hello hello hello! this will be my last chapter before going away to England for the next week! (just so you know) and this is the chapter you've all been waiting for... i hope its up to par!
thecrystalkey - thank you and i shall keep it up! welcome aboard!
nyrocat - update? whats that? lol! i will i will
PKBitchGirl1 - hmmm... that wraith would be fun... yessss... good idea!
SeagullMan - she could totally kick a marine's ass! thats the best part!
Earllyn - just found! (gasp) LOL, jk... welcome to the reviewers board...
atlantian - lol, bashing your head and computer in isnt gonna make me post faster... but its worth a try :)
McKayLover - that would be funny... everyone would be like WTF?
fififolle - lol, those bald marines, they're out to get ya!
1337StargateFan - thats good, i made even a non-Cadman person like it! thanks
Janajyo - yeah, the cute tech man is Sgt. Canada... thats all we know of him... glad you like it!
flubber - yay! a loyal reviewer! (hugs)
AkimaDoll - ah the twisted little snake has his say this chapter!
Christieanne-Anna - thank you very much!
Neko-Cat-Sama - yes, women rock and rodney needs a date life!
Port-of-Seas - ooh... a threat... yikes... well, its here... do read...
001ElvenWarrior - lol, yeah kavanaugh is sooo hated, you're probably right...
Delka - glad you love them so much too!
Loethaelis - ah, you like iChicken? sounds good! we shall have a feast... on me!
Beach chickJASSNL - lol, i shall keep writing... i would die otherwise!
nightpheonix - iPi! thats brilliant and sticking things in the Musical... ooh so many backwashed ideas!
stevewraith - giggles can be slightly dangerous... dont hurt yourself, i want more of your giggles this chapter!
SilverRider - ah yes, the ever growing list of fics to be done... oy, thanks for your support!
Stargate-Luver - you mean... Sgt. Canada! we know he's a sgt and hes from Canada... hence the name.. lol
Erikstrulove - lol, a people liked 3! but you were the first to say so! #3 could be yours!
wow... tons of reviews! i love you all very much for your time in reviewing! i hope i didnt let you all down on this one... this is a tow-in-one chapter... you'll see...
and now... chapter 12!
During a debriefing with some new members of the expedition, Colonel Sheppard became bored. Yeah, he was supposed to be helping McKay and Zelenka pick and choose, but honestly: this sucked. So, guess what he did. Checked his email. Oh yeah and what he found made his eyes bug out a lot.
Zelenka looked up at him and tilted his head in question. Sheppard gestured to the laptop then sent an instant message by way of Dr. Z.
Sheppard: Yo doc, check your mail… those guides we sent out… yikes…
Zelenka, disapproving of the nickname, checked his email anyway just to see what on Atlantis Sheppard was crowing about. His large brown eyes bugged out as well.
Zelenka: Ah… I see… that's… a lot of forwarded guides, wouldnt you agree?
Sheppard: oh yeah…
Zelenka: get any… "noobs" to respond
Sheppard: well… no. hey, lets get these guys into it.
Zelenka: colonel…?
Sheppard: they gotta be "in" to be in Atlantis!
So Sheppard called a quick break.
"Kids, can we all look at our mailboxes? This is "How to Check Your Intranet Email 101," Sheppard smiled. The scientists groaned, they all knew how to check their emails. Several of them could read quite fast and suddenly, the three senior staff had at least five very scared faces looking up at them.
McKay chuckled conspiratorially as John rubbed his hands together. Zelenka made them all jump by cracking his knuckles. Show time.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
One lonely, and self-proclaimed genius, sat idling away in his lab. This certain scientist was again pissed off. The commander of a very important scientific outpost had AGAIN usurped him in his latest and most brilliant suggestion. He had suggested that the commander step down.
That had pissed her off royally. Must have been that time of the month.
Not only that, but the pony-tailed scientist had all these Guides that were aimed at him. Kavanaugh sulked in the depths of his secret lab. Not even that bumbling idiot McKay knew where he hid.
Ha, and that man called himself a genius? Amazing. McKay probably couldn't even find the difference between a magnetoplasmadynamic thruster and a magnetohydrodynamic drive. What a simpleton. McKay was a poor astrophysicist by any rational human's standards. He probably couldn't tell Kavanaugh the whole theory behind string and superstring theory and who came up with both theories.
Suffice to say, he, Dr. Kavanaugh could tell you.
And that pompous ass of a man, Colonel John Sheppard… what gall to accuse HIM of being a Goa'uld… oh yeah, not first on the list eh? What a bastard! And the never to release that untamed dog of his on him… ugh!
Anyway, there was only one way to get back at these people who had made his life a living hell.
OOO
The Malcontent Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy
1. Never let an emotional female run your expedition into another galaxy.
... a. This will result in unnecessary deaths, risks, and/or aliens overrunning the city in which you inhabit.
... b. It's generally a bad thing.
2. When a general in the USAF tells you that you're going to be the chief scientist in Atlantis, don't be idiot enough to believe him.
... a. I didn't believe him, I swear!
... b. Even if I did (and I didn't!) it wouldn't happen ever again.
3. If pompous asses keep you from doing your job, kill them.
... a. If only I knew how to work a gun…
4. If other people think that killing one person to save thousands is weird, you're hanging in the wrong crowd.
... a. Yes, I can't quite understand that notion. If your commander cares about one person more than you and everyone else, you have a problem.
... b. It probably means that the commander and he are too close.
5. When everyone else doesn't seem to think that you aren't instantly popular, then show off.
... a. This tactic worked admirably for McKay and he has undermined my hard work and effort.
... b. This tactic also works well for Sheppard and Weir – the two senior staff who run things. Surprise, surprise…
At this point, Kavanaugh put up his head in a truly vain form. It was almost like no other hair on Earth or Atlantis was allowed to exist save his. He looked around haughtily and continued with his perfectly reasonable list.
6. When an alien tells you to be quiet, you know you have a problem
... a. Obviously the alien doesn't realize how essential you are to everyone.
... b. Besides, "be quiet" is just the way of an inferior saying "quiet, because I need time to think about this hard question that you've already solved."
7. Don't even bother looking brave if you're scared. The best thing to do is to say so and run.
... a. I mean how logical is it to falsify what you're really feeling? If you're scared, run away.
... b. Apparently, no one, not even McKay, has enough wit to run at the sign of danger.
Kavanaugh felt proud of himself in a small way. This was pay-back and they'd all better listen to the one and only Dr. Kavanaugh the Amazing!
Only because… he was amazing.
People had better learn to deal with his extraordinary brilliance fast.
today for the REVIEWERS, we have a feast planned of iChicken (both of iDarkMeat and iWhiteMeat), iTofuTurkey, iPotatoes, iMashedPotatoes, eCranberrySauce, iBeer (forlegal drinkers), and much iPie (and iPi), eCookies, eBrownies, and iCake! and it is all... on me! (if that is your custom of course, lol)
hope you enjoyed the chapter and will enjoy the meal!
4/12/06