Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Can't Fight the Moonlight
Chapter 16: Hide Away
Previously on Can't Fight the Moonlight
"I just want us to be honest with each other..." He could tell that she was already nervous. Why is she so afraid of me? "Last night, I was trying my hardest to be there for you, and you just wanted Derek."
"But-" Addison tried to stop him. I don't want to do this! It was just too painful and uncomfortable.
"No." She needed to listen to him or else they weren't going to get anywhere. "Tell me how I can help you." He gazed into her eyes. "Why can't it be me who makes you feel better? I want to help you, but I can't if you won't let me."
XxXxXxXxXxX
Addison admired her work and fingered the tape on his knee in thought.
"What?" Alex inquired. She had a curious expression on her face.
She shook the face out of her hair. "I think I want to go back to work."
Where do we go,
How do we know,
What we're really after?
Sometimes it's clear,
When you are here
Nothing can shatter our world.
I need some faith now,
to trust you somehow.
"I'm ready to go back." Addison sat comfortably in Abby's office. "Really," she persuaded convincingly.
Abby stared straight at her, attempting to read her facial expression. It was evident that Addison could hide her true feelings well, a skill that allowed her to go twenty years without treatment. "A couple days ago you couldn't even get out of bed. And now you want to perform surgery? I just don't think it's a good idea, but it's up to you."
"I know it seems like I'm moving fast," Addison explained, "but this job is a big part of my life and it always has been. If I have to be away from it any longer, I'm going to start suffering from withdrawal." She added in that last part for dramatic effect and it seemed to work.
Abby set her notebook down. "I understand you're feeling better. But the fact of the matter is you can relapse back into depression just as quickly as you're recovering. Anything can set it off. Especially in situations of high emotional pressure or stress, for example, performing emergency surgery on a tiny infant."
"I've been doing this for almost two-thirds of my life. I'm excellent at closing myself off from what might be emotional situations to others." Addison was proud of herself for this very fact. It had been a hard lesson to learn.
"Maybe that's the problem." Addison was opening up and Abby could predict a great deal of progress being made soon. "You can't close yourself off to everyone. You'll end up moving through the motions of life without actually living it."
Addison leaned against the armrest of the chair. Abby didn't understand the requirements of her job. "I can't. It's impossible to save or kill someone nearly everyday and experience every emotion that tags along with it."
"I'm not talking about your work. Obviously, you can't change the demands of your occupation. But you can talk about other things. There are too many important values in life to just block them all out and throw them away."
Addison couldn't tell what Abby was getting at. It seemed like she wanted her to realize something. "Like what?"
"Your colleagues, your friends and family. Don't they give you something to look forward to everyday? What about Alex?"
Addison noticed how skilled Abby was at manipulating conversation. They went from talking about her work to complicated questions about philosophy and her love life. "What do you want to know?"
Addison was being difficult and avoiding uncomfortable subject material. Abby knew that they had to move past these moments in order to be successful with their sessions. "Do you open up to him? Do you tell him things that you wouldn't necessarily tell any other people?"
"Yes..." This wasn't what she wanted to talk about. She couldn't talk about Alex like this. She loved him and she didn't want to talk to Abby about this. "I tell him things."
"Do you tell him what you're thinking? Truthfully?" Addison needed to have the luxury of feeling comfortable with being herself at home.
Addison reached up into her hair and twisted the red curls between her fingers nervously. "I can't."
"Don't say that," Abby encouraged. "Don't tell yourself that you can't. You CAN do anything. Why do you feel like this? Is it him?"
"No." Addison asserted. She rested her hands on her knees and began to pull at the fabric of her pants. She looked everywhere except Abby's eyes. "It's definitely not him. He's just...perfect. And I'm such a burden. I don't want to give him anymore trouble." Her voice sunk into the lower register. "I don't want him to leave me."
"Now, do you really think that? Do you think Alex would actually leave you? Now, of all times?" Abby didn't know Alex very well, but the few times she spoke with him, it was clear that he was an extremely honest man, wearing his feelings on his sleeve.
