"Nothing is fair or good alone."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -
The verdict wasn't anything of a shock. Both Wolenczaks lost parental rights and would have to appear before the court again for sentencing. What had been the shock was Martavianne's adamant statement that custody of Lucas would be given to not only Nathan, but Kristin as well.
"Lucas needs more than one parent and while Captain Bridger is whom Lucas had declared he'd like to be with, I think the state of affairs is such that Dr. Westphalen also has a fair impact on his life," she told the court, watching Lieutenants Krieg and O'Neill try to hide their smiles while Kristin and Nathan sat slightly stunned.
Lucas, released just for the few hours (and contingent upon him telling Kristin if he grew tired), sat beside them both and his foot bounced excitedly. He never looked at the defense table -- he didn't want to see the contempt flung at him -- and Lucas watched Martavianne as she made her final announcement.
"Therefore, I have decided that Lucas Wolenczak is here now and evermore the son of Nathan Hale Bridger, Captain, and under the guardianship hereto of Kristin Westphalen, M.D. and Ph.D."
Nathan knew the gavel had come down, that court was no longer in session and Lucas was being whacked on the back by all the men, but he'd gone a little numb. He finally looked at Lucas, taking the boy in a hug.
If he was honest with himself, he hadn't really expected the day to come despite how rushed things had been. He'd been steeling himself since the paperwork had been filed against the ruling that he would not be allowed to adopt Lucas. After all, he was the Commanding Officer of the seaQuest – the UEO wouldn't have allowed it.
And yet they had.
He hugged Lucas tighter, just managing to make out the words slipping from Lucas' lips. "You're welcome, kiddo," Nathan told him. Lucas let him go after a minute and turned to Ben, who reached over the row to hug Lucas himself.
They were all so busy congratulating Lucas that no one noticed Lawrence break away from his group; didn't see him move quickly toward the boy until Lucas was recoiling from the slap. Nathan had Wolenczak tackled before the bailiffs could react.
Martavianne, who'd been talking to the stenographer, got to her feet immediately and though Bridger had seen a fair number of Kristin's angry tirades, the Admiral far surpassed any of them. She ordered Lawrence from the room without her raising her voice, but the tone was far deadlier than it had ever been before.
Nathan forced himself to not look away from the sight of Lawrence being led away until the man had been obscured by elevator doors. Only then did he turn to Lucas who was still covering the left side of his face with one hand. Kristin was trying to examine it without making it an order.
"Lucas, let Kristin see," he instructed. He quickly told Ben to get the car, tossing the keys at the man. He sent Tim and Miguel along with him and moved next to Lucas, pulling the boy's fingers out of the way.
Kristin sighed, "Well, that'll be a nice sized bruise."
Lucas didn't say anything. He was still shocked by the fact that he'd been struck and in a courtroom no less. He reached for Nathan and hated himself for it; how many beatings had he endured? How many times had he been hit and never needed comfort before? Lucas hated the sudden weakness, yet embraced it at the same time.
He rubbed his eyes quickly when they parted. Lucas didn't look up at Nathan at first, but he steeled himself with a glance at the vacated defense table.
It was time to stop being afraid.
"I think I'm okay now," Lucas told Bridger, feeling relief flood through him as he spoke. "Yeah. I'm okay. I'm not going to let them scare me anymore." Lucas looked over at Kristin, who nodded at him with a happy expression coloring her features.
Nathan laid a hand on his shoulder, his mouth curved into a gentle smile.
"Promise me you'll always remember:
You're braver than you believe,
and stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think."
- A. A. Milne -
"Easy, kiddo." Nathan held Lucas' shoulders, trying to keep the boy from falling face first into the toilet. "Don't fight it," he instructed, though he knew it only annoyed Lucas to be told how to vomit properly.
Kristin came in, her hair in disarray, with Abbott in tow. Both of them had been working overtime since the trial's close a week before. Lucas had another treatment the day of the verdict and had been sick ever since. He was able to keep down sips of water and broth, allowing him to be discharged from the hospital, but the estate wasn't a place anyone felt comfortable bringing him.
So to seaQuest it was. The medbay's refits and updates had been the first to be completed in case of a situation such as this.
