknowledges our presence. And its nice to have dad back. And I thought his godfather died, that's why he got this house? Maybe they get inheritances earlier? This place is cool though, food is excellent.' Dudley was deep in thought, but also listening keenly to the conversation going on around him. His mother and father were huddled at the table and eating tentatively, as if they would not put it past Harry to poison them. Harry on the other hand, was deep in conversation with some of his portraits. Dudley was finding everything about Harry's house magnificent, even though he hadn't really seen any of it.
"… and then when he started asking for identification I thought Hermione would have fainted, I mean since when the ruddy hell did Gringotts ask for identification, from Death Eaters no less? But Griphook was quick thinking and told me to put an Imperius Curse on Bogrod, which worked well enough. He was doing great until we came to the Thief's Downfall—"
"Thief's Downfall? What's that? My vault is right next to the Lestranges and there is only a Dragon down there. Or was only a dragon, before you lot took care of that." Harry's god father looked extremely proud that his god son and his friends "took care" of a dragon.
"It washes away all concealment spells, like disillusionment charms, Imperius Curses and polyjuice potion. The cart threw us off the track and thankfully Hermione had her wits about her and cast a cushioning charm to break the fall but we were soaked. For a moment I thought it had washed away my invisibility cloak but it hadn't, thankfully. Then we heard the goblins coming and we knew we had to act fast. So then I re-did the Imperius Curse, and Hermione repaired the cart and got on our way to the vault. Thankfully we were only a short distance, away by this time."
"My god what I wouldn't have given for James, Remus and I to have had this kind of adventure in our school days. Honestly if you ever do anything like this again, you are bringing my portrait with you and strapping me to your chest. I want to be in on the action. No ifs, ands or buts about it, Harry" said his God Father again, in an amused, breathless voice.
"Speaking of my father, where the ruddy hell is he? Did you go check Hogwarts for them?"
"Yes, no sign of then there. Though its summer holidays, they normally only go there to talk to students and teachers. But remember they've got about a dozen portraits to choose from. They'll turn up. James was never one for being punctual. I remember one time in 5th year, he walked into Transfiguration about twenty minutes late, and this is Minerva McGonagall we're talking about and she asked him why he was late. You know what he said?" Sirius asked laughing.
"No, but I bet McGonagall skinned him alive." Harry sounded highly amused as well, but still looked sickly. The haunted looking in his eyes faded slightly to make away for the amusement in them.
"He said he was a hopeless case for transfiguration unless he got a proper bit of fresh air in between classes. Surprisingly enough McGonagall didn't really do anything. James was happy, showed up late every day for about a week. Then he stopped. One day it was raining out and he showed up on time and she commented on his punctuality. You know what she did then?"
"I think I have a bit of an idea.."
"Well I'm sure you guessed but she sent him out for a walk in the rain! Oh he came in soaked to the bone, teeth chattering, lips blue from the cold. Then she made him sit there, frozen to the spot while she gave her most painstakingly slow lecture on punctuality and its importance in life before she'd let him dry himself off. Oh he was never late for anything with her again, even after school. Not many of us had the gall to be after she made an example out of your dad. James has always been the kind of person that you invite to dinner at 7 on a Tuesday and he shows up for breakfast on Wednesday of the following week!" He was grinning ear to ear while Harry, Fred Weasley and several other portraits roared with laughter. Then a small squeak came form the other end of the table.
"E-excuse m-me. D-did you j-just say Harry's father was s-supposed to come to d-dinner?" Petunia stammered, a look of the utmost horror on her suddenly pale face. Dudley shared his mother confusion at how Harry's dead father would make it for dinner.
"Oh, uh yeah. Wizarding portraits are all of dead people, and they can talk and such as if they never died. They still remember things. My parents have had most of their portrits done recently, because after we found one, its much easier to duplicate it." Said Harry in a mild voice, as if anyone's dead parents could stroll into dinner.
"Yes Lily and James like to stop by the house a few times a day, check up on Harry, make sure that there are no stupid muggles around to bother him. They have portraits all over the country so you never know where they are. They may be dead, but so is everyone else in the portraits. Fred, Great Uncle Alfond, Cousin Sephora and myself. The empty ones just mean that who ever owns the portrait is off in one of their other portraits or is visiting another portrait in the house. That one above the fireplace is Lily and James'. Then we have Remus Lupin, who is also a dear friend of mine who happens to be a werewolf, and his wife Tonks. Albus Dumbledore, but you've met him, he's been arranging Harry's life from the start. Cedric Diggory, died in the Triwizard Championship a few years ago. Him and Harry were the Hogwarts champions. Severus Snape—"
"Did you just say Severus Snape?" Petunia whispered in a hoarse whisper. This was like the time she knew about those dementor things that attacked him, even though she had always stated that she detested magic. Dudley figured he took his mother knew a hell of a lot more about the wizarding world than she chose to let on.
"Oh yeah, Professor Snape's a hero. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for him, all around. I take it you remember him Aunt Petunia?" asked Harry in a mocking tone.
"He told you we'd met? Well it certainly did help to open my eyes to the horrifying.." she trailed off at the half dozen angry glares that were aimed at her, Dudley's included.