Addison laughed a little. "I guess that's a little ridiculous. On a realistic level, I don't actually think he would leave, but I guess I've always been kind of a paranoid person, you know, ever since the divorce."
"But Alex isn't your ex-husband." Abby was so passionately involved in this conversation that she dropped her notepad, which had been long useless in her hand. "From what you've said about him, he's completely trustworthy."
"I know..." Addison trailed off again. "He is! And I do love him."
Addison was convincing herself, just what Abby wanted to happen. "Yes! And I have a very strong feeling that if you opened up to him, he wouldn't see it as a burden. He would be so glad that you trusted him and you could have this nice, secure place where you just know that everything's going to be okay."
Abby's outburst was a little unprofessional, so she smoothed down her pantsuit and folded her hands. "What do you think?"
"I will try really hard, but I can't make any promises." As Abby trusted Addison, Addison felt more comfortable in her presence. Addison leaned back and smiled.
"Good, that is all I can ask." Abby picked up her notepad again and jotted something down about Addison's goals. She put her favorite reading glasses back on the bridge of her nose and pushed the dark locks from her face, "Are you still having nightmares?"
Addison gritted her teeth together. The nightmares were another sore subject. "Yes. But I didn't have one last night. That's good, right?" She asked hopefully. She had a feeling that last night was just the result of the lack of sleep that she's been suffering from lately. She was so tired that she just shut down and her mind didn't even have enough energy to dream.
"Maybe. We'll see. They should be subsiding soon. It'll help if you let someone comfort you. Don't close yourself off." Abby could tell that Addison was uneasy. She peered at her over the tops of her reading glasses. "Did something happen?"
"Well, Alex and I kind of had a fight. Alex said that I pushed him away during one of my nightmares. He called Derek and all I can remember is hearing Derek's voice and then seeing Alex and feeling a rush of relief." Addison stared at the floor in embarrassment. She knew that she had hurt Alex's feelings. "I feel bad, but it's not like I can control what I'm doing in my sleep."
"How long were you asleep before this happened?" Abby put her pen and paper down and took off her glasses.
Addison wrinkled her nose in concentration. "I have no idea. Why?"
"It sounds like you are experiencing night terrors."
"Oh. Can I, um, do anything to make them stop?" They were really causing a strain on her relationship with Alex.
Abby took a deep breath. "Actually, I've already given Alex some material on them. He knows what to do. He has everything he needs to help you. You just have to let him."
"But I don't know how!" Addison protested. She pushed her hand against her throbbing head. "I want to, so badly, but how can I ever fully trust a man again?"
Abby cursed the guy who attacked her once more. She couldn't understand why a couple of guys had to ruin it for the male sex as a whole. What she could understand was why Addison remained this closed off. She was very well reasoned in her lack of confidence. "I wish I could give you a clear cut answer, but, the truth is that I can't do that. You have to figure out the answer to this one on your own. Just try to see each person as an individual with a clean slate. Has Alex ever done anything to give you a reason to doubt him?"
"No." Addison was starting to see Abby's perspective, but it was going to take a lot more to restore her faith in the opposite sex. She feared she would never be able so see men the same. Just the thought brought tears to her eyes. "Oh my God. I just can't believe this happened to me." She rested her head in her hands.
Abby reached across and touched Addison reassuringly. "I know. It's going to take some time, but it'll get better. Just stay optimistic. You're a strong woman and I know you can get through this."
Addison wiped the tears from her eyes, a gesture that was too quickly becoming a reflex. "Okay. Thanks."
"And if this doesn't work, I can always prescribe you some medication, to help with the night terrors." Abby preferred to use medication as her last resort, only to eliminate the risk of dependence.
Addison reached for her purse. "Well, I'd better go or else we're going to run late again. I don't want your other patients to think I'm taking up too much of your time."
Abby stood up. "Yeah, I've learned that when dealing with people who have psychological problems, it's best to stick to a strict schedule."
Addison smiled and nodded. "That makes sense. So, I guess I'll see you in a couple of days."
"Just remember what we talked about and you should be fine. Give me a call if you need to."
Addison shrugged. "I think I'll be fine."
The two women said their goodbyes and Addison headed out the door. She smiled on her way to Richard's office. She was excited about going back to work.
Maybe I'm losing it?
Maybe I'm okay?
We turn around,
Look around,
Go around in circles.
Addison walked confidently out of the locker room. She had her white coat on and her stethoscope. Her name tag said "Addison Montgomery, Head of Neonatology." She felt important and needed.
She brushed her hair back and made her way to the OR board, coffee in hand. Alex came up behind her. "Are you thinking about performing surgery?" He leaned back on the wall beside the board, facing her.
"No. I was just observing the other...um..." Addison trailed off.
"Liar." Alex spat, jokingly. He laughed. "You were totally giving the board in an 'I want you. I need you.' kind of stare. You know, the kind that you used to give me."
"Hey!" She playfully hit him. "I was NOT! And I still look at you that way." She gave him her best sultry stare, but, as she wasn't really into it, it came off confused and angry.
"Now, you just look ridiculous." Alex turned and stood beside her, glancing over the board. Derek, Burke, and Mark were ALL in surgery right now. Alex felt a little left out, as he wasn't asked to scrub in on any of them. But his thoughts turned to Addison and he realized that she was the only surgical attending not performing surgery at this very moment. "I'm sure you'll be back in the OR in now time," he reassured.
"Yeah," Addison agreed. She knew she wasn't ready yet, though, to go back to the world of maximum intensity and competition.
Addison's sudden silence worried Alex. "You know, everyone misses you here. We're really glad that you're back."
Addison smiled. When she had first strutted into Seattle Grace, wearing all black, she would have never imagined people actually missing her here. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I missed the hospital too. All of the interesting people, the rush of adrenaline that I get when entering an OR, the confidence that comes from performing a successful surgery. Even doing rounds on the department, it's weird, but I miss the sound of a nervous intern rattling off a patient's history, symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment. In that order."
For a split second, Alex let down his guard and got lost in Addison's inspiring passion. He let his mouth hang open while intently listen to her speak. She reminded him of why he loved being a doctor. This only lasted for a moment, as Alex came back to his normal self before she could notice him. "Yeah, I understand." He responded with failing intensity. "I can't imagine going this long without surgery. It's our lives."
Alex shrugged, as this was just an acceptance that came to him somewhere in the middle of medical school, but something about his statement bothered Addison. It seemed like all of a sudden, there was so much more to life than a job. Granted, being a doctor came with a certain level of commitment, but she felt that life existed beyond the walls of the hospital. She remembered when her thoughts were very similar to Alex's, with one, superficial goal. She had learned her lesson the hard way. Just now, when it seemed to be too late, did she recognize the importance of friends. Hobbies. Family. She only hoped that Alex would realize what he truly wanted before he lost the chance to have it. But this was a conversation not to be had in the confines of the hospital. Or especially at such an emotional time as this. So, Addison nodded politely.
An awkward silence passed, as neither knew what to say at that exact moment.
As he started to leave, Alex thought this was a moment to hug or kiss or touch in someway, but she didn't seem like she felt it. He gave her shoulder a friendly squeeze. "Now that we have that all cleared up, I'm going to finish up some charts."
She smiled at him warmly, putting on a cheerful facade. "I'll see you tonight. Meet you in the locker room."
"Sounds great." He started off for the nurses' station, but then he turned around quickly. "Hey! No operating." He scolded her, kiddingly.
She gave him her best evil-eye as he turned back around. She wanted to operate, but she knew that it would be a bad decision. It was paperwork for her. But maybe she could just take one glance at her department before heading to her office. She took off for the NICU.
Addison was walking at a brisk pace when she slammed into Derek. "Whoa." They both caught their balance and he glanced nervously at her. "Sorry."
She smiled. "It's okay. How are you?"
He looked down at his feet and she noticed the hollowness in his eyes for the first time. "I'm sorry...I can't. I have to go."
"What's wrong, Derek?" She asked. She looked so worried that he couldn't even make eye contact." Nothing. I just have to go. Bye."
He moved in the opposite direction and she stared at his back, hurt. He hadn't ignored her like this for a long time. She bit her lip and glanced around. Everyone who had been staring at them quickly went back to what they were doing. She felt a small bit of deja-vu from their marriage, when they had openly yelled at each other in the halls.
Luckily, Callie rescued her from the embarrassment in a tight hug. "Hey!! How are ya? I'm so sorry I haven't visited much."
Addison nodded, recovering from the shock. She shook it off. "Yeah. I missed you!" She laughed and smiled. "I'm doing okay."
Callie's face brightened. "Well, you look fantastic. You know, when you're feeling better, we should all go to dinner. You and Alex. Me and George. It would be really fun."
"Okay." That whole situation sounded a little awkward to Addison, but she really wanted to have more fun. She had always gotten the vibe that Alex and George didn't really get along. "Do you know what happened to Derek? I just saw him and he was acting really weird."
"Oh, you didn't hear?" Callie's face fell. "Meredith broke up with him last night. He's devastated."
"Why did she break up with him?!" Addison was bewildered. She couldn't believe this. After the divorce, she had figured that Meredith and Derek would date for a while and eventually get married. She didn't know Derek when he wasn't with her or Meredith.
"I guess Meredith wanted to be more independent," Callie half-lied. She knew that Meredith had been upset about the amount of time Derek had devoted to Addison recently. But she felt it wouldn't be the best idea to tell Addison this on her first day back to work.
Addison sighed and thought for a minute. She knew there was something that Callie wasn't telling her and she had a feeling that this was out of pity. She paused, "Thanks for telling me, Cal."
"It's nothing..." Callie saw the wheels turning in Addison's head, formulating a plan, and she grew worried. Addison was not supposed to be stressed or puzzled at this point in her recovery. "Hey, don't worry about it. Actually..." Callie hesitated, trying to find something to take this off Addison's mind, "I was just planning this- uh- thing for tomorrow. Event. All of the girls. Together. Do you want to come?"
Addison shrugged. "Who's going to be there?"
"Ummm..." Callie thought. This was the stupidest thing that she'd ever done. Why couldn't she have suggested a movie, or a home-cooked meal? But no, Callie just had to mention something that involved all of her least favorite people in the same room. She cursed the fact that all of her quick decision-making skills were confined within the walls of an O.R. "Meredith will be there. And Cristina…maybe Bailey. And," Callie gritted her teeth, "Izzie. And you too, if you come." She supposed that this was really the best thing for Addison.
"Well, that's just about everyone. I suppose it would give off the wrong impression if I wasn't there." Addison shifted her weight. She didn't really want to go to this.
"You don't have to-" Callie prayed that this reverse psychology would work. "I just thought that we could all talk, and, you know, vent. Or whatever."
"I just want everyone else to think that I'm recovering well. And, it might be good for me to be with women for a while." Addison was talking herself into this, just as Callie planned.
"Great! I'll count on you being there!" Callie tried to escape, but Addison grabbed her arm. "Wait!"
Callie swallowed. "What?" she asked nervously.
Addison smiled. "You forgot to tell me where it is and what time we're meeting."
"Oh." Callie seemed relieved. Until she had to think of something. Not Joe's. That would be a bad idea, to expose the frustrated, vulnerable women to alcohol and men. Not Meredith's. Too many men there. "I'll rent the penthouse for a night. At the Archfield. Be there at eight."
"Okay. Do you want me to help pay for the room?" Addison knew that money wasn't really a problem with Callie, but she offered anyway to be polite.
Equally as polite, Callie replied, "Don't worry about it. We'll work it out later. Maybe we can flaunt our riches in front of the starving interns."
Addison laughed. "Yeah. That sounds fun. I'll see you there."
"Ok, bye."
Addison left and Callie slouched down in a nearby chair. Somehow, she had to get Meredith, Cristina, Izzie, AND Bailey all together in a hotel by eight o'clock tomorrow. It was highly likely that most of them were on-call. And it was even more likely that no one would want to come. Callie wasn't too popular at the hospital, especially with the interns.
She was going to have to do some major groveling.
Why are we keeping our secrets?
Why are we hiding our selves away?
Any we can hide away.
I don't want to fake it.
I want to make you believe what I say.
I won't let you hide away.
Addison stood in the doorway of her bedroom, leaning against the frame. She had never been so nervous about something so simple. She almost didn't want to fall asleep. She felt terrible because of what had happened with Alex and she didn't want to repeat hurting him ever. They were just starting to get back to their old routine. She walked tentatively toward the bed, pulling back the sheets ever so slowly. Then she stood at the side of the bed, her eyes resting on the incredible purity of the white sheets.
Alex casually walked in. He yawned and then noticed Addison's strange gaze. He went over and tapped her on her shoulder. "Hey."
She did a double take, not really believing her eyes at first glance. Then, she relaxed. "Hey."
When she made no move to get into the bed, he asked, "Are you ready to go to sleep?"
"I'm not really tired," she lied as she cautiously climbed into bed. "Do you mind if I read a little before bed?"
"Of course not." Alex made his way to the opposite side of the bed. "Or we could talk."
Addison twisted the sheets between her fingers nervously. What does he want to talk about? This sounds like a bad idea.
Alex read her body language and backed away a little, giving her some space. He didn't know why she was acting like this. They'd had many conversations over the course of their relationship. But, lately, it seemed that her confidence levels had decreased dramatically. It bothered him, as he made sure that she knew she could trust him. In effort to make her more comfortable, he leaned back and started off with a light subject. "I forgot to tell you- Mark isn't going to be here tonight. He's at Izzie's."
"Yeah, I figured because he's not here." She laughed a little. "I guess it's just us tonight."
Alex grinned. "Finally, some alone time." He rested his head on her shoulder. His excitement and proximity gave her the wrong signals and she withdrew, but at the same time letting her hand run up his forehead and through his hair.
"Alex, I'm sorry. I just can't- I mean, I'm not quite-"
"I know." He stressed again. "It's going to be hard for us to have sex again."
She blushed and looked away. It's going to be hard for ME to have sex again. He's probably getting impatient.
His fingers grazed her cheek as he read her mind. "I can wait."
She turned back toward him, sighing. "But..." she started for him.
He smiled at her. "But...it's going to be hard no matter when we do it. You can trust me. I'm never going to hurt you ever, especially in that way. Because I love you."
Addison smiled back, genuinely. She let her body sink into the cushion of the bed and her pillow and wrapped her arms somewhere around his torso. She mumbled an "I love you" into his jaw. At that moment, she felt so comfortable and safe that she fell asleep.
Of course, Alex knew that it wouldn't last long. He found the remote that seemed to control everything in the room buried underneath the sheets. He must have pressed fifteen different buttons before the lights went off, his original goal. Not too long after, he fell asleep.
He woke up when he felt her start to move on the sheets, and prayed that she was just subconsciously changing positions. But then he felt the wetness on her cheeks, and her body shook against his. Suddenly, a wave of deja-vu washed over him, and he clutched the sheets in panic. I can't call Shepherd. I won't call Shepherd. But Mark isn't home. There's no one here. It's just us. I'm actually going to do this. I have to help her myself. He had to take a few deep breaths and calm himself, before he turned his attention to Addison.
He brushed her hair back from her eyes and noticed how damp it felt from the sweat. He found her eyes in the dark. "Addie?" He pressed his cool hands to her warm cheeks. "Shhhh..." he whispered into her ear. "Just breathe. Breathe." He pulled her close so that she could feel his chest and breathe with him. "Breathe." But all she could do was choke out sobs.
All of a sudden her eyes snapped open and it scared him. "Addison?" She grabbed him by the shoulders and dug her fingers into his muscles. Obviously, he wasn't making anything better for her. "ADDISON!" He shouted, trying to penetrate into her subconscious. It only seemed to make her more frustrated.
He rested his head on her shoulder. He really shouldn't have shouted at her, but it was getting so hard to connect with her and he just wanted to help her so badly. She made a sound, and he pulled back a little so he could hear her. She seemed to be whimpering "Please, please, please..." over and over.
Maybe it would be best to wait it out. After all, Alex reasoned, she couldn't do this forever. He slid his hand from her hip, under her shirt and over to her back. She's really warm, he thought. Alex really didn't want her to get overheated. She was wearing long sleeved silk pajamas to bed, and as far as he knew, nothing underneath. He pushed her away and fingered the collar of her top. "Addie, I'm just going to pull this down a bit, so you can cool off, okay?"
He began to nudge the fabric away, but when she felt it move, she slapped his hand away and scooted away from him. She almost fell off the bed, but he grabbed her and pulled her back to the center, careful to remain at least a foot away. He sighed. Alex really did not know what to do. He tried to think back through all the years of his medical training for anything that might have prepared him for something like this, but he came up with nothing.
Somehow, his thoughts turned to the previous night, when Derek had comforted her. Alex tried to recall what Derek had said. He remembered being really worried, and then Derek said that he had just talked to her about normal stuff. Normal stuff? Alex didn't remember exactly what that had entailed, until he thought of something that Addison had said earlier that day. She told him that she missed the hospital, the OR, surgery. The sound of a nervous intern rattling off a patient's history, symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment, in that order, she had stated.
Alex took a deep breath. He would feel rather silly doing this. But it was worth a try, if it would get her to stop whatever she was doing now. "Achondroplasia. A non-lethal form of chondrodysplasia. Transmitted as an autosomal dominant trait with complete penetrance. De novo mutations cause seventy-five to eighty percent of cases."
Alex paused. She had stopped whispering and whimpering, but she was still shaking so he continued. "I would recommend leg lengthening procedures using distraction osteogenesis. Some have been performed successfully. Better outcomes are reported with the use of the Orthofix Garches lengthening device along with tenotomy of the Achilles tendon and syndesmosis, which provide the fewest complications with healing indices."
"Alex." she cried and wrapped her arms around her. He let out a breath of relief. "Adds. Are you okay?"
"No." She pressed her face against his so she could feel the tiniest bit of stubble pricking her smooth skin. "I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to keep having these dreams."
"You're fine," he reassured, "I'm right here. And things will get better."
"I'm going to really try. I don't want this to hold us back. I'm really sorry."
"It's not your fault." His hands rubbed her back, but she sat up instantly.
"No, it is. I let it keep haunting me because it's the easiest thing to do. I've never taken the easy route before. It makes me feel so..." she gestured her hands wildly to make a point when she couldn't find the words.
"It's okay. Just go back to sleep. Now that you're going back to work, it will be easier to find the routine of the day. Everything will be normal again." He tried to pull her back down, without any luck.
Just LISTEN to me, she wanted to blurt out. Instead, she slammed her hand down on the bed with a smack! and instantly regretted it. "Sorry," she muttered. That was selfish. "I just wanted to talk about it."
He leaned up on one elbow. "Talk about what?"
"My dream." She moved so she could sit with her legs crossed. She was directly in front of him, but the lights were off.
"Okay." he sighed. "What was it about?"
"Ummm..." Addison blew some of her hair out of the way. "HE... and when I say HE, you know what I mean, right?"
"Yes." Alex nodded.
"Okay." It was difficult to remember exactly what it was about. "Well, HE was there. And he was trying to hurt me again. Except he had a knife this time. And he tried to stab me with it, but it didn't work, because I was too strong. And when he brought it across my skin, I couldn't feel anything- because I was in a dream, of course- but it seemed like I was numb to anything that he could do to me. And then I grabbed the knife from him, and-" she checked Alex's face, partly because she wanted to make sure that he was still listening, and partly to make sure he didn't think that she was insane. But he was looking at her, bright-eyed and honest, so she kept going. "-I grabbed the knife and cut myself. Again and again. And I said, 'Look, you can't hurt me-'"
Her eyes welled up in tears and she looked down at her own scarred skin. "I told him that he could hurt me because I was already hurting myself." She bit down on her lip in anxiety. She had never confessed something like this so openly to Alex.
"Addie." The tone of his voice caused her to feel even more apprehensive. But he just reached up and pulled down on her. "Come here." She felt nervous and resisted a little, and they fell to the side, so neither of them lay completely on top of the other. It was dark, so they could only see shadows. Alex rubbed the back of his fingers across her cheek and temple in a soothing manner.
Addison desperately tried to think of something to say. She stuttered and choked a few times before she found her voice. "I don't want to recover from this by hurting myself."
Alex sucked in a large amount of air. He was so glad to hear her say those words, but he really wanted her to mean them.
"I won't let it do this to me. I won't let HIM ruin everything for us. Because I know that it really bothers you when I-" It's one of those moments when her breath is taken away from her and all she can do is hum for a second. "-when I cut." She grinds her teeth together in pain. She hates saying it, but it's getting easier. Most of the pain and embarrassment is still there, but it's lessened.
She can't see him, but he is staring at her incredulously. "It doesn't just bother me, Addison." He can't believe that she hasn't realized this before. "It TEARS me apart." He enforces his statement with strength rather than dominance. "It hurts me to know that you're hurting. And I know it's not your fault for doing it. I know that. I'm not blaming you. But I need you to stop. I NEED you to do that. Okay?"
Addison nods. "Okay. I'll try. Because I hate it when you hurt too."
He squeezes her hand in overwhelming alleviation and squints at the clock. "Damn it. It's one o'clock. We gotta get some sleep before going to work tomorrow." He leaned forward to grab their pillows and brought them over to where they would be needed now. "Are you okay with sleeping sideways?" Cause I'm pretty comfortable."
"Mmm. Me too." She snuggled back into his side. "And you missed the cardinal features before."
"What?" He stared down at her in confusion.
She looked up at him and blinked. "Achondroplasia. The cardinal features include short stature, rhizomelic shortening of the arms and legs, a disproportionately long trunk, trident hands, midfacial hypoplasia, prominent forehead, thoracolumbar gibbus, true megalencephaly, and caudal narrowing of the interpedicular spaces. In the edition of the textbook that you were reciting from, the cardinal features should have come right after you say that De novo mutations cause seventy-five to eighty percent of cases."
Alex chuckled as he adjusted her pillow. "Only Addison Montgomery." And she was back to her confident, scary-smart, self.
A/N: I KNOW. It's been forever since I updated. And I do say this every time. But I hope that I made up for it in the cuddliness. Because I gave you EXACTLY what you asked for. :) They were very fluffy. At least at the end.
And it was very long. Even after I cut out a whole bunch of stuff, which I may include at the end of the fic as like a "deleted scenes" kind of thing. I know, cheesy, right? But deleted scenes are personally my second favorite thing to watch on the special features of DVDs. Second only to bloopers and the deleted scenes and bloopers of fic are kind of like the same thing.
All of the medical stuff was from eMedicine. Because I don't know all of that stuff off the top of my head. But I read it and thought about it and understood it. That has to count for something, right? I mean, even Alex Karev needs a refresher course once in a while.
I'm really sorry that I had to use a Hilary Duff song for the title. Please don't hate me. I just had to.
The reviews were actually VERY motivating. I got like 5/6 of this chapter done the very first night. And then I was like "I don't feel like writing an anxiety attack right now. Maybe tomorrow." And then I kept putting it off until today, when I realized it was actually kind of fun to write.
And so, the point of this is that you should keep reviewing. Because there are no anxiety attacks for me to put off in the next chapter. The next chapter is actually kind of funny. It's the whole girls thing that Callie was planning and it's going to be SUPER FUN. I'm really excited. So hopefully, I'll see ya again in less than half a year. Or so.