Lucas had been settled into his usual room barely an hour before he'd managed to get himself into the bathroom and hadn't left. Kristin had tried to get him back into bed several times, all for naught. Reluctantly accepting that she wouldn't be able to ease his suffering as much as she wanted, she and Jessie had set up informal shifts of volunteers to stay with Lucas throughout the day and night.
"How's he doing?" Abbott asked. He could see that Lucas was unwell, of course, but Nathan had been able to give them decent descriptions of things like how much time occurred between retching, how much came up, and if Lucas' pain was growing in intensity.
"He's getting tired," Nathan replied and moved Lucas back against the small nest of pillows and blankets they'd arranged to keep him comfortable. "Think you can talk?" He rubbed Lucas' hand and wasn't surprised when Lucas shook his head slightly.
"That's alright," Abbott said. "Kristin and I have been talking over all the meds we've had you on, Lucas, and we think that we're going to try something new. It's possible that a combination of drugs might work better than the increasing doses of singular ones." Jones crouched down next to the boy. "We're not sure what side effects you'll have, if any, or how intense they may be, so we're leaving it up to you, Lucas. What do you want to do?"
Lucas looked at Nathan and didn't speak, but he knew the Captain would understand what he wanted to convey.
"Do it." Nathan wasn't okay with anything that would make Lucas feel worse than he already did, except everything they gave him to combat the cancer made Lucas' body rebel. It was inevitable and he knew he was powerless to stop something that could possibly have a chance to help his son.
He didn't stop the smile. True, he was sitting on the floor with Lucas who was skinny, bald, and sick-- except that skinny, bald, and sick kid was his. It warmed Nathan every time he thought of it, his mind wrapping around it a little more everyday.
And he had thought of Robert – just not as he had earlier, fearing Lucas would see himself as a replacement. All memories of Robert that came to the surface made him realize that Robert would have loved Lucas, would have teased the boy and helped him. It made him realize that Robert had one place in his heart and Lucas had another.
Lucas touched Nathan's hand as he leaned forward slightly and Nathan moved to help him back over the toilet.
He stroked Lucas' cheek, watching when Kristin walked in and tensing just a little as she injected his IV with the medication. It would take several moments to render an effect, but Nathan hoped it was sooner rather than later.
Kristin and Abbott stood in the doorway, both sets of watchful eyes on Lucas as the minutes ticked by. The drip of the fluid in the line was a visual marker of the time for Nathan and he'd counted two-hundred sixty-three drops before Lucas started to relax. His body finally stopped jerking with the effort of expelling his stomach's contents and Lucas laid back.
Westphalen let out the breath she'd been holding. Relief flooded her and she told them, "So long as his stomach holds out, I want him in a bed. The floor is too cold for him to be sleeping on."
Nathan nodded, though he could see Lucas was not too keen on the idea. A week of being physically sick near constantly had conditioned him to the fact that having the toilet next to him was better than throwing up on himself. But a bed had the merits of warmth and pillows.
He weighed his options and then looked at Nathan, "Okay." His voice was small, careful. Lucas was hoarse from the vomiting and from disuse as talking had aggravated his gag reflex several times, causing him to just stop all together.
Between Nathan and Abbott, they managed to settle Lucas into the bed without too much fuss and without causing Lucas any undue stress. Clean blankets and pillows were already set out; the crystal dolphin prism Ben had bought him was handed to him as Nathan covered Lucas with one of the seven blankets Kristin had supplied.
Lucas clutched the dolphin, kicking the blanket down to his waist. The cool air of the infirmary made his headache ease and he rested the crystal on his forehead, closing his eyes. His stomach rolled but he didn't get sick; he held a hand over his eyes as he opened them and asked, "Tylenol?"
Despite the hopeful look, Nathan knew aspirin was not allowed to be given to Lucas due to the liver damage. At least not for a while. He looked at Kristin, "Is there anything we can give him?"
"I'm hesitant," She told him and didn't continue. It was difficult to deny Lucas the simplest of medications, but so many drugs were already coursing through his veins. Kristin didn't want to chance adding to it with a blood thinner.
