Another Teen Pregnancy
By GreyPenInk
AUTHOR'S NOTE! NOT AN UPDATE! AUTHOR'S NOTE!
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Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or any of the characters! I have no money so please don't sue me! (I only own the doctors)
Warning: LxRaito. MPREG. Rated M for adult content, death, dark themes, violence, nudity and language.
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Author Note: I just got Death Note #13: How to Read. Seriously what other anime or manga series needs a manual other than DN? Rhetorical question.
Anyway now that I have it I can be sure of the DATES of the things that happened in DN. Raito-Chan's started his captivity on Tuesday June 1st 2004. I have it starting on Friday June 4th and I'm not changing it. I already spent so much time trying to figure out when Raito was locked up and I feel I got pretty damn close so the story stays as is! Plus this makes Raito get out of captivity on almost the right day. In DN he spent 53 days in the cell, it started on the 1st and he got out on Friday July 23rd. In my story he spent 50 days in the cell while starting on the 4th and ending on Saturday July 24th. So 'YAHA!' to me.
Oh and I know that in DN the investigation team didn't move into L's built HQ until the first of August and in my story L and Raito-Chan are their from the start but please just let that slide. I honestly didn't want to write about shifting from hotel to hotel to permanent HQ.
Moving on, in DN Yotsuba's stock rise was discovered by Raito on Friday October 1st, Soichiro/Mogi/Matsuda quit the NPA on Saturday October 2nd, and Kyosuke Higuchi aka third-Kira is caught and killed on Thursday October 28th.
I know I have the first two very off in my story but I'm not changing them. I wanted Raito further along before they found Yotsuba and I didn't know the NPA rejected the Kira case the next day. Thus the four days gap in the time between Yotsuba becoming suspicious and NPA with drawl. Oops. (Isn't that just so convenient for DN creator Tsugumi Ohba?)
Anyway I really couldn't see L objecting to trustworthy civilian (Soichiro, Mogi & Matsuda) help for the Kira case unless he's covering his own ass and his own misdeeds. Hence why L got rid of the investigation team after he found out Raito-Chan is knocked-up.
Beyond that as to when L will face down third-Kira Higuchi I'm not sure. But I do want it further along and closer to Raito-Chan's due date. In my story L is honestly worried about tangling with third-Kira and the supernatural repercussions that could hit him, Raito and the baby, so he doesn't want to get too close too fast.
Um what else… Oh yes, I know it's trite by now but: the sole purpose of this story was to even the mpreg odds between L and Raito.
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Now with all that settled I just wanted to thank a few people:
Twilightpath: Thank you so much for your kind words, I appreciate them greatly. I'm glad you like the story and yes you're right Raito-Chan took it the wrong way in part 4.
Ayuni: I'm glad you liked that part. I was afraid it was poorly executed. Anyway thank you for your comments and I wish you better luck with your night reading.
CelticAngelWings: I promise to do all changes in bold, though I hereby claim the right to change this story and any parts at any time.
Imcannedfruit: Thank you for noticing. Yes the "sweet sweetness" will be a running thing throughout the story, kind of like L's version of "oh my god" or just an expression to show he's knocked off balance somehow. I use it because I just can't picture L being anything but an agnostic and saying things like, "Oh lordy lord me oh my."
Quaero Lumen: I had an absolute ball reading your review. I loved that you really shared your POV. I love doe-eyed Raito-Chan too! Yet I don't see Raito as sweet. Cute yes. Sweet no. He's just not mean or evil. To me there is a big difference between being sweet or being a normal-level of polite/civil/decent or being vulnerable and in need of comfort.
On the L front, I can't see him as cute, innocent or submissive. To me L is bold, tough, clever, controlling, persistent as hell, knowledgeable and a bit immature.
As for the whole Raito getting the notebook again…. Well you've really given me something to think about.
I also am really thankful for your comments on the doctors (Dr. UglyAssClosetPervert LOL!) It's good to find out what readers notice about OCs, it helps me keep them normal.
And a special shout out to Kitty!!
I can't thank you enough! Truly, from the bottom of my heart your critique was what I wanted. When I write my mind kind of gets sucked into it's own little world. Getting someone else's POV helps keep me grounded and allows me to see what is actually coming across to the readers.
Oh and you're right I am aware of the switching between tenses and all I can say is sorry. When I'm writing my story I go over the content over and over again until it's as good as it is going to get. The grammar, aside from not being my strong suit, just kind of auto-corrects in my head by the time I read it over for tense problems. I can't promise I'll improve but I will work on that in the future.
As for the use of nicknames, thank you for pointing that out! I really hadn't noticed that and you're right, it's very annoying! I'll work on that too.
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THIS AUTHOR NOTE WILL BE REPLACED WITH PART SIX WHEN IT IS READY. Thank you for reading.
-GreyPenInk