AN: So Sorry about the delay, issues with painkillers, when I found ones that worked they made me sleep all day, well I hope you like this chapter.

Thanks so much for all the reviewers, it means so much to me and your encouraging words are the ones that help me through the fogginess of the painkiller and help me update.

Thank you

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

ENJOY

Sam stood in the small washroom in the small house that Dean had managed to rent, he wasn't sure how, but he didn't ask questions, he was just glad his brother had worked something out.

He stood in front of the mirror, his reflection staring back at him, he half expected the reflection to take on a life of its own, become possessed by Bloody Mary once more; he brought his fingers up to his cheeks, resisting the urge to dig a trail from his eyes down his pale cheeks.

It was the last day of his 28 day cycle and he felt as if he had already been to hell and back, which was a grim thought since there was so much treatment left to go through. He hadn't bottomed out as bad as he thought he would have, for once he had actually held his own against the treatment, and the joint pain hadn't lasted more than 3 days, once he was on painkillers for it. Naturally Dean had insisted on going to the doctors for the joint pain, and while there he just got the usual thing, 'this is normal with Vincristine, here are some pain killers enjoy', but if it made Dean happy for him to go, then he had no problem doing it.

But one of the biggest adjustments, that he really hadn't gotten use to, dealt with the loss of his hair, and not just the hair on his head. Over the past 14 days he had completely lost his hair, his leg hair, his arm hair, hell even his eyebrows and eyelashes, and now he was standing in front of the mirror staring at the alien in front of him, unrecognizable even to his own eyes. He traced the areas on his face where hair should be, so lost in his reflection he jumped when he heard the banging on the door.

"Hey Sam?! You gonna share that bathroom?! Cause I'd hate to have to drop a deuce in your bed"

Sam smiled at his brother vulgarity, and his new word for shit, that he had somehow adopted over the past few days.

"Ya, Ya" he called back, putting his bandanna and hat back on, careful as he felt the tug on his chest. He stepped back, taking one last look in the mirror, drawing a deep breath in as he opened the door, smiling again as he watched his brother shuffle from foot to foot from the discomfort of having to go to the washroom.

"All yours" he said as he walked down the narrow hallway, ignoring his brother's sigh of relief as he shut the door.

The young hunter walked into the small kitchen, opening a cupboard and reaching for a glass, he cringed as he felt the tug once more on his chest, the newest addition to his officially fucked up life, a port a cath that had been put in his chest on day 20, its about the size of a dime hiding beneath the skin of his chest, a small tube attached to it running up to his throat where it was inserted into a main vein and then run down to his heart where it lay, the whole system acting as a central IV system so he wouldn't have to endure so many IV starts in his hands and arms.

Sam touched the tender area, the bandage still in place, hiding its grotesque appearance, but nothing could hide the small protruding bump of the port, hard to the touch, a constant reminder of the chemo he was going to endure the next day, and the upcoming months.

His hand grasped the glass, pulling it from the cupboard, shaking slightly, his nerves frayed at the thought of the impending chemotherapy. He didn't want to do this anymore, hell it was only the second month and he felt like he was ready to crack, how was he going to last five, possibly seven more months of this?!

The glass slipped from his grasp, crashing to the floor, the young Winchester stood staring at the fragments scattering the floor, 'How am I going to get through this?' he thought, his eyes welling up. Then the answer echoed down the hall, "Sam?! You okay?"

Sam nodded not trusting his voice; he knew then, how he was going to get through this, and why he had to make it.

"Sammy?!" Came the urgent voice once again, toilet flushing.

"Ya!" he called back, crouching down, slowly picking up the glass, the thought of chemo still lingering in his mind… God he didn't want to go.