Nathan gave her pleading look though, almost begging her to do something but Kristin simply turned and fiddled with the lights. Put down to dim level, Lucas was able to open his eyes more and he blinked as they focused. Lucas noted the lack of external noise; Kristin had closed the hatch as she'd disappeared.
"I talked to Commander Ford. We're ahead of schedule on the repairs. Looks like we'll be out of dock a few weeks earlier than expected if everything keeps running so smoothly," Nathan whispered, brushing his fingers along Lucas' temple.
Lucas blinked and clutched the dolphin a little tighter, "Kay." He was glad to hear it; Lucas didn't like being trapped upworld, but he was too tired to say so. It'd been a while since he'd had a full nights' rest.
"You're doing good, Lucas. Keep it up," Nathan told him. He almost added how proud Nathan was of him, how brave Lucas was, but Lucas didn't want to hear such things. He'd already told Bridger several times that he felt like he needed to live up to expectations every time he was told such things.
"Working on it."
Nathan stayed beside his son, stroking Lucas' head gently and waiting for the boy to nod off though he never did. Lucas laid there with closed eyes, and twitched every so often until Kristin walked in and realized Lucas was still awake.
"Leave him alone, Kristin. He'll sleep if he wants," Nathan said though he knew it wasn't needed – if she wouldn't give Lucas something for a headache, she wouldn't be forcing him to sleep.
So much of the interactions between Lucas and everyone else had been rote. They all made little arguments, said things that didn't need to be, just to keep some semblance of normalcy between them all as Lucas appeared to go downhill yet was actually getting better.
Levine had returned to the boat a few days before and upon seeing Lucas amended his earlier statement about Lucas' health and the treatment – the chemo wasn't killing him, but it certainly was giving them all a run for their money. He slipped back into his normal role easily enough with Lucas, however, sitting with Abbott and Jessie and Kristin and offering what he thought could help.
Still unsure of how herbal treatments could help, Nathan hadn't even told Lucas about the option. He felt that while Lucas was still responding to the normal therapies, he wasn't going to screw that up. And Lucas could ream him out later for it.
Lucas had grown used to Nathan dazing out when he had nothing pressing to take his attention and he could see that whatever the Captain was thinking over was pretty serious. Or he assumed given the expression on Nathan's face. Either way, Lucas wasn't going to interrupt him and set to thinking himself.
He thought of the things people said even when he didn't want to hear it; the things Ben told him the day he'd given him the crystal dolphin. Lucas didn't like thinking of himself as brave or strong. Freakishly intelligent, sure, but he knew there were plenty of times he was hiding in his quarters and hoping no one would find him.
Still, could it be such a horrible thing to think that he was being brave by fighting to stay alive despite his body's best efforts to the contrary? Could it be so horrible to take pride in not giving up all together and letting the cancer win? Lucas closed his eyes and contemplated it.
Lawrence had taught him as he was growing up that pride was something to revel in, but that Lucas was a failure in so many ways that it would matter little if he had pride because he'd be mocked and jeered. His fa... Lawrence had also beaten him so many times Lucas had become quite adept at lying about injuries and covering up wounds to ensure the man's dignity wouldn't be damaged.
Lucas snorted. All those years of fighting to protect the Wolenczaks' had been for naught because there he was, laying in a bed with the lights down and cancer in his cells; Nathan standing at his side where neither Cynthia nor Lawrence would ever have been.
"Thanks," He whispered to Nathan. His eyes whipped to Lucas' and Bridger smiled at him as a response. No words needed to be said that Nathan sought no recognition for what he had done and Lucas allowed himself to grin briefly.
Maybe he could be a little proud of himself...
"Who you are speaks so loudly
I can't hear what you're saying."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -
The days grew longer for Kristin after that. Lucas' blood work grew better, but there were still dips in it. As the round of chemo came to a close, she finally managed to get some time outside of the nearly-deserted medbay.
Most of seaQuest was coming back online and Nathan had been overjoyed to realize that the refits and repairs weren't going to take the four month estimate at all. At the rate they were going, the boat would be under way in a month, having already been in dock for nearly two.
