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Chapter Thirty-Eight: Influential Conversation
1724 Hours, February 27, 2552. UNSC Roosevelt Air Base, Skagen, Denmark. "The Struggle," Planet Earth. Day Twelve of the Battle of Sigma Octanus IV
Lieutenant Willis Hawk couldn't fathom how he'd made it nearly two weeks knowing she was gone.
He had replayed key parts of their lives together in his head, wondering what he could've done or said differently. She was only twenty-four years old; surely, he must have done something wrong if she'd been taken from him so young.
As much as Hawk wanted to see his son in the days following the news, he feared the meeting. He wasn't sure how he himself would react, let alone his small child. And besides, what could you say to a toddler who had lost a mother he'd probably never remember?
That was probably what tore at Willis the most. When Gabriel grew older, he wouldn't remember the mother who, despite being far, loved him so much. He wouldn't be able to experience or have the memories of spending time with Natalie. The whole situation just wasn't fair.
Dreams of their life after the war were now shattered: settling down someplace quiet with their son, having more children, using their combined science and mathematics degrees to start a business building colony ships. Everything had happened so damn fast, and Willis just couldn't stand it. One life, taken away in an instant, had suddenly changed his entire world.
"Willis?"
Hawk snapped out of his despair and looked up. He saw Lieutenant Brandon Heat, his best friend, standing in front of him.
"How long have you been here?" Willis asked, his voice scratchy and low.
"Just walked in. Had to call your name a few times before you answered, though," Brandon replied. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked his buddy in the eyes. "I'm going to say this once more, Willis. Intense scrutiny of your life isn't going to help you, and it's not going to bring her back. You can drive yourself crazy all you want, but then it'll only be your son that suffers."
The words seemed to strike a chord in Willis. He ran his hands over his face and slowly nodded. "I know, Brandon. You're right." As much as he wanted to let go and give in to the pain, just fucking cry, Hawk resolved to remain strong. He may have lost Natalie, but he still had his son. And Gabe needed him now, more than ever.
"I spoke with Captain Dakota, Willis," Lieutenant Heat said. "He's, uh, he's denied your request, buddy."
Lieutenant Hawk looked up, suddenly looking more alert than he had in days. "What?"
"I'm sorry, Willis. The bastard's not going to let you see your kid, man."
Willis stood, suddenly feeling like he had a purpose again, a mission. "The fuck he isn't."
"Whatever you do, man, please don't deck the guy. That'll cause a big shit storm you don't need right now."
"You know my rules of engagement, Brandon. Don't worry," Willis replied as he stepped past his friend.
"Yeah, I know. I just wasn't sure you were still employing them," Lieutenant Heat said after him. Hawk had a policy of using brains and words over fists and brawn. It was only when someone he loved was in immediate danger that he used force. Even then, he wasn't into the whole causing-people-pain thing. He just wanted him and his family left alone.
Good luck, buddy, Lieutenant Heat thought to himself.
Meanwhile, Willis had already reached the end of the hall. A few more corners to turn and he'd be in front of Captain Jason Dakota's office. The man wasn't a bad commander, Hawk reasoned. He wasn't even heartless or cruel. So why wouldn't he let one of his pilots take some leave that would last a day roundtrip, tops? If it was using one of the orbital fighter jets that was a problem, Hawk would be more than happy to take civilian transport.
Finally reaching the door to the company commander's office, Willis drummed his fingers on the door. After a few moments of silence, he wondered why there wasn't an answer.
"Would you like to see Captain Dakota, sir?" a voice said behind him. Willis turned to find a young female sergeant giving him a courteous smile.
"Yes, I would," Hawk replied. "Notify him that Lieutenant Hawk is here, Sergeant."
"Yes, sir." The aide snapped to and moved towards the office. She rapped her knuckles on the commander's door, then walked in. Willis waited outside, strangely calm as he thought of what he would say to Captain Dakota. My wife is dead, and my son needs me. And if you say no, you can shove that answer up your---
"Go ahead, sir. The captain will see you," the aide said, emerging from the room.
"Thank you, Sergeant," Lieutenant Hawk said, and he entered Captain Dakota's office.
Saluting in front of the captain, Hawk stood at rigid attention and announced, "Sir! Lieutenant Hawk requesting permission to speak, sir."
"At ease. No need to explain, son. Lieutenant Brandon Heat has informed me of your situation. I offer my sincerest apologies for your loss, Lieutenant," Captain Dakota said as he looked at the young officer standing before him.
Willis relaxed his posture at the order. He still had to take a deep breath before he could respond, though. "Then why have you refused my request, sir?"
The captain heaved a sigh. "There's a lot of shit that's been hitting the fan recently, son. Hell, we've just had to move the entire project to another planetary system. Do you have any idea what such a change entails?"
Hawk was torn between holding his tongue and giving his superior officer a verbal lashing. Eventually, he managed to settle on something that he hoped fit in the middle. "All due respect, sir, but do you have any idea what it's like for someone to lose his wife?"
Captain Dakota looked Willis dead in the eyes, and the lieutenant had the feeling that he'd just broken some unspoken taboo. "Yes, Hawk. As a matter of fact, I do."
Swallowing hard, Willis looked down at his combat boots before glancing up again. "Well, then, you should know better than anyone that I could care less about the project right now. Sir."
Lieutenant Hawk waited to be chewed out with no mercy.
The captain stared at him with a look that could have stopped a Hunter dead in its tracks. Finally, however, Dakota's eyes softened. The older man pinched the bridge of his nose and replied, "You've always been an exemplary officer, William."
Hawk's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "T-thank you, sir."
"Dammit, kid, you're one of the best pilots I've seen in years. And besides all that, I'm running out of reasons why I should keep you here."
"Sir, I---" Willis began, but the captain stopped him.
"Son, you'd better pipe down and listen, before I change my mind."
Willis opened his mouth to say, "Yes, sir." He quickly shut it, however, when he remembered what Captain Dakota had said. So, he simply remained silent.
"We need you here, Hawk," the captain said without preamble.
"I can't believe this," Willis said, unable to keep a hint of anger from his voice. He thought Dakota had finally relented, and instead he was trying to convince the lieutenant to stay.
"Lieutenant Hawk, you are this close to insubordination. I suggest you learn to tight-rope better before walking that thin line."
"I need to see my son, sir." Willis articulated the words slowly and clearly, so the captain knew how serious he was.
"You didn't let me finish," Captain Dakota hissed. The older officer took a calming breath and sighed. Returning his attention to Hawk, he spoke again. "What I was going to say, Lieutenant, is that as much as we need you here, I realize what a difficult time this is for your family---and your young child in particular. Losing a mother is never easy."
Willis felt his eyes beginning to sting. Still, he maintained his composure in front of the captain.
"I'm going to give you three days, William, and that is it. You can take them all at once, or you can use them at your own discretion---provided there is no immediate threat. Do I make myself clear, Lieutenant?"
"Yes, sir!" Willis said, his vision suddenly clouded by tears.
"Good. If you choose to leave now and take all three days, I expect you back at 1730 hours on Thursday. Dismissed."
Lieutenant Willis Hawk saluted and performed a parade ground about face. Wiping his eyes and swallowing hard so that his tears didn't fall, the young officer started for his quarters. He had to pack, because he was finally going to visit his kid.
Walking briskly down the hall, Willis realized that Gabriel was the only part of his wife he had left.