(A/N: Alrighty Folks, I'm so terribly sorry for the wait, I've had this done for a week, I just somepletely forgotabout it until I got a favourite story alert for this one! Beat me to a pulp, I'd definitely deserve it. its even loooooooong so it kinda makes up for the wait, something like 4500 words. and I really dont know where to take this story form here so I'd appreciate some feedback and any ideas on what to do with it or if I should wrap it up. lemme know kiddies! Next chapter will be out as soon as I figure out where this is gogin, no later than two week! Happy Halloween everybody!)
As Dudley searched his room for some of his wizard's chocolate, he found he had very little left. 'Ahh well, it's for a good cause. And maybe I can convince Harry to get me more if I give him money. Who ever started Honeyduke's was a bloody genius!' Dudley thought as he pulled the last two slabs out of his duffel bag. He could practically hear his stomach telling him not to part with the magical chocolate but his head and heart were definitely louder.
As he made his way down to the basement he started to get a little bit nervous. Since he had arrived Harry had barely been able to hold a conversation with him, though not for lack of trying. The past 24 hours had been full of awkward moments where neither knew what to say or do. The weather and Manchester United's place in the league had been under much fragmented discussion, but even before he knew he was a wizard, Harry had never had much love for the game of foot ball; he was too small to be any match against the other boys, and Dudley would have rather gotten the stomach flu than let him play.
He walked in and immediately began searching for Harry. He was relieved to find him alone, but he was eyeing one of the Weasleys, the only daughter. She was gorgeous, and was sitting on a couch swirling her drink as she pointedly stared at the floor. He walked up to Harry and tapped him shoulder, almost losing his nerve when Harry nearly jumped out of his skin.
"Blimey, Dudley! Don't sneak up on me like that!" He said exasperatedly, looking back at the girl. "What can I do for you, Big D?" he added, turning to face him once again. Dudley could feel his courage slowly melting away, and quickly thrust the chocolate into his hands, mumbling incoherently.
"What did you say? And what's with the chocolate? Hey this is wizard's chocolate, where'd you get that? I thought Honeyduke's was raided?" he said, thoroughly confused. Neither of them had noticed that the room had quieted considerably, and most of the occupants were looking at them. Dudley took a deep breath whilst contemplating on how to explain his sentiments and then began to speak.
"I remember when we got attacked by those Dementor things a couple summers ago. Afterwards I felt horrible, like I could never be happy. All I could think about was how much I hated things, and how the world was such a horrible place and that I'd never be happy again. Then you gave me that chocolate, and it was like being born again. I figure that's probably how you're feeling now. Like you'll never be happy cause you lost all those people and how horrible your life has been. So I thought maybe wizard's chocolate was magicked to make you feel better, and it was worth a try. That's the last of what Dedulas bought me when we were in hiding. " He finished, with a weak smile. Harry's face showed a mixture of astonishment, happiness and some ill-disguised laughter. Dudley could feel his cheeks turning red and just as he was about to turn and run out of the room Harry grinned even wider.
"That's some serious logic, Dudley, and really nice of you. I think that's a combination of Honeyduke's chocolate and a few bottles of Ogden's finest ought to cheer us all up a bit." He put the chocolate on the table and pointed his wand at it, muttering something under his breath. Dudley's jaw dropped as the chocolate grew, and grew until it was about three feet long, two feet wide and several inches thick. The he waved his wand lazily and a dozen bottles zoomed from all directions and settled them on the table next top the chocolate. He kept talking and waving his wand at the bottles, and seemed satisfied after they developed a faint gold aura.
"It's Firewhiskey, it's excellent. Now they'll refill themselves when you empty them." He said, noticing the look of confusion on Dudley's face. "Alright everyone grab a glass and some Firewhiskey, and make sure you grab some chocolate! We all miss Honeyduke's dearly, and this is probably the last of their chocolate we'll have for a long time." He said, conjuring a large glass then filling it with the drink and handing it to Dudley. After he got his own glass he took a large swing and laughed. Dudley sniffed it and took a large gulp. It burned and he almost choked on it. He never drank much hard liquor, at all the parties he'd been to he'd only ever drank beer.