Crewmembers had returned happily as quarters opened up; all came aboard with a smile, threw their things in their rooms, and immediately set to work on some project or another. Kristin hadn't understood their need to work overtime on getting seaQuest running, and Nathan had tried to explain that when a submariner was forced upworld, it was like someone was telling them not to breathe.
She settled against her blanket and tried to think of something that could help her empathize with the idea. It came easily – if someone had told her she couldn't help treat Lucas, it would be like someone cutting off her hands.
"The door was open," Ben said as he stood just inside her room, a little sheepish as he did so.
Kristin nodded, "Come in." She gestured to a chair and made him sit before letting the man speak. "Now, what's on your mind, Ben?" She asked, moving into her own chair; close enough to actually get a good look at him, she could see that he was overtired. Her eyes narrowed, gearing up for a tirade about the military, but Ben shook his head.
"It's not the Captain," He told her. "I, um, I've been spending a lot of time with Katie, and," He paused, scratching his neck nervously, "I think I want to get back together with her."
She let out a breath. Kristin had been expecting to hear such a comment for a while, though it was a surprise that it was Ben who'd come to her and not Katie. But with Nathan focusing on his son, Ben had likely picked the one person he knew could help him without spreading it about seaQuest.
"Okay," She said, thinking. Kristin breathed and quickly decided the best question to ask, though Ben beat her to it.
"Mom loved Katie. I mean really loved Katie, and when we got divorced, we had this big fight," He looked down and then half-smirked as he corrected himself. "Actually a pretty massive fight. We hadn't spoken since the day I told her and when my sister called to say Mom was dying...
"Anyway, it made me think, you know? Made me think about Katie and what life could have been like if I had just grown up a little."
Kristin patted his hand, "I don't know about what life could have been like, but I know that now, since Lucas has been ill, we've all seen a side of you that we didn't realize was there." She glanced at his peach-fuzz covered head to get across her point, "Truthfully, I worried when Lucas got sick that you would back away from him, but you've only gotten closer. You've stayed with him when no one could and gotten him to smile."
He looked at her, not understanding what Lucas had to do with Katie. Ben shrugged, "He's a kid. And I understand some of what he's been through. My dad wasn't the sweetest guy either."
"What I meant, Ben, was that Lucas got sick and you didn't react like a maladjusted adult. You stepped up and helped take care of him," She sat back in the chair, relaxing. "You have this part of you that's more mature than any of us knew, but you hid it so well that I bet even Lucas didn't know about it."
Ben made a face, "I acted mature a lot when I was younger and between Mom's stays in the mental institution and Dad's drinking, I took care of Emma. I never got to be stupid."
"And now that you're an adult, you're making up for lost time," Kristin said, as if all the little puzzle pieces she had of Ben were falling into place.
"I guess I don't want to let go of it all yet. It's fun to run around and do idiotic things, especially with Lucas," He ran a hand over his scalp. "But I guess I'm getting too old for that logic, huh?"
Kristin nodded, "Unfortunately, I think it's time to let your fun have its place and time." She watched him tremble a little and reached forward to hug him, just for a few moments, then let go. "Does... Does Katie know about your father?"
He shook his head, "Dad's not a topic that I like to talk about. I have. I just really prefer not too."
"Talk to her, Ben. She'll listen, but you can't keep hiding behind these emotional defenses. Nothing bad will happen if you tell her the truth." Kristin noted the look in his eyes, as if the entire world was coming down on him, "You've both been dancing around each other for months. Just talk to her."
"And if she doesn't want to hear it?" Ben murmured, not having enough in him to say it louder.
"You underestimate her," Kristin said simply. She stood then, and told him, "Would you rather spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been or would you rather spend it knowing you did what you could?"
Ben sighed, "Yeah. Yeah." He got to his feet and nodded, "I, um, thanks, Doc."
All her instincts made her feel like Ben was looking at her as a mother and she reacted in the same manner – she pulled Ben to her, hugging him tightly for the second time in an hour, and when they pulled apart, Kristin smiled at him. She pushed him toward the door gently, "Go on."
She crossed her arms as he left and continued to stand in the middle of her quarters for a few minutes before knocking herself from her reverie.
