A/N: Fastest chapter I put up in succession for a while. Kudos for me.

WARNING: Rated for swearing. Bad swearing.

Step 1: Flirting is the Start Point!

"Ta-da! See? I've made a lesson plan for the process of a ten day program; with ten lessons covering all there is to know about being a good boyfriend!" Jou waved a fine-ruled notebook in front of Kaiba's face, baring in hiragana, (and with very few kanji, Kaiba had observed. He wholly agreed that Jou learned nothing in grammar school), the grand title written in permanent marker: "Jou's Guide to Becoming the Perfect Boyfriend". Not to mention, a crude chibi picture of Kaiba begging to a very huge Jou chibi who had stars all around him.

Kaiba rolled his eyes and hit the notebook on top of Jou's head none to gently. "I think you've got the picture wrong, mutt. You bow down to me."

"Tch, whatever to that, Mr. I-Have-A-Stick-Up-My-Butt," Jou recovered from the blow to rub his head. "I think I'm going to teach you some good manners for my first lesson."

The CEO 'tch'ed back at him and leaned back against the sofa. They were situated in Kaiba's private rooms where they could fulfill his education in secret. He didn't have to worry about Mokuba charging in at every interval either, for he was blissfully away at summer camp.

The room was comprised of a nice living room type grandeur, with soft sofas and chairs that could help an insomniac get some good rest. Jou sat on the floor opposite of Kaiba, where he was busy scribbling something inside. Kaiba guessed the table of contents because he kept muttering strange catchphrases under his breath.

"Are you done yet?" Kaiba huffed darkly. "I'm paying you by the hour and I expect the highest potential you have as my employee."

Jou rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't bother trying to snuff me out with that CEO nonsense. I know who you really are."

The dark haired duelist's glare subsided to be replaced with a hue of annoyance. Apparently, he couldn't get Jou to work through fear like everyone else and that unnerved him.

"Alright Kaiba. I'm done and right now were going straight to Step one!" Jou opened his book to show a chibi Kaiba posing as if singing an opera with little musical notes flying from his mouth. "'Flirting is the Start Point'!"

"Flirting?" Kaiba narrowed his eyes as he repeated the phrase as if it tasted wrong. "I don't flirt."

"Yeah, well tough," Jou grinned evilly. "Flirting is the bait to snagging someone into a relationship and guess what, Kaiba-boy? Miss Heiress has been surrounded by flirting her whole life, no doubt. And you're going to need a remedial course."

Kaiba turned his nose up at the word, 'Remedial'. "Just get the damn lesson started."

As soon as those words left his mouth, Jou had situated himself into leaning forward on the shocked CEO, their foreheads touching.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Kaiba snarled, though he didn't bother pushing Jou away.

"You've got the deepest eyes I have ever seen, Seto," Jou whispered and Kaiba felt those hazel eyes mirroring his own and for once in his life, he had no comeback. "I could..."

Kaiba felt his chest restricting, for it was a feeling of closeness. He never had anyone invade his personal space before alive and it felt as alien as the desperate touching of the foreheads.

"...drown a beautiful death in those eyes of ice."

The CEO's body enjoyed it, but his mind was screaming like an alarm at the closeness. It was too close. He was suffocating...

"Stop it, Jou. What are you, some kind of fucking poet?"

Jou blinked and withdrew, the gravity of the situation lifting and the magic disappearing at once. "Hmm, too much for you, Kaiba? I guess I did do a little advanced flirting with you..." The blond scratched his head. "I forgot you're a little sensitive about personal space."

Once Kaiba got his bearings, he snarled angrily. "I'm not a fucking china doll."

"Hey!" Jou's expression became stern and he poked Kaiba in the chest with indignation. "I'm helping you out here! It's a two-way street, Kaiba. You've got to do your share and I do mines, but you won't learn about that until later lessons. So, focus on your flirting!"

Kaiba blinked. That little snuggle-fest was a lesson?! "Warn me next time, mutt!"

"Constant vigilance!" Jou chirped benignly as he thumped next to the elder man, turning to him casually. "Okay, here's the beginning topics to flirting! You've got to start with the physical aspects of that person. The eyes (a big girl-catcher), hair (great for long-haired people), smile (even if she's got the smile of Quasimodo), and hands (especially if you shook her hand first)."

