Hey, sorry, here's the birthday thingy. Decided not to have a birthday like Murderface's in the eppy "birthdayface", cause too many characters... meh. Just didn't feel like it. It's a private celebrity birthday, so here it is.
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Joanna Myers, at the moment, was busy ignoring her sister.
She sat in her darkened room, headphones on, listening to Naglfar, one of her favorite death metal bands, out of Sweden. It was cranked to full blast.
Her bedroom looked a lot like a dungeon, minus the cold stone and the manacles. A black light in place of a regular lightbulb. Her walls were painted an annoying yellow color, but she had remedied that. Posters plastered every square inch. Her computer had been colored black by sharpie.
Hey. Death by sharpie. That was a kickass song title. Maybe she's message Naetasha and give it to her.
Speaking of her best friend... what had Nathan Explosion meant by "expect a hatredcopter"??? This mystified her to no end.
"Turn that down! I know you can hear me!!"
Jo responded by cranking her music so loud it literally hurt her ears. Ahh. Much better. Now nothing but the sweet bliss of screaming. NOT her sister's. She took a long swig of her favorite cup of hot chocolate and was just getting ready to get something to eat when rough hands grabbed the back of her chair.
Expecting her moron sister, she came face to face with a man in a black helmet.
"Hey, what the fuck? Who are you??" she demanded. She had spilled her hot chocolate all over herself and the rug was stained. Fuck.
"I have express orders to pick you up. You are Joanna Myers?" he asked., His voice was muffled and sounded a bit robotic because of the mask. It was like a jet fighter's mask. Creepy.
"Yeah, who're you?" she demanded.
The man grabbed her by the upper arm.
"Hey! Let go of me you twat! Get the fuck off of me!" she demanded, enraged that anyone would dare manhandle her. To her surprise, she didn't need to knee the man in the balls.
He let go of her and motioned towards the door. She saw the Dethklok logo on his gloves. That more than anything calmed her down somewhat.
"Nathan Explosion invited you to Mordhaus for one day only, to celebrate someone's birthday. Come with me," he explained.
Oh. my. God. Mordhaus? One day? Free access? Nathan Explosion? DETHKLOK?
She didn't know what stopped her from jumping up and down and peeing herself, but she managed not to.
She loved that rebel goth girl Nate more than ever right then. She was going to meet Dethklok!
She flipped her sister the bird on her way out the bedroom, passed her mother in the living room.
"Where ya going, hioney?" she asked, not looking away from the tv screen.
"Seeya, mom. Going to Mordhaus for the day. Be back whenever," she replied offhandedly, like it was no biggy.
Her mother shut the tv off and stared at her and the hatredcopter pilot.
"Absolutely not! Not by yourself! What if they do something to you??" she demanded, suddenly focused.
"I'm not alone. I got this guy. He's flying the chopper," she replied sarcastically and with that, she hurried the guy out the door before her mother got any last words in.
"YES!!" she cheered, once she stepped out ansd saw the Hatredcopter sitting in the middle of the street. There was a line of cars honking angrily at the larger-than-130ft tall and 350ft long Hatredcopter. Jo cheerfully flipped them the bird and followed the pilot on baord.
Her jaw fell. This place... was awesome. A jacuzi, a huge upstairs fireplace, couches... she could spend the whole trip in here alone.
She asked the pilot if she could use the jacuzi. He nodded and told her no clothes then handed her a towel.
Brutal.
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"Alright, is everyone ready? Here he comes! Everyone hide!" Nathan tried whispering, but it just came out sounding like a hushed version of his usual voice.
They all hid, Nate included and Charles Ofdensen got the lights.
"Heys? Whys it so dark ins heres? Wheres de lights?" came the sound of Toki's voice.
Charles flipped the lights back on and the band all jumped out from their hiding places.
"SURPRISE!"
Toki's eyes went wide and his body went rigid. He fell on his back.
"Ah. Crap," said Nathan.
They all approached the fallen guitarist. Nathan nudged him with his shoe.
"Diabetic coma. Damn it," he growled.
It seemed they had surprised him a little too much.
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The trip had taken forever.
After climbing out of the jacuzi and toweling herself dry, she had redressed and lay lounging in the seat in front of the fireplace upstairs. She remembered she hadn't gotten Nate anything for her birthday yet.
"Shit," she said bleakly.
She pressed a button near an intercom system near he head and said "uh,... hello?"
There was a pause, then the pilot's muffled voice came through.
"What is it," he said.
"Uhh, I forgot to get my friend anything for her birthday. Cold we stop somewhere so I could buy her something totally awesome?" she asked.
There was an even longer pause here.
"Nathan says sure, but, and I quote, hurry your ass up or they ain't waiting," said the pilot.
"I'll stop in DC."
Great. stopping someplace she had never been and expecting her to "make it quick".
Seconds later, she felt the copter begin to descend. She looked out the window and saw what looked like a museum and a ton of narrow insanely crowded streets.
The copter landed on top of the building (it could hold all that weight??) and the hatch opened.
Quick as she could, she ran to the door on the roof and opened it. The walkway was cooled with air conditioning and the stairs we reslick with what felt like wax. She had to be careful so she didn't slip.
Getting to the bottom, she discovered that she was on wha tlooked like the second floor of the museum. Dinosaur exhibits, caveman exhibits, science and rock formation exhibits. Where the hell was the gift shop in this place?
She spotted it a few exhibits down and, dodging and pushing past everyone she could, she hurried in.
This place was amazing. She didn't even have time to get used to the unfamiliar faces and accents.
There were boxes and boxes of model dinosaur kits, souvenir cups, towels, plushies... what on earth in here would make her friend happy?
Well... she is kind of a random nerd, like me... maybe a model raptor? she thought, examining the boxes. According the the display, the could move, made sounds and were about as big as a model jetplane.
She decided on one of the velociraptors. She thought it was cool, anyway.
She payed for it at the desk and was faintly embarassed when the clerk saw her british money. To her surprise, however, he took it, changed it and handed her her change back.
"American or English?" she asked.
"Well, I s'pose I'm in America, aren't I? American," she replied waspishly. She was afraid the man who piloted the Hatredcopter would leave without her.
The clerk threw the toy into a gift bag and thrust her change at her and she pocketed it, not liking the feel of the somehow clothy bills.
She hurried back up to the stairs to the roof but found her way blocked by a man in a police uniform.
"You can't go up here, missy," he said sternly.
She was starting to get panicky.
"You have to, the Hatredcopter's up there, they gotta take me to Mordhaus!" she demanded.
The man laughed.
Annoyed, she shoved past him and ran as fast as she could up the stairs, slipping as she went.
"Hey! Someone stop her!"
She broke out into the sunlight and ran to the copter, which was still going. Behind her she ehard the sound of running footsteps.
She dove for the hatch and waved goodbye at the incensed security guard as he stared up and up and up at the top of the hatredcopter, his jaw slack.
"BYE JACKASS!" she called.
The Hatredcopter took off.
America was great.
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Nathan was getting impatient. Where the hell was the Hatredcopter?
On the floor, Toki was being revived (hot whisky with a splash of something Nate swore up and down was honey, but he thought otherwise), Nathan dialed the number of the pilot.
"Yeah, where the hell are you?" he demanded, annoyed.
"My lord, we are almost there now, " said the pilot.
"Well hurry it up, I wanna start drinking," he complained. He hung up. He wasn't really going to drink as much as he had the night Nate had to drive them home, but enough to get tipsy. He had just wanted an excuse for the pilot to hurry it up.
"Who were you talking to?" asked Murderface interestedly.
"The pilot," he said quietly. Toki was coming around and Nate was watching them.
"Oooooohhhhhh," said Murderface, realization dawning on him.
Twenty minutes later...
Nathan met Joanna Myers outside where they usually parked all the Hatredcopters, the biggest one used for transporting the band and the slightly smaller ones used for everything else. She was a little shorter than even Nate was, cropped black hair, brown eyes, glasses, a bit pudgy and all in goth clothes bought exclusively from what looked like a hot topic. She was carrying a plastic bag and had a stain down the front of her shirt.
"Hey," he greeeted her gruffly.
She grinned and shook his hand, although he never offered it. She was getting on his nerves already.
"C'mon, it's, This way," he said haltingly, and he expected her to follow him.
She wouldn't shut up the entire time. And her accent was so wierd! Or maybe he was just used to Skwisgaar and Toki's accents.
On the way down the hallway leading to the room where he would store his "present" for his girlfriend, he stopped her and grabbed any random shirt off his bedroom floor, since hers was stained with something. She could do what she wanted with it, he honestly didn't give a fuck.
She looked surprised when he threw it at her.
She changed while his back was turned, tucking her stained shirt into her plastic bag. She was wearing Nathan Explosion's shirt. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Happy happy happy days! She would never wash this, never sell it ever!!!!
He led her to an empty room with a rectangular table and tall gothic style windows. The chairs were amazing, all spiked and shaped like ax blades.
"Wait here," he said, and he shut the door on her.
He left her and went into the main room again.
"Now for Naetasha's gift and. Stuff. Yeah," said Nathan to everyone.
"COME ON OUT HERE!" he yelled towards the other room.
There was the shutting of a door somewhere around the corner and someone stepped out into the room.
Two jaws fell at once. Four sets of eyes went wide.
They screamed as one and rushed at each other, clotheslining each other in a stranglehug.
God. I hope she never hugs me like that, thought Nathan, but no sooner than this thought crossed his mind, he was tackled.
"Thank you!!" she cried.
He awkwardly patted the top of his girlfriend's head and begged her to stop crushing his ribs.
She let go of him and she was smiling wider than he had ever seen her smile. The change it made on her face was surprising. Like she was someone else. She looked a hell of a lot younger than 21 and she was... beautiful. There was no other word for it.
He smiled back.
"Happy birthday!" called Skwisgaar, and he gave her a hug.
"Thanks," she said, her face turning scarlet.
"Dude, dat was your gift? Dat sucks!" said Pickles to Skwisgaar.
"Whats? I was means to hers before," he said, shrugging.
"I don't care, you guys are awesome," said Nate.
She grinned at Joanna and they hugged again.
"I tinks dey are lezz," whispered Skwisgaar.
He had a blade at his throat so ast Nathan didn't see it. Nate didn't look so happy at the moment. She looked pissed.
"We're. Friends," she growled.
She sheathed her sword and unbuckled it, throwing it on a nearby couch.
"Oh wow, I can't believe I'm in Mordhaus."
"I know, isn't it brutal? This place is awesome, dude you should see my room," said Nate.
"Womens. Pfft," whispered Skwisgaar.
"Let them have fun," growled Nathan, punching Skwisgaar on the arm.
"Ouch!" he cried.
"Nates? Oh, dere you ares. Hey, it's your birthdays toos? Woooweee, I didn'ts knows dat!" said Toki. He had finally woken up.
"Hi Toki," said Joanna shyly.
"Hi Joannas!" he replied, waving.
"How'd you know her name was Joanna?" asked Nathan dully.
"Easy. Nates talks abouts her all de times," he replied.
As Toki offered to take Joanna on a tour (with Nate) Nate turned back and kissed his cheek.
"This is the best birthday gift ever. Thanks. Really," she said.
Nathan was surprised to see a tear in her eye.
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PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!