hello hello hello!!! sorry about the almost month long wait for this! really sorry... i had a wicked case of writers block which i hope i got over while writing this chapter...

anyway... we're almost back to Earth with the Guides!!! imagine that! lol, I hope that excites some of you out there! good...

atlantian - lol, i'm very glad you found it so funny! hmm... you have a secret hideout? cool... you mumble about dead caldwell...
flubber - god, i already answered most of your review (thank you for it!) but driver's ed went fine and i'm going to take my road test on Wednesday!
Celestial Pendant - oh dear... one from Jeannie would be really funny i think, maybe she could do it while on Earth! thanks for the idea!!!
stevewraith - hmm, gotta love pressing important buttons! i think its fun.. i dont know about you, but... i'm glad you enjoyed the chapter
nwfairy - snail mail, email, AND a tissue box!? you are a champion of SG-1! very nice work! and lol, yes, looking busy is a great thing!
nightpheonix - ha, well you didnt review! anyways, yeah, caldwell just might have a mutiny... i mean, its caldwell - who could resist?
Delka - what? the important buttons at work are off-limits? well thats no fun! lol... very happy you liked the chapter! thanks much!
fififolle - (grins) those guys are great, arent they? lol, yeah, work a little but look busy is a favorite of mine... not saying i do it... ;)
SilverRider - hey! havent seen you in a bit! as for the hero bit, everyone who tries too hard to be a hero gets hurt or dies.. almost like McKay
001ElvenWarrior - oh really? little bells eh? thats really cool! thanks! as for S3, its really good! a new SG "era"? that doesnt sound good... thanks!
Port-of-Seas - heh, me neither... they do a great job of looking busy, dont they? they're pros at it! thanks for reviewing! glad you liked it!
Reefgirl - i know... poor Kleinman, although "recently" he got to do a lot of stuff with caldwell, thats pretty good! woot! thanks for the review!!!

yay reviewers! boo non-reviewers! what happened to my reviewers??? have they been picked off one by one by the Atlantian sea monster!? (looks around) he can swim here?? if more of you review, i'll demand that he not eat you! thanks...

anyways... on to... (drum roll) chapter 23!

A man was idly standing around, waiting on their leader. He was fooled by the same trick that had worked on every race of people that had come through. With a quick nod of the head, the man was no more. A lovely new mine had gone off under his feet. Only then did Cowen appear – and he was smiling!

Kolya applauded himself and his team on a job well done. He didn't care what that sniveling fool Cowen thought, but he knew it was a great demonstration. The traitor had had no clue about the Genii and what they really were.

As Cowen came near, Kolya called a line-up and quickly his team was standing beside him in order of rank. They saluted their "leader." Kolya sneered after Cowen passed him. Suddenly, the man came back.

"Kolya, there is a communication for you inside your office. I suggest you go look at it," he said directly. To this, Kolya only nodded and walked off. What was this message? No one sent messages to him that Cowen would ever know about. Curious…

He reached his office and sat down at the crude computer station. This station was able to receive subspace communications – per his request. He needed to know about his offworld operations and this computer was his answer. He opened up the communication and read it through thoroughly. Kolya barked a sharp laughter – the races of the Pegasus Galaxy were doing something and it had all started at Atlantis.

God… Atlantis really ticked him off… so he decided to send back a warning.

OOO

The Genii Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy

1. Overtake the Atlantians.

... a. They are cunning and very smart, but they can be conquered.

... b. If they are conquered, it is a very rich investment.

... c. They've got a pretty sweet crib too…

2. Don't let a measly shoulder wound stop you!

... a. You're a wimp if you do!

3. Make no rain dates.

... a. Rain dates mess up plans.

... b. If you're going to do something nasty to another, put your heart and soul into it. Rain dates are for those who aren't committed.

... c. Besides, it won't kill you to get a little wet.

4. Haunt your enemies.

... a. Just when they think you're gone, show up at their doorstep with a hundred men and guns.

... b. Either that or kidnap him. Both ways work…

5. Always hold the upper hand.

... a. It's so much healthier for you – you don't have to do much work.

6. Expand your empire – even if your leader doesn't know it.

... a. This way, you can be ready for anything – including a coup.

... b. Besides, it's so much fun to rule the galaxy!

7. Be double-crossing.

... a. Be so double-crossing that you even cross yourself once or twice.

... b. It makes people SOOO confused if you do. If they're confused, you can take stuff!!

Kolya stretched triumphantly. This was a pretty good list of "warnings" to send off into space. Beware the Genii, it proclaimed. Bow to our awesome power. Kolya sat back and thought quickly… half the worlds in the Pegasus galaxy had a Genii presence, known or not. How easy would it be to overthrow Cowen?

The man grinned evilly and tapped his fingers together. First the home world, then Atlantis, and then the galaxy! And heck, then other galaxies! YES! Ultimate rule was within sight! Now, how to actually do all this was the question…

sooooooooooo... like it? hate it? what? i need to know!!! really i do... its how i get better at writing! FEEDBACK! feed me back seymour...