Kaiba valiantly took in everything Jou said, making mental notes to himself.

"Here's a big no-no!" Jou continued by the wag of the finger. "Never compliment her body, because she'll think you're some pervert who's only interested in her good looks. She'll make you out like an ape and give you the cold shoulder. Also, you're the type to point out weaknesses in a person. DON'T DO THAT. Compliments, compliments, compliments! Now..." Jou seated himself more upright. "We're going to practice."

"Right now?" Kaiba raised his eyebrow worriedly.

Jou nodded. "Yep. Compliment me on the eyes, hair, smile and hands. That's an ice breaker. And you'll know you're doing something wrong when I get royally pissed."

The brunet sat back to look more broadly at Jou and he snorted. "How the hell do I complement another guy?"

"Imagine me as the Heiress or something," Jou grinned, seemingly oblivious to Kaiba's apparent frustration. "Ready?"

"Yeah." He really wasn't, by the way.

Jou then proceeded to lift his hand to greet Kaiba. "Hi, Mr. Seto Kaiba. I'm the Heiress going to decide whether you're the perfect boyfriend for me."

Kaiba huffed in agitation. "You're mocking me, you stupid dog."

Big mistake. Jou's smile disappeared and was replaced with a crushed look. Kaiba wondered if it was the acting or really the blond.

"Why did you call me a dog, Mr. Kaiba?" Jou whined sweetly. "Am I not that up to your standards of a perfect girlfriend...?"

Realizing that they were still acting, Kaiba cleared his throat. "S-sorry. I'm still stressed out...from work." Seeing that Jou's expression improved very little, he added, "I don't think you look like a dog. You're..." Kaiba looked away in utter embarrassment. He was talking to the mutt for crying out loud! "...very beautiful." He muttered the last.

It must've worked because Jou gave a huge smile. "You think I'm beautiful?"

Sighing, he looked at Jou and deduced that he did look appealing on a grander scale. "I...like you're blond hair," Kaiba admitted grudgingly focusing somewhere other than Jou's beaming face. "It looks soft to the touch."

The smile broadened even more and Jou dropped his head down. "I don't think it's that soft, but you're welcome to see for yourself."

Kaiba stiffened. Did he actually want him to stroke his hair?!

Awkwardly, he reached a hand and only touched a few strands. They really were soft to the touch.

Jou straightened back up, his smile still apparent. Kaiba decided to go for the next subject.

"Your smile seems to light up this room." It was no lie. Jou's smile was brighter than the lit lamps in the room. Kaiba reluctantly admitted to himself that it was a very beautiful smile.

"That's so sweet!" Jou chirped as perky as he can. "Everyone's been saying how cold you are to everyone, but I can see that they don't know anything!"

This made Kaiba heat up all over. It felt like it was him and Jou talking, not him and the Heiress. But he was assumed that it was only nerves.

"Maybe because they don't see through your eyes," Kaiba said truthfully. "I can tell that that amber hue sheds the truth on everything you see."

Jou blinked. "Damn, Kaiba. You learn fast!"

"What did you expect? I'm Seto Kaiba!" Kaiba hissed and turned away. He couldn't believe that he said those things! And to the mutt! It was utterly embarrassing.

Jou noticed Kaiba's evident embarrassment and grinned. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about, Kaiba. Everyone's gotta flirt to start relationships. You're just afraid that you'll lose your cold persona, but it won't happen. It's embedded into you. You can be romantic to the one you love in private and be cold to everyone else. It's not like you're required to flirt with everyone or something."

That was the truth. He was afraid of losing the mask he was so comfortable in. The mask that the world knew him of. The mask that would never come off. Seto Kaiba's mask.

"What's your mask?" Kaiba whispered darkly to Jou.

The blond's eyes bore into him and the CEO wished he never brought it up. "What do you think?"

They were met with silence until Jou broke it with a clearing of his throat. "Anyways, I'll give you a C+ for that practice session."

"You're the worst teacher ever," Kaiba's eyebrow ticked at being given an average grade. "You don't give grades during a practice run."

"Do you want me to drop it down to a C?" Jou threatened lightly. "For insubordination?"