Next Day

The sterile smell of the hospital invaded Deans nose as he walked down the hall, his brother beside him, his hairless body still something he was getting used to, Dean tried to act like it didn't phase him when he was with Sam, but when his younger brother wasn't looking he couldn't help but stare at him. He knew it was his Sammy and it always would be his Sammy, but it sure as hell didn't look like the brother he had grown up with, his strong physique weakened tremendously in just the past month, his movements slow and his face withdrawn, he had slowly changed into a cancer patient, the ones Dean only saw walking in hospitals or in movies, but now his brother was part of that, and if Sammy was part of it, so was Dean.

The two brothers stepped into the outpatient treatment area, joining the line that had already formed, "You can go sit if you want Sammy" he offered, noticing how tired his brothers eyes were, and how his face had started to flush because of his steroids.

Sam just shook his head, he wasn't ready to sit in the waiting room with all the other patients, he wasn't ready to be considered part of that group.

Dean just nodded, not wanting to argue with his little brother, secretly not wanting Sam to go sit in the waiting room either.

So both boys waited in silence, following the leads of the others waiting in line, no one talking, for there was nothing good to talk about.

The young hunter watched as the patients filled the waiting room, their faces pale and withdrawn, most of them as bald as Sam, others had a few wispy hairs scattered on their scalps, and a select few still brandished a full head of hair. The young hunter couldn't help but be jealous of those select few. He watched as a young woman walked into the room, holding her baby on her lap, a k-basin in front of the baby's small face as it vomited its meager stomach contents, finally stopping with a little cough as he raised his small head, a small smile adorning his lips.

Sam couldn't smile as he lowered his head, shame filling him as he thought of the cruel fate the baby had been given, and how he had the audacity to complain about his situation, it was nothing compared to the small child who wasn't even given a chance to live and yet could still smile, he shook his head, he had never felt so weak and disgusted with himself.

"You okay?" Dean asked, his voice soothing, causing the younger brother to look up, meeting Deans eyes, amazed at the amount of concern he found in them, he just nodded, looking back over to the baby, trying to smile.

"Good, cause we're next in line" Dean replied following his brothers gaze to the child, but quickly looking away, he didn't need to see that.

Two hours later

It didn't take long before Sam found his new port hooked up to an IV, the area still tender, but that didn't stop the nurses from accessing it for his hydration and chemo.

He was well on his way with his hydration, waiting for the chemo as he lay in a hospital bed in the Daycare for cancer patients, Dean beside him in a chair.

Thin curtains the only things separating the brothers from other patients who were receiving their treatment, nine beds filled half the room, each one occupied, while some patients had to sit in chairs, waiting for the next bed to empty.

A small half wall separated the room, the other side being used for the small infants, cribs set up along with rocking chairs and change tables. Sam was surprised at the amount of babies that were in that half of the room, the cries easily making their way over to the brother's side.

Sam could see Dean leaning forward as another cry rang through the day care, his head in his hands in obvious discomfort from their surroundings.

"You can go Dean" Sam said, causing the older hunter to look up, "I know you don't like hospitals, and you can come back later, its no big deal, I can phone you when I'm done" Sam finished, looking away from his brothers shocked eyes.

"You have to be fucking kidding me, Sam how could you even suggest that? Do you honestly think I would ever leave you?" He questioned, anger bubbling up.

"Well I wouldn't blame you if you did, hell Dean your just going to sit there all day watching me die"

"Hey!" Dean yelled standing up, knocking his chair over in the process, not caring about the scene he was creating, "Lets get something straight Sammy" he seethed getting right up into Sammy's face.

"As long as you're in this hospital, laying in any of these beds, I will be here, and don't you ever, EVER mention death again, you're a Winchester, we're to stubborn to die, and don't you ever forget that" he finished, his voice not as seething as it was emotional.

Sam didn't respond, the raw emotion in his brothers voice more than he could handle, he turned away from his brothers eyes as Dean settled back into the chair beside his bed once more.

Four hours later

They sat in silence, occasionally acknowledging the nurse who checked in on Sam who was more than half way down his chemo for the day, the last drug, Etoposide, would begin once the benydryll was finished infusing.