Everyone around him began laughing and drinking and dancing. The mood of the room had lightened immensely; no one was crying anymore, and everyone seemed to be remembering the good times. Fred and George were telling jokes to some younger people as Harry's Godfather and Remus Lupin seemed to be talking animatedly to an older woman and a very short man, who were introduced to Dudley as more of Harry's teachers, Minerva McGonagall and Filius Flitwick.
"Thanks, Dudley. I think everyone needed that. I know I sure did. A few more of these and I might be able to win back the love of my life." He said in a light voice, nodding at the redhead from earlier. "Some liquid confidence is exactly what I need. And if that doesn't work, I bloody well don't know what will. So how do you like my house so far?"
"It's brilliant. Mum and Dad are absolutely terrified of it. They said that your elf ran at them with a frying pan for 'no apparent reason'. I heard what they were saying though, 'This lot, not a normal person among them. A bunch of ruddy nutters! And that demon child, he had blue hair this morning! Now it's red! Petunia, we're best not to associate with them any more than necessary.' 'Oh yes Vernon, evil freaks they are. And I still can't get the picture off of the wall. Probably used his abnormality to make sure that all the people in the pictures could come in to yell at us in the middle of the bloody night! I knew that Potter was trouble when I my sister brought him home, now his son is just as corrupted!'" Dudley said, mocking his parents. That had done it for it; he had lost every ounce of respect he had for them, and his flimsy belief— that they were just afraid of what they didn't understand— was crushed. Once they got back home, he was planning on moving out.
'Harry took us into his home, out of the ACTUAL goodness of his ACTUAL heart, and is letting us stay here until the house is ready, and he had those people protect us for an entire year, free of charge and all mum and dad can do is bloody well complain. Well I'm sick and tired of it.' He thought bitterly.
"Would it be too much to ask to turn them both into Hamsters until we get home? I think it would be easier got everyone. They're driving me bloody well insane. They're so ungrateful for everything you've done for us!" He said in an exasperated voice. Harry downed his third large Firewhiskey and grinned.
"That could definitely be arranged. That's the morale booster we all need! I think I'll make a spectacle of this." He said, with a mischievous look in his eyes. "Sonorus. Can I please have everyone's attention?" he said, in a magically magnified voice "Will Vernon and Petunia Dursley please come to here!" He said, and watched as they slowly came from the corner they were sitting in, with terrified looks on their faces. Harry looked at them with an evil glint in his eyes and a look of disgust on his face.
"Kreacher told me he over heard a rather interesting conversation that you two were having. Something about us being a ruddy bunch of nutters, my godson being a demon child because of his hair color, more about us being evil freaks and how I've made sure you can't get the picture off the wall so that people can go in and yell at you in the middle of the night? And then something about my father being nothing but trouble, and me being exactly alike?" He said, having little success in hiding the smirk on his face. "I must say, I thought you'd understood when I told you to act appropriately. And I know Hestia told you to act nicely. I know your stupid, but I recall you being able to act civilly, or can you only pull that off for normal people? Well I think we've found a nice solution. Rodencilius!"
Dudley blinked and looked down, and to his amusement, he saw his parents scurried around on the floor as extremely ugly hamsters. The entire room roared with laugher, many people doubling over with tears streaming down their faces. Dudley looked over and saw the portrait over the mantel place had been filled with (presumably) Harry's Parents and who seemed to find it wholly amusing. His mother was laughing and pointing, and his father seemed to be screaming something unintelligible over crowd. Even the greasy haired, hook nosed man was laughing his head off, and it looked strangely unnatural. After about five minutes, everyone was wiping there eyes, and some one conjured a cage for them, and made it float in the middle of the room.
"Harry James Potter! Did you just turn my sister and her husband into Hamsters?" Said a shrill voice that made Harry and everyone else in the room freeze, some smiling because they saw her reaction, others with wide eyes because they thought Harry was going to get told off. He quickly whirled around to face his mother's portrait and put a shy smile on his face.
"I might have, but I've been drinking and can't be held accountable for my actions. Besides, the stupid prats deserved it. They've managed to insult every person I've ever been close to." He said in defiance, with a trace of fear in his voice. His mother looked fierce when she broke into a smile and began to laugh again.