Sometimes she felt like she knew none of the crew, like they were all strangers who passed through her medbay at one time or another, but then there were the times she felt like she was the voice of reason. Sometimes she felt as if she was the parent and those times normally ended with surgeries.
"Kristin," Nathan called softly as he knocked on the hatch. He pushed it open a bit and looked at her, "Are you alright?"
She nodded, "Yes, fine. Just thinking." She noticed the book in his hands and took it, "I see my daughter has been up to her old tricks."
Nathan watched her, waiting for her inevitable reaction. Cynthia Westphalen had developed habit of sending things to Nathan; she loved to send things that would embarrass her mother, including old photos of Kristin with bad hair cuts. When Kristin had asked why, Cynthia's response had been that if her mother was to marry the man, then he needed to know what he was getting into. She'd quickly deflected the idea that Nathan hadn't even proposed.
Kristin had called her a smartass and Nathan had found an editorial Kristin had written in her youth from The Independent in his next batch of mail.
However, in recent weeks, Cynthia had included a few things for Lucas as well. Kristin had thanked her for that, since Kristin had worried how Cynthia would take the news that Lucas was now family.
What she held at the moment was not Cynthia's normal style and it had obviously taken a lot of work: a family album. Nathan had expected it to be filled with pictures from Kristin's life – her childhood, Cynthia's, weddings and Kristin's brother. But it wasn't.
In between the covers were stills not only of Kristin and Cynthia, but of Lucas and Nathan. Here and there were pictures of Darwin, Ben, Tim, and Miguel; Jonathan and Crocker appeared at least once, and there was the picture they'd taken after they had shaven their heads.
Kristin was stunned and Nathan could see it. She ran a hand over the glossy pages, looking at the pictures and doing a good impression of a fish. It took several moments before she broke from the surprise, looking up and managing out a weak, "She's good."
Nathan laughed, "She's just like you."
"Lucas is going to love this," She told him, "Absolutely love this." Kristin finally closed it and put it to the side, wishing for the hundredth time that Cynthia had been able to come visit but her humanitarian work took up most of the woman's time.
"Was that Ben I saw?" Nathan asked as he moved to the bed and leaned back in it.
Kristin curled close and shut her eyes, "He's going to talk to Katie tonight." She smirked at the knowledge, "Poor boy."
"Let's hope the two of them can work things out. If I had to leave the bridge to mediate one more of their arguments, I think Jonathan was going to drown Ben," He said and rubbed her arm with one hand. "Think we'll get a few minutes tonight without some sort of emergency?"
"You wish. I think we should savor the time we've got at the moment. Lucas isn't going to sleep for long and once he does, you're going to have to help me get more blood from him," She informed him of that matter-of-factly and Nathan nodded.
They were silent then, letting it wash over them. Nathan had nearly fallen asleep when his PAL chirped just as Kristin's did. Levine's and Ford's voices rang out and jumbled together; Lucas could be heard in the din and then there were knocks on the door.
"Back into the fray then," Kristin groaned as they went in their separate directions.
"Over the years, your bodies become
walking autobiographies, telling friends
and strangers alike of the major and
minor stresses of your lives."
- Marilyn Ferguson -
Lucas tracked Kristin around the room as she moved, her worried actions calming in their repetition. She'd been doing it for an hour while they waited for his blood work to finish and truthfully, it had helped to ease his nausea to have something to focus on.
Others were nearby and Lucas had wished everyone would go away, let him be. He didn't really care what the results said – if they were good, they would allow him out of the medbay; if they were bad, he was trapped. However, results that said he was healing didn't mean he still wouldn't be trapped as his energy levels had dropped. He would be relegated to the Captain's care once more and his separation from Darwin would continue.
Needless to say, he wasn't all that happy.
Levine walked in after Kristin had fiddled with Lucas' IV for the seventh time and Lucas waited a little impatiently for one of them to tell him if he could leave. Neither one made a move to and he struggled to sit up, then asked, "So? Can I get out of here?"
Kristin turned to him, startled as if she'd forgotten Lucas was there. She swallowed and told him, "Nathan can take you, yes, but..."
