i'm very sorry for the long wait and thrilled from the amount of reviews so far! next week i have midterms so i might not be able to get a chapter written for a week and a half, but then again, you never know!
and now for the thanks!
Atlantis Rules #1 - wow... I'm really glad you like it so much! (blushes)
Lorency - thanks a bunch!
The Mythical Pen - two birds with one stone, lol
Erikstrulove - i know, gotta love Carson... (sighs)
Christieanne-Anna - you know what... i think thats a great idea!
GL12 - i write as fast as my fingers and time allows me to!
Knightgirl4Jack - lol, i feel all warm and fuzzy inside! i luv you too!
Loethaelis - no way! are you serious! COOL! (goes to find Kaylee)
nightpheonix - you are absolutely correct... i couldnt remember her name for shit. i was too lazy to look it up!
Spice9 - i update! i do, i do! lol
elle - i'm glad to see you aboard and thank you very much!
SilverRider - rodney is absolutely hysterical! LOL! and to some he is necessary... to others - a pain in the mik'ta!
fififolle - yes... rascals... doesnt it sum it up nicely? lol, if only carson could say that on the show it would be great!
PentagonMerlin - the Psycho-Asshole? oooh... has potential, i look into it ;)
Dr.Dredd - i know... but like i said, i didnt remember and Carson is bound to have a memory lapse right?
highonscifi - yess... that might be next, just maybe
CylentWind - lol, glad you are keeping yourself healthy with the story... laughing is good for ya!
Vecturist - OMG! i can't BELIEVE i forgot the Chair! (smacks self) duuuuh... and to think, i created Checkett... i'm an idiot...
TheNaggingCube - oh, Dr. Z will have his moment... and a great shining moment it will be (i hope)
McRaider - i'd have to agree, rodney is necessary... but we wont tell him that... "mustnt feed the beast"
stevewraith - lol, i know... i dont know if i should stop and put reactions or leave it till the end tho...
crap... 21 reviews! yikes... i'm touched really! (hugs) thank you! i hope you guys like this one as much as the others!
Teyla roamed around in the general direction of her quarters from Weir's office. Weir had called the Athosian to her office, hinting that she might need her rarely used laptop. Sneaking around in Earth clothes with a laptop under her arm might look very inconspicuous to you or me, but the other Athosians knew her and she wasn't really comfortable carrying the technology.
Suddenly her piece of technology vibrated alerting her of an… email. She quickly looked around for a table or something to prop her laptop up on. Seeing no such place, Teyla found a step of sorts, opened up her laptop, and propped it up on her knee. It was a trick she hadn't quite mastered, but was coming close to it.
What a peculiar human trait.
The knee-table was equivalent in strangeness and toughness as the shoulder-resting phone trick. Earthlings must have a very odd sense of balance.
At any rate, she looked at her in-base email and noticed a couple different titles. Three of them had been directed to her through many forwards. They were… chain mail as humans say. One was from Ronon though with the heading 'I have something for you - a plan.'
Feeling intrigued, she snapped close her laptop and headed towards Ronon's quarters. With a small knock she opened the door to his room and found him standing right behind it.
"Hello Ronon. What have you called me for?"
"Well, I got this idea…," he looked sheepish. Teyla looked at him expectantly with a 'well?' look. He grinned a little. "Have you read your email yet?"
OOO
The Local Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy
1. Next time some tries to help you, be sure the Wraith aren't involved.
... a. It never fails – if AT-1 comes to rescue you, Wraith will follow. Be warned.
2. Bring MANY weapons
... a. You never know when you'll need them.
... b. Use them often.
... c. Clean them often. (it scares people to see blood on your sword or knife)
For that one Teyla slapped Ronon on the arm. They had been switching off, but Ronon had decided to take control of the keyboard.
3. Keep "duck tape" on hand.
... a. It's a handy adhesive the humans have. When placed over a mouth, it mutes out the sound to mere grunts and muffles.
... b. You can make a holster out of it.
4. Do not do drugs, particularly the Pegasus version.
... a. They are bad for you.
... b. They make you hurt other people with your fists.
... c. They hurt when you go through withdrawal.
... d. They can make you see scary things.
5. When you see a zero point module, kindly return it to the City of the Ancestors.
... a. We… they need them badly.
... b. Besides, it's the City of the Ancestors, respect them by returning their lost merchandise.
Ronon snickered as he typed this in – suckers.
6. When a Wraith male dares to defy you, rap it in the head with your sticks.
... a. This should knock some sense into him.
... b. You can also use this technique on human males.
... c. And most other kinds of males.
7. Knifes are very useful hair accessories. .
... a. Not only that, but you can pull them out in a dangerous situation and look really cool!
8. Learn the art of bullshit.
... a. It could save your very life or make you into a goddess (or god).
... b. The exception to 8a is if they (the people being bullshitted) find out you bullshit them. In this case: run.
9. Know that your enhanced Pegasus galaxy "super powers" may look normal to you, but to humans it looks impressive.
... a. Earthlings are easily impressed by such antics as running from or fighting off a Wraith (or something).
... b. You can win them over this way.
10. Try to learn as much about a culture as you can before living with them.
... a. This keeps you from feeling like an ass every time they make a passing reference to something, a "common" colloquialism, cliché, pun, or joke.
... b. A "hail Mary" will constantly elude you even if you do watch… football on… TV all the time with Colonel Sheppard. As will "Ferris wheels," "clowns," why Earthlings watch TV, computers, and a multitude of other subjects.
Yes, that just about settled it nicely. Ronon and Teyla gave each other a high five and pressed the "SEND" button. Teyla composed herself, opened Ronon's door, and calmly strode out even though inside she was laughing.
well? do share your thoughts, ideas.. feedback! and you might get a dessert next time around!