oooooooo Here's another new chapter. Review and enjoy!
It was almost 4 in the afternoon according to the clock. He'd been awake for nearly two
hours already, just watching Buffy, but Angel didn't care. Buffy was still sleeping, and there
was no way he was going to move and wake her up. She was the most beautiful thing in the
world when she was sleeping. It was a secret privilege just to watch her while she slept.
He didn't know when she'd be leaving, so he had no desire to wake her up. Who knew how
many more chances there would be to watch her in her most peaceful state.
He wanted to know why she had come to Ireland in the first place, what she wanted to tell
him. At first he thought that she had come to tell him that she was ready, that she wanted
to be with him again. But now, he had no idea. She was hot and cold with him. He didn't
blame her at all for that, after everything that had happened, she was entitled to whatever
mood she wanted to be in.
One minute it seemed like she wanted him, then the next, it was like he was the last thing
she wanted to see.
Part of him thought that she was secretly mad at him for not getting there in time to rescue
her from the vamps. She would never admit it. She would never admit that she wanted
someone to rescue her, but he knew how crazy her life was. She was always defending
everyone else and saving lives, it was almost like hers didn't matter. She was tougher than
anyone he knew, including himself, but she shouldn't always have to be the one to fight.
Someone should be defending her once in awhile. It killed him that he couldn't have done
that for her, that he couldn't have saved her from more pain... that he wasn't the one to
change her, to give her that small bit of mercy.
He remembered her saying that she wished it was him who changed her. He would never
forget those words for so many reasons. One of those reasons was because he had actually
thought about her as a vamp. He never made any plans to change her, it was just a fleeting
thought. He could never do that to her. As deadly as her job may have been, and as scared
as she was for her life sometimes, she treasured her humanity, even her mortality. He
would never take that away from her, not unless she was dying, and not unless she asked
him to. When he had thought about Buffy as a vampire, it had been more of an 'imagine
that' scenario. He was thinking about her, how he knew he'd love her forever, and a flash
just passed through his head. 'Imagine actually being able to be with her forever.' He had
quickly shoved that thought out of his mind, because the idea of her as a vampire was
wrong on so many levels, minus the possibility of eternity together, if that's what she
wanted. She deserved light, and picnics, and the least amount of restrictions on her life as
possible. She didn't deserve extra pain, and that it was being turned had brought her, a
whole new load of pain... He was going to help her however he could, no matter what her
decision about them was. Whatever she wanted is what he would give her. And whatever
she would give him, he would take gratefully. Anything from her was a gift. Holding her, like
he had been all night was a treasure to Angel. She was the sign from whatever powers that
ruled the world, that maybe he wasn't just lowly scum, that some part of him was good,
that he too deserved some kind of happiness in his life. She was everything. She was pretty
much the only thing that mattered to him now.
Man, nobody could make Angel feel like she did. All he wanted was her.
It was after five when Buffy finally woke up.
"Hi," she said, almost shyly.
"Hey," Angel smiled.
"Thanks for being my pillow. You're quite comfy," she said, almost nervously.
"No problem," he said.
"Holy crap. It's almost 5. I've been sleeping for ages. I know you haven't been asleep this
long. You should have woke me up," Buffy said.
"Not a chance," he told her.
Buffy gave him a small smile, getting out of the bed.
To Angel's surprise, she headed to the kitchen, and came back with two cups full of red
liquid.
Before she had fallen asleep the night before, she had resolved that she would try to drink what was brought from the butcher's.
She couldn't deny what had happened to her. She had to live with it, whether she liked the way she would now have to live, or not.
"Breakfast," Buffy mumbled uneasily. "Bottom's up," she said, passing a cup to Angel, and
trying to gulp hers down as quickly as possible.
"When does this stop feeling so weird, Angel?" Buffy asked him, wiping her mouth.
"I don't know. It still feels weird to me sometimes," he told her honestly.
"When will I be at full strength?" she asked after a minute.
"Give it another day, and you'll be ready to kick ass again. You're gonna be strong
Buffy, stronger than ever. Vamp strength and Slayer strength. Nobody is gonna want to
screw with you."
"I want to be the Slayer; I don't want that to change. I thought about it before I fell asleep,
I need to be the Slayer, I guess I could only do it at night. Be a part-time Slayer. Half, a
Slayer... But how do I do that? How do I train all the new Slayers? Would they even trust me,
respect me?"
"I don't know how anyone could not respect you... Listen to me, even if you can't be
training your girls or fighting whatever big bad there is during the day, that doesn't make
you half a Slayer. You can train the girls at night. You can patrol at night like you always
did. During the day, when you're not sleeping, you can still be doing good. There's always
research to be done, and other things like that. You're Slayer life is not over, Buffy, I
promise. If you still want to help, there's plenty of opportunity," Angel said, encouragingly.
"You make a girl believe, Angel. And right now, making me believe is a good start to getting
back to some kind of life."
"Glad to be of assistance," he grinned.
"Angel?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you ever think about starting up something like Angel Investigations, again?" Buffy
asked.
"Sometimes. But it's hard, you know. I used to have friends with me. The idea of doing it
alone, isn't as appealing."
"Yeah, I guess," Buffy replied. "You know, maybe-"
Before Buffy could finish her sentence Willow popped in the room.
"I come bearing clothes," she said, throwing a full bag at Buffy.
"Thank you," Buffy said.
"No problem," Willow replied.
"I guess I can change now," Buffy said, heading to the washroom.
Willow turned to Angel and grinned.
"What?" he asked.
"She seems better than yesterday, and so do you. She looks cute in your shirt by the way."
"If you're hinting at what I think you're hinting at, nothing happened... First of all, I don't
know what she wants, and second of all, did you forget about the curse, or curses, as it
would be now?" Angel said quietly.
Willow was being more serious now. "I was just teasing. But you know what, I don't think
you'd need to worry so much about that curse," she told him.
"Why? What do you know about the curse, has something changed?"
"No, it's still the same curse, but-"
Buffy came back from the washroom and handed Angel his shirt back. "Thanks for sharing,"
she said.
"Anytime."
"How are you?" Willow asked gently.
"I'll be okay, I promise," Buffy said. "I'm getting there, slowly. Anyway, do not worry about me. Go get back to doing whatever you were doing."
"I've been helping Oz, and I told him I'd be back," Willow said with a smile.
"I bet he's happy to be seeing so much of you lately," Buffy grinned.
"What's that grin for?" Willow asked with a grin of her own.
"Oh nothing," Buffy said innocently. "You two are just adorable. You need to get back with
that boy. I know a lot's happened, but you know he still loves you. And I know that you
never stopped loving him. A part of you always did."
"Oh Buffy. You and I are really good at giving advice, but not so good at taking it," Willow
replied.
"Okay, Okay," Buffy said, backing down, not wanting to get into a discussion about her and
love right now.
"You know who I do love Buffy?"
"Who?" Buffy asked dramatically.
"You," Willow laughed.
"And I, you, darling," Buffy said, blowing her a kiss.
"Bye guys," Willow laughed, popping out of the house, just as quickly as she popped in.
"Were you going to say something before Willow got here?" Angel asked her.
"Never mind that now. It's fine," Buffy said, losing her nerve.
There were so many things she wanted to say to Angel, one of them was about them
possibly working together, another one was typical Buffy and Angel stuff, but she kept
losing whatever nerve she managed to build up.
'Tomorrow,' she thought to herself. 'Tomorrow maybe I'll find my guts and use them.
Tomorrow I'll talk to him... Maybe.'