He grumbled – there was always a but.
"You have to promise to rest. You cannot go gallivanting around the ship with Ben or Tim or Miguel, understand me?" She told him, knowing it was a moot point to tell him no trouble making. Lucas could barely hold himself upright; there was no way he was going to be moving about seaQuest.
"Can I at least have a computer?" Lucas hoped she'd let him have something to do; Nathan couldn't be there to entertain him every hour of the day nor did him want him to. There were some times Lucas needed some solitude, something he and the Captain had discussed at great length one night.
"Only one. You can do a little work so long as you spend most of the time resting," Kristin relented. She knew Lucas' new quarters, a moderately sized room next to the wardroom, was nearly finished and he'd soon have more than just the one computer. Until then, however, she was going to try to monitor his computer use.
Nathan had been standing at his side, quiet. He'd told Lucas it was his health and he could ask any questions he wanted, that he could make any decision he wanted. Of course that had led the way for Lucas to begin arguing more often with Kristin and the other doctors, but Nathan never got involved – unless it was when Lucas was throwing up on his shoes while running a high fever and yelling that he wasn't doing anymore Chemo.
They were volleying back and forth over a definition of "appropriate leisure time activities" when Levine gestured between the two and Nathan silently agreed. If Lucas was up for complaining, then his mental state was fine.
They went on for a good ten minutes before Nathan finally interrupted, knowing he had to get Lucas settled in quarters and report to the seadeck before Jonathan's shift on the refit ended. It had immediately started Kristin and Lucas on a fight over Lucas using a wheelchair, which ate up another five minutes and Nathan eventually sided with Kristin for the sake of time.
Lucas sulked the entire way to Nathan's room; he wasn't really upset that he'd lost the argument, but more that Kristin had been right – his body wouldn't have been able to handle the walk from medbay. Even moving from the chair to the maglev bench had been tiring.
Ben had a computer already set up when they arrived and had snuck over a few other toys as well, before disappearing to ensure Nathan couldn't order him to remove them. At least, it was the most likely case.
"Don't get too excited. You can keep the smaller stuff and we'll hide it, but everything else has to go back. She'll have you back in medbay before either of us will have time to plead our case," Nathan told him as he weeded through the technology.
Lucas watched Nathan as the man moved around the quarters, sweeping away some items and hiding the music and movie vids. He picked several other things up and told Lucas he'd be back in a few hours; Ben and Miguel would be by in an hour or so, and please don't do anything that would get Kristin and Abbott upset.
With Nathan gone, Lucas was free to do as he pleased. And at that moment, Lucas wanted to get a good look at his body – between the exhaustion and the treatments and the trial, Lucas hadn't been able to see his own body in its entirety for three and a half months.
The head wasn't far from the bunk, but Lucas knew it would tire him out too much to walk there. Only he needed to see and his brain turned over several options, coming up with using the vidscreen.
It took all of five minutes to program the screen to feed back images of himself and with just a bit of lingering hesitation, Lucas pulled his shirt over his head.
His skin was pale, nearly snow white from the lack of sun and his IC line jutted from his chest. A deep brown burn surrounded it; Lucas stroked a hand around the edge of it. He stroked a hand down his side, feeling the differences in his flesh. From his shoulder to his waist, it was dry and peeling, but as the roving fingers dipped into his waistband the skin grew softer.
Removing his pants was much harder. It required him to shift and shimmy. Twist, until the garment fell to the floor in a cotton puddle. Once they were gone, he could see how thin his legs had gotten, how the muscles had atrophied. His veins were more prominent and Lucas could see where an IV had been not too long before.
"Hey, kid," Ben said quietly.
Lucas whipped his head up, grabbing for a blanket to cover himself, "What?!" With his clothes on the floor, Lucas could only hide beneath the comforter and stare at his two friends.
Miguel shoved Ben into the quarters and locked the hatch behind them. He reached for Lucas' clothes and set them on the bed. "Curious, huh? You want us to leave?" Miguel asked, knowing Lucas was probably upset about the radical changes in a body the boy had known well not too long before.