The younger Winchester could feel the drug start to work, his finger tips starting to tingle and go numb, his body seeming weightless as the IV began to beep. He watched the nurse moving around him, the colors starting to blur together, and the noises in the room beginning to blend into one sound as his heavy eye lids began to drop, sleep succumbing his tired body.

Dean could do nothing but watch as his brother fell asleep, the feeling of helplessness settling over the older Winchester once again. He couldn't help his little brother, couldn't protect him from the illness that filled him, and that bothered Dean, but something new had started to tug at Dean as well.

He had started to notice not only in Sam's appearance but in his attitude as well, he had changed, from the somewhat sullen, but determined little brother, to one that had given up. Sam had lost his sense of life, his will to live, it was as if his little brother had accepted his fate, welcoming death with open arms, and it scared Dean to think his brother would give up so quick, if there was one thing he had control over, it would be his brothers hope, and he sure as hell hadn't accepted Sams death and he'd be damned if Sam gave up so quick, he was not losing his brother to the likes of some reaper, not ever again would he lose him.

He watched as Sam's body twitched, his eyes moving frantically beneath his lids, Dean sighed, yet another thing he couldn't protect his brother from, the constant nightmares that plagued his sleep.

But Dean was off in his assumption of Sam's dreams; yes of course it was a disturbing dream, but a foreign one, not the usual the young hunter encountered in his slumber.

Sam opened his eyes, his head pounding as looked around the dark room, the air surrounding him musty and damp, he lay in an uncomfortable bed, it felt as if he was lying on the wood frame with little to no padding, very fine blankets draped across his body that did little for the chill that resided deep within his bones.

He looked around the dark room a candle off to the side of the bed he lay in, the only source of light, he saw two shadows talking in the doorway, their voices muffled, he took in their appearance, their clothes ragged and dirty, almost like burlap sacks, and their bodies were covered in grime.

He tried to call out but his voice was more of a squeak as he started coughing, his chest rattling, a wet substances forming on his hands as he held them in front of his mouth, tears streamed down his cheeks, his lungs felt like they were on fire, he struggled to breath in between the coughs, and when he was finally finished coughing he couldn't help but grasp at his chest, the pain still there, his heart felt like it was going to explode as he still struggled to breathe, groaning in pain, panic settling in as he coughed more blood up. He tried to calm himself, to lay his head back down, but his body was on fire, it felt as if his lungs were making their way up, and he hoped they were, he wanted them out he had never felt such pain before.

Sam watched as one of the figures rushed over to him, wetting a cloth and putting it to his face, wiping his face with the cool water, trying to calm him.

Finally Sam calmed, the pain residing into a dull ache, he looked at the stranger who still held the cloth to his face, his face moving into the light, Sam would have gasped if he could as he realized that this stranger was no stranger at all, it was Dean.

He looked at his brother, taking in his appearance, the dirt covering his body and face, his hair longer, and his teeth rotting.

"Its okay my brother" Dean said quietly

Sam didn't know what to do, he couldn't understand the dream, but with the pain in his chest, he didn't really care, he lay back, still struggling to breathe.

"Everything will be okay, you will feel no pain soon" Dean said as he continued with the damp cloth, tears falling down his cheeks creating a clean line through the dirt.

"Promise?" Sam said quietly, finally finding his voice, as he looked into Deans crying eyes, knowing what was ahead, as he felt his eyelids become heavy, he wanted to struggle against the death that was waiting for him, but he couldn't, the pain had become unbearable, he wanted nothing more than to accept it, he could feel his breathing slow as his eyes began to droop. He watched his brother begin to sob as he slowly closed his eyes and breathed his last breath.

AN: Bad news Bears, this story is going to be on a bit of a hiatus, I want to get a few chapters in before I post again, I'll try really hard not to have you wait too long… really hard !

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