Chapter Five: The Wedding
As the wedding grew ever nearer, Derian's doubts grew ever higher. What had he gotten himself into? He was to marry Firekeeper – no matter how docile she might seem at the moment, she was a wild creature at heart. What if after they were married, she grew tired of him and wanted to leave him for the wilds? Derian didn't want even the slightest chance of possible heartbreak and dishonor. Better to pull out now then later.
However, Firekeeper seemed to have no such doubts. As the days counting down to their wedding flew by, she grew more and more ecstatic. She turned out to be an avid wedding planner, and so ended up that Derian had almost no say.
They – or rather, Firekeeper – had decided on an outside wedding on the Norwood Grant, at which her adoptive father had allowed the ceremony to be held.
One evening, when they were taking a stroll alone through the deserted streets of Eagle's Nest, Derian voiced the things that had troubled his mind for over a week. "Firekeeper," he began hesitatingly, letting go of her hand.
Appearing puzzled, she moved to be face to face with him. "What is it?"
He sighed, twiddling his thumbs nervously. "Us."
"What's wrong with us?" she wanted to know. "We're meant for each other and that's all that matters. We're going to be married in a few weeks, and then we'll be mates for life."
The word 'mates' made Derian's heart skid to a halt. It was such a wolf-word. That one word instilled with him a fear that the woman he loved would truly return to her wolf pack for good, never to look back at his face again.
"It's…it's just…" he swallowed, trying to force the words out.
Firekeeper's look of concern stung him. He was a bumbling idiot for even starting this stupid conversation!
"Never mind," he said softly, looking away.
"No." Firekeeper reached up to grab his cheeks and pulled his face to look at her once more. "Tell me what you want to say."
Before he could think about it, Derian blurted, "I think I'm having doubts."
"What?" She looked hurt.
He nodded. "I hate having doubts, but I'm afraid that once we're married, you won't love me anymore and you'll just leave me and go back to live the wolves."
"That's bull----" she said firmly.
He laughed weakly.
"Derian," Firekeeper said, her voice soft, "I love you. And I'll admit, when I'm alone, I have doubts too. But then I look at you, and see that there is nothing to doubt. Everything I ever wanted is standing here, right in front of me and that will never change. I swear."
"You promise?" he asked, feeling the fool for actually having to hear the answer.
"I do," she whispered, and kissed him.
The biggest stress of the upcoming wedding for Firekeeper was the dress. Still she enjoyed the freedom men's clothing offered, and only wore simple dresses at Derian's request. However, the ones offered for her approval by Vernita were awfully elegant. As she impatiently tried on dress after dress, she found herself hating every single one. Wouldn't it be easier just to get married naked? She wondered.
Vernita sensed her displeasure, and gave up attempting to convince Firekeeper to wear one of the offered dresses. "We'll just make you one from scratch!" she said brightly. Unfortunately, Firekeeper was not allowed to see it until it was done, which would be only a few days before the ceremony. She hoped she liked it, for Vernita's sake.
The dress was finally brought to Firekeeper for a final fitting three days before the wedding.
She and Derian had been relaxing on the couch in the Earl's study, chatting with him and Edlin when news arrived that Firekeeper's dress was ready for her viewing. Squeezing her fiancée's hand, she smiled at Earl Kestrel and Edlin, and ventured up to her quarters.
Vernita greeted her enthusiastically. "I hope you like the dress."
Firekeeper nodded in anticipation.
The older woman walked around the dressing screen to return with the dress. Firekeeper gasped in astonishment.
It was wonderful! The bodice of the dress was made of leather, with white ribbon laces running up it to make it appear fancier. There were no sleeves attached to the bodice – instead the bodice simply wrapped around her torso. The skirt part of the dress was a billowing blue fabric which would, from looking at it, allow her plenty of movement.
"Can I try it on?" Firekeeper asked, reaching out to touch the bodice.
Vernita laughed. "I knew you'd like it."
She stepped around the dressing screen – only to be respectful to her fiancée's mother – and tried on the dress. Coming back around, Firekeeper remarked, almost sadly, "I'm becoming such a girl."
"Is that a bad thing?" Vernita asked, embracing her.
"I just feel like I'm losing who I am. Me, the wolf."