"He didn't tell me a damn thing. Saw it in his memories. You'd have got on well with Professor Snape if he wasn't a wizard. Hated every bone in my body. Saved my tail more times than I can count, but hated me all the same. He may have thought the world of my mum, but he didn't think my dad was worth a damn either." He added to Uncle Vernon who continued to pick at his noodles. Then a deep, sneering voice drawled into the room, coming from a portrait of a man with long black hair, a hook nose and the most fearsome scowl on his face that Dudley had ever seen.
"Lily and James wished me to inform you that they are tied up in an important meeting at the ministry, and – ahhhh.. Harry why didn't you inform me that you had guests?" said the portrait deviously. Dudley was already terrified of the man.
"Professor Snape were your ears burning? I swear we were just on about your dashing new hair cut! And you simply must be using—"
"Mr. Weasley if I ever find a way to hex the dead while I myself am deceased, you shall be first on my list. I shudder to think of the irritation I will face when I am forced to be in the same room as you and you twin again. Petunia, how nice to see you again. I daresay you are enjoying your magical company?" he said in a cold voice, the malice and cold hearted hate evident even on the canvas.
"This is all your fault! Its you fault Lily was a witch, it's your fault she went traipsing off to that freak school and it's your fault she got herself killed and I got stuck with him!" shrieked Petunia in her shrill voice, nodding her head at Harry. Dudley was dumbfounded. The way she was talking you'd think she actually liked her sister, missed her even; she was talking like she hadn't made it crystal clear that her sister was a "no-good freak" for Dudley's entire life. The man in the picture looked taken aback for a moment before regaining his composure.
"Shut up. Shut up, Shut up, SHUT UP! How dare you speak to him like that! You have no idea what your talking about. Why are you all of the sudden so interested in what happened to my mother? Didn't even care enough about it to tell me the damn truth the whole ten years I lived with you. You're horrible! Snape did more for me than you even did! You'll not speak to him in that manner or you'll be the next one turned into a hamster!" Harry was screaming and pointing his wand at Petunia. He looked angrier than he'd ever had the entire time Dudley had known him, and Dudley had seen Harry angry plenty of times the last few years.
"Well said Mr. Potter. I do not deny that it was my fault Lily was killed, but it was not my fault that she was a witch you stupid muggle. She died for the same cause that Myself, Black, Lupin, Tonks, Weasley and thousands of others did; though it may be some consolation to you that we had the same killer. We all died so that others may live, I would not expect your pathetic muggle brain to comprehend that." He spat, looking at Petunia with a look normally reserved for murderers and rapists. "And what was that about a hamster?" he added, looking at Harry.
"My fat-headed uncle mouthed off to Hestia one to many times while she was helping to protect him and his family! And then he spent a few months as a hamster. I stupidly changed him back when they arrived. Though I can easily remedy that. Now get out of my sight so I can have a civilized conversation!" Harry glared Dudley's parents, his chest heaving. They ran to the room Kreacher had shown them earlier, and as soon as the door slammed, a dragging noise as if they were attempting to barricade the door.
"Stupid Muggles. Your a better man than I am Harry, I'd of killed the lot of them as soon as I came of age. No offense Diddykins, I kinda see that your not as big a prat as you used to be." Fred Weasley said angrily.
"Fred its 8, you should be getting back to The Burrow for dinner. If you wouldn't mind, could you pop in later and tell me what time they're coming tomorrow? I want to make sure I've got all the rooms made up. Oh, and be sure to tell Ron that Hermione should arrive here some time in the night; I expect that he'll be waiting on my doorstep by dawn. You were saying, Professor?" Harry was in a much more pleasant mood now. Dudley was going to talk sense into his parents or he might end up being the son of hamsters forever.
"Your parents are in a meeting tonight, I expect you know the one. Your mother said they probably won't be out before 11, and she won't come by because she expects you to get good nights sleep. She wants you in bed by 10:30 at the latest. No doubt she knows you've inherited your fathers knack for getting into trouble well past the time you should be in bed. Does she know of your visitors?" The man asked. 'He's one of Harry's teachers? Maybe Harry really did get beaten at school. That must have been horrible, being taught by this man.' Dudley darkly thought.
"No I thought I'd leave that a surprise. My dad knows though, he was going to scare uncle Vernon in the loo one day 'cause I told him he was such a prat. Honestly, though. My mother must be 'round the bend. I'll be 18 in a month and she still thinks I should have a bed time? I mean, I could understand if she was like your age or something. But she died when she was twenty-one. She's only 3 years older than I am!" Harry said indignantly as the portraits laughed at this. Harry laughed with the scary man as well, though it looked like an awkward moment; Dudley had the impression that they didn't do this very often.
"She was a brilliant woman, your mother. She really has been this maternal since we were kids. She's been waiting for you since she was 10. She named her cat 'Harry' and tried to name my first owl that as well. She adored the name to say the least. I think she may stop by some time tonight, she seems to enjoy alot of late night chats with Walpurgis Black.." He had an evil smirk on his face, as Harry's godfather and the Twin snickered.
"Walpurgis Black..? What... Oh Merlin's Pants. You're kidding me? She watches me sleep? Your kidding? Well, I'll have a word with her about that. 18 years old, not 18 months..." Harry was groaning as everyone else laughed. 'Well it's good he finally has some one to look in on him now. I know hes always wanted that.' Dudley thought as he slid from the room, not wanting to disturb his cousin in a state so contented.