"I thought it was brilliant! I've wanted to do that for years! How do you like magic now, Tuney?" She asked, looking at the smaller of the two hamsters. Everyone began to laugh again and a Weasley came out of the crowd to talk to Harry.
"Harry, mate," said the twin that was still alive. "That was possibly the most brilliant thing I have ever seen, and I was raised with Fred! What made you do it?" he asked, wiping the tears that were streaming down his face from laughing so hard.
"Dudley asked me to. But I've wanted to do something like that to them for years, George. I think this will teach them a lesson in courtesy towards wizards." He said with a grin on his face as many people came up to smack him on the back and tell him how brilliant he was.
"Harry, I know you hated your muggle relatives but do you realize that you just broke one of the biggest wizarding laws in front of god knows how many Aurors? Do you have any idea of how much trouble you could be in right now?" asked an exasperated Hermione. Harry laughed, as did several other people.
"'Mione, I know that normally the ministry would throw me in Azkaban for something like this, but I'm the bloody Chosen One. They can cut me some slack after the hell they put me through the past few years. Besides, do you think Minister Shacklebolt would throw me in jail for this? He's met the Dursleys, he'd probably wholeheartedly agree. I'm Harry Bloody Potter, I can do no wrong, remember? That is I can do no wrong unless they say so in which case everything I do is wrong and I'm an attention seeking prat who's lost his gob stones. Right now I'm betting on the former, since as Peeves put it 'Voldie's gone Moldy and Wee Potter's the One!'" He said laughing. That seemed to quiet anyone's fears of him getting into trouble. Dudley was scared when they'd said he could go to jail for turning his parents into Hamsters but relaxed when he heard Harry's logic.
Harry poured himself another tall glass of Firewhiskey as he started to look for the redhead girl again. He was distracted by Ron walking up to him and telling him a joke about a troll, a hag, and a banshee and asking him what they all had in common with some person named Umbridge. Harry, George, and Hermione along with a few bystanders found extremely funny. Ron grabbed the Firewhiskey and topped him and Harry's glasses up while toasting 'The old bag's early death' and downing their drinks.
"I'd like to know how she got away form the centaurs, myself. If I remember correctly, they were bloody furious with her! I thought Bane was going to kill her! Too bad he didn't. Muggleborn Registration Committee my arse." Hermione said, sipping her own drink. Harry slammed an empty glass down on the table and looked up with a huge smile on his very flushed face.
"Well, I'm right pissed. I'm going to get my Ginny back. Wish me luck!" said Harry, with a slight slur to his words as he wobbled off into the crowd. Ron made to stop him but was held by Hermione and George.
"It's what they both want, Ickle Ronnikins. You've got your Hermione and Harry wants his Ginny back. Let him have her." Said George as Hermione and Ron blushed furiously and looked away from each other.
"He did mention something about the Firewhiskey being 'liquid confidence' earlier." Said Dudley with a smile. He looked around, trying to see if Harry had found 'His Ginny'.
Harry was looking around for a few minutes until he saw her, standing in the middle of the room with one of her brothers who seemed oblivious to the fact that she wasn't listening to a word he was saying. She had a sad, vacant look on her face, as she stared at the wall. Harry was making his way over to her with a determined look on his face, but she didn't seem to notice him until he had one hand around her waist, and on the back of her had and was pulling her into a kiss. She dropped her drink and the room fell silent as she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back with obvious enthusiasm. Everyone stared for about tens seconds before Fred, James, and Sirius' portraits started yelling and wolf whistling.
"That's m'boy! All Potters fall for redheads! I've been saying that for years!" Cried James with glee.
"That's my god son! Got himself a pretty girl!" Sirius was yelling as he laughed at the young couple.
"Oi! Harry, that's enough, get off my sister! You'll be getting a Weasley Talk, you will!" Said Fred, as he laughed. Harry and Ginny seemed to realize that everyone was watching them and broke apart with identical embarrassed grins on their faces, and he held her hand. Hermione was beaming, and surprisingly all of the Weasleys seemed happy for them. Harry's own parents seemed proud of him, especially his father, who was still shouting something about all Potter men falling for redheads.