The older woman gazed her in the eye. "You just need to remember your wolf side. I'm sure my son can help you with that."
Firekeeper smiled in return. "I'm sure he can…he did it once before."
"Now," Vernita said as the younger woman went behind the screen to redress, "make sure that you don't mention this dress to Derian."
"Why not?" she asked, tugging on her shirt as she came to face her fiancée's mother again.
"It's traditional for the groom not to view the bride in her gown before the marriage."
"Oh. I'll keep it a secret then."
Vernita winked. "My son won't be able to take his eyes off of you."
Firekeeper couldn't believe the wedding was merely in a few hours. Shortly, she would be forever wed to the love of her life. She was excited, but slightly afraid. What if Derian was right? What if once they were married, she didn't love him anymore and did leave him? What if she never looked back when she did leave? What if he left her? What if he wouldn't look back when he left her? What if –
She wanted to scream at herself, or pound her forehead into the most convenient wall. There was absolutely nothing wrong with their relationship! Nothing! But what if –
This time she pinched herself as hard as she could. The sharp twist of pain allowed her to think a little more clearly. Firekeeper had to talk to Derian.
Even though she knew it was forbidden for them to see each other before they were joined in matrimony, she snuck to his quarters anyway.
"Who is it?" he called when she knocked.
"It's me," she said softly. "Open the door."
Derian was silent, no footsteps moving towards the door. "You know I can't." he said after a while. "I'm not even supposed to talk with you before the wedding."
"It's important!"
"Then talk through the door, quickly."
Firekeeper sighed, pressing her cheek against the wood. "You need to promise me something, Derian."
"Anything."
"You need to be prepared to let me go sometime…"
His voice rose in protest, but she cut him off.
"I'm not finished. You need to be prepared to let me go sometime, but know that I will always come back to you. I wouldn't do anything unfaithful; I would just take my space. Derian, you know me better than any other human. You chose to love me, and accept me the way I am."
No words came from inside the room.
"I'll see you at the ceremony," she said, disappointed with the outcome of the discussion.
Vernita was in Firekeeper's room to help her prepare for the wedding. Once she had on the gown, her soon to be mother-in-law twisted her hair up into an elegant bun.
"Put these on," she said, handing the bride a pair of slippers.
Firekeeper gazed upon them and sighed. Slippers. She would wear boots with breeches, only because Derian forced them upon her. Whenever she wore long dresses, she often went barefoot underneath. However, slippers were a different matter. They were stiff, unforgiving.
"Just this once," she growled, to Vernita's amusement.
When Firekeeper stood, the older woman pulled the lacings tighter, as well as brushing out a few creases in the skirt.
"You look beautiful," she commented.
Firekeeper smiled.
Vernita guided her down the stairs to a side door that led out into the garden, then left with a few encouraging words. She peeked outside, and saw that everyone had taken their places: Derian at the alter in the center of an arc created by Brock, Vernita, and Colby at one end, and Earl Kestrel, Lady Stanbrook, Tait, and Edlin at the other.
A few giggles behind her told Firekeeper that Damita, Lillis, and Agneta were approaching. Elise followed along behind the three young girls, acting as the mature leader of the group. They were dressed alike in simple pink gowns made of the same material as Firekeeper's skirt.
She greeted them with a smile, but no words. She was too nervous too speak.
"How are you feeling?" Elise asked.
"Anxious," Firekeeper said, fidgeting a little.
Elise smiled. "I can tell." She handed the bride a basket with small items wrapped in blue fabric. "You forgot these."
She smiled at her friend as they five of them took their places. Firekeeper noticed that the four others carried small wooden boxes.
From outside came the signal to begin the wedding. Lillis and Agneta strode from the house into the garden, perfectly in step. Next came Elise and Damita. At the alter, Lillis and Agneta drifted to stand next to their brother, and Elise and Damita stood next to Brock.
Knowing all eyes would be on her, Firekeeper stepped into the garden. As heads swiveled to look at her, her heart beat faster. It was strange to find herself afraid. She didn't even look at any of the guests, for her eyes were entirely for Derian.
Derian wore fine black knee-breeches, a white tunic, a blue waistcoat, and a blue frockcoat. He smiled at her, his face awash in a rosy glow. When Firekeeper reached him, he took her hand, whispering, "You look gorgeous."
