since i love my reviewers so much and the muse ran wacky (this wasnt posted earlier due to massive homework, but now its vacation!) i bring you all the next chapter in our saga of insanity!

nightpheonix - as requested on the ReviewerPhone, fast next chappie!
GL12 - Chuck eh? who's that?
Stargate-Luver - lol, i;m very glad i got something medical right
Christieanne-Anna - thank you very much!
Knightgirl4Jack - yeah, thats annoying... wraithscaremetoo... lol
stevewraith - thanks... i can suffienctly say the chappie was based on small experience
Vecturist - well, i didnt think she'd actually do one, so what better way than to get her high?
Lady Sidera - i'm happy you're wasnt around, wouldnt have been pretty, LOL
fififolle - yes... the hot 'new' guy, lol and thank you much!
The Mythical Pen - lol, thanks (tries to think what Pen wouldve done with psyche stations...)
Yarrharr - i went back and found it and was very happy you have left it... gould issues, LOL
flubber - love ur name for one, but he'll come back... eventually
AtlanteanFanofEarth - laughing too early in the morning can be bad for you, leads to giggles
Spice9 - (nudges) look below!
Out of Phase - very glad you enjoyed them!
The Nagging Cube - yes, Puffs are very soft arent they, love them...!
Beach chickJASSNL - i be continuing now! glad you like Heightmeyer... hehehehe
Mackenise Jackson - i know, so many POVs, so little time... it will be done!

thank you all for your lovely reviews! i'm an author who, when seeing reviews, remembers to type the story... my brain is like Swiss cheese, without constant reminder... i might forget... lol... see you all... in... The Twilight Zone (hums theme song)

right, wrong show... on to Chapter 8!

A day or so had flown by since one poor doctor got hollered at by some other doctor. And it hadn't been about the next breakthrough in astrophysics either. The brown-haired Czech stared at his computer and blinked, thinking on the past day's events. Rodney yelling at him, Kavanaugh bitching at him… again…, work, work and more work.

That is what he was currently embroiled in – work. Ick. Not that he didn't love astrophysics (after all, he was an astrophysicist), but paperwork galore and other minor problems had built up after he'd ignored them for bigger things.

Now, with all ideas gone, he was tired and really bored. And he needed a break.

Zelenka had thought of heading down to the cafeteria, but he figured McKay would be there and if McKay saw him, he'd be screwed. So the scientist's lab was deemed the safest place to be. With that settled, Radek proceeded to check his email because he hadn't done it for days. Honestly, he'd forgotten the WiFi had been put in after so long not having it.

His "email review" page told him he had 42 emails and at least 13 of them were from various staff members that he knew. Eying his computer screen, Zelenka clicked to see his inbox. Within held many of the same titles:

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy for Psychologists
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy for COs
The Local Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy
Fw: Fw: Fwd: The Local Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy
Fw: Fwd: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy for Medical Doctors
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy for Leaders
The Civilian Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy
Fw: Fw: Re: Fw: Fwd: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy

Looking at them all incredulously, he wondered what Sheppard had gotten himself into. After all, Zelenka had only seen the colonel's original copy of the "Guide." Now… now there were, Zelenka counted quickly, seven of them? Wow. This was a great example of what the Americans called the "grapevine."

OOO

The Scientific Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy

1. Look smart, be smart, but don't overdo it.

... a. If you overdo it and you are totally intolerable and egotistical, I will make sure an "accident" will happen in your lab or bedroom.

... b. If you are tolerable and overdo it anyway, I might just employ duct tape. It's scientifically proven to hurt when ripped off violently.

2. If all else fails, hit the ground and start flailing.

... a. It looks like you're having a seizure and might die. The locals might leave you alone after that if it's convincing.

.. b. Besides, it's Dentyne-ism #12.

3. When you find people around you can start understanding your native language, it's time to quit that.

... a. It's kind of odd when an English-speaking someone says to you "I know what you mean" after a nasty Czech phrase.

... b. If they decipher your language, they'll know when you're swearing at them behind their back.

4. When going offworld for a checkup mission, be cool and act cool.

... a. There usually isn't anything around that'll hurt you too badly. Maul you maybe, but kill you, nah unless it's Wraith.

... b. When something will kill you: run. It only makes sense.

5. NEVER go to M7G-677. Ever.

... a. This is written with a blazing passion. There are kids there that have the means to break your equipment.

... b. My sister has a kid, he breaks things, he throws things, he smears things on the furniture – they WILL do something to you as well!

... c. You were warned.

6. Try to avoid flying with Caldwell and crew.

... a. While a good crew that shuttles you back and forth between galaxies, it's a battleship and battleships get into fights. With all those fights, some components are just itching to fail at precisely the worst possible moment.

... b. The less you fly into battle, the less likely you are to be blown up.

7. If you cannot swim, don't try it here.

... a. There are sea-monsters. No joke, they will probably snap you in half.

... b. Rodney McKay wasn't tasty enough to be eaten alive. He was crazy.

... c. Sea monsters don't eat crazy people on the bottom of the ocean, it's not their M.O. We've all seen "Jaws" and movies like that. Sea monsters eat surface people. Beware.

Zelenka looked at the last one and shuddered a little. He hated the water. Correction, he hated being in the water. It may have had to do with the fact that he couldn't swim, but he hated the ocean. And what figured was that Radek Zelenka from the inland country of the Czech Republic was now in another galaxy living in a city that existed in the middle of a large ocean.

This was how life got back at people.

Shaking his head, Zelenka sent off the email and slowly eased back into work. Maybe the people would heed his advice. The scientist hoped they would.

well, now that you're here (and hopefully laughing), it wouldnt hurt to tell me what you thot of it or who you want to see... because my list of people to go is at 2 and then on to outside Atlantis (maybe... probably)

oh yeah! i totally don't own Dentyne Ice gum either... grrr.. its good tho!