Everyone seemed to go back to their own conversations and no one but Dudley seemed to notice Harry and Ginny slipping out of the room with mischievous looks on their faces. 'Harry James Potter, I never thought you were a ladies man.' Dudley thought happily as he turned to start talking to his neighbor, Mrs. Figg.
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Breakfast was a much more subdued affair than usual, due to the massive hangovers many people were nursing. The house was beyond full, as many guests had had a bit too much to drink and between Hermione and Mrs. Weasely, they had been forced to stay the night in one of the houses many guest rooms.
"You should never, ever, ever apparate after drinking. It's all about deliberation, destination and determination! No one can concentrate on all that when they're pissed! This is how people splinch themselves! When you're sober it's bloody difficult enough!" Hermione was saying to everyone who grumbled about being forced to stay over against their will.
Mrs. Weasley was busy over a cauldron making a massive batch of hangover cure that couldn't come fast enough. They decided on not waking anymore guests until it was ready, because the ones who up were in considerable agony.
"Mum, add a bit of ginger root, and some pickled newt's eyes. They get rid of the dizziness faster than anything I've ever tried. And some grated pepper root. It's the active ingredient in Pepper Up Potion, gives it a milder version of the energy burst." George was saying. He was right as rain, and Dudley suspected he had a secret stash of that particular potion. 'It'd be nice if he would share, the git.'
"And why would you be needing a hangover potion in the first place, young man?" she said sharply, glaring at him briefly while adding his prescribed ingredients.
"Relax mum, I'm not some alcoholic. They drink alone, I've got Fred's portrait in my room to keep me company!" He said laughing, stopping when she looked up in alarm. "I'm kidding mum, don't worry. Fred and I had developed this kind of liquor that made you sing everything that you were feeling. Like if you were feeling like you were in love, you'd probably sing something like 'Cauldron Full of Strong, Hot Love by Christina Warbeck'. It lasts about an hour per shot, or until you go to sleep, but the hangover was horrible. Regular remedies just didn't seem to cut it so we, of course, developed our own. Works like a charm." He said, breathing easier now that he didn't have to feel his mother's wrath.
"You had better not be selling that to school children. If I find out—"
"Relax, mum. I've struck a deal with McGonagall. She has Filch lift the blanket ban on all Weasley's creations, and in turn she rates all of our products herself, deciding which ones we should be allowed to sell to Hogwarts kids and which ones we can't. There are already a few exceptions, like Skiving Snackboxes and Patented DayDream Charms, because no teacher will ever approve of those, but they are huge sellers. So I'll put a notice saying that Hogwarts 'does not condone their use'. Then the stuff she actually doesn't want to see in Hogwarts will most likely not make it there, because I will keep my word, and the stuff that's harmless, or close enough to it can get by Filch. Her and Flitwick are helping me develop some sort of charm we can put on the Owl Order form, so that we can make sure they just don't try to get it owled to them if they can't get it in the shop. We want it to be something like you touch your wand to it and then if you are of age, then it will allow you to order the stuff, and if not, then it'll burn up in your hand. She was actually quite proud last night though, said no other joke company had ever had a blanket ban, even with Filch as the caretaker."
"Well I am very pleased to see you are starting to see things from a more mature point of view. That was a wonderful idea, striking a deal with you. Minerva always has been—"
"Actually that was my idea." He said, annyed at her assumption. "It's bad for business if our biggest age group isn't allowed to have our stuff at school. Parents are getting reluctant in buying their kids Weasley products because they assume if it's banned at Hogwarts, then it must be dangerous. And it's not doing McGonagall any good either if most of them are just sneaking in all of it, with absolutely no restrictions. She thought it was a great idea, and was trying to figure out a way to accommodate me. Said she saw some of the damage our products can cause if the user is so inclined and would rather that this school year be less eventful than the last few." George said with an evil glint in his eye. Everyone laughed and Ron started muttering something about 'bloody brilliant fire works'.
