M I S T A K E N

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or any of the characters.

Yay! Um… One more chapter, then the epilogue! Thanks to everyone who leaves reviews, lol, I'll try my best to finish it up today.

23) curious)

Jacob had been in a so-so mood when he returned from the wedding. He didn't offer any details and I didn't ask for any. We had a mutual silence that lasted a day.

After being forced fed, I had managed to heal enough that it didn't kill me to move about. I still ached, and if I bent down I'd fall over with pain, but I was able to convince Jacob that I was well enough to return home. Besides, he had promised.

"Jacob," I groaned.

"Ari," He groaned back. I made a face before turning my head, breaking eye contact. So what if I had been staring? He had been staring first. It was hard not to stare at him.

"You packed all my things?"

"Yes, I did," He smiled slightly. "I guess you want us to leave now?"

"Yeah… I think I should face life, at least for a little while."

He took my arm and pulled me off of the couch. I gave Billy a hug, laughing at his flinch.

"Sorry I almost strangled you, before."

Billy laughed. "Come by often enough and you'll find other reasons."

I smiled as he handed me my wolf. "May Eli rest in peace."

"C'mon, the guys want to say bye."

The first of the 'guys' to say their farewells were Emily and Leah. I gave each a hug, nodding and smiling, while happily promising to return soon. Quil came up to me, his eyes narrowed.

"Mutt."

"Jerk."

His face broke into a smile as he embraced me. "See you later."

I arched an eyebrow as he settled me back onto the ground. "Later? You and Jacob aren't planning to kidnap me, are you?"

He laughed. "Jacob told you about that? Maybe we'll try that for New Years…"

"Haha, very funny," I turned to the rest of the pack. "Please – don't let him within five miles of my house."

Their laughter was nice to hear, though it made me sad to be leaving this place to face…what was left of my life. One by one they started to leave, murmuring their see-you-laters. I slid into the Rabbit and stared ahead, angrily wiping the tears that fell.

"Hey, you'll come back. They know that."

I nodded as Jacob started the car. Towards Seattle. My home.

"I'm not crying because of that," I mumbled. "I'm crying because I have to go back."

"You don't have to."

"I need to. I want to."

Jacob was quiet as we drove. Every couple of minutes he'd start a one sided conversation that eventually died with a glance in my direction. "Stop," I mumbled as soon as he turned into my neighborhood. He parked the car and stared at me.

"I don't want anyone to see your car, they'd ask questions I don't want to answer."

"Fair enough," He got out of the car and grabbed my bag from the back. I sighed as I stared down the street.

"Jacob…" I didn't know what to say to him. I knew what I wanted to say, I knew what had been on my mind for days now, but I didn't know how to say it.

"Yeah?" He turned to me. I shook my head, unable to make eye contact with his warm, open eyes. He was hurt. I only hoped he didn't care for me enough that my words hurt him more.

"You know how… You know what love feels like, what it supposed to feel like. I don't."

I didn't want to see the confusion on his face, but as I turned my attention to the lawn before us, he took my chin and tilted it upwards. I was forced to look at him now. "I told you we'll get there," He sighed. "Eventually…"

"I'm not talking about us, I'm talking about me. I-I want to feel it myself, with someone."

"Ari…"

"Wait, Jacob, I'm not done. I know I'll feel it with you, maybe I already am and I'm scared. I'm scared because this is all new to me. But I want to feel it without it being influenced by all this imprinting. I want to find it myself, without you."

He narrowed his eyes. "So you don't want us…"

"I do!" I pulled his hand away, squeezing his fingers tightly. "Jacob, I do, but I want me first! I want to have 'us' with someone else, like you did. Is that a problem?"

"Well, no, but-"

"But what? You know you're the only person I could ever want. What's the matter?"

"What if…"

"Just tell me, Jacob. I know it's selfish of me to just… dump you like this, but I'm-"

"What if you fall in love?" He blurted.

I blinked. Jacob's face became dark. "Oh." How had I not thought of this? Of course he was afraid I'd fall in love with someone else. Like Bella.

"Oh? You're telling me you want to feel love but you didn't think that you could fall in love? That makes no sense. It's both ways or you're not really feeling it."

I scraped my shoe against the sidewalk, shaking my head. Jacob laughed at me.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously, Jacob. I want to do this."

"You need me," He said softly. "Don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. At least I think I do. And you think you need me, but you don't want me." When Jacob didn't answer, I snorted. "You want her. How can I expect anything from you if you just want her?"

"I told you I'll get over it."

"Get over it now. I need you and she doesn't. She's not alone like I am."

"Ari…"

"Jacob, I'm serious. This is driving me crazy." I grabbed my bag. "Forget I said anything, okay? I guess I'll just go to Mrs. Neil's, and-"

"Make me want you, then," Jacob mumbled. "Ari!"

"I'm going!" I shouted, starting off. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. I growled.

"Let go."

"A kiss and you'll always be with me," Jacob smiled at my expression. "A friend of mine told me that."

"Dumb friend," I mumbled as I raised myself to give him a kiss. My lips brushed against his, but I wasn't satisfied. I wanted Jacob to want me; he wanted me to make him want me. I dropped my bag and let my arms snake up to his neck. I tugged his ponytail, untying the leather strap and knotting my fingers in his hair. Jacob started to pull away. "Ari…"

"Shut up," I growled, pulling him towards me – not the least bit gentle. I gasped as my back hit the car. Jacob frowned against my lips. I let one of my hands fall to his shoulder, then pulled away.

"Ari," Jacob pursed his lips. His body was hard against mine. He rested his hands on the Rabbit.

"Shut up," I repeated, angry tears running down my face. I wanted him to know how I felt, how he made me feel. "When I walk away I have to pretend none of this ever happened. You and me… the vampires… Everything. I don't know how my parents died, how Aki died… I have to act ignorant. Do you know how hard that will be? To stand at their graves and apologize?

"Because I wanted answers, my family is dead. Now I'm curious again and I'm hurting you."

"No you're not," Jacob mumbled. He wasn't convincing.

I forced my lips on his. I was frustrated, sad, and oddly happy. Jacob's warm lips yielded. I felt his arms hug my waist. He was angry, too – I could tell by how his lips firmed. His fingers ran over my stomach and he broke the kiss.

"You couldn't help that," I breathed on his neck.

"Whatever," His pout turned into a grin. "So?"

"I'm always here," I wiggled my fingers. The polished wood of the ring glistened. "You made a promise."

"Sure, I guess. How long do you need to…satisfy this curiosity of yours?"

"Um…" Now, I didn't want to, but if I didn't I'd always wonder what was out there. I might as well do it now, get it out of my system before anything happened between Jacob and I. I didn't want to hurt him again on top of everything else. "How about four months?"

"That long?"

"Hey, you can do some soul searching, too." I grinned. "Make me jealous."

Jacob shook his head. "Nah, you don't seem like the jealous type."

"You'd be surprised," I kissed his jaw and let my fingers linger on his cheek. "If it counts for anything, I don't think I'm going to find what I'm looking for."

Done! Yes! Next chapter is basically this chapter in Jacob's POV. ((sulks)) Yeah, sorry, that's cheap, I guess D But you get an epilogue, too! Umm… Thanks to everyone for reviewing, seriously. This has gotten on like, three more alerts and favorites lists in just one day. Cool! Once again, thank you readers!