Secrets
We've all got our secrets. Each and every person has got some deep dark secret hidden beneath them that if any one ever knew it would destroy them. I dont think there is any one who can honestly say they've got nothing to hide. We need secrecy to live, it's the truth.Life just isnt exciting when you've got nothing to hide, because then what will you be trying to conceal or protect? Where's your reason to run?
My secrets though are not ever to be found out. Basically because if people ever found out my deepest darkest secret then my best friend will get the trouble. I hardly think any one would kill me for my secret, but for his... Well thats a given.
I've played out what could and may happen if people learned about Danny. And in almost every scenario there was no happy ending. But then again life isnt like a fairy tale or movie, there is no plot that'll save us, no perfect timing because that's how it's suppose to play out. No that's just not how it goes.
Of course I'm sure any honest person would say they wished life was easier like that. I know I do. I'm sick of always living on edge and being afraid. Stupid questions always dance around my head. Like, 'why is he late?' 'is ok?' 'did they find about him?' 'will I see him tomorrow?'
I shouldnt even have to think about those questions. But I do. Although I wouldnt trade my friendship with Danny for all the soundness in the world. I have to admit I love the adventure and oddness that comes from fighting ghosts with him. Not to mention the danger. It's all very exciting.
Danny calls to me all the timein the halls and I always join his side along with my techno geek friend, Tucker. He's alway fidling with that PDA always.Thinking about this makes me smile, but I smile a lot even if that isnt very Goth like. That's ok, I love to smile with my friends.
Actually I think it's Danny that always brings a smile to my face. He's probably the only one who can make me blush. Unless it's Tucker talking about Danny and me being together. Ugh I hate emotions, because I really and truly cant hide them forever. Grandma looks at me, her eyes are shinning she can see right through me.
"Sammy," She cooes, she's the only one I let call me Sammy,"my little grand daughter, you look distraught, tell my whats on your mind." She says as she approaches me in our small garden. She only has to take one look at me."Oh tyhis is about the Fenton boy, isnt it?"
Damn her and her ability to read me. Luckily I can conceal Danny's secret, just not mine. I rest my book down on my chest and look up at her from the stone bench I am lieing on. "What makes you think that?" I ask.
"Well you've been on that page for about a half an hour. That means somethings on your mind and your reading"In Youth I Have Known"by Poe. Somehow I think your thoughts are upon that Fenton kid. They always are when you read that poem."
"Well so what if they are?" I answer and sit up letting the book slide down into my lap. She sits beside me on the cool stone.
"You love that boy, Danny." She says as if it was so natural to say.
Oh she's good. Now should I back down or let her win. Hmm, tough call she is very good at this. "Well I dont know..." I trail off.
"Of course you do. But you wont say it will you." I shake my head."Well that's ok, at least I'd convinced your parents to lift that restraining order."
"That was you?"
"Well not the dress idea, but still... You get it right?"
"Ok grandma I'll willing to admit, yes I do have feelings for Danny. But I"m not ready to tell him yet. So can we keep this our little secret?"
"Of course little rose.Now when are you going to tell me that other secret you are hiding?"
"Umm not for I while." I say with a blush, " Let's just stop here for now."
It's true, we all have our little secrets. Sometimes its better to share it with a special loved one though. Like Danny does with Jazz. I do the same with my grandma.If you cant tell thw world at lest tell someone close, that way things wont be as lonely or complicated.