I saw him again today, as I made my daily rounds in the park. I've found myself lately trying so hard to have accidental meetings with the him at all times. Because he no longer seems the same as I remember him so many years ago. I go to great lengths just to look at him from a far or say hello.

I saw Danny Fenton, my highschool love, in the park just. Playing with her daughter. She's the spitting image of him and her combined, she has his eyes, his hair, and his nose, she's simply precious. But she has her face, her lips, her skin tone, her ears. And I always find myself wishing she had my face, my lips,my skin tone, my build.

But she is not my daughter and Danny isn't my husband, they are all her's. I guess I shouldn't be so jealous because I had my chance, so many times with him. And I'm the genius who turned him away so many times. I've seen how he takes care of both of them, I wish he would be that gentle with me, with our child that will never be.

I should've known he'd be a brillant father, he was always so caring. He certainly demostrated his parenting skills in our Freshman year. I don't know why it sticks in my head so well, but I remember him keeping careful tabs on the floursack and treating it as real. Sure he was a little sarcastic and angry that he had so much work but he handled it well.

Now he has that beautiful daughter with her. And I'm killing myself watching them swing the little girl by her hands between them. She giggles and they smile at each other. She calls to him asking him to push her on the swing and he races right after the little girl with the most breath taking blue eyes and shinning ebony hair.

I should be over there sitting on the bench watching my family enjoy themselves, not her, I should be smiling at them not her. Maybe I'm being too hard on her, after all she still views me as a friend. They all view me as a friend. And I was the one who started this stupid competition anyway, I challenged her, and I thought I would win. But now that I think about it, maybe she deserved him she certaintly doesn't rub it in my face, she really loves him.

I guess I made my mistake with Danny senior year.

He came to me in strong confidence and told me he had something important to show me and asked me to understand. He explained that he loved me a lot, that he wanted me to know that, and then he told me to take a deep breath and just watch.

He was the ghost boy. He had stood there with those green eyes I loathed and smiled shyly, I knew he wanted me to understand. But stupid me I couldn't hold back and took out a gun and fired, he got away.

But we didn't talk for a year, and I knew he was heartbroken, I knew he was deeply hurt. And I know who saved his life from the depression.

And that's why she's Sam Fenton, caring mother and wife.

And I'm just Valerie Gray, the lonely woman watching from the bushes.

Yeah I thought about this a while ago while I watched Life Lessons, and it hasn't gone away since. I don't hate Valerie, but I don't like her.