Colby stepped forward to deliver the traditional beginning words of the wedding. "We are here to begin a new family, a family of two that will, with blessing and fortune, someday be a much larger family."
Smiles and a little good-natured laughter broke out among the assembled guests, who were no doubt imagining tiny, wild wolf-children.
"From the time of those ancestors who are but names in our personal litanies," Colby continued, "we have celebrated the union of two individuals into one family by the filling of a pouch symbolizing our hopes and dreams for the newly married couple. This pouch is then the first thing placed in their family shrine. Someday, when the, too, join the march of ancestors, their pouch will be moved into their heir's family shrine, thus granting continuity."
He stepped back, so Derian could speak. "Dear Firekeeper, I ask you to accept the pouch I have prepared for this day." He held it up to show it to the guests. The pouch was made of a soft leather, imprinted with an image of a wolf.
Firekeeper extended her hand to join Derian's on the strap as tradition demanded. "I accept your gift," then softer, so only Derian could hear, "It's beautiful. Thank you."
Now it was time for the delivering of the gifts. Colby spoke while Vernita stepped forward. "My son, my daughter, Vernita and I wish offer you the hope of children, just as we have been blessed with children of our own." His wife dropped an ivory carving of an infant into the pouch. She kissed her son and his new wife before stepping back.
Earl Kestrel spoke, while Lady Stanbrook strode forward. "Daughter and son, our wish for you is understanding. Learn to listen and to love the other person for who they are, and be ready to love and let go." Lady Stanbrook placed a tiny carving of an ear and heart bound together in the pouch, then kissed the couple.
Because she was the next eldest of the attendants, Elise stepped forward to offer the gift of health, the same gift she had offered at Sapphire and Shad's wedding. After the ritual kiss, she stepped back to allow the Carter siblings to step forward. After the offering of wealth, Edlin came forward to bestow the gift of wisdom, and lastly his sisters gave happiness to the couple.
Now came the time for the bride and groom to offer each other their secret wishes. Fingers curled tightly around her trinket – for she had been told that no one should be able to see it – Firekeeper was about to speak the ritual words when a howl cut through the air.
Her head snapped around the gaze towards the source. Blind Seer?!
The guest started a quiet commotion. Firekeeper could hear them. "What is it?" they wanted to know.
From the trees, a wolf padded toward the alter. Someone shrieked, but many remained calm for they recognized the blue-eyed wolf.
"Blind Seer!" she cried, dropping to her knees to hug the wolf.
He licked her cheek. "I heard that you were being wed, sister. I had to come offer my wishes."
Blind Seer disentangled himself from her to lick Derian's hand in greeting, then picked up something that had fallen from his mouth.
"My wish for you, sister, and brother, is for your children to grow up with a foot in each world. You shall teach your child the way of the wolf, and Derian shall teach your child the way of the human. In this way, wolves and humans shall live in harmony once more."
He dropped his gift – a small fang with horse hair wrapped around it – into the pouch. Firekeeper stroked his head, then stood to speak the ritual words.
"Derian, I offer you my secret wish for our union. I give it to you because from this day forth whatever I do, I do as part of something new – a new creation called 'us.'" She slipped her trinket into the bag.
Derian spoke, and his voice cracked with honesty. His words were the same, and he too placed his secret into the pouch.
Firekeeper drew an item from her basket. "Now," she said, her voice firm, "dear Derian, we have received the good wishes of family and friends. With this needle and thread let me close the pouch so that these good wishes sustain us through a long and fruitful marriage."
Derian held the edges of the pouch together to Firekeeper could sew them shut. While she began to sew, he recited, "What we have here drawn together let no person, no force, no cause in all the world pull apart. Together we are sewn. Together we shall remain."
On these final words, she ended her stitching and tied off the thread.
When the thread snapped, the guests chanted together, "As these two so wish it, let it be so."
As Firekeeper embraced Derian, she felt tears fog up her eyes. They were bound together, forever.
A/N: You may recognize this scene (the wedding) as taken from Wolf's Head, Wolf's Heart. The wedding is credited to Jane Lindskold, and the only thing I changed were the characters and Blind Seer's addition. The wedding was not my creation.