A Fight With The Mirror

Ah, a narcissist's best friend the mirror. For any vain person out there they would love to see their "perfect" reflection gazing back at them with love. It must be a splendid feeling to enjoy looking in the mirror, to enjoy seeing the preson you believe to be "perfect" looking at you with such longing.

But hey not everyone can stand their own reflection. I know I cant. I couldnt say I'm ugly cause I'm not, but I cant say I'm beautiful either. I'm just plain. Normal I guess. Well I guess that this goes with that saying "in the eye of the beholder" I guess... But what do I see?Certainly not a boy at all. I would say more of a monster staring back at me.

And no not those horror movie monsters with the multiple heads or the one covered in fur with huge fangs. I would say more of a destructive person with evil beneath the surface. Yeah, that seems to fit me well. I'm not evil, but I'm certainly capable of mass destruction and a startling ablity to drive up the body count like you wouldnt believe.

So I guess the real question is if I have so much power why dont I use it for my own advantage? The only answer could be is that I cant. Well at least mentally I cant, I dont understand how people could walk upon the bruised backs of others so that they might have a chance to get ahead in life. How could anyone ever do that?

Like lets take Vlad for instance, he'll break anyone who gets in the way of his success. I fail to see the point. Well maybe thats why he constantly tells me I havent a clue, maybe there's something to being evil that is so invigrating that cause him to enjoy it. Do I just not know the feeling, and I think the bigger question is do I really want to find what it's like?

So then whats the big thrill of being a hero. Maybe if I was like Superman, now there's a guy people idolize or maybe Batman, those are the heros people love and sing the praises of. But who will love and scream my name in joy and bliss? Just once I'd like to hear a crowd say "look it's Danny Phantom he'll save us!" instead of the usual "oh my God it's the ghost kid,somebody catch it!" or "Good God, hide the children!"But I guess thats a wish to fair.

As far as I know there isnt much of a rush in being the hero and it really isnt that satisfying to boot. But then when you've been given a gift and a curse it seems that there will never be any true satification in the end. Maybe's its because I'm not normal, maybe it's the fact that I am a freak.

Before I head downstairs I take one last look into my own eyes and even I cant see pass them. But I think to myself isn't all of this pointless? Self indulgent? Implicitly arrogant?Maybe.Everything's pointless in the end.Yet I digress...