M I S T A K E N
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or any of the characters.
Yay! Mistaken's featured on a C2 called Pawprinted. Cool! Anyway it snowed… I really didn't think it would, but it did. This means that I have no school today, but will be forced to attend Friday so I may finish my life-threatening English final… I'll try and update again today, and probably will, since I'm bored. Enjoy!
19) mine)
The night breeze blew the stench into my face. I took a breath, exhaling slowly. Beside me, Jacob pawed at the ground, unable to express his frustration beyond the occasional growl.
"They get closer…then dart back… They're just testing us – or trying to see how many the pack holds." I ran my fingers through Jacob's fur. We didn't want to speak to one another. Jacob had agreed that it would be better if I were human, since I still hurt and I was starting to threaten the pack members – all except Leah and Jacob – for over sympathizing.
Jacob pressed his wet nose into my palm; his dark eyes studied me.
"I don't hate you for wanting her," I sighed. "Whatever you think you did to make me angry, I forgive you." He must have thought I was still mad about the breakfast kidnapping. I'd been able to get the jelly stains out of my shirt, so he had nothing to worry about.
He whined. His wagging tail brushed against me. I frowned at him, fed up with his behavior. "You have to stop."
Jacob knocked me over as he nuzzled my neck. I pushed his face away, upset. Who did Jacob think he was? He couldn't win me over by acting like a puppy. He should have been able to realize that I wanted nothing to do with him at the moment. Stupid Jake. Stupid Sam for making me patrol with stupid Jake. Stupid me for inviting stupid Jake into the car.
I tilted my head up to look at the sky. It was a very dark blue. I had smelt storm clouds when Jacob and I had first come up here, so it was safe to assume that it would rain. Rain would be nice – it could clean the earth of the blood that would soon be spilt upon it.
"It's been four hours," I groaned, standing up. "I'm heading back."
We had come a long way, but I was determined to remain human for the entirety of the trek. Jacob voiced his concern for my feet every few miles, but I disregarded him. I almost bit through my tongue when my toe struck a rock. I expected Jacob's barking laughter, but my curses were met with silence.
What was going on?
Jacob broke away from my side. I crossed my arms over my chest as I heard him leave. Was he angry with me? What had I done – refused his lick?
I felt my annoyance build as I finally entered Jacob's house. Billy was asleep in his chair in the kitchen, his head bowed. I rolled him into his room. He woke when I turned on the lights.
"Whaaa? Jake?"
"No, it's Ari. You didn't have to stay up, Billy. Thank you, though," I helped him into the bed. He gave me a sleepy smile.
"How was your first patrol? I wanted," He yawned. "To tell you not to be mad at Jacob. Bella's wedding's in a week."
"Oh… It was fine, thanks. I'm not mad at him, if he told you that. Goodnight Billy." I paused by the door, waiting for his reply. He snored softly.
"Dad asleep?"
I closed the door and nodded.
"Sam gave me a lecture about leaving you, but you were walking so slow…"
"I accept your apology," I mumbled, stepping past him. I headed towards the bathroom. Jacob followed me. I could hear him mumbling through the door as I took my shower.
"Selfish…Tomorrow, if they haven't come I'm taking you back."
I put on my pajamas and went to the couch. I laid down and stared at the ceiling.
"Go sleep on the bed," Jacob sighed.
"It's your bed. You sleep on it."
"Ari, I'm trying to be a gentleman."
"A gentleman wouldn't leave a girl alone in the forest at…" I glanced at the glowing green numbers on the VCR. "Three AM."
"I left because I knew you could handle any drunk stray. I thought you forgave me."
"I did. Leave me alone, I'm tired." I knew that the odd, detached, and much too harsh voice belonged to me, but it was too late to take back my words. Jacob nodded, his face tight.
"Yeah, I figure you are tired. Sweet dreams."
The lights went out and I was forced to face the dark silence. The silence of the room, of my heart, of my life… Everything was falling apart. The one person I should have been trying to get close to probably thought I was rejecting his friendship. It wasn't that I was rejecting it, but I certainly wasn't going to embrace it with open arms like I had first thought. I was too sore to even attempt it.
I laid still for ten minutes before stumbling to Jacob's room. The door was open, as was the window. His dark hair shone in the moonlight. I noticed the tense muscles in his back and his squared shoulders. I made my way to him, leaning on his bed as I ran my hands down his chest.
"I'm sorry."
His body relaxed as he turned to face me. Half of his face was obscured in shadow. I couldn't read his eyes. "I'm really sorry," I whispered. "I've been a brat."
"I think you have a good excuse," His voice was gruff. He was mad.
"No excuses. I'm apologizing. My…my parents would want me to."
"Okay, then," Jacob brushed away a tear that I had fought so hard to contain. He wrapped his arm around my middle and pulled me onto the bed. I was crushed against his chest. "I know I haven't been acting too well, either." He laughed. "I couldn't have met you at a worse time."
I busied myself with playing with his hair, nodding in agreement. We sat in silence for a long time. I was glad for the warm refuge of Jacob's arms. I was glad that I could cry freely and he would sit there, not caring that half of my inaudible curses were directed towards him, his kind – my kind – and my stupid curiosity.
"Are you going to her wedding?" I asked, sniffing. Jacob stared out the window, his jaw working as he thought. He yawned.
"If I answer, can we try and squeeze in a couple hours of sleep?"
I pulled Jacob's arm so that he was forced to lie down beside me. "Sure." If I had to be honest with myself, I would have said no. No – because I was scared. What scared me was how free I could be around Jacob, how much I could feel. I was terrified of how easy it was for me to be me. The more I thought of Bella, the more I thought that Jacob would never really be mine… I frowned. When had I wanted him to be mine? When had I even thought of his as more than a friendly face? A handsome face, but definitely friendly.
"I'm going. Just for a little bit, but I have to see her human, just one more time. At least she'll be happy," Jacob sighed. "And then I'm all yours."
I couldn't help but think that even though he had imprinted on me, he would always dream that he could be with her. Did I want that? What was I to him? Comfort food?
I laughed softly, amused by my slight jealousy, though none of it mattered. He had promised to be mine. And he would be mine. I'd wait until he was.
"All mine," I mumbled, closing my eyes and waiting for sleep to come.
Yay! Jealousy! Um… I've got nothing much to say. Please review! Thanks everyone!