"Well I'm very proud of you! Alright you lot, get ready to go to St. Mungo's, your appointment is in two hours." She said, indicating Harry, Ron and Hermione.
"But mum, we don't need a check up! We're fine, cant you see that! We may not have eaten as much as we would have liked this year and got a few nasty cuts but we don't need a Healer's appointment. It's probably still full of war victims, they'll be sorting that out for weeks!" wailed Ron.
"Nonsense. You lot have scores of ailments. Malnutrition is at the top of that list. How you managed to survive a year without an all-you-can eat buffet is beyond me, Ronald Weasely. Hermione told me that you frequently had days in between meals! And I want to be sure that those dreadful Horcruxes didn't harm you in anyway. I also heard you splinched yourself after that stunt you pulled at the ministry! I want to make sure it's all healed up properly. Healer O'Dea is a busy woman, and we've made an appointment and you will be there or you will regret it." she spat.
"She's right Ron. I know we couldn't help it but we took horrible care of ourselves this year. Not eating or sleeping properly, not having our wounds healed, sleeping outside all winter, and the like. And we know the Horcrux affected us deeply when we were wearing it, so it might have altered our minds or something. It's better to be safe then sorry. And I have to go see if I have any nerve damage form my little torture session with Bellatrix. I'm still twitching and I get tremors all the time." Hermione said, clasping her hands in her lap, embarassed.
"And you never told us? I thought Fleur was just being cautious when she said to take you to St Mungo's! That's it, we're going. Harry grab Hermione's cloak." Ron said, glaring at Hermione.
"Don't look at me like that! You both know I couldn't have gone to St Mungo's; I was Undesirable No. 3 or something stupid like that. They knew I was with Harry and I had more important things to think bout then shaky hands. Fleur did the best she could." Hermione said forcefully. 'He's a tad bit over protective of her I think.' Dudley thought mildly. From his spot at the table he could see the tension building.
"Ron, calm down. She's right. What good would it have done us if we were all worried about our health all year? We never would have gotten this far. I'll grab our cloaks and we'll go. And stop being a bloody prat; she's going to St Mungo's now, that's all that matters. And keep your voice down, my head is aching." Harry said, rubbing his temples.
"Oh here Harry, dear! The potion is ready. Now I can trust you to make sure Ron get's checked out himself as well?" she said handing Harry a smoking glass filled with a watery yellow liquid, which he drank in two gulps. When steam started to pour out of his ears, Dudley jumped up in alarm.
"BLOODY HELL! Harry there's steam coming out of your ears!" He shouted. Harry grinning and shook his head experimentally; when he was pleased that the pain had gone he spoke.
"It's supposed to happen; there would have been much more if it was a Pepper Up Potion. Dudley, try to stay around some one you know while I'm gone. And don't let your parents out of their cage, they might try to chew something. Oh, and the snake-portrait, that guards the bathroom? It said you left something of yours in there. I assume it meant your wallet, but it said cow skin. It's behind the sink either way." Harry said, rising from the table.
"The snake speaks English? It only hisses at me." he said, curiously.
"I'm a Parseltongue, means I can talk to snakes. Remember your 11th birthday at the zoo? That was the first time I ever did. It's a really rare gift, I'm pretty sure I'm the only living person right now who can." He said chuckling.
"So you did make it attack me! I always knew it! Not that I can blame you though." He added cautiously, not wanting to be rude.
"No, I just said you were a bloody prat, and asked it how it liked life at the zoo. I never meant to vanish the glass either. But it worked out alright." He said, with a reminiscent smile on his face.
"Yeah, sure Harry. I believe you." Dudley said jokingly. It was turning out to be a pleasant morning, aside from the headache of his own he was nursing. He was afraid to take the potion they had cooked up, but seeing as no one else seemed worse for wear after ingesting it, he figured it couldn't be poisonous. With that thought, he took one of the many glasses of potion on the counter, and downed it. It didn't taste too good, but it spread a relief over his body so fast that had he not known better, he would have assumed that the hangover had never existed. He could feel the steam tickling his ears as it poured out, and felt more energized. 'I wish I was a wizard, life would be so much more interesting.' He thought happily, as he went to take a shower.