Intense
—passionate in emotion, thought, or activity; occurring or existing in a high degree; very strong, violent, extreme, sharp, vivid, etc.—
Disclaimer: I don't own House, M.D. and no copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 2: Anniversary
The third time Cameron exited the room abruptly and came back with suspiciously dark eyelashes, Foreman gave him an eloquent look over their unconscious patient. "What do you suppose is the big deal? It can't be House."
"How would I know?" Chase retorted. "It's none of our business. Just leave her alone."
"What's wrong with you these days?" Foreman looked at him with some antipathy. "I thought you got along well with her, so why have you been avoiding Cameron all week? You won't even talk about her, you stopped asking how her dates with House are, and now you're being…" He paused, searching for the right word.
"I haven't been avoiding her," Chase cut in. Before he could say more, Cameron gestured to them through the window and he followed Foreman out the door. Since Cameron was with them as they walked to the conference room, it effectively ended the conversation, but not to Foreman's satisfaction. The looks he kept on giving Chase were proof enough of that.
"Well?" House demanded when they were sitting at the table. He tossed the whiteboard marker up and down, flipping it through the air. "Extensive epidermal nodules with umbilications. She also has facial lesions."
"He," Cameron interrupted. House looked down at the chart in mock surprise. Chase always suspected that House knew full well the patient's gender, name, and even age, but just pretended ignorance to aggravate Cameron. Then again, he could be wrong. "His name is Henry Mallory, thirty two years old."
"Yeah, you can invite him to your birthday party next year," House said absently. "Facial lesions – you've tested for HIV infection. Did the results come back yet?"
"He's HIV positive," Cameron said. "Severely immunologically compromised."
"It could be molluscum contagiosum," Chase offered, having already secretly studied it.
Foreman's eyebrows shot up. "That was quick. And probably wrong. A poxvirus?"
"Chase's right. MC fits the symptoms, but other life-threatening opportunistic infections might mimic MC. Histoplasmosis, aspergillosis, cutaneous cryptococcosis," Cameron listed, clearly in her forte.
Chase looked at her with eyebrows raised, unintentionally mirroring Foreman's earlier expression, and she rolled her eyes. "Hey, you aren't the only one who went to medical school, you know. I had MC as one of my third-year projects."
"But he reported no sexual partners for the last year. This guy isn't getting any action and MC is usually transmitted sexually. It's classified as an STD for adults," Foreman protested.
"For healthy adults, yeah," Cameron replied. "Our patient's immunocompromised. He could've got it in nonsexual skin-to-skin contact with someone infected."
"You can't take it just on his word, either," Chase pointed out. "If he got it from some girl on the streets, he isn't likely to want to talk about that."
Cameron sighed at his matter-of-fact tone, but she couldn't really say anything to Chase for stating what they'd all been thinking.
House watched them toss a few ideas back and forth for another minute or so before he threw the marker at Chase. It missed his head by a few inches and only because Chase happened to bend forward.
"Hey! What was that for?"
"Oops, sorry, slipped out of my fingers," House said, unconcerned despite the glare he was getting from his intensivist. "Go do a skin biopsy or squash preparation, your choice."
"Cameron's the immunologist," Foreman said. He ignored the glare Chase gave him at his words.
"What are you guys, the Scooby Gang?" House sighed. "Fine, she can tag along. That means you get to inform good ol' Harry that he's HIV positive."
"Henry," Cameron corrected without missing a beat. To his credit, Foreman didn't balk that much, though Chase sent him a smirk for his backfired plan. The three filed out of the room as House sat in his chair and watched them go.
"Surprise, surprise," he said to Wilson a few minutes later when the man walked in, no doubt to escape one of Cuddy's tirades. "Chase's got a thing for Cameron."
"You just noticed now?" Wilson laughed. "They do say that love blinds."
xxxxx
"What do you want, skin biopsy or squash preparation? Aka histology or microscopes?" Chase asked, rather reluctantly looking at Cameron. Foreman must be laughing his head off at him right now, after that talk. Some of his irritation faded, however, when he saw that Cameron's eyes really were red.
"Get the supplies for a squash prep, will you?" she said. "I'll go take the sample. Be right back."
Nothing wrong showed in her demeanor. Foreman was right, Chase decided as he waited in the lab. Cameron was happy with House, much to his displeasure, so whatever it was, it didn't involve her relationship. He didn't want to press it just yet, though. They hadn't had a single actual conversation for the last week, after all. He wondered if Cameron had even noticed.
"You can do the honors," he said when she returned, and watched as she manually extracted the cellular material contained in the center pit of the epidermal nodules. The cellular exudate from the umbilication was then carefully flattened between two microscope slides and stained. Everything was done precisely and perfectly. When she was done, Cameron gestured at him to look at the prepared slide.
"Henderson-Paterson bodies," he said after a moment. "It's definitely MC. Do you want to check?"
He moved a little to the side and Cameron leaned down to look, her bangs falling in front of her face. Without thinking about it, he reached forward and smoothed it behind her ear. It was so natural somehow that Cameron didn't even notice, intent on the slide, though Chase shocked himself a bit.
"We'll need to take an aggressive surgical approach to this and prescribe a few topical agents, based on his severe immunosuppression," Cameron said. "What do you know about the HAART therapy?"
"Not much, unfortunately. It restores immune competence by raising the CD4 cell count. Can we use it on HIV positive patients?"
"We'll have to consult House or look it up," she decided.
"All right then. It's good to know its MC and not something even more serious. The poor guy has it bad enough, finding out he's infected with HIV." Chase thought about all the things that would readily attack an immune system so weakened and winced. Life for Henry Mallory would never be quite the same again.
"We still have to find out how he got it," Cameron pointed out. "He could have been lying about the sexual partners, but once he realizes how serious he is, maybe he'll start talking. Besides, they need to know he tested positive for HIV."
"You know who House likes to use to get the patient histories," Chase grinned as they walked back to report their findings to House. Some of the pressure off now that the patient's disease was pinpointed. "Have fun listening to all the juicy details of his love life, Cameron. How long did it take you for that last patient a couple of days ago? Two, three hours?"
She gave him a dirty look and he just laughed.
xxxxx
There was something different about Cameron that shone and attracted others to her like moths to a flame. He'd noticed that she was special, but he hadn't realized how much so until he'd thought about it. Above all, Chase was touched by her obvious empathy with the patients. As an intensivist, he knew what it was like to suffer just as the patient's family was suffering. He understood the doctor's role to ease their pain by somehow sharing it.
It drained you, left you with nightmares at night about the people you couldn't save. The expression on the ones left behind, when you first broke the news to them – that was something that stayed with you forever. Not the individual faces, but the expression itself, which never changed. That look in their eyes, the utter devastation written on their faces when they just begin to comprehend how much they've just lost.
But Cameron handled it all, she didn't shy away from the emotional ties that came with the nature of the work they did, she didn't cheat the patients or their families and loved ones by downplaying their feelings. Most other doctors thought that her kind heart was a weakness and scorned her for not yet having become numbed to it. They resented her precisely because she persevered in her kindness, no matter the personal cost, and in some ways, they hated her because she did what they weren't willing to do.
Cameron gave herself over the each and every patient – not just her professional dedication, but also her heart. That was exactly what was so incredible and one of the reasons why Chase had to admit to himself that he was fascinated with her. Even though she would have been the first to admit that she wasn't close to him, he felt like sometimes she was the closest he was to anyone, on some level he didn't even understand himself.
"Who are you thinking about?" The unexpected sound of Foreman's voice almost right behind him made Chase start.
"No one," he answered coolly, turning back to the computer screen. They were technically on break, but he wanted to check up on something anyway. "HAART therapy," he murmured. "Here it is." He clicked on the link before looking up at Foreman, who hadn't moved. "Why?"
"You have this soft smile on your face, kind of like—"
"Like something sickening," House finished, entering the room. "Why are you two here, doing nothing? Aren't there patients to see to, people to cure? Chase!"
"What?" He tried to suppress a sigh, certain that House would appoint him the most revolting of the patients, as usual. Or make him do some other mindless research, like looking up some obscure disease out of some thousand possibilities.
"Dr. Cameron can use some help with the patient's family. She's in Exam Room Two."
Well, now, that wasn't too bad, though he would've preferred not having to work with Cameron too much. He tended to get…distracted. It bothered him more than he'd like to admit to himself. As a rule, once he decided someone wasn't for him or was out of his reach, he stopped himself from stray thoughts and so forth. But whenever he was near Cameron he subconsciously noticed her—random, absurd things, like the way she sometimes tilted her head in inquiry, or the way she liked her coffee.
Chase closed his browser window and got up. So much for the break, but he was used to it, with House around. He was at the door before hearing House assign Foreman to the woman with a case of syphilis.
Life could definitely be worse.
xxxxx
Twenty minutes later, Chase would have gladly swapped places with Foreman. The Mallory family hadn't taken it well to say the least, and he'd seen mothers less hysterical after hearing about their son's death. Granted, testing positive for HIV was one of those things that forever affected one and one's family, but it didn't warrant full-blown screaming. With all his experience, Chase had never had anyone react quite this way. It sounded like something out of an old horror flick and indeed, it was starting to scare the other patients. He only hoped that Cameron could calm her down before House came over to make some caustic remark that would only exacerbate the situation.
"Mrs. Mallory, please have a seat," he tried saying. Her husband was sitting in shock next to her.
"He was a good boy, I don't understand, he never had many girlfriends," Mrs. Mallory babbled.
From a medical point of view, that was good news because it meant he hadn't had the chance to spread it to many people. On the other hand, that did make it more tragic. "It's unfortunate but you don't need to panic, Mrs. Mallory. Dr. Cameron is an immunologist and she can recommend several treatment plans. I assure you, we'll determine what's best for your son."
He kept his voice at a comforting murmur, trying to speak with as little accent as possible. Sometimes it was easier to connect when the other person didn't subconsciously view him as a foreigner. Cameron noticed what he was doing and raised an eyebrow, which he took to mean that he was failing horribly at his attempt to sound non-Australian.
Between the two of them, they finally talked Mrs. Mallory into a more or less calm state. Trust House to be intuitive about things like Cameron needing extra help with overreacting parents, Chase thought. Foreman hadn't had half as much trouble when he informed the patient himself of his condition.
What was more surprising was that as Chase and Cameron walked back to the patient's room, he caught a glimpse of her face and stopped in surprise. Cameron kept on walking so he grabbed her wrist.
"What's wrong?"
She pulled away but he followed her to the conference room. House was out, something to be thankful for, because Chase wasn't sure how he'd react to a teary Cameron.
"Come on, was it Mrs. Mallory? She'll be fine, you know, once she gets over the shock. I'm sorry, I knew you were having a bad day. I could've handled it alone."
"No, it's not that. I don't want to talk about it." She wasn't quite crying yet, but her eyes were shimmering with liquid.
"Was it something any of us did?" he asked hesitantly.
"Maybe God," she said vehemently, turning around with her hands on her hips. "Or if you don't believe in religion, then blame it on Fate."
He couldn't follow her train of thought but Chase thought that he had a good idea of where this was going. What was unusual was that it was over a patient that was a complete stranger; Cameron hadn't even exchanged a few words with Henry Mallory, so it didn't make sense that she was being so emotional over him. He was spared having to ask her for more, though, when she continued.
"You're telling his parents that he's going to die. Sooner or later, but it's not going to be peaceful, it's not going to be painless." Tears spilled down Cameron's pale cheeks and she curled her hands into fists. Most men would have been at a complete loss, faced with the breakdown of a woman who was usually so competent and professional. Chase was different; perhaps he still had a bit of a priest's soul in him.
"HIV infection isn't the end of his life," he said softly. "You know as well as I do that there are hundreds of treatments out there being developed and researched. And the MC should be resolved with some treatment."
"His mother gave me this look…" Cameron wiped away her tears quickly, trying to regain control of herself. "I'm just being silly. I'm sorry, Chase, I don't know what's wrong with me today."
He studied her for a moment and decided to press his luck. The worst that could happen would be that she would be angry with him for overstepping his boundaries. "Yes, you do know. Tell me about it?"
Maybe he was just distant enough for her to be able to do so. Not so close a friend that she would feel guilty in burdening him with her problems, but not just an acquaintance, either, to whom it would be awkward that she would share her thoughts or feelings. And somehow despite their ability to work together professionally, it never really felt as if that was all they had in common when he was with Cameron.
She turned away from him, taking unsteady breaths. "It's just today. It's nothing, Chase. I just saw the look on the mom's face and I wondered if—if I looked like that when I found out." Her shoulders shook with suppressed sobs and Chase made her face him. He never knew exactly how it happened or who made the first move, but he found himself holding her.
He'd never really realized how soft she was, how delicately made, almost fragile. She was usually so commanding, so very confident, and he respected her for her intelligence and her skill in her chosen area. Truth to tell, he got along with her better than either Foreman or House. House disliked him, or at least he had that impression after the Vogler period, and Foreman resented him just a tiny bit because to Foreman, everyone was competition. With these and with the other people of PPTH, he maintained a professional, semi-friendly relationship, enough for the teamwork necessary in the job. The kind where you sent a small gift or a card on their birthdays, but not an actual present.
It shook him to see her crying like this. Cameron wasn't the kind of person to cry easily over nothing, although she was arguably emotional at times. He'd seen her keep her composure countless times when a lesser woman would've broke. Chase waited until the stormy fit of tears had quieted a little. He'd never expected to be her confessor, but he'd always been, hadn't he? Cameron had told him about her feelings for House before anyone else. She came to him when House was bothering her, like the day after her fancy date with House a week ago. She obviously trusted him, even if he didn't know exactly why.
"What's today, Allison?" He asked after the last of her sobs subsided. Her head had been resting on his shoulder but now she moved to look at him with a little surprise at his use of her actual name. Whatever she saw in his face reassured her.
"It's the anniversary of my husband's death," she said softly, so he barely heard. She squirmed a little and he loosened his hold, but she didn't push him away though she could have. "I told you it was silly. It's nothing."
Chase understood that she didn't want comforting words or more tears. He could see that she was already a little embarrassed that he caught her at a bad time and she was trying to rally.
"Why do you try to do that?" Cameron asked. She sounded incredibly normal and although the conversation change was abrupt, he pretended not to notice and answered her unsubtle plea.
"Do what?"
"When you were out there, you tried to hide your accent. I've seen you do it other times, too."
"If it makes people more comfortable, I'm willing to try." Chase shrugged. "People are less comfortable with foreigners."
"I think it's cute, though. It's true that a lot of girls love the accent." Her smile broke a little.
"Yeah…" He couldn't think of a single thing to say. Oh wait. House. "Well, a lot of people can't tell the difference between an Australian and British accent. Or actually, now that I think about it, by 'some people' I really just mean one person."
"He's just trying to annoy you in order to entertain himself." All traces of tears gone, except for the fact that her eyes were red. It was odd to see her put up her defenses, one by one, right in front of him. It only emphasized how vulnerable she had made herself to him, and he appreciated it. At the same time, he regretted the widening distance between them.
"You must have loved him deeply," Chase found himself saying. Moments later, he berated himself silently for bringing up the subject again.
"Yeah, yeah I did." Her voice was just barely tinged with bitterness. "Or maybe like Greg says, I only fall in love with broken things. I fix people, right? As a doctor, but…he thinks I want to fix him."
"Do you?"
"I'm not sure. It's like what I said before." She shifted restlessly and picked up a paperweight, only to set it down again. "I'm glad you were here and not anyone else," she said. Not House, Chase thought, the truth rather bittersweet. Cameron gave him a smile, small but sincere. "Thanks, Chase."
"Remember, if you ever fall I'll be there to catch you, all right?" It was such an absurd and juvenile cliché that it startled a laugh out of her, the sound warming him, or perhaps it was the feeling between them, a tentative connection formed from a shared experience neither would ever bring up again.
"Seriously, though. I'll be there if you ever need me, all right?" He was being transparent, but Cameron had been through too much just then to notice, though later she would wonder a little.
"Of course." Her hand shyly reached out to his and they clasped hands for a minute, a minor intimacy compared to what had just gone on before, but it strangely felt more meaningful.
xxxxx
Please review! I know there's more chapters, but I'm always interested in seeing how you think the story and their relationship develop. One of the very first readers once suggested "Intricacy" as the title for this story, and the more I think about it, the more it seems appropriate. What do you think?