"Big vocab, Einstein," Kaiba relaxed under the little banter that was procuring between them. He felt comfortable knowing that he could still insult without forethought.

Jou ignored him and proceeded to write in his book of Kaiba's progress. In actuality, he gave Kaiba a solid B, but he'd never admit it. It would have been an A if Kaiba didn't call him a dog on the first run, because that was a huge deductable. "Alright, Kaiba. Let's try again. This time, it's a test. Remember to always compliment. No insults!"

The blond jumped when Kaiba leaned toward him unexpectedly, quite possibly for revenge from what he mirrored previously.

"Puppy," Kaiba droned heavily, a smirk playing on his features. "Are you shaking? It's adorable."

Jou wanted to smack the notebook onto Kaiba's smug face, but decided otherwise. This was a test after all. "Of course I'm shaking, Seto," He whispered softly, unnerving Kaiba for a moment as he leaned closer to contradict him. "The force of your commanding nature is making me scramble from going over the edge."

That was when Kaiba felt something weird going on with his body, but he ignored it. "Maybe you're just cold. Why don't I keep you warm tonight? I'll make sure you're very comfortable."

"Easy, Kaiba..." Jou warned with a little smirk, his cheeks a little flushed. "It's not the second date yet."

Kaiba visually ignored it, but kept that in his memory bank as he continued. "You should keep your hair down. I like it when it barely touches your shoulders."

Jou blinked. No one's said that before. Anzu kept chiding over chopping it off and Honda asking if he was trying to pull off Otogi's look to which he earned a good punch in the nose. Resolved, he took out the pleat and his hair fell to his shoulders.

Kaiba ran a subconscious approving eye over it. "You look like the Archangel Gabriel from a European painting."

"Thanks," For the first time in the room, Jou turned bright red with embarrassment. "...but what's an Archangel...?"

Then, as if like magic, Kaiba laughed. And it wasn't those insane laughs he usually made, it was those genuine article ones. The one where it's so charming you'd laugh with him too.

There it was. There was that one thing Jou was looking for all throughout the lesson. "Test is over." He withdrew to start doodling in his notebook, a chibi Kaiba laughing with an A+ on the top of his head.

"What'd I get?" Kaiba tried to look over Jou's shoulder but was met with the slamming closed of the notebook.

"Can't tell you that," The blond smirked slyly. "That's against the rules."

Kaiba gave him a snobbish look. "Screw the rules, I have money."

"Arrogant prick. You passed, that's all you need to know," Jou answered with a grin. "Try it on Heiress Freya tomorrow and we'll really see how well you did."

It was almost ten at night when Jou felt that they've finished Step 1 and Kaiba felt a little confident that he'd do just fine with the Heiress. Kaiba escorted Jou, to the blond's surprise, to one of the grandeur rooms of his mansion.

"Oi, Kaiba. You could just take me home and I'll come back tomorrow," Jou protested and was met with a curious look from the brunet.

"I'm not taking any chances. It's best that I go to you at any interval with help with this relationship business than worry about where to find you. Here's your pay." Kaiba dropped a check into Jou's hand and the blond was floored.

"T-three hundred and f-fifty t-t-th-thousand yen?!!!" Jou sputtered as he reread the check over about twenty times. "For the whole session?!"

Kaiba gave him a look that said, 'Are you nuts?'. "Everyday. That's the deal."

"I said three hundred and fifty yen an hour!" Jou corrected incredulously. "This is like, times a thousand! This is a treasure trove!"

The CEO 'hmph'ed pleasantly. "Only for peasants, servant. I'm well rich enough to pay anyone handsomely." Still, it was still...kind...of the mutt to be a little bit modest. At least he wasn't trying to milk him for everything he's got on purpose.

Jou gave him a dissatisfied look, but said nothing more. He opened the door to his room defeatedly and walked in, not surprised that it was as grandeur as the rest of the mansion.

"Good boy," Kaiba grinned evilly. "Keep it up and you'll get a treat."

Kaiba then shut the door as he laughed, hearing a resounding thunk of a shoe on the other side.

TBC

A/N: Yoo-hoo. I guess...

For every review will be the number of times Seto Kaiba gets sexually frustrated over a certain mutt in the next chapter. Seriously.