Nodding anxiously, Lucas felt a bit of relief when Ben and Miguel started to leave and then stopped them. "Wait," he croaked, slightly more relaxed than he'd been. He was embarrassed that they had seen him in nothing but his underwear, but they were his friends and he needed to assure them that they hadn't walked in on him doing anything more than looking.
Ben looked at him, "What's up?" He said nothing more then, hoping to avoid making Lucas feel pressured. He was scared Lucas would feel ashamed for having been caught in the act of touching at himself, and truthfully, Ben could care less. It would only be a problem if Lucas felt his body was disgusting or ugly.
"I just need to see, you know? I'm not... you know," He couldn't continue facing them and rubbed an arm. "I'm not touching myself like... like that."
Krieg walked back over and leaned against the bunk. "It's not so different, junior. Skinnier than you used to be, but we'll stuff you with the good, greasy food later." He went quiet, letting Lucas breathe for a second before telling him, "Darwin's waiting," and handing him his clothes.
"Yeah," the boy muttered and started to pull on his shirt. It was difficult; Lucas had expended most of his energy getting the clothes off in the first place and Miguel ended up helping him get dressed again. Ben fought with the wheelchair Nathan had closed up, getting it open just as Lucas fixed the drawstring on his pants.
"One trouble with trouble is
that it usually starts out like fun."
- Anonymous -
Darwin began chattering the minute Lucas appeared at the moon pool's edge; the vocorder was turned off, but Lucas could understand how happy the dolphin was to see him without it. Lucas reached out to pet Darwin, pulling himself up and out of the chair.
He leaned there and continued rubbing Darwin's side, until Ben flung a wetsuit at him and Miguel smirked.
"Uh, no," He recoiled from it and shook his head, "Guys, no. The Captain will get in trouble with Dr. Westphalen or I'll get sent back to medbay or something. I can sit here, really." Lucas watched the two men for a second, hoping they'd lay off of him.
Ben shrugged at him, however, and told him, "Don't worry. Commander Ford had to report to headquarters with Katie; the Captain is on B-Deck, and Dr. Westphalen is with Dr. Jones in her office. It's safe." He nodded at Miguel to go change and added, "We're not gonna let you stay in for more than twenty minutes or so anyway."
At least such was Ben's thought. He'd programmed his watch to beep after forty minutes had passed, but never turned on the sound. Lucas ended up staying the water for well over an hour – long enough to play a game with Darwin and do a few laps with some help from Miguel. They were mid-joke about mermaids and Ford when Lucas decided to dunk his head under the water.
He came back up to see the Captain standing beside the moonpool with horror in his eyes, as if the world was ending. "Kristin was on her way down. We have to get him dry and changed in five minutes or we're all going to be in trouble," he told them and reached for Lucas.
"But..." Lucas tried, wanting to stay in a little longer even if he was pretty well pruned. He knew it'd be a while before he'd get to see Darwin again, and he wanted every minute he could.
"No buts, kiddo. You, she won't do more than guilt. Me, she'll torture," Nathan responded. He didn't want to make Lucas leave his best friend, but Kristin would and could make all their lives miserable if she found out Lucas had been swimming in something other than a bathtub.
"Oh, I don't know about torture. Maiming. Now that has a certain appeal to me," Kristin's voice came from behind them and Ben attempted to escape from the room. "Don't even think about it, Lieutenant," She told him and walked further into the room.
Lucas searched for something to say that would get them all out of trouble, but came up with nothing. He tried looking innocent, which only earned him the Kristin Westphalen look of death – her arms crossed over her chest, both eyes squeezed into a glare, and her entire body leaned back on her heel.
"I just wanted to play with Darwin," He told her. "I only went under once."
Kristin didn't look appeased, "It's not your head I'm worried about. It's your chest! Out!" She made a shooing motion with her hand and grabbed Miguel as he attempted to escape. "I want him out of the pool, Mr. Ortiz. Not you out of the room."
Miguel had the decency to be embarrassed and helped Ben to pull Lucas from the water. The trio stood dripping at the edge of the pool then, all looking sheepish and their faces red. Lucas scratched an arm idly, but Kristin could tell it was an act – he didn't feel guilty and he seemed almost pleased by his actions.
"You two. I know you want to help him but do I really need to explain that you shouldn't help him catch pneumonia." She turned her acid glare to Nathan, "I told you no good would come from the three of them going off on their own. They can't stay out of trouble when world leaders are onboard, why would they just because he's sick?"
Nathan countered with an argument that they'd just wanted to let Lucas see Darwin, that Lucas hadn't been in nearly long enough to get sick and he even gotten some exercise without stressing his body too much. "And look, he's standing. He didn't look like that when I left him."
Kristin opened her mouth to respond, but Lucas cut her off, "Hi, yeah. 'He'? Is right here. Could you stop acting like I'm a four year old who got lost in the supermarket?"
"Lucas, I know you think you're well enough to go swimming but there's bacteria and other organisms in that water. If you're exposed to it for too long, you'll have another delay in your treatment so we can medicate you," Kristin told him. She clearly didn't care what he had to say, simply that he understood that she didn't want him swimming.
He started to whine, only to have her talk over him, "Fine, you want to be sick? Go ahead, get in. Come on then," she moved forward and the menacing stature wasn't something she had intended.
But Lucas' brain matched the tone, the posture, the words and he was curling up to protect himself before he realized he was doing it. Someone's hand was on his back and Kristin was crouched before him, clearly upset at what had happened. As if she hadn't realized that her anger could bring about one of his defenses.
"I'm sorry," He told her, uncurling enough that his back was to the glass. "I don't... I just..." He rubbed his face and scrunched his eyes to keep from crying; he was frustrated and scared. "I'm so sorry."
Kristin shook her head, "No, sweetheart. It's not your fault, okay? I shouldn't have made you feel threatened." She touched his shoulder and when he didn't flinch, she took his hand in hers. They sat there in the silence for a few minutes while Ben and Miguel changed out of their suits. When both men returned, they helped to get Lucas back into his civvies and Kristin continued to be quiet.
"Come on, pal. I think we all could use a nap now. Lieutenant, please let Commander Ford know that I'm taking the rest of the day off and see to it that the bridge repairs are completed," Nathan told Ben as he helped Lucas to his feet and then settled him back into the wheelchair.
He started to push Lucas out of the room, but stopped suddenly and turned. Kristin was still sitting on the floor, looking dazedly at the place were Lucas had been; Nathan patted Lucas' shoulder and went to her, whispering things the boy couldn't hear until Kristin got to her feet. She dabbed her eyes with the end of her sleeve and Lucas felt even more guilt flood him, his cheeks warmed as they reddened.
Lucas attempted to apologize again when Nathan returned to him with Kristin in tow, but Kristin waved it off with a hand and Lucas looked at his feet instead. She took his hand just before they made it to Nathan's quarters, something which surprised him but confused him as well.
Once safely inside the Captain's quarters, Lucas allowed Nathan to help him onto the bunk and remained silent even when Kristin started to talk. She was upset that she'd triggered such a response from him and she went on for a good ten minutes about it before Lucas finally stopped her.
"It's alright, really. I didn't even know I was doing it," he shrugged. "It's just something I do and it's not because I'm scared of you or anything like that."
Kristin sighed, "I didn't think so, but I still feel badly at it, Lucas." She admitted a few seconds later that it made her angry as well, that his reaction had made her want to throttle the Wolenczaks for what they had done.
"Don't be," He told her and pushed himself back, lying on the bed. He closed his eyes and hoped she'd let him be; she did, but Lucas knew it was on a reprieve – Kristin was going to push the issue and probably try to convince him to go into therapy.
He made a face. Therapy, right. He'd been in therapy twice, both times at Stanford and both times his father had shown up. Lucas didn't trust such people; they held nothing in confidence and even if the outcome wouldn't be the same as back then, he didn't want to push it with the Captain. Nathan was the first person he'd met in his life who'd believed him without doubt and Lucas feared what would happen should he admit to a therapist things he couldn't share with anyone, not even Ben.
Nathan pulled a blanket over him. "Night, kiddo," he whispered and then there was the noise of people shuffling about, the scrape of chairs against metal, and the murmurs of a conversation as he fell asleep.