Electricity

By LMR

Disclaimer: Come up with your own damn disclaimer! One that says LMR doesn't own it! And it had better be funny, darn it!

A.N.: Thank you for the Beta job, Claire! round of applause

A.N. 2: Hooray reviewers!

A.N. 3: My dear Beta actually did come up with her own funny disclaimer:

There's a lovely young lady from America,

Who entices these characters to play with her,

She makes them do tricks,

To flirt and to kiss,

With a touch of modest erotica.

Chapter 12: We're Not Annoying You. Are We?

xXx

Home of Audra Nicholson - Tuesday, July 3 - 2:49 p.m. Doink, doink.

"Hi, Miss Nicholson, thanks for inviting us in." Eames said this even as her partner was halfway through the door. She followed. Well, as far as the let's annoy the heck out of the suspect game had come so far, this was one of their finer works. Nicholson was already furious and Eames was yet to have both feet planted on the lush black carpet. Hmm, I can think of other things I'd like to do on this carpet. Then again, there would be carpet burns... That speed had to be a personal record. Cool. "We were just hoping we could ask you a few more questions."

"Hey, is this an original Theodore Whannell?" Goren "carelessly" picked up a black sculpture from the coffee table. Alex could tell he was holding it very gently by the way his fingers tensed at the tips. He wouldn't risk breaking an original Whositswhat for anything, and she'd become accustomed to his talent for feigning clumsiness, not to mention his graceful movements.

She pondered this for a moment. Hmm, graceful movements.

"Be careful with that!" Audra snapped. It was all Eames could do not to laugh.

"Never mind him, it's just this thing he does. What we were really hoping for, Miss Nicholson, was that you could be of further assistance with the death of Iskra Kent. It won't take long, if you'd just come down to the station wi-"

Goren had abandoned the sculpture in favor of a painting that was hanging, or rather had been hanging, above the mantle before he decided he needed a closer look. "Hey, this is a Leigh Bell, isn't it? Wow!"

"Stop that!" Nicholson yelled, frantic. She lost her cool altogether as she raced across the room to snatch it away from Goren and hang it back on the wall. No mean feat as she was about a foot too short.

Bobby grinned at Alex who held back a laugh and gave him a nice job look. While Audra was still busy with the painting, Goren headed toward the bookshelf. "Hey, Eames, look at this. This is a first edition." He licked his finger and reached to the bottom of the page at which point Nicholson, who had dropped the painting to the floor in shock, dived to swipe the book away from him. Good timing, seeing as Goren would rather have dropped an Acme anvil on his foot than taint a first edition with saliva, even if the book was only The Art of Feng Shui as Applied to Fifteenth Century Toilets.

"We were just hoping you would come down to the station with us and just answer a few questions. I mean, we really don't want to stand around your apartment all day, but-"

"Hey, Eames! Look at this one!"

"Okay, okay, I'll go! Just let me get my purse. And you: Sit down and stay put."

When she had left the room, Bobby, still standing, gave Alex an inquisitive look.

"Yes, Bobby," she said in a half laugh. "I think we should sit down and stay put."

He did. "Well, the stuff in here really is pretty neat," he said a touch defensively. Alex just smiled and shook her head. She sat next to him and gave his leg a friendly pat, emboldened by the look he'd been giving that picture frame. He smiled; a loving and/or friendly smile covered in ambiguity.

Well, Alex thought ruefully. Whatever he means by it, it sure is cute.

xXx

Carver raised an eyebrow. "She came in voluntarily," Eames said simply.

"I don't even want to know how you convinced her."

"It wasn't that hard, we just-" she started.

"No, I mean it. I'd really rather not know." Eames shrugged and joined her partner in the interrogation room.

"Don't you have a room with windows, at least?" Audra snarled. She had refused to even speak to Goren.

"Sorry," Eames quipped, sitting. "Conference room is occupied, we had to settle for this." She looked at her, feigning concern. "This is okay with you, isn't it?" Audra nodded, resigned. Goren admired the trick. Getting Nicholson to agree to the arrangements would make her more compliant with their investigation. Okay, so Eames probably didn't know much about cognitive dissonance, but she was clever enough to know exactly how to evoke it.

"Well, what we really want to know is if you're a career homewrecker, or if you reserved that for Drake and Iskra." Eames casually asked a stonily silent Nicholson.

"That is none of your business," she snapped in a low voice.

"The more you tell us, the more innocent you'll look," Eames pointed out. "Besides, if you routinely steal your friends' boyfriends without killing them, the less likely we'll find it that you made an exception this time. So really, the more of a tramp you are, the better you look," she concluded flippantly and quite honestly.

Audra glowered, and behind her, Goren nearly grinned. He gave Eames a raised eyebrow and a conceding tilt of the head to propose to shift tactics just slightly. "Even if you're not a killer," he said derisively. "You are pathetic. She was your friend. How could you?" He was yelling now, trying to work her into a frenzy.

She didn't take the bait, and responded calmly. "Yes she was, sort of. And it's none of your business."

"Wouldja' look at that?" He said loudly to his partner. "Cold, heartless- What a piece of work. She was your friend, and you shacked up with her fiancée. Nice, huh?" Eames agreed, putting a befitting measure of contempt in her expression.

"Yes I did!" she answered emphatically, finally shouting back. "And I don't regret it. Why should I have cared about her? She was pathetic. She didn't deserve him!"

xXx

Questions to be answered:

What stupid disclaimer will LMR come up with next?

Will Drake roll on Audra?

What's in the damn gift bag already?

Please review!