meep! sorry for the long wait... but you all know those pesky midterms... THEY'RE ALMOST OVER WOOT! lol sorry...
Lorency - you think? lol, i was thinking of poor teal'c being super confused by EVERY nuance. thanks!
Christieanne-Anna - always good to hear "interesting" in a review... thank you!
nightpheonix - true dat, but around Earthlings... not such a great idea, ya know?
fififolle - well, we do do some weird balancing acts... esp. the phone. and yeah, sgt. canada is in the works for later
Loethaelis - LOL actually neither... i havent finished reading it b/c my dad stole it and i've seen it twice... but it comes up in convos a lot
Lady Sidera - lol, glad to make ya laugh... but i hope you didnt give your family too much of a fright:)
BeachchickJASSNL - same question ran through my head and i started to worry where he'd pull them out of...
anym. - now can you get an account here? i'd love to read what you have and list ya as a fave!
The Mythical Pen - oh trust me... i have some pretty weird ideas coming... but first i'll finish will Atlantis.. THEN to Earth we go! keep them coming!
Knightgirl4Jack - are you serious? wow... (blushes) thank you soo much!
Spice9 - and continue i shall!
Milliecake - both your wishes will come true!
Lennexa - i'm glad you enjoyed it and welcome aboard!
drufan - lol, i aim to please!
Arwen75 - i'm glad it makes you happy and thank you for your kind words!
SilverRider -i know, seeing his face would be priceless
Lyon - this second i read your review in my email, i said "it's going in" (after atlantis personnel are done and before we move to earth)
HIMluv - the Hittchiker series is incredible genius, but atlantis added in was to be funny... (i'm not that genius-like)
Yarrharr - oh you'll see how the wraith get it!
McRaider - well, i figured they're two prominent aliens from the same galaxy, why not share it? thanks!
PentagonMerlin - well, i guess every story has a moral... i think... lol
Vecturist - oh sorry i forgot to post a no eating/drinking warning... i had someone else who ruined her screen by tea... coffee would be devestating!
The Nagging Cube - i'm very happy that you liked it! thank you!
highonscifi - probably she'll be next... or next after next...
holy cow... thats a lot of reviews! I heart all of you! May the Wraith not cull you and may you bestow your kindness on all who are deserving! love ya!
oh and if you can tell, the story is floating around in order of sorts... as much as possible at least... NOW, on to Chapt 6!
Colonel Caldwell strode down the hallways of Atlantis with a graceful ease of authority. Or false authority. Yeah people listened to him because they had too, but he was a noob just all the rest. It didn't mean he had to feel that way though. Hence, he strode forth.
Coming near to his quarters, Caldwell's military-minded watch beeped at him indignantly. This meant he had only a half hour left to unwind and take a shower before heading back to the Control Room to supervise the weekly mission briefing to Earth. The colonel sighed, all in a day's work.
But that half hour certainly didn't mean that he wasn't going to check his email.
Plopping his comfy chair he'd stowed away on the Daedalus for this use exactly, he flipped open his handy-dandy laptop. After checking up on his security teams, on went the email. He had at least ten and five of them were spam mail. Spam mail… in the Pegasus galaxy, what gave?
The other five were massive chain mails and, coincidentally, the person who'd passed them on to him was Dr. Kavanaugh. That slimy, sniveling, no-good piece of crap had once again been hoping to undermine Atlantis by sending the fun mails to someone 'strict' and 'no fun.'
'Asswipe…' Caldwell thought as he opened the emails up. At least twenty minutes later, the colonel finished reading all the mail and curious ideas started falling into his own head. This thing was contagious! Awesome…
OOO
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy for COs.
1. ALWAYS look stern and pretend to know what you're doing.
... a. It looks good on your resume. Not really, but it makes you look all intelligent and stuff.
... b. You get people to look up to you and get to feel special.
2. Never bother challenging women (in any high position) of any social status, race or species.
... a. They will probably always win out.
... b. If they don't succeed, they try, try, and try again.
... c. If that doesn't work, they'll use the puppy face.
The colonel shuddered, the dreaded puppy-dog face was practiced and perfected by all women and used on all men. They must perfect it in women's special ops or something.
3. Learn to recognize subtle humor and grunt where necessary.
... a. I think it shows that you are not one to be reckoned with.
... b. Though boring, it may be necessary.
4. Be aware of all enemies you may encounter.
... a. This includes the Goa'uld, the Wraith, the Ori, and the Replicators among others.
... b. Be prepared so when someone tells you the Goa'uld are near you, you don't freak.
... c. You never know where they might pop out at you!
Feeling very uneasy, Caldwell slapped himself. He vaguely wondered why all bad guys are, physically, either slimy, cold, or greasy. It never failed. Shivering, he got back to work.
5. Where there be scientists, there not you shall be.
... a. They are hazardous to your health, hearing, and temper.
... b. They are much smarter than you. If they want you to agree with something technical, get a translator.
6. Never travel without at LEAST three rail guns.
... a. With those incredible specifications, who wouldn't?
... b. If you don't, you're crazy.
7. If spastic-psychobitches ever decide to rampage through your base, don't hesitate to shoot them.
... a. This works for ALL races and species.
... b. This may or may not include Dr. Kavanaugh (any day) or Dr. McKay (on drugs) and/or Lt. Ford (on drugs).
Oh, that was fun! Caldwell sincerely hoped Kavanugh would get this because of the hate mail the doctor had sent to the colonel. He quickly glanced at his watch, sent out the letter to the heads of the departments and scurried down to the Control Room for the 'debriefing' of Stargate Command.
questions, comments, reviews? click here! well.. down there...
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE SHOW! PLEASE RETURN NEXT TIME FOR... CHAPTER 7! (scary music). hehe