Chapter Twenty-Five: News That's Hard to Break
First Lieutenant William "Willis" Hawk stared bleary-eyed at the alarm, which was buzzing next to his bunk. Sticking his head out from under the covers, he muttered some incoherent curses as he stretched his arm to silence the awful noise. Though he'd gone to bed early, exhausted from a long day's training session, the extra sleep hadn't seemed to help much. His eyes hurt just as much as always when he rubbed them.
He slowly rolled out of bed, pausing occasionally to stretch or yawn, and headed for the showers. Lieutenant Hawk noticed that the others seemed to almost…avoid him, though he couldn't figure out why. After all, it had already been a couple of days since he'd come back to base so drunk he'd puked on Hinders, who'd been sleeping soundly in his bunk. Willis decided the feeling must be his imagination and he shrugged it off.
After Willis had returned to his quarters, shaved and dressed, he realized that the other pilots in the squadron continued to avert their eyes. Finally fed up, Willis stopped Lieutenant Jessica Meyers, who happened to be walking down the hall at the time.
"Hey, Jessie," Willis said casually, giving her a friendly smile.
"Hi, Willis," Lieutenant Meyers replied, trying desperately to avoid eye contact.
"Listen, this is going to sound weird but…I kinda have the feeling everyone's purposely steering clear of me. Now tell me the truth, Meyers. Did I do something else while I was drunk that night or---"
Willis stopped mid-sentence as he realized Jessica suddenly had tears in her eyes. She put a hand to her mouth and shook her head.
"Jessie? What's wrong?" Hawk asked, worried about his friend and fellow squadron pilot.
"Ask Brandon, Hawk. I…I can't do this to you!" And with that, Meyers rushed down the hall.
Utterly perplexed, Willis decided he'd obey Jessica's request and go look for his wingmate. He wanted to get answers about everyone's odd behavior as soon as possible.
First things first, however; he realized he'd forgotten some important stuff in his quarters, stuff he never went anywhere without. Jogging back down the hall, he opened the door to his quarters to find Lieutenant Heat sitting on his bunk, holding the two items Willis had come back for.
"Hey, Brandon. What're you doing here, man?" Hawk asked, grinning.
It was one of the things everyone loved about Willis Hawk: he was always smiling, always optimistic, always cheerful.
Brandon Heat knew he was about to change not only his best friend's attitude and outlook on life, but his very self.
One of the other things the whole squadron knew and admired about Hawk was his fierce love for his family, most notably his wife and his son. Lieutenant Heat was about to shatter his poor buddy's entire world.
"Brandon? What the hell is going on today? No one will even look in my direction, and now you're not talking to me, either?" Willis sighed in frustration. "Will you at least tell me what I've done? Please?"
Brandon looked down at the floor, shaking his head because his lips refused to form the words that would devastate his friend.
"Oh, come on!" Willis cried. He pulled up a chair and sat directly across from Lieutenant Heat. "Brandon, we've only got a half hour before training starts, and I haven't had breakfast. And would you please tell me why the hell you're staring at my two pictures? You know those are supposed to be in the cockpit of my bird."
Heat didn't answer, but instead continued looking at the two photos Willis always flew into combat with: one of his son, Gabriel, the other of him and his wife, Natalie Cooper. Of course, now that she was dead, the pictures would take on renewed importance. "Trust me, you're not going to want to eat, anyway," Heat said quietly.
"What? Why not? I'm starved."
Brandon finally looked up to see the confused expression on Hawk's face.
"Willis, how the hell do I tell you this---?" Brandon began, looking away.
"Just say it, Brandon. What did I do?"
"Oh, God…it's nothing you did, Willis…"
"Then what's everyone's problem today? Jessica nearly broke into tears when I said hi!"
"Listen to me, Willis," Heat said, turning to face his friend again.
"I'm all ears."
"Last night after you sacked out, the rest of us hung out in the rec room. You know, like we always do."
"Yeah…" Willis had no idea where this conversation was going.
"Well, you know I never watch the news. And you also know why." Crap, I really don't want to do this to him, Brandon thought. Because I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of news like this.
"Look, Brandon, just tell me already. I'm sick of this beating around the bush and I want to get to the mess on time."
Lieutenant Heat sighed audibly and kept his voice level. "Sigma Octanus Four was invaded by the Covenant yesterday, Willis. They glassed the planet from orbit."
For a moment, Lieutenant Hawk simply stared, dumbfounded, at his wingmate.
"Willis, I'm so sorry, man, I'm so sorry…" Brandon said, repeating himself in what seemed like an endless cycle.
"Oh, my God," was the first thing Willis said when he regained speech. "N-Natalie is…is de---" The word caught in his throat, and he couldn't finish.
"I know, man, I know it's hard to believe, how awful it is to hear. I wish this weren't happening, Willis, I really do."
"No, the reports must be wrong. She can't be…she wouldn't get herself ki---" Willis had to stop again, and it was tearing Brandon apart to watch his friend suffer in front of him. "What about Gabe?"
"He's in St. Louis, Willis, remember? Maybe you can get a couple days' leave to see him, he's just across the pond…" Heat said softly.
"That's not what I meant. She wouldn't leave him. I know she wouldn't…"
"She didn't have a choice, buddy, she didn't even have time to fight. The planet was---"
"I got it the first time, Brandon, and I don't want to hear it again," Willis said quietly. When he looked up to face Heat, Brandon could see tears glistening in his buddy's eyes. "God," Hawk said with a feeble chuckle. "I would have avoided me today, too."
"Christ, Willis, I really am sorry. I know what you're going through and it kills me."
"I know how rough it was for you to lose two girlfriends, Heat, but…she's the mother of my child, Brandon. My wife. What am I going to do without her? What am I going to tell our son?"
"I don't know, man, I don't…"
"She's…my life. Her and Gabriel. I can't---" Willis choked on the words and struggled to keep his tears from falling.
"Listen, Willis, I'm going to go to the CO's office for you, all right? I'll explain what happened, and I'll see if I can get him to grant a request for you to go visit Gabe, ok?"
Willis simply nodded, unable to say anything for fear of losing what little self-control he had left.
"I'm really sorry, Willis," Brandon repeated as he walked out the door, placing the two photos on Hawk's bunk.
Burying his face in his hands, Willis didn't reply.