not as may people liked the last one? hmm... i hope this one stands up to par! well, then again its coming on summer, this site almost cloes down for the summer, soo... yeah
Beack chickJASSNL - lol, thank you, glad you found it funny!
Port-of-Seas - LOL! they are frightening creatures...
Knightgirl4Jack - ah, frosh are you... lol, thats all fun... yeah, noobs need strength!
Nightpheonix - lol, thats okay and djari tells kekipi to work on her own writer's block!
fififolle - lol, i think i'd hide myself in a bag with a gun... no one would find me!
McKayLover - i was thinking about it, but seeing how skittish they are, probably not... sorry...
Errant of the Violet Shocker - welcome to the reviewer committee! LOL, glad you like it so far!
SilverRider - lol, very happy you like it! i didnt know if it sounded too awkward or not, lol
Vecturist - lol, yeah, but can you imagine the letters home? "mom... i got attacked by a Guide..."
001ElvenWarrior - i know..i hate it when my muse takes off, esp. with so many ppl wanting more chapters of this!
The Mythical Pen - lol, yeah... i bet jack will appreciate it!
x-izzles-x - lol, welcome welcome! i'm glad i put the note too... everyone would be like "WTF?" lol, thanks!
stevewraith - lol, glad you like the class system! i thought itd be a good way for them to be... assimilated...
lol, now i know why this probably wasnt such an attractive chapter for noobs... because it takes reading the whole story and makes no sense to those who havent read it yet... whereas a Guide almost stands alone... easier to read! but anyway... THANKS YOU LOYAL REVIEWERS! and new loyal reviewers! love you all!
and now... chapter 15!
The Stargate of Atlantis was utterly bored. No one had dialed in or out in the last week except for the weekly report to Earth. Not that that was boring, but it was tiring. That single dial to Earth took up most of the gate's energy. In short, he was pooped.
Hell, the Ancients had dialed at least three places every week when they had been around.
It was a trying job being a Stargate. Not that he minded, usually… he was the most important gate in the Pegasus Galaxy to at least three different civilizations! That meant that he was fought over! This delighted the gate more than anyone, save Atlantis herself, could possibly imagine.
At any rate, the gate had heard some mutterings about some sort of Guide. He'd never heard of a thing called "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," but he had heard that each one of them had seven laws that the individual thought others should follow.
It seemed reasonable.
Well, then again… these Earthlings were pretty strange… but the Ancients were at fault for that.
Seeing how much commotion these Guides were causing over an internal system called "e-mail," the Stargate decided to try one out and see what happened. He shook briefly as he giggled.
Sergeant Canada looked out into the Gate Room as it briefly shook. With a cocked eyebrow, he quickly checked the gate diagnostics and found nothing wrong. That was odd because he had definitely seen the Stargate… he hated to say it, but… he'd seen the Gate giggle a little.
Shaking his head, the sergeant left a diagnostic running. The Stargate hijacked the laptop and opened up a little program known affectionately as Word…
OOO
The Hitchhiking Stargate's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy
1. When dialed up, try not to giggle when your floosh comes out.
... a. It can be really distracting.
... b. You don't want to be poked and prodded by an interested scientist either.
2. Try not to burn down, fall over, or sink into a swamp…
... a. None of this is particularly fun… I've sunk into an ocean, a bit watery.
... b. It also leaves the people you're sworn to transport stranded.
... c. That sucks. They give you grief about it ALL the time!
3. Try not to get anyone stuck in your buffers.
... a. It's extremely uncomfortable!
4. Make your wormhole ride as rough as possible.
... a. Although we are sworn to transport whoever comes through, it doesn't mean we can't have a little fun!
... b. Besides, it's always fun to see the poor things come tumbling out your end.
5. When re-settling, tell the rest of us your new address!
... a. If you don't tell us during the update, we can't throw our people by to say hello.
... b. It's bad karma for the next family get-together.
6. If you're an orbiting gate, get your stabilizers checked every 50,000 years.
... a. It helps.
... b. We don't want you floating away or into the nearby planet.
... c. If you do float away, that violates rule #2!
7. And as always, if someone with magnetic material on them is pinned against you, start spinning.
... a. It's terribly fun to see them go up and over in a bunch of circles, only to be jerked by for another chevron.
... b. It always makes the locals scratch their heads.
After the Atlantis Stargate was done with his paper, he downloaded the file into his own buffers and politely asked Atlantis to broadcast the message, without disclosing their position. This action was immediately preceded by a tapping of the "Send" button on Sergeant Canada's laptop.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"Uh, Rodney… what's this?" Weir asked as she saw Atlantis quickly transmit something. McKay turned to look at the subspace map.
"I don't know… hold on a sec…" He quickly took a look at what was being broadcast. McKay's face turned puzzled.
"Rodney?" Elizabeth asked, worried.
"Yes? Oh well… it's not giving away our position, but… the content is… interesting."
"Yes…?" she prompted. She really needed to know if Atlantis was sending out a message to the Wraith again.
"It's a Guide."
Weir walked back to her office, closed the door, and started to howl with laughter.
Love it, hate it! I NEED TO KNOW! really, i do... i need input to see what i should tweak or not! its how i work!
besides, if you review, you get your name and a personalized answer! that's hard to get these days with voicemail y'know! thanks!