The last thing I said to him, or anyone would ever say to him was "You deserve to die."
It wasn't true. No one deserved to die at my hands, with no dignity. He was pleading for mercy begging me not to do it. And I guess Sam was right. I am a "heartless bitch."
For you see it all happened like this. I'd been going on my second year of hunting ghosts, I had advanced weapons it was so simple now. Sure the ghost boy, my enemy, had gotten strong but I had become more hateful and bitter. Nothing could stop me that night I had him cornered.
I grinned knowing he had no way out. He was weak from fighting a much greater foe than I. He was tired the rain was pouring hard down on us on that night, he didn't see me sneak up at first. It gave me plenty of time to weaken him further.
I remember him standing there panting with constricted breath his body leaned against the tree in exhaustion. I remember getting off my jet bored and standing there, taking pleasure in my coming victory. He looked so afraid so scared so tired. He looked me straight in the eyes as he struggled to hold himself up.
"Val..." He had said with labored breath. "Please don't do this. I didn't want you to know..."
I didn't even let him finish. "We're done talking ghost! I'm finishing this once and for all!"
"Valerie please believe me when I say it's me...it's Danny." It sounded like him, but I was stubborn and I screamed and snarled at him telling him he lied to me. He was tricking me.
"Even if you were Danny..." I didn't have a straight thought in my head. I growled instead. "You deserve to die!"
He didn't move. Why didn't he move? I wished he had moved. He was in pain and I made it worse, shooting him in the chest. I could never forget the scream it was loud and horrible. Then there was the transformation, those brilliant blue lights that switched him quickly into my dear friend.
"Danny?" I whispered to myself. Duh. He told me so himself...I just wished I had believed it. What was this grudge worth to me? All over a few material possesions lost. Look what I've done...
I thought the look in those blue eyes as he coughed up blood will forever haunt my dreams. I quickly deactivated my suit to expose my flesh to the cold rain that came down hard. His eyes followed me as he made choking gurgling sounds, I didn't realize the affect of my weapon on him. His chest heaved strenously and he held tightly to it trying to stop the pain. I could only imagine what it was doing, how it felt.
I kneeled beside him and was about to touch him as I slowly extended my arm. Maybe it could comfort him.
His eyes were falling shut his last word or what I'm pretty sure was "Why?"
I heard a shrill scream that stopped my hand in mid-air. "Don't you touch him!" Sam, the faithful companion. She knew what I had done, she my shame and my sin. "Keep away from him!" I don't know where she came from but she flew to his side and gathered his limp body in her arms.
He was long gone, but she held tight to him willing life back into him. I thought his eyes would never leave my memory but it was hers. Those beautiful violet eyes were filled with so much emotion and were overwhelmed by tears, I wasn't sure how much of her face was covered in tears and how much was rain.
I watched still unmoving from my outstretched hand position as I took in the sight. The strong independent girl was hugging Danny against her chest and rocking him back and forth while digging her face into his soaked raven hair. She beckoned to him spilling her emotions to the air. She was trying her hardest to call him back. But I think she already knew...
I killed Danny.
For how long we stayed like that I didn't know. Finally her sobbing ceased and an angry glare came to her. She clutched Danny close to her and stared at me.
"You heartless bitch! You killed him! I hope you're happy you murdered Danny!" She screamed, I knew she had a temper but the rage she had was overwhelming. "He'll never live and it's all you're fault!"
I've lived with this moment for five years, it plays over and over in my mind ripping me apart. Now two people are gone because of me. Sam committed suicide on her eighteenth birthday, and it was all my fault. I took Danny away, I took her reason to live. So she left a note and took a fatefull plunge off the edge, literally.
Tucker has no one now and it's all my fault, two families are missing children and it's all my fault. And every night I see amethyst eyes and sapphire eyes staring at me both have that look. I not only killed Danny that night, but I killed Sam too. That was the look, she had died on the inside.
To this day I don't know how I can even stand to live with myself. I feel as though I should die so as to at least try to make up for what I've taken so shamefully. So maybe those two would just leave me alone, those eyes those horrible eyes never seem to leave me.
But then I take my pills and Sam and Danny go away for a while...
It was a super bad day, so...yeah... I mean this is just brutal it's like angst wrapped in angst. But it's been really hard and stressful lately, so looks like I'm taking it out on my characters. so yeah this was inspired from Nine Inch Nails' song Head Like a